Ask The Fellas

[Guest Hot Fire Neko]

Well, this cute guy i've been eyeing in my art class added me on facebook, even though i thought he didn't really know me (so i didn't bother adding him at first)..

then we wall-to-walled

this is how it went:

me: hey, is this the guy that sits next to ___ and ____ ? hahaha

him: is this that girl that stares at me in class?

well being me, i kind of freaked out cause i didn't think he'd notice....

so i replied,

me: oh so this is the guy that looks funny every time he writes? haah hey! it wasn't just you... it was your friend, ____, too. it's just funny when he sits there staring into nowhere. sorry

but that last part isn't very important. is this a good thing? the fact that he asked if i stared at him during class? and yes, i do BUT I CAN'T HELP IT, everyone does that to someone they're attracted to, right?

...and whether good / bad, what does it mean?

Sounds like a really coy way to flirt with you and see what kind of reaction you would give being called out like that. I like his style.

Though seriously, it's very likely a good thing. If he were actually creeped out by it, he wouldn't have added you on fb. And now, you've opened up the doors to communication, so run with it!

[Guest luxuriedoll..]

haha sheesh, that reply just got me really excited.

THANKS LOTS! i'm excited for tomorrow.

[Guest dragonninja598000]

Well, this cute guy i've been eyeing in my art class added me on facebook, even though i thought he didn't really know me (so i didn't bother adding him at first)..

then we wall-to-walled

this is how it went:

me: hey, is this the guy that sits next to ___ and ____ ? hahaha

him: is this that girl that stares at me in class?

well being me, i kind of freaked out cause i didn't think he'd notice....

so i replied,

me: oh so this is the guy that looks funny every time he writes? haah hey! it wasn't just you... it was your friend, ____, too. it's just funny when he sits there staring into nowhere. sorry

but that last part isn't very important. is this a good thing? the fact that he asked if i stared at him during class? and yes, i do BUT I CAN'T HELP IT, everyone does that to someone they're attracted to, right?

...and whether good / bad, what does it mean?

Sounds like he attracted to you to. He had a hella smooth and sly response to what you said. Run with it and something probably will happen.

Is it really that bad? I kept letting it happen because I really thought we would go somewhere...but now he's acting different. Not plain ignoring me, but it's not like how things used to be.

This is what happens when friends hook up >=[

Thank you for your sympathy..

Well it really depends on how you look at it. The way I look at it I feel that he did you wrong. You or someone else might look at it and it would be different. I mean it's not just the fact that you guys hooked up, he's keeping you on reserve just in case something with his girlfriend goes wrong. And there a point in all this where he knows that you like him so he'll just con his way into a sympathy hook up. Yes this is a very gloomy way to look at it. Maybe he can't face you because you guys hooked up. It's hard to go back to the way things used to be especially when it's going back to a friendship. For me it's never worked so that might be why this is such a pessimistic view. =P

[Guest time_out]

ok. im going to phrase my question as simple as possible.

Would you (FELLAs) find yourself often more interested in a girl that you guys enjoy flirting around with or are you more interested in a girl that you can held a conversation with?

In other words, just imagine you're flirting with one and at the same time, having casual conversation with another girl. which one would you fall for faster??

[Guest Hot Fire Neko]

ok. im going to phrase my question as simple as possible.

Would you (GUYS) find yourself often more interested in a girl that you guys enjoy flirting around with or are you more interested in a girl that you can held a conversation with?

In other words, just imagine you're flirting with one and at the same time, having casual conversation with another girl. which one would you fall for faster??

I can flirt with a girl all day, but I won't fall for her if she can't keep my interest in normal conversation. Enjoyable conversation and similar interests are generally a quicker way for a guy to FALL for a girl than her being a worthwhile flirt subject.

Being a good flirt subject and a boring conversationalist implies that one would rather just hook up with her, not fall for her and/or date her.

[Guest dragonninja598000]

ok. im going to phrase my question as simple as possible.

Would you (FELLAs) find yourself often more interested in a girl that you guys enjoy flirting around with or are you more interested in a girl that you can held a conversation with?

In other words, just imagine you're flirting with one and at the same time, having casual conversation with another girl. which one would you fall for faster??

Well it really depends on what you mean by interested. If you mean taking them to bed then of course the girl that's flirting with me. As for being a potential mate a conversation can go a long way.

[Guest Aromdeon]

How would you feel if the girl confessed her feelings first to the guy she likes? Is it okay or should she just wait?

