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Lovinyou615

To confess or not to confess?

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So.. I've talked about this guy (my crush) a long time ago.. and  still haven't done anything about it.
Basically, I like this guy who I'm quite close with. I really like him, but the thing is that he doesn't like me at all. He sees me as a good friend/ little sister. I can tell him anything and the same goes for him. Lately, these feeling are starting to build up and I'm getting quite tired about it.. I wanna tell him my feeling, but at the same time, I don't. Mostly because it won't lead to any results besides feeling relieved. Also, the chance is (and I know it will be) that we won't be as close as we used to be anymore if I tell him, since things will be awkward between us and I don't want to lose him, because I always lean on him when I'm having a hard time. 

Today, we're talking on Whatsapp and I was feeling kinda down... and he asked me why (well, obviously because of him.. lol).
I asked him the following question: ''If you like someone but that person doesn't like you, is it worth it to confess him your feelings?''
He asked me: '' You sure he doesn't like you?''
I answered: ''Yes''. 
He said: ''Then you shouldn't tell him, because it won't lead to any results. Unless you want to feel relieved. But otherwise, you shouldn't.''
I dunno what to do anymore.. and it's killing me..

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Honestly.. this happened to me and I just decided to move on because I didn't want to ruin the friendship and make it awkward bla blaIf you need him as a friend right now, keep him as a friend.

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Guest molamolafish

Some people say that in these situations, you should always confess and let it out, because you'll feel better and be able to move on with your life. I say that you should only do this if you are someone who can let go of people easily and who isn't bothered too much by rejection. But if you think you are going to be all sad after he rejects you, then you shouldn't confess, but instead just forget about him internally. 
Wasn't there a quote saying something like, "if you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours, if they don't they never were"?
Don't be sad, there will be tons of other guys :)

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Guest xmidnightblissx

I agree with molamolafish. You must consider what do you want out of the confession? Are you confessing because you want to get these feelings out of you. If so, you must be able to face the consequences of your choice. It he rejects you, you must be able to move on and hopefully, forget about him. You must be able to accept the possibility of pain and hurt. It might be a little awkward between you too as well.However, if he tell you that he likes you as well, where will you go from there? 
Based on your situation, I don't think you should confess. If you already know that he does not like you, you already have your answer. What good does it do if you told him? I understand that you would like him to acknowledge your feelings, but at what cost? Is this something worth risking for your friendship and going through the hurt? I seriously think that if your guy friend had feelings for you, he would have confessed to you already or would have attempted to find out who you like. Save the time, pain, and your friendship. I've been through this before. It's not worth it to confess. Just move on and forget about these feelings. And If he did liked you, let him be the man to confess, not you. If not, I advise you to not focus on just this one guy. There are plenty of other guys out there that will see your worth and you'll be drawn to.
I hope this helps. I apologize if I sound harsh, but I just don't want you to go waste your time and go through the pain for something that might never happened. As of now, I think you guys are better as friends, until he confess. You should just focus on other things besides him. You are a prized catch and don't let this one guy affect your feelings to the point where it impact your life so much. I know you guys are friends, but it might be best if you distant yourself from him a little to get over these feelings. Trust me, you will be begin to see much more and worry less from there on. 
Good luck. 




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Guest atarie

I don't agree with these guys. I think you should tell him. Yes it may make the situation weird and you may drift apart but tbh if he's the type of person to let something like this make your relationship weird then maybe he's not as good a guy as you think he is. You honestly won't ever know 100% what he thinks unless you tell him. Perhaps the odds aren't in your favor (see what i did there ^__o) lol anyways but there's a reason why this crush is bugging you and keeping silent is eating away at you even if you already know the answer you'll get. You have two choices

1. tell him and risk your friendship but know 100% how he feels about you and yes you will get hurt (and it will hurt for a while. perhaps a long while) but at least you'll have your answer and be able to move on. Drifting apart maybe a good thing for you though. It'll teach you to trust more people and make new friends.

2. Keep it in and save your "friendship" but never know for sure if he ever did like you as well. You'll forever wonder and think "What if". You may even have to keep telling yourself the lie that you don't like him until it becomes a reality to you and you get over him. All for the sake of friendship. Keep in mind that through all this the nagging feeling of your one-sided like will probably stick with you til you get over him OR he finds a girlfriend. (Sorry it's the cold hard sad truth)

But i'm a believer in NO REGRETS. And I really think keeping your feelings in will only result in the death of them through slow painful agony or a tortured soul. Just do what you can live with I suppose. BIG RISK BIG REWARDS.

DISCLAIMER: I take not responsibility for broken hearts. Just friendly advice. Choice is yours. :)

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I don't know why you asked him that stupid question. It seems like you wanted to "test" him in some way. Or you wanted pity, Well I don't know, it looks like this situation got the best of your emotions. Anyway, whatever he replied to that question, don't worry about it.
As for your question, you should definitely tell him. Unless he has blatantly friend zoned you, the glass is half full, the wise optimist in me would say, why not go for it? You never know if it could work out. Only one way to find out really. That's why I didn't like the question you asked him, if you like this guy, why not just say it? If you are afraid of being rejected, or being hurt, or whatever it is that you're afraid of, how are you ever going to ask anyone or tell anyone about your feelings before you're sure that the other person likes you. Are you going to miss out on valuable moments in life due to your self-generated fears? Or are you going to perform and get results? Up to you to decide but like I said, I would definitely tell him. Definitely. In a new york minute.

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Guest mystiquex3

You probably shouldn't waste your time because chances are, you aren't going to get anything out of it.

