Problem With "forgetful" Girlfriend

[Guest LUVSSOURCREAM]

i am forgetful............but i would NEVER forget the birthday of the love one of my life.

no matter how busy school is, or my social life.

i would say break up with her. you tried. things stayed the same. her words don't mean anything.

you keep getting dissapointed. seriously, what's the point anymore?

she made promises during arguments that are quickly forgotten.

she comes up with excuses to say 'well i didn't say i could for sure'

seriously.......who wants to be in a relationship with that?

i just feel you could do so much better, and enough making excuses for her, saying that she's inexperienced with relationships. you're teaching her that it's okay to forget your birthday because things will always be fine.

[Guest Tried and True]

That's a bunch of BS. Your gf is the exact replica of my ex. All in the glory of carelessness and birthday forgetfulness. We were long distance on my birthday and he forgot it as well (though he bought me a present a month before when we weren't LDR). Was I as nice and forgiving as you were? No, and especially since he didn't even offer to make anything up for it.

This is an incompatibility issue. Her carelessness isn't going to change. She's the type who will promise whatever just so she can make you happy again only to disappoint you later when she can't fulfill that promise. Then, you confront her about it and she'll apologize, putting the blame on herself though I honestly don't believe she thinks she's at fault. Someone who really believes they're at fault and is wanting to put efforts to make things work will do something to prove it to you (aside from all those empty promises). A person is only as good as their actions. Words are meaningless and a bunch of BS. It's nice you're giving her the benefit of the doubt, but I say you're just blindlessly in love. You wouldn't have given her a second chance if you weren't so in love with her. Give yourself a good slap and maybe that'll wake you up. Or you can just sit through all her empty promises and disappointment, and one day you'll just snap out of it yourself. I learned the hard way.

I think that really opened up my eyes, and you're right about every point. I even told her before that her telling me she loves me doesn't mean much if her actions don't show it. But like usual she says she will then show it more, which like you said just turn into empty promises. And she really doesn't think she's at fault sometimes, she would say I have "high expectations" and that she can never meet them. I don't think I have high expectations at all, the only thing I have ever asked was to a spend a very reasonable amount of time together. And I guess I really was blindly in love, but for every mistake she makes I just begin to love her less and less. At this point, I think I'll be better off without this disappointment.

Everyone else is right too, thanks for your responses.

[Guest rawr_sheila]

you seem like a good bf

do you really like her?

is she losing interest in you?

if she really liked you, she wouldn't forget about you and she would make some time for you

[Guest]

I'm not that irresponsible with my words to say just dump her but in this case she really is not being a girlfriend. I can't imagine how mad I would be if my girlfriend would forget mine but then again, you guys only have been going out for 1 year so it takes some time getting use to. However, about that Sunday plan, she definitely did not have you in mind when she said okay to the plans. You definitely have the right to be mad. Girls will get defensive in this state but don't fall for their tricks. If you guys break up, don't worry. Men's value go up with age. Women's value go down with age. She'll come back to you.

[Guest LUVSSOURCREAM]

If you guys break up, don't worry. Men's value go up with age. Women's value go down with age. She'll come back to you.

seriously kid how old are you??

just know that not everything TV teaches you is real, ok kid?

[Guest constipates]

You know what, that's how a lot of people end up being stuck in an abusive marriage. I know, I know, you might think that I'm off-tangent, but it relates to you somehow. It's like when some people marry to their wonderful significant other, then ends up getting beat after marriage. Then, they don't do anything about it for 10 years always hoping that someday things will go back to normal, because they love the other person so much.

You're still young, you don't have to endure something you don't have to endure.

[GOOMBA]

She's bored of you.

She's taking you for granted.

Dump her richard simmons.

[Guest lilangelover]

mmhh even if she's busy with school and her friends if she really cares about you and your relationship at all she will try and make an effort to keep it going. i know college will make you super busy and stuff but if she really wants to this work i'm sure she'll be able to make time for you no matter how hard. it's one thing to forget a birthday but if she made plans with you to make up for it and then forget it that's messed up. she should have been planning what she was going to do with YOU that upcoming sunday instead of other plans.

[Guest <3 Kim]

If she forgot your birthday that's really bad. I'd say talk to her about it, and give her the hint you are going to dump her. THen maybe she might realise what she's been doing to you. If she doesnt and still keeps going on like this, then dump her

[Guest]

seriously kid how old are you??

just know that not everything TV teaches you is real, ok kid?