[Guest luxuriedoll..]

what do guys think / feel about when they find out a girl likes them, then their whole clique knows, then it begins to spread around the school?

i mean, the girl tried explaining herself earlier for a cover-up, but the guy just walked by while looking at her and ignored her completely. now the girl feels unsettled.

edit: the guy and girl don't know each other very well... only as much as each others names and the people they hang out with. they just met a few days after the beginning of school. oh and their whole group is weirdly in the girls block A every morning.. -.-

[Guest lovexlindseyyy]

To confess, I think I'm falling for an absolute player, and I swore I wouldn't fall for him, because I know he's a player and have heard far too many people tell me how 'bad' he is because he has girls lined up for him. I am fully aware, and I know what I'm getting into. To make a long story short, he's always the one to text me first and he texts me every day...we were supposed to hang out on Saturday but his football game was rescheduled due to rain and was set to Saturday so we couldn't. Since Sunday, he had not texted me and it wasn't until Monday I found out he had lost his phone. He has expressed interest for me, but I'm not too sure I believe him? Anyway, the only other means of communication I have with him is facebook (his AIM doesn't work on his computer, and he doesn't go to my school), but on facebook he seems distant and different when we chat, to make matters worse I miss him, which I really shouldn't.

After that little back story, my question(s) to the fellas is/are:

If you're no longer interested in a girl would you just stop talking to them and ignore them without warning, or a goodbye? Or would you let her know? How would you let a girl know you have lost interest in them?

AND...

How can I confirm if he is, indeed, interested in me or not, or if he's lost interest?

If you could help, thanks a bunch! Sorry this was a long ramble!

[Emiso]

SORRY, this might be a bit long but I'm in dire need of help and I figured the more background information I provide the more straightforward and knowledgeable the posts will be.

Hey, I got out of a serious relationship about 2 weeks ago with a boyfriend of over 2 years (the breakup was somewhat mutual.) At the moment, I really want to enjoy the single life, heck I haven't felt it in 2 years and I'm still young and I just want to experience my youth again rather than being in a commited relationship.

With that said, however I somewhat like a good friend of mine. Well, I'm not sure how I feel. I'm scared that I'm just using them for rebound and I would never want to do that to them because they are again a good friend of mine and I know it's way too early for me to get into a relationship, and to be honest I don't even feel lonely or anything. But the thing is, he kind of asked me out to go see a movie on friday. I said yes because I thought it would be nice to go outside and just hang out, but I'm worried I might be giving him the wrong impression.

I don't want to blow him off but at the same time I want to make it clear that I'm just going out with him as a friend and I really need space too. He got upset at me for spending more time with my gaming friends then him (I'm the type of person who plays video games to make myself feel better and forget painful memories. :c ) So..I dunno, I don't want to feel like I'm tied to him. I guess I want to feel free but at the same time maintain a healthy relationship with him.

And I have no idea how to tell him all of this without hurting him (or hurting him the least bit. :/ ) cause I know he likes me a lot but I want to explore other fishes in the sea too for awhile.

[Guest yunhotic]

Say you make eye contact with a girl for weeks and weeks but never talked to her.. Would it be awkward if suddenly you guys start talking? How would you handle that situation? (gah I know it sounds ridiculous...)

We work at the same place but not in the same department so even if I work all day I see him like.. 3 times?

[Guest dragonninja598000]

How would you feel if the girl confessed her feelings first to the guy she likes? Is it okay or should she just wait?

It's totally fine. The reason here that most people try not to be first is just because they don't want to get hurt. If you have no fear of getting hurt then by all means go first.

what do guys think / feel about when they find out a girl likes them, then their whole clique knows, then it begins to spread around the school?

i mean, the girl tried explaining herself earlier for a cover-up, but the guy just walked by while looking at her and ignored her completely. now the girl feels unsettled.

edit: the guy and girl don't know each other very well... only as much as each others names and the people they hang out with. they just met a few days after the beginning of school. oh and their whole group is weirdly in the girls block A every morning.. -.-

Awwww. I've seen this happen a few times. It sucks. It's a little shady that he's just ignoring the entire situation. I guess the girl should try to talk to him, but that might not be possible. In that case she's just gonna have to wait till everyone find some other news to nit pick at. Usually takes about a month before most people stop talking about it. The girl should make sure that she doesn't bring it up around other people once it blows over.

