Ask The Ladies - Read First Post

[Guest Memories]

^It could be anything. Why don't you ask him nicely why he's less talkative than before and if something might still be bothering him. This would open up the issue to him without being too accusatory of his actions.

[Guest mod-fied]

There is this girl I am attracted to. I know all girls are different and I am really clueless when it comes to seeing if a girl returns my attempts at flirting or has feelings for me. Anyways, I`ve been talking to this girl and we can converse pretty well however there are times where I have to break the silence. She sometimes starts a conversation but its usually me. Maybe cause we still don`t know each other pretty well or maybe cause she is older than me and more mature haha. Plus she always replies to my text. 

So I guess what I am asking for is some insight. I was planning to let her know and treat her as if she was an older sister to me so she can drop that ¨what if he likes me¨ suspicion.  Once we get really close, I would then plan to confess to her. Is this a good idea? bad idea? What should I do.. D:

 If you two haven't been talking or are just getting to know each other, it's bound to be a bit awkward at the beginning, and I know most girls like when guys start the conversations. In fact, if I'm just getting to know a person, and they constantly start the conversation, I always wait for them to start the conversations when we're not talking, and after we get closer and closer, I find it much less /weird, I suppose/ to start conversations much more often. but it's a really good sign that she texts back!

The older sister route is a very, very tricky and confusing thing to utilize, so I really don't think it's the best way to go. Since her suspicion is correct and since you are planning on confessing to her in the future, you should probably not take that route. Instead, just work on becoming one of her really good friends; an attraction may build, and you won't be completely "brother zoned" like you would if you told her that you viewed her just as an older sister.

Does it mean anything when girls use emo cons in text messages? Or am I over analyzing it.

Most girls I know use emoticons in almost all their text messages, so you're most likely over analyzing

nobody's responded to my question so far, probably because it's on the previous page. some input please?

there's this guy i'm really close friends with and we've known each other for over 9 years, but we're not the kind of friends who hang out a lot. we never hang out just to enjoy some time with each other. we talk online a lot, and he always makes my day and makes me laugh. the last couple times we hung out, i noticed that when i'm around him, i don't feel extremely nervous or have butterflies in my stomach. i know that sounds kind of silly, but isn't that how you tell that you like someone? when i look at him, i don't think, "wow. i really like this guy." but the weird thing is that i think about him all the time, and the thought that he doesn't like me makes me really unhappy. whenever we have to part ways, i just feel this overwhelming sadness and miss him a lot, especially because i don't know when i'd get to see him again.

i talked to my friend about this and she thinks i'm infatuated with him. she thinks i like the idea of him being my bf, but don't actually like the guy. what do you guys think? what exactly does being infatuated mean?

Speaking from recent personal experience, when I like a guy, there are some things that stay consistent:

1. I love talking/hanging out with him. I check for the little green dot next to his name on Facebook or G-chat or Skype. Just talking to him makes me happy.

2. When we aren't talking, I miss him.

3. I think about him all the time, and little things throughout the day will remind me of him. I'll always want to mention him in conversations I have with friends (ex. "Oh, that's ______'s favorite movie! We were talking about that last night!)

4. I get jealous if I see him flirting with other girls.

Because most of the guys I've liked have gone from close friend status to significant other, I never felt really nervous or had butterflies either by just being around them, although I do become more aware of their presence, I guess. However, if he flirts with you and you really don't feel anything, that's a sign that it's more platonic than anything.

Google definitions defines infatuation as "a foolish and usually extravagant passion or love or admiration"; you honestly do not sound infatuated to me. Infatuation is more like "I KNOW IT'S ONLY BEEN A WEEK SINCE WE'VE STARTED DATING, BUT I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND SO MUCH <33333 I WOULD DIE WITHOUT HIM. HE IS MY EVERYTHING. WE ARE GOING TO GET MARRIED, HATERS GOING TO HATE, IDC IF WE'RE ONLY 9TH GRADERS". Liking the idea of having a boyfriend vs. actually liking the boy is a bit trickier to figure out, but honestly, it's something you figure out through time and memories with that person.

It honestly seems like you like him, and even having to think about whether or not you like him may be a sign that you actually do like him. I hope this helps~!

