Ask The Fellas

[Guest VanillaLace]

Really quick question!

I like my boyfriend, but have a hard time showing it, but he knows because of how much I blush when he brings it up, and is entertained by how much I blush.. =__=

Well, he's always been a bit of a flirt, and I knew this when we first started going out. I don't know what to think of it when I see him flirting with other girls, if that's just part of his nature.

Plus, there's this other girl, who I've been repeatedly told is the hottest girl in our grade [huge boobs, pretty face, not too fat, not too skinny, much prettier than I am, for I am a stick]. She is twice the ex of my boyfriend, and I know for a fact she doesn't like him at all anymore. But, they have a bunch of classes together, and I always see him with her, and catch her staring at her and flirting like no other. It literally drives me over the edge, because everyone else can see that they act like that, and I think she's too nice to discourage him, because she is a genuinely nice person.

So fellas, does he like this girl or not? What should I do? I get so frustrated and confused I start to distance myself from him, so yeah, what to do?

[tangledlove]

Bleh accidently reposted .><

[Guest chinaman_tsang]

Really quick question!

I like my boyfriend, but have a hard time showing it, but he knows because of how much I blush when he brings it up, and is entertained by how much I blush.. =__=

Well, he's always been a bit of a flirt, and I knew this when we first started going out. I don't know what to think of it when I see him flirting with other girls, if that's just part of his nature.

Plus, there's this other girl, who I've been repeatedly told is the hottest girl in our grade [huge boobs, pretty face, not too fat, not too skinny, much prettier than I am, for I am a stick]. She is twice the ex of my boyfriend, and I know for a fact she doesn't like him at all anymore. But, they have a bunch of classes together, and I always see him with her, and catch her staring at her and flirting like no other. It literally drives me over the edge, because everyone else can see that they act like that, and I think she's too nice to discourage him, because she is a genuinely nice person.

So fellas, does he like this girl or not? What should I do? I get so frustrated and confused I start to distance myself from him, so yeah, what to do?

I do not know but it sounds like they are just friends, you say your BF is a huge flirt anyways so it is normal. What you should depends on you, personally I think you