To confess, I think I'm falling for an absolute player, and I swore I wouldn't fall for him, because I know he's a player and have heard far too many people tell me how 'bad' he is because he has girls lined up for him. I am fully aware, and I know what I'm getting into. To make a long story short, he's always the one to text me first and he texts me every day...we were supposed to hang out on Saturday but his football game was rescheduled due to rain and was set to Saturday so we couldn't. Since Sunday, he had not texted me and it wasn't until Monday I found out he had lost his phone. He has expressed interest for me, but I'm not too sure I believe him? Anyway, the only other means of communication I have with him is facebook (his AIM doesn't work on his computer, and he doesn't go to my school), but on facebook he seems distant and different when we chat, to make matters worse I miss him, which I really shouldn't.

After that little back story, my question(s) to the fellas is/are:

If you're no longer interested in a girl would you just stop talking to them and ignore them without warning, or a goodbye? Or would you let her know? How would you let a girl know you have lost interest in them?

AND...

How can I confirm if he is, indeed, interested in me or not, or if he's lost interest?

If you could help, thanks a bunch! Sorry this was a long ramble!

I wouldn't. I'd probably stop for maybe a short period, but normally i'd want them as a friend so i'd try to build back the friendship. It's hard and a lot of times it doesn't work, but i try anyway. If i didn't like a girl any more then I would tell her because I wouldn't like to pretend things. You can't really confirm anything unless you ask him. Even the signs he maybe giving you are fake. There's no way to really know unless he tells you.

SORRY, this might be a bit long but I'm in dire need of help and I figured the more background information I provide the more straightforward and knowledgeable the posts will be.

Hey, I got out of a serious relationship about 2 weeks ago with a boyfriend of over 2 years (the breakup was somewhat mutual.) At the moment, I really want to enjoy the single life, heck I haven't felt it in 2 years and I'm still young and I just want to experience my youth again rather than being in a commited relationship.

With that said, however I somewhat like a good friend of mine. Well, I'm not sure how I feel. I'm scared that I'm just using them for rebound and I would never want to do that to them because they are again a good friend of mine and I know it's way too early for me to get into a relationship, and to be honest I don't even feel lonely or anything. But the thing is, he kind of asked me out to go see a movie on friday. I said yes because I thought it would be nice to go outside and just hang out, but I'm worried I might be giving him the wrong impression.

I don't want to blow him off but at the same time I want to make it clear that I'm just going out with him as a friend and I really need space too. He got upset at me for spending more time with my gaming friends then him (I'm the type of person who plays video games to make myself feel better and forget painful memories. :c ) So..I dunno, I don't want to feel like I'm tied to him. I guess I want to feel free but at the same time maintain a healthy relationship with him.

And I have no idea how to tell him all of this without hurting him (or hurting him the least bit. :/ ) cause I know he likes me a lot but I want to explore other fishes in the sea too for awhile.

Well that sucks. You should still go and just make sure that you draw the line. Don't beat around the bush with it. Just tell him flat out that you only see him as a friend and w.e. I guess you can flower it up to seem a lot nicer, but that should be your primary goal. If he likes you, no matter how you word this, his feeling will get hurt. =P

Say you make eye contact with a girl for weeks and weeks but never talked to her.. Would it be awkward if suddenly you guys start talking? How would you handle that situation? (gah I know it sounds ridiculous...)

We work at the same place but not in the same department so even if I work all day I see him like.. 3 times?

No. I'd make small talk and maybe ask her on a date or for her number. LOL.

[Guest Hot Fire Neko]

what do guys think / feel about when they find out a girl likes them, then their whole clique knows, then it begins to spread around the school?

i mean, the girl tried explaining herself earlier for a cover-up, but the guy just walked by while looking at her and ignored her completely. now the girl feels unsettled.

edit: the guy and girl don't know each other very well... only as much as each others names and the people they hang out with. they just met a few days after the beginning of school. oh and their whole group is weirdly in the girls block A every morning.. -.-

Depends on the guy. For alot of guys though, when we find out a girl we hardly know apparently has a crush on us, and our friends find out, naturally the friends want us to go talk to the girl, but most guys feel apprehensive about it because they know nothing about the girl and don't want to have an awkward moment by just walking up and approaching her about it. All the more reason girls need to be a bit more forceful every now and then with initiating contant with their crushes, rather than just liking em for afar and expecting something to happen. Guys can be shy too, especially hs guys.