Men's value go up with age because they make more money.

Women, on the other hand, will have looks until a certain age.

And don't ever call me kid again! If you have no idea about my age, then why don't you move your lazy finger and click on my profile.

[Guest pencil_geeks*]

Let her go.

She obviously don't think you're important if she's forgotten your bday, promises you she'll make up another day and forgets it and makes plans over it. The fact that she acts like it's nothing planning over plans with you should show you how much she really cares. "There's exceptions" does not cut it.

If she cared and she knew she was forgetful, she would've wrote "THE BOYFRIEND'S BDAY!" on a calendar with a circle or heart around it.

[Guest GreenTeaSparkles]

i hate people like that. dump her. First, she forgot your birthday. Then she promised to make up for it, and forgot about it?? That's like a huge double negative. Jeez, get rid of her.

[Guest jbigdog123]

If you guys break up, don't worry. Men's value go up with age. Women's value go down with age. She'll come back to you.

This is one of the most retarded thing I've heard of. First of all, not all men are successful, therefore, their value doesn't always go up and women can be just as successful as men.

But relationship isn't about value, it's love for each other, caring for each other, giving all of yourself for your SO...etc

[Guest GreenTeaSparkles]

Men's value go up with age because they make more money.

Women, on the other hand, will have looks until a certain age.

And don't ever call me kid again! If you have no idea about my age, then why don't you move your lazy finger and click on my profile.

i think he meant your mentality is like a kid. Whatever happened to personality?

[Guest hyunjungee]

I know she still is interested, so that's not really the issue. Nothing about her changed besides the fact that she has developed this "forgetting" problem. Then again would someone who cares a lot always "forget" so easily? And I know she doesn't do it on purpose, because like I said she is really sad she keeps doing it. She also cries every time she seems to disappoint me

Yeahhh, I've told her I'm just about at my limit with her. She would then apologize like usual and say she will try not disappointing me all the time. I ask her how she's gonna try and do that, but she doesn't know =/

crying? does that really mean anything?

im not calling your gf a liar (which i think she might be)

but usually crying is an easy way to get out of something

crying makes usually the guy's heart wimp out

(im sure your not a wimp, your just in love)

but sometimes crying doesn't mean anything....

especially if nothing changes in the end then it was jsut a show

[Guest twig*star]

She's messing up because she knows her actions don't have consequences.

Seriously maybe you guys need a break ......

[edit] agree with hyunjungee . I can cry on cue ...... T_T .

[Guest Tried and True]

So far, I've copied and pasted everyone's response and opinion to her. Because I know she's the type who would have to hear other's people's perspective before she really knows she's wrong. And her response?

"i guess this means we're done.."

"i dont want to hurt you anymore "

"now i know i reallllllllllllllllllllllllllllllly don't deserve you"

"i can't disappiont you anymore, i can't take it"

"you will find a girl that will definently take care of you, much much MUCH better than me. she will also be there for you, unlike me...and she will most certaintly not forget your birthday, like i did. i am truly sorry for all the mistakes ive done, forgetting your birthday, forgetting the makeup day, all this pain i have given you, just everything. most of the arguments we have is always my fault"

"so that just proves that i am a bad girlfriend. you deserve a lot better, and i really mean it"

"you are such a perfect boyfriend, always forgiving me, taking care of me, being there for me 24/7"

"i dont think i will ever find anyone who will be perfect like you"

"but i guess it's time for me to let go, and stop being selfish. let you have your happiness because apparently i cannot give you any."

"i cant even say that im trying hard to make you happy because the reasons show that i'm not trying hard...my god im so horrible"

"i can seriously say i messed up. and making all these mistakes, forgetting ur birthday will be the biggest regret i will never forget. and i'm not just saying that "

"don't forgive me, because i know u shouldnt forgive me"

So I guess I'll be ending it soon.... thank you for everyone's replies so far.

[Guest webmagine]

Good to see you made the right choice. Let us know how it pans out.

[Guest sidney]

it sounds to me like she's willing to let this go and doesn't care to fight for it...but at the same time she doesn't want to appear like a bad person to you so she keeps apologizing over and over and say crap like "you deserve someone better" blah blah.....eh

[Guest Jamila]

it sounds to me like she's willing to let this go and doesn't care to fight for it...but at the same time she doesn't want to appear like a bad person to you so she keeps apologizing over and over and say crap like "you deserve someone better" blah blah.....eh

I agree... =_=