Ask The Fellas

[Guest Andreas1]

What if I'm "dressed up" (and this isn't decked out in designer goods but having a way to put pieces together) because I'm into fashion and not because I'm trying to impress a guy. Do I need to take it down a notch if I want to seem "approachable" to guys? If I do this, wouldn't I be changing myself for others?

I don't think you need to change your style, be comfortable with who you are. You might have to be a little more assertive when you spot someone you are interested in though. If you are just wanting an ego boost then simply notice the fact that you get a lot more looks than your friends who are dressed down etc.. guys may not be as obvious about it but I can guarantee they are checking you out. If you do decide to take it down a notch, don't think of it as changing yourself for others, but just trying a strategy to get what you want. It might not even work.. it's just a theory, everyone is different.

[Guest]

Scenario: Is it that big of a deal if a girl hangs out with their guy friend(/s)? When / if she is dating someone, just not exclusively? And if the two guys are friends as well? Note: - all three are friends. And she doesn't consider it a 'date' but just, hanging out as friends.

To be honest, I think girls can be good friends with guys too and hang-out with each other and vice versa. I just hear sometimes, that it's a 'bad' idea to do so especially in the given scenario above.

I was just wondering what guys would think or do if he knows she has hung out with a guy friend of both-of-them. 

[Guest amberlights]

Scenario: Is it that big of a deal if a girl hangs out with their guy friend(/s)? When / if she is dating someone, just not exclusively? And if the two guys are friends as well? Note: - all three are friends. And she doesn't consider it a 'date' but just, hanging out as friends.

To be honest, I think girls can be good friends with guys too and hang-out with each other and vice versa. I just hear sometimes, that it's a 'bad' idea to do so especially in the given scenario above.

I was just wondering what guys would think or do if he knows she has hung out with a guy friend of both-of-them. *quoted image*

Personally, I wouldn't mind my s/o to be hanging out with a bunch of guys. If shes hanging out only one guy though, I'd like to question what relationship that guy has with her. If the guy had met her before we dated and they're best friends or very good friends, I wouldn't really be concerned. However, if I find out that my s/o decides to cheat on me, I'd just end the relationship on the spot. Zero-tolerance for cheaters.

I just don't understand why other guys would get jealous when their girl hangs out with their guy friends. I'm pretty sure other guys would definitely like to hang out with their girl friends while they're in a relationship. For a serious relationship to workout, trust is a big issue. If the guy doesn't trust the girl to hang out with other guys, then he's seriously not worth dating.

[Guest HERMIT]

I was just wondering what guys would think or do if he knows she has hung out with a guy friend of both-of-them. *quoted image*

Just as it is with the girlfriend, so it is with the guy friend: it all depends on the level of trust for each of them. Sure, a boyfriend can have all the trust in the world with the girlfriend - but as for the guy friend, he also has to factor in his level of trust for him: just how good a friend is he? After all, there are different levels of friendship, ranging from just above being acquaintances to being age-old best buds. And as such, there are varying degrees of trust and how much one knows of said friend.

So with that said, if I knew the guy friend pretty well then I probably wouldn't think too much about it. But if this is a 'friend' only in the sense that I only see him in certain settings (ie. only at school, or only at work, or only at church) then I might have a little bit more reservations.

Also, I guess it also depends upon the context of what these "hang outs" are all about. Things like the frequency and purpose of these hang-outs would also come into question. Things like if it's only once in a while as opposed to every weekend/other day - or to discuss something specific as opposed to just meeting up for no particular reason - would also factor in how the guy might perceive the situation.

[Guest Shellymelly]

hey guys..

theres this guy im friends with, and we always talk to each other late at night. like usually from 11:30-1 am ish? ever since i came to hk for vacay we talked like every night because of the same time zone, he went to china for holiday a week before me. he's coming to hk to find me (and also his cousin) soon. and i dunno... we always talk n it seems like he likes talking to me, but im really not sure if he's just being friendly or what because when we were in the states he had a lot of girl friends. last time we talked from 12-3:30 am cus he didn't hav class the next day so he said he cud stay up a little later. so i really dunno.. if he just thinks of me as a good friend, or more?

[Guest minicherries]

hey guys so i met a cute guy at a party a while ago and we have never ever talked before

and he seems shy :3 so i wannna talk to him the next time i see him  

it seemed like he wanted to talk to me too but he  seemed really shy (he kept looking at me while i was playing a game with some other people)

LOL  i was shy too >_< ~!

we even asked him if he wanted to play but he refused politely and continueed to glance at me while we were playing our game

sooo yeahh  :3 how should i approach without seeming awkward ; ? xD 

[Guest amberlights]

hey guys..

theres this guy im friends with, and we always talk to each other late at night. like usually from 11:30-1 am ish? ever since i came to hk for vacay we talked like every night because of the same time zone, he went to china for holiday a week before me. he's coming to hk to find me (and also his cousin) soon. and i dunno... we always talk n it seems like he likes talking to me, but im really not sure if he's just being friendly or what because when we were in the states he had a lot of girl friends. last time we talked from 12-3:30 am cus he didn't hav class the next day so he said he cud stay up a little later. so i really dunno.. if he just thinks of me as a good friend, or more?