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@atarie: Yes that's true.. keeping these feelings now are killing me.. But on the other side I just feel that the confession won't lead to any results besides an awkward friendship and the lost of a close friend :(

@flysolo.: I dunno why I asked that question too :( Maybe I felt desperate..

I just.. I dunno.. Now at the moment I feel like: 'why would I confess? He doesn't even like me. Why hurt yourself even more?'

And I'm 100% convinced he doesn't like me.. Like.. We've hung out for several times now.. and he just treats me like a friend. The only thing I got was a handshake (when it was my bday) and he always gives me a brofist when we meet to hang out.

Even his sister thinks I like him.. but he just denies it.

I think he has a kinda feeling that I like him.. but I just feel that he's denying it :(

Since we have known each other for a long time now I know what kind of person he is.. He is that type of guy who will make his move when he likes someone.. And a couple of months ago he even talked with me about some girls he has been flirting with (he tells me evetything).. It honestly hurted me quite bad.

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i honestly would never have the balls to confess to a guy i like unless I'm 100% sure he likes me >___<….

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Just Do It. What's the worst that could happen? He'll be too sissy to ever talk to you again?

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Guest nana544

Don't. Save yourself the heartbreak. It sounds you know your own answer already.

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Well if you already made the decision not to ask why are you asking for advice at all

Why am I asking for advice? Because i just don't- know- what- to- do.. that's why. I feel like I'm splitting myself into two pieces.. On one side I wanna tell him but on the other side I don't.

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You know what to do. You already made up your mind not to confess when suggested to do so.

You want him but you're not going to confess. So you ask him indirect questions to assure yourself. It sounds like you're completely new to relationships.

So what should you do? If you don't want to confess, then move on. If you don't want to move on then confess. You will get your answer there.

You're just running around in circles. Make up your mind. The more you run around in circles the more this whole situation gets awkward. You already asked him that weird question, don't get personal with it. Either confess or don't. Yes or no. No need for anything in between

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Guest alphaoxytocin

If you are SURE that he doesn't like you, then it probably is true. People are generally accurate in reading both verbal and non-verbal cues in communication. If over time the impression you got that he doesn't like you that way is NOT AMBIGUOUS, then you know the answer and it's best to try and move on. Otherwise, gather up your courage and confront him about it. Good luck and remember to be yourself!

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hmm why don't u try and find out? :)

i was like u before too, i like this friend of mine and asked him almost the same question, but i didn't confess...i admit, i'm too chicken to take rejection! lol and i know it will be too awkward after i confess then he'll just reject me...
but that's just me....

if u really REALLY like him, then why don't u try?
if ur willing to take risk, and are not afraid of rejection, then try to confess!
u don't wanna regret not having to confess to him in the future right? (maybe....maybe he feels the same too!, but u will never know unless u try and ask him how he feels.)

:D
goodluck!

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If you're sure that he doesn't like you back, then you need to move on. There is no point continuing to like someone if it's clear they do not want to go out with you. It's just going to make you sad because you like him but he doesn't like you. There is nothing positive about staying in that state, it'll just make your mood low all the time and just make you sad randomly/constantly.

When you try to move on, I personally think no contact is the best way to get over someone. It's just hard to get over someone if you keep seeing their photos and talk to them because it will remind you that you still like them and make you sad again.

Just occupy yourself with stuff to do, pick up a new hobby that you always wanted to do but never did. Hang out with friends more, meet new people, etc.

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JUST TELL HIM! 
It's best to let if off your chest than to carry the whole s**t with you.  You're just assuming too much and thinking too much. This is what every person goes through and they have regrets to it.  It doesn't seem as if you want to be in a relationship with him just a confession.  So confess, it won't hurt you. It's not like you're asking him out and he rejects you...let it be that easy and just confess.  A confession is just an expression, as to wanting a relationship and rejected is depression. -nosilla

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Guest atarie

thesteel said: If you're sure that he doesn't like you back, then you need to move on. There is no point continuing to like someone if it's clear they do not want to go out with you. It's just going to make you sad because you like him but he doesn't like you. There is nothing positive about staying in that state, it'll just make your mood low all the time and just make you sad randomly/constantly.

When you try to move on, I personally think no contact is the best way to get over someone. It's just hard to get over someone if you keep seeing their photos and talk to them because it will remind you that you still like them and make you sad again.

Just occupy yourself with stuff to do, pick up a new hobby that you always wanted to do but never did. Hang out with friends more, meet new people, etc.

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Guest Liz M

I was in the same situation...four days ago. At the end, I confessed.
I had been wondering what do for more than a year. I understand that urge you feel to confess, like wanting him to know that you liked/loved him because you don't want to feel that way by yourself. But of course there is always that side that tells you "He will know my feelings, then what? Does the confession worth all of this?"
Before my confession I already knew nothing would change between us, not because we are too close, but because we haven't seen each other for a while. So it was like "go for it" or do nothing and stay the way everything is now. I didn't like that. Everyday I was wondering what to do, I felt anxious because I was doing nothing. One of the reasons I decided to do that was relief. As almost everyone said before, the only thing that surely changes is the feel of relief. So I took courage and sent him a letter, not expecting a reply. 
As for now, I don't regret it and I certainly feel relieved. I'm happy because I don't have those anxiety feelings of "what if" or those "I want him to know my feelings" thoughts. This might sound exaggerated, but I feel free. As for the move on part, I don't know. Somehow I still have my hopes up, especially because I know I'll see him again, and because this confession has changed my perspective of the situation.
I think you should ask yourself what do you want...and not based in a "relationship" or him, but in yourself. 

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