To confess, I think I'm falling for an absolute player, and I swore I wouldn't fall for him, because I know he's a player and have heard far too many people tell me how 'bad' he is because he has girls lined up for him. I am fully aware, and I know what I'm getting into. To make a long story short, he's always the one to text me first and he texts me every day...we were supposed to hang out on Saturday but his football game was rescheduled due to rain and was set to Saturday so we couldn't. Since Sunday, he had not texted me and it wasn't until Monday I found out he had lost his phone. He has expressed interest for me, but I'm not too sure I believe him? Anyway, the only other means of communication I have with him is facebook (his AIM doesn't work on his computer, and he doesn't go to my school), but on facebook he seems distant and different when we chat, to make matters worse I miss him, which I really shouldn't.

After that little back story, my question(s) to the fellas is/are:

If you're no longer interested in a girl would you just stop talking to them and ignore them without warning, or a goodbye? Or would you let her know? How would you let a girl know you have lost interest in them?

AND...

How can I confirm if he is, indeed, interested in me or not, or if he's lost interest?

If you could help, thanks a bunch! Sorry this was a long ramble!

If im no longer interested in a girl, then yes, i'd simply stop going out of my way to initiate contact and let the action speak for itself. Being that neither of you have exactly openly expressed interest in the other, him just being like 'oh i dont really like you anymore' could possibly come off as him assuming too much, so there's no way in hell he'd do that. And as a general player would know, the easiest way to drop a girl is to cut off contact.

Want to know from a confirmed player if he's interested or not? Simply stop beating around the bush and ask him or get a friend to. Granted you might be feeding into his player interest a little, but he's not gonna be blindsided by the question if he's used to interacting with women. If he does, great. If he doesn't, at least you've confirmed it and can stop wondering about it.

SORRY, this might be a bit long but I'm in dire need of help and I figured the more background information I provide the more straightforward and knowledgeable the posts will be.

Hey, I got out of a serious relationship about 2 weeks ago with a boyfriend of over 2 years (the breakup was somewhat mutual.) At the moment, I really want to enjoy the single life, heck I haven't felt it in 2 years and I'm still young and I just want to experience my youth again rather than being in a commited relationship.

With that said, however I somewhat like a good friend of mine. Well, I'm not sure how I feel. I'm scared that I'm just using them for rebound and I would never want to do that to them because they are again a good friend of mine and I know it's way too early for me to get into a relationship, and to be honest I don't even feel lonely or anything. But the thing is, he kind of asked me out to go see a movie on friday. I said yes because I thought it would be nice to go outside and just hang out, but I'm worried I might be giving him the wrong impression.

I don't want to blow him off but at the same time I want to make it clear that I'm just going out with him as a friend and I really need space too. He got upset at me for spending more time with my gaming friends then him (I'm the type of person who plays video games to make myself feel better and forget painful memories. :c ) So..I dunno, I don't want to feel like I'm tied to him. I guess I want to feel free but at the same time maintain a healthy relationship with him.

And I have no idea how to tell him all of this without hurting him (or hurting him the least bit. :/ ) cause I know he likes me a lot but I want to explore other fishes in the sea too for awhile.

Fresh out of a long term relationship, you've got to imbed in your mind that you're tied down to no one. If a longtime friend that's liked you and now sees you as fair game tries to attach yourself to him, then it's your responsibility to kill that notion. Frankly, the easiest way to do this would be to just let it be known that this is just you two going out as friends, and kill any 'date' related things that could possibly go on that night. Pay for your own stuff, don't do any hand holding, etc. The message will come across itself without you ever having to bluntly say anything. Or simply invite another friend along, killing any potentials for it looking like a date in the first place.

You're fresh back in to the single life. Enjoy it with as little problematic occurrences as possible until you feel you're ready to look for a bf again.

Say you make eye contact with a girl for weeks and weeks but never talked to her.. Would it be awkward if suddenly you guys start talking? How would you handle that situation? (gah I know it sounds ridiculous...)

We work at the same place but not in the same department so even if I work all day I see him like.. 3 times?

Personally, nope. If i had been exchanging eye contact with someone for that long, i'd personally go out of my way to strike up random conversation with the person, whether it be about work, an interest I found, or simply just the noticing them noticing me. I'm pretty direct in that aspect.

For the shy ones of us out there, i'd just start out with a simple *i see you all the time here, but i've never actually introduced myself / gotten your name.* Open up the lines of casual conversation and such awkwardness will go away on its own.