It looks like there's a high possibility that he just wants to know more girls and be more of a social person rather than have an interest in you. Although, there is a chance that he can like you. If you talk to each other late night only (after 11.30), is he ever on before that time? or does he only start a conversation then? I know heaps of guys that just want to get connected and meet new girls to be popular.It's hard to tell though. I suggest you observe him closely in hk, if he does any unnecessary grabbing or touching your arm, shoulder then he probably likes you. 

hey guys so i met a cute guy at a party a while ago and we have never ever talked before

and he seems shy :3 so i wannna talk to him the next time i see him  

it seemed like he wanted to talk to me too but he  seemed really shy (he kept looking at me while i was playing a game with some other people)

LOL  i was shy too >_< ~!

we even asked him if he wanted to play but he refused politely and continueed to glance at me while we were playing our game

sooo yeahh  :3 how should i approach without seeming awkward ; ? xD 

Next time you see him, give him a funny but friendly look with a smile and say something along the lines of "hey, weren't you the one at the party the other night? Why didn't you want to play the game with us!? It was heaps fun!" 

Don't be shy! It's always good to say hello to familiar faces. That's probably why the there's heaps of those cliche "have I met you somewhere?" or "you look familiar", lines to start off the conversation. It's probably the least awkward ways to begin conversation with a stranger, even if its true or not.

[Guest Shellymelly]

It looks like there's a high possibility that he just wants to know more girls and be more of a social person rather than have an interest in you. Although, there is a chance that he can like you. If you talk to each other late night only (after 11.30), is he ever on before that time? or does he only start a conversation then? I know heaps of guys that just want to get connected and meet new girls to be popular.It's hard to tell though. I suggest you observe him closely in hk, if he does any unnecessary grabbing or touching your arm, shoulder then he probably likes you. 

hmm... im not sure if he's ever on before that time, cus i go out usually during the day. but he told me that he usually only uses the computer at night now (like me) so... i guess hes only on late night?? yeah.. we only talk late night. its like a habit now? haha yeh.. i will observe him closely in hk XD.

[Guest Arlania]

i really love this topic! interesting to see how some guyz think LOL

i have questions for you guyz, 

1) let me just tell you the story so you will understand:

my cousin wanted us ( me and my other cousin) to test her boyfriend, so she gave us his number. I didn't really want to do it so i let my other cousin do it ( let's call her A it's easy and the girls wiz a BF is . So A was fooling around on the phone and then he introduced a friend of him to her. blabla then they want to meet. so they meet and A has a crush on B's BF !!! even if she didn't say it it was like so obvious =.= but she just went with the other guy and then one day she asks me to test that guy =.= ( girlz sometimes...) so i did and i endend up having a fight with B's BF and since then he keep calling on A's phone and then ask for me and after he asked my num and keep just calling me. we never talked about interesting stuf sometimes we were just like "so wazzup?" "nothing, u?" "same" blablabla and we stayed like that until 5AM. So here is the question does it mean he's interested in me? even tho he has a GF who is like my sister?????. 

2) ok now what if you r that guy, and because i live in an other country because of personal matter but he made me promise to call him and then i call but since it's foreign call it cost me a lot really i couldn't keep ( PS: i'm HS and my parent don't accept boy friend or me dating so i couldn't ask for the money) and he couldn't either. so i didn't contact nor him for now 2 years even i do try sometimes his num just don't work and he don't use computer or anything so i can't contact him. But what if the girl comeback... wold you expect her to call? would it be ok? or what?

3) is it true that if a guy touch your richard simmons it mean he want to have sex with you????

4) i heard guys do like when the girl make the 1st move like calling but what would you expect her to say? sorry i'm just bad a bringing up subject and all....

thanks guyz =)

[Guest kiss_bunny]

If your really really close friend (who's a girl) one day confessed to you, said she liked you blah blah blah. And you don't like her back in the same romantic way.....would you feel upset about the sudden distance? I mean you guys could still be friends but it wont ever be the same probably. And the girl would probably start putting distance between you two. Would you get upset that you kind of lost a friend?

[Guest jana123]

i have a huge problem :/ so here we go.....

me & this kid met eachother at a party and 1st day we were all over each other. we were wrstleing, holding hands & when i wasnt with him he'd ask my friends to call me or text me so he could be with me. that night we exchanged numbers & hung out almost everyday until he went on vacation. then when he got back he went out with our friends to dinner. i couldnt go i had other plans. so after that day he slowly started to ignoreme & it got to the point where we would text eachother. then we all met up at a friends house & thats the first time i talked to him & saw him. he was with another girl though...so later that night me & my friend had a phone convo & i told her how things have been weird. she's close to him btw. & she told me he doesnt regret meeting me but he's hung up on the other girl still...& he used me to get over her but he cant get over her....then i told her he should just end things with me...instead of being the way he is. so we all hung out after that a couple time's & he would always be around her so eventually i just ignored him & diddnt pay attention to his exsistance. but he ould constantly look at me & when she wasnt there he'd be all over me...i ignored him becuase i knew i'd only hurt more...

so what should i do ? should i try to get him back or move on completely and just stay friends ?

