Once a cheater, always a cheater...

[Roasty]

I was having a discussion with some friends recently.  One of our major topics was around the statement "Once a cheater, always a cheater".  There were some mixed opinions among my friends regarding this, some friends believed it to be true, others did not.
I've known people, who were the cheater, who were the one being cheated on and also who were the third party.  I've seen and heard from all sides.
But I've always wondered, can a person change, can trust be restored, what is considered cheating, what is the line which is crossed to make it cheating?
What do you all think?
Oh, my personal opinion is EVERYONE has a potential to cheat, but it is the action they take which will define whether or not they are a cheater. I do believe that once a cheater, always a cheater cause I believe if a person has a lack of control once, whats keeping them from losing that control and doing it all over again.

[onetuthreefour]

You don't just trip and fall into a vagina/onto a penis.

[raymondc27]

True say I believe in that statement also. Its like the saying once trust is broken its broken

[Guest phalken]

I agree that every person has the potential to cheat, and it's your decisions determine if you're a cheater or not. Which means I see it as ignorant if people judge someone's potential to cheat from their personality (like "she's such a nice person she would never cheat" or "she likes hooking up so if she ever had a real bf she'd definitely cheat". Both are unfair and ignorant.) The fact is you never know because cheating usually boils down to one single choice, and anyone can make the wrong choice.
That said, I do believe "once a cheater always a cheater' is generally correct. Psychologically, it's a lot easier to make a decision to do something once we've already done it before, and the fact that it's occurred before means that person is already inclined to make that choice. The only exception I can see is if someone used to cheat only because of some destructive behavior (drugs, excessive drinking) but they've since completely cut out that habit. And I mean COMPLETELY-- they've gone completely clean from drugs and never get drunk anymore. Unfortunately (esp with alcohol), that's rarely the case :/

[MiDnite89]

It's not cheating if she doesn't find out. I think.

[Guest nana544]

I believe in that concept too. The action of someone is the outcome of their behavior. 

[Guest odangitsyang]

i think it's harder for people not to cheat after they've done it once. i talked to one of my friends about it.. and i think she really does regret cheating, but at the same time when she was presented with the opportunity to cheat again, it was hard for her to say no. 
i don't think that one action determines a person's decisions for the rest of their life, but at the same time it does influence them.

[Guest Affection]

Oh, my personal opinion is EVERYONE has a potential to cheat, but it is the action they take which will define whether or not they are a cheater. I do believe that once a cheater, always a cheater cause I believe if a person has a lack of control once, whats keeping them from losing that control and doing it all over again.

[~ BunnyliciouS ~]

Some people cheat because they like to do it.Others don't mean it, it just happens. If he cheater has good conscience, he/she won't do it again.

[Guest jammer25]

If someone in a committed relationship cheats, there is no going back in my opinion.

There is something to be said about sticking to one's commitment and honoring the trust an S/O puts in you - why should there be any mulligans for these things? Doing so only cheapens the concept in my opinion.

A cheater's word would carry no weight to me, and pretty much all trust would disappear. "Good people make mistakes" misses the significance of breaking one's trust, and only serves as a romanticized excuse.

[Guest HERMIT]

onetuthreefour said: You don't just trip and fall into a vagina/onto a penis.

[Ninshark]

the girl I was "dating" just recently who was cheating on her bf with me I believe will always be a cheater, until she gets married and stops being long distance. Someone like her, it's because of her need for attention + lack of self-control. In that case, either she's going to find someone else now that I'm done with her, or she'll find someone when she goes back to China. (likely the same guy she cheated on her bf before with a couple yrs ago). it's not about her being a cheater, just the qualities that made her cheat were there and still exist and the temptation is still there, so she prob still will.

[Guest phalken]

daisylove said: In my opinion,I believe everyone cheated somebody else ever before,sometimes we must cheat somebody,but it is not mean we will cheat them always.

[azurette]

Ninshark said: the girl I was "dating" just recently who was cheating on her bf with me I believe will always be a cheater, until she gets married and stops being long distance. Someone like her, it's because of her need for attention + lack of self-control. In that case, either she's going to find someone else now that I'm done with her, or she'll find someone when she goes back to China. (likely the same guy she cheated on her bf before with a couple yrs ago). it's not about her being a cheater, just the qualities that made her cheat were there and still exist and the temptation is still there, so she prob still will.

[Guest queenblia]

I don't believe that someone will be a cheater forever but I do believe that those who do treat will be more likely to cheat again and more often than those who did not/never cheated before. If someone who proclaimed to have "loved" you went and cheated on you, what's to say they won't do it again? And even then, if I was the "other" woman, I would be even more worried having witnessed that someone who claimed to have been so in love could betray and deceive someone so easily. If they could do it to that other girl, chances are they're gonna do that to you too when someone prettier or smarter or whatever better comes along. And that's already a toxic foundation to build a relationship on. The other woman would probably always be so paranoid of having karma come back for her that she unconsciously pushes the guy away from not having enough trust, etc. and he'd inevitably cheat again to escape from the incessant nagging. But anyways, I guess it really does depend on the person as well. Grown adults in their 50s have been known to cheat on their spouses. Seems like cheating could happen anywhere, any time. Just because I'm a hopeless romantic, I'd like to make myself believe that everyone else really does want a happy ending. But I'm also a realistic person and I would definitely be wary of a possible suitor if I knew that somewhere along his past, he had cheated. I don't know, it's just me personally but I would never get close to even dating someone if they cheated on their exes.

[Guest rjkgr]

i believe everyone deserves a second chance but their are limits! like i mean there are no excuses! also when you dont admit or step up to your mistake, you are a coward and just hurting the other person so that person doesnt deserve a second chance! sorry if this is contradicting 

[Guest tryaccessories]

Yep, everyone has a tendency to cheat and if there is no self-control, they'll start cheating but everyone deserves a second chance if both parties still want to make things work.

If you're the one making a mistake, you'd like to be forgiven as well right? Just have to make sure you don't repeat the same mistake again.

[Guest tony83]

Depends on the person if they will remain a cheater or not, that doesn't apply to all that you will forever be a cheater. Some people actually learn from the experience of cheating even though its something wrong and have better relationships afterward. 

[Guest Mentor]

esapele said: I was having a discussion with some friends recently.  One of our major topics was around the statement "Once a cheater, always a cheater".  There were some mixed opinions among my friends regarding this, some friends believed it to be true, others did not.
I've known people, who were the cheater, who were the one being cheated on and also who were the third party.  I've seen and heard from all sides.
But I've always wondered, can a person change, can trust be restored, what is considered cheating, what is the line which is crossed to make it cheating?
What do you all think?
Oh, my personal opinion is EVERYONE has a potential to cheat, but it is the action they take which will define whether or not they are a cheater. I do believe that once a cheater, always a cheater cause I believe if a person has a lack of control once, whats keeping them from losing that control and doing it all over again.

[Guest achong]

esapele said: I was having a discussion with some friends recently.  One of our major topics was around the statement "Once a cheater, always a cheater".  There were some mixed opinions among my friends regarding this, some friends believed it to be true, others did not.
I've known people, who were the cheater, who were the one being cheated on and also who were the third party.  I've seen and heard from all sides.
But I've always wondered, can a person change, can trust be restored, what is considered cheating, what is the line which is crossed to make it cheating?
What do you all think?
Oh, my personal opinion is EVERYONE has a potential to cheat, but it is the action they take which will define whether or not they are a cheater. I do believe that once a cheater, always a cheater cause I believe if a person has a lack of control once, whats keeping them from losing that control and doing it all over again.