[Guest Alisaur]

Do you guys think that I should confess to my parents that I'm going out with someone on the other side of the country?

I'm in a long distance relationship which isn't the easiest thing to do in the world.

My boyfriend's parents has some sort of idea that their son is going out with someone, but I don't think that my parents have a clue about this. Although our friends and my older sister knows about it. > <;

I've known him for 3 years and we're both pretty serious about this relationship. We plan on meeting over the summer sometime which would mean that we would have to somehow confess to our parents.

Would it be better to tell them earlier or later?

Thanks!

[Guest Gr4c13KiM1214]

so there's this guy in my school who would randomly come up to me and call me his "pet" i keep pushing him off but he keeps on doing it " and he even has a girlfriend who is also one of closest friends... is he using me to make her jealous? or is he trying to make my boyfriend jealous?

[RiderKamen]

Do you guys think that I should confess to my parents that I'm going out with someone on the other side of the country?

I'm in a long distance relationship which isn't the easiest thing to do in the world.

My boyfriend's parents has some sort of idea that their son is going out with someone, but I don't think that my parents have a clue about this. Although our friends and my older sister knows about it. > <;

I've known him for 3 years and we're both pretty serious about this relationship. We plan on meeting over the summer sometime which would mean that we would have to somehow confess to our parents.

Would it be better to tell them earlier or later?

Thanks!

YES. please tell your parents.

so there's this guy in my school who would randomly come up to me and call me his "pet" i keep pushing him off but he keeps on doing it " and he even has a girlfriend who is also one of closest friends... is he using me to make her jealous? or is he trying to make my boyfriend jealous?

Tell him if he ever call you another name, he's going to deal with the consequences (and please choose the best solution lol).

[nana.yahxd]

i had a question

well 2..

okay so this guy who i dated in the 8th grade we saw eachother for the first time in 6 years

and so he asked for my number which i gave him and now he texts me NON stop

and asked me out that same day couple of hours later.......

; i said no in a nice way now he wants to always talk on the phone and stuff like i keep avoid him

but he wont get the clue

what would be a good way to get him off my back?

and i have a friend who thinks she better then me

bc she had more bfs then i have and so on..but the thing i dont get is how?

im 169cm shes 150 barely im..average weight ...and well shes the same weight as me but difference in height

is alot..and ppl say i have a better personality

then how is it?! she has more bfs then i do!??!

[Guest I_play_with_dolls]

i had a question

well 2..

okay so this guy who i dated in the 8th grade we saw eachother for the first time in 6 years

and so he asked for my number which i gave him and now he texts me NON stop

and asked me out that same day couple of hours later.......

; i said no in a nice way now he wants to always talk on the phone and stuff like i keep avoid him

but he wont get the clue

what would be a good way to get him off my back?

Just tell him you're no longer interested and you guys just want to be friends . I mean unless you don't want to be friends witht he dude.

and i have a friend who thinks she better then me

bc she had more bfs then i have and so on..but the thing i dont get is how?

im 169cm shes 150 barely im..average weight ...and well shes the same weight as me but difference in height

is alot..and ppl say i have a better personality

then how is it?! she has more bfs then i do!??!

Just a question, the people that said you had a better personality, were the majority girls?

[nana.yahxd]

Just tell him you're no longer interested and you guys just want to be friends . I mean unless you don't want to be friends witht he dude.

Just a question, the people that said you had a better personality, were the majority girls?

LOL guys

even my guy friends wonder how she gets more?

but then again it might be bc of my style im really tomboyish O_____O;;

kinda like Park yong hees .....maybe thats why?

im afraid thats a big turn off for guys

[Guest I_play_with_dolls]

LOL guys

even my guy friends wonder how she gets more?

but then again it might be bc of my style im really tomboyish O_____O;;

kinda like Park yong hees .....maybe thats why?

im afraid thats a big turn off for guys

Really? If you're anything like Park Young Hee, that's really hot in my book.

Maybe the guys she has dated just like very feminine girls, a lot of times guys feel insecure about their masculanity so they avoid a tomboy. Or maybe the majority of guys surrounding you are just shallow and goes for a face they find attractive.

But I don't believe you should care of how many boyfriends she had, obviously since she had a lot, her relationships doesn't last very long.

The amount of boyfriends shouldn't matter, it's how long you've had a relationship with a person and how much you deeply care for eachother that should matter.