[Guest OohHarry]

If a girl sitting a row in front of you in a lecture constantly turns around to look at you does it mean she's interested? On certain days she'll walk pass me and smile, is that strange or is it something some girls do? We've eyed each other for months, but she hasn't made any advances obvious advances. Does she expect me to make a move first?

[wengfrecrixs]

what meant not officially bf ? 

[Guest Cloud Expert]

If a girl sitting a row in front of you in a lecture constantly turns around to look at you does it mean she's interested? On certain days she'll walk pass me and smile, is that strange or is it something some girls do? We've eyed each other for months, but she hasn't made any advances obvious advances. Does she expect me to make a move first?

Depends. She could be or maybe her friend likes you. You really can't tell for sure. Perhaps she's just too shy to introduce herself first. Only way to find out is to take action! Ask the heavens for a blessing and go forth!

[mintcracker]

^ yeah either she's interested or she's checking you out for her friend. But I'd say there's a strong chance she's interested, so go say sth to her if you want to get to know her too.

[tamaneko]

If a girl sitting a row in front of you in a lecture constantly turns around to look at you does it mean she's interested? On certain days she'll walk pass me and smile, is that strange or is it something some girls do? We've eyed each other for months, but she hasn't made any advances obvious advances. Does she expect me to make a move first?

I think she's waiting for you to make the first move. It doesn't hurt to casually talk to her and take action yourself ^^

[Guest happygolucky]

Hi gals, I posted this on the guy's thread, but I want your opinions as well. I've been seeing this guy for about a month and found that he just got out of a 4 year relationship about 2-3 months ago. Apparently they mutually agreed on breaking up and are still good friends. When we first started seeing each other, he would text me everyday throughout the day, but now he doesn't text me as much. He still calls me every once in a while, but doesn't bother making plan with me and whenever I do he's been pushing our dates back and rescheduling. On his facebook, I can see pictures of him tagged with his ex and now I'm beginning to think he's losing interest. What are your opinions and advices you can give me?

[Guest o________O]

If you normally buy snacks/drinks for yourself and your gf when you're hanging out, should you be doing the same if it's one of those "I'm going to introduce you to my best friend" kind of days?

Hypothetically, I'm with my gf and her best/close friend is here with us and I get thirsty, normally if I'm going to get myself a drink, I would ask her if she wanted anything (when it's just the two of us). But in this scenario, should I be asking her friend too?

Thank you!

[Guest sallyen]

^ Yes, you should be asking her friend too :-)

[theninthtrack]

If you normally buy snacks/drinks for yourself and your gf when you're hanging out, should you be doing the same if it's one of those "I'm going to introduce you to my best friend" kind of days?

Hypothetically, I'm with my gf and her best/close friend is here with us and I get thirsty, normally if I'm going to get myself a drink, I would ask her if she wanted anything (when it's just the two of us). But in this scenario, should I be asking her friend too?

Thank you!

Yes! Isn't that obvious though?

Girls tend to look at these things (well, my friends and I do anyways). If she's introducing you to her best friend, that means that the best friend will be observing you and it also means that your gf will see how you treat her friend. When you're with the three of you, make sure to not let the friend feel left out. When you go get a drink or whatever and ask your gf what she wants, you ask what her best friend wants because it shows that you have manners and are considerate. Not asking may come off as rude to some girls even if you didn't mean to.

[Guest zoomlo85]

I want some perspective.

If you were interested in a guy, would you be ok with him dating several girls and he tells you about it?

Why would she introduce you as her boyfriend after 4-5 dates? Does it mean she wants exclusive relationship?

Also what if i said, im still single. Will she be upset about that?

[Guest o________O]

Yes! Isn't that obvious though?

Girls tend to look at these things (well, my friends and I do anyways). If she's introducing you to her best friend, that means that the best friend will be observing you and it also means that your gf will see how you treat her friend. When you're with the three of you, make sure to not let the friend feel left out. When you go get a drink or whatever and ask your gf what she wants, you ask what her best friend wants because it shows that you have manners and are considerate. Not asking may come off as rude to some girls even if you didn't mean to.

I actually thought about it just as I finished posting and realised it was pretty obvious but ehh.. too lazy to edit.