[Guest Castial]

i have a huge problem :/ so here we go.....

me & this kid met eachother at a party and 1st day we were all over each other. we were wrstleing, holding hands & when i wasnt with him he'd ask my friends to call me or text me so he could be with me. that night we exchanged numbers & hung out almost everyday until he went on vacation. then when he got back he went out with our friends to dinner. i couldnt go i had other plans. so after that day he slowly started to ignoreme & it got to the point where we would text eachother. then we all met up at a friends house & thats the first time i talked to him & saw him. he was with another girl though...so later that night me & my friend had a phone convo & i told her how things have been weird. she's close to him btw. & she told me he doesnt regret meeting me but he's hung up on the other girl still...& he used me to get over her but he cant get over her....then i told her he should just end things with me...instead of being the way he is. so we all hung out after that a couple time's & he would always be around her so eventually i just ignored him & diddnt pay attention to his exsistance. but he ould constantly look at me & when she wasnt there he'd be all over me...i ignored him becuase i knew i'd only hurt more...

so what should i do ? should i try to get him back or move on completely and just stay friends ?

well ignoring him wont fix the problem at all . I seriously think that you have to do something. But erm what he's doing is totally "blah" because... it seems like you arent anything but rebound.. so i guess getting back together with him isn't really a hood idea.. I guess the best way is to talk to him? to see his pov on things... other than that.. moving on and staying friends is the best choice you have... the only thing i'm concerned about is that the process of moving on can really be hurtful and it can be hard sometimes if you really like the person. But that is what your friends are for and i hope that they can help you through this problem..

Im sorry if this doesn't help, but this is my opinion on this situation >< . Good Luck

[AiriinxKumori]

should i feel miffed that my guy won't....well can't seem to listen to any words of advice on school,clothes or food but will listen to his "bros" and "higher authory figures"? when they basically say the same thing I say?

[Guest Andreas1]

should i feel miffed that my guy won't....well can't seem to listen to any words of advice on school,clothes or food but will listen to his "bros" and "higher authory figures"? when they basically say the same thing I say?

Just like girls hate it if their bf tries to tell them how to dress, or what to eat.. guys don't care much for it either. As long as he isn't being destructive in his choices, let him be.

[Guest Javus]

If your really really close friend (who's a girl) one day confessed to you, said she liked you blah blah blah. And you don't like her back in the same romantic way.....would you feel upset about the sudden distance? I mean you guys could still be friends but it wont ever be the same probably. And the girl would probably start putting distance between you two. Would you get upset that you kind of lost a friend?

I would feel upset, but I would probably understand and accept it, considering the situation. I'd still want her to be a friend though, even if we couldn't be close anymore.

[Guest xspringrollsx]

Me and my boyfriend have also been dating for a month now but have kissed only once. Too be honest I'm not comfortable kissing yet but I know he wants to everytime we say good bye. Is it rude for me to avoid his kisses? We hang out frequently so I guess he expects me to kiss him everytime. For some reason I feel that if we kiss too much it'll lead to be normal. Sort of like saying "I love you" too many times can lose its meaning. I like kissing him just not everytime we say good bye.

How would you feel if your girlfriend rejects your kisses? Should I explain my thoughts about this?

[Guest nana544]

What does it mean when a guy says this: So, a lot of guys must be hitting on you now at your school?

[Guest HERMIT]

How would you feel if your girlfriend rejects your kisses? Should I explain my thoughts about this?

To be honest, I probably would start wondering if the relationship is worth it because of the lack of intimacy at that level. I mean, frankly speaking, guys admittedly have sexual feelings/thoughts on their minds - so if it is so difficult to get a kiss from their girlfriend, how much harder will it be to escalate the intimacy later on down the road? Anyway, yes - at the very least discuss your concerns and apprehensions so that he at least knows what is up - rather than letting his own thoughts cloud his confidence and raise doubts about your relationship. Hope you can work it out. Maybe compromise and give him a hug and kiss on the cheek.

What does it mean when a guy says this: So, a lot of guys must be hitting on you now at your school?

I don't know how you look, so at the very least the simple implication here is that you appear to be attractive enough to get the attention of guys.

Without much context as to why this was asked, it's hard to discern if it was sarcastic or complimentary in nature.

[Guest kiss_bunny]

I would feel upset, but I would probably understand and accept it, considering the situation. I'd still want her to be a friend though, even if we couldn't be close anymore.

I want to confess to my close friend. And I feel like he's the type who would get really sad esp since he considers me as an extremely close friend. I don't want it to affect him too much. I don't know what to do =_= If i don't tell him, its going to eat me alive cuz i like him so much. I mean its not he's just an acquaintance. If it was, it wouldn't really matter if i lost him or not. But he's not one, he's a close friend @_@! Sure, he has other close friends but I doubt anyone wants to lose any close friend. SIGH!

[Guest atomato]

I saw this from another thread and just out of curiosity, how true is this?

"guys wont make an effort to plan one on one hang outs if they arent interested in you"