Ok, then how about something like lunch/dinner? If we all go out to eat together, assuming I'm paying for my gf, I'm guessing it'd be weird if I didn't pay for her friend too, right? Like you said, you wouldn't want to give off the vibe of leaving her out?

[Guest Fatalchange]

I want some perspective.

If you were interested in a guy, would you be ok with him dating several girls and he tells you about it?

Why would she introduce you as her boyfriend after 4-5 dates? Does it mean she wants exclusive relationship?

Also what if i said, im still single. Will she be upset about that?

Personally, yes, I would care. If he has his eyes set on several girls, then why would I bother wasting my time? Why should I be his second choice when I could be someone's first? He has other options, so I certainly can have the same.

She probably got the idea that you guys were actually in a relationshio? o-o I don't see why else she would say that. And if you're trying to clarify things, and you say it like that, then yes. She'll probably be upset. The statement is somewhat...rude afterall. Instead, you can just tell her, "I'm sorry if I made you misunderstand, but I don't really want to be in an exclusive relationship right now." It's up to you whether or not you want to inform her of your other relations.

[Guest bubblelicious_]

Hi Ladies~! I also posted this to the Fellas thread but I guess I would like your opinions too.

So I have this friend who works at the same place as me he is roughly twice my age. He asked me to go movies once and didn't ask my friend. Later on he said that the more he sees me the more he thinks how I'm such a great person and stuff. And recently he told me that he really cared about me more than he should sometimes and he finds some things I do cute. Sometimes we talk through text and he says that he doesn't mind if I contact him any time. But I don't contact him often, only once that wasn't work related. But he tells me what type of guys I should look for and asked me about my ex on the outing. Also sometimes we don't talk at work.....

I just want to know does he see me as a little sister? Or am I just over thinking?

[pervert]

Hi Ladies~! I also posted this to the Fellas thread but I guess I would like your opinions too.

So I have this friend who works at the same place as me he is roughly twice my age. He asked me to go movies once and didn't ask my friend. Later on he said that the more he sees me the more he thinks how I'm such a great person and stuff. And recently he told me that he really cared about me more than he should sometimes and he finds some things I do cute. Sometimes we talk through text and he says that he doesn't mind if I contact him any time. But I don't contact him often, only once that wasn't work related. But he tells me what type of guys I should look for and asked me about my ex on the outing. Also sometimes we don't talk at work.....

I just want to know does he see me as a little sister? Or am I just over thinking?

That's a strong indication that he's attracted to you. I don't think he sees you as his little sister. He probably doesn't talk to you at work much because he doesn't want to make it obvious to everyone that he's interested in you considering you're so much younger than him.

[Guest xsilentangel]

hi ladies,

i just hit 20 and realized that i still have a long way ahead of me, but i haven't had any dating experience. i've had 2 high school relationships but they were more like a closer friendship than a relationship. anyways, i'm deemed a "hopeless romantic" by my friends, since i refuse to date a guy simply for experience. a lot of guys have liked me before but i did not commit to a relationship because i don't just want "experience." my friends think i should date for merely experience and because it may lead to something that will open my eyes more to realistic relationships. what do you guys say? am i screwing myself over by shutting down guys and waiting for my "prince charming?"

[mintcracker]

^ What kind of things do you look for in a girl? Like do you hope to find a girl where you really click with and you have mutual understanding, or is it more like "she has to be *this* attractive and look *this* way"

Cos there's nothing wrong with waiting for something more real, but if you're discounting people cos of superficial reasons that's not very smart. Cos alot of the time the people we really get along with take time to get to know.

[Guest xsilentangel]

^ woops, i'm a girl! honestly, all my friends have such high standards for guys and i just don't. i just didn't want to be in a relationship with the guys that have liked/asked me out because i didn't find myself attracted to them. but now that i think about it, i honestly don't know what kind of guy i like. this is actually why my friends want me to dive into a relationship without knowing where i'm really headed. i just don't like the idea of that though. am i being superficial for eliminating these guys from my "mr.right" list without dating them simply because i don't feel the connection?

[Guest bubblelicious_]

Thank you pervert.

I was talking to him yesterday through text and I found out that he was sitting in his car texting me.... but I didn't reply straight away though. So it was weird to me because work finished at 8 and he went home like 2 hrs later..

Is there a line that shouldn't be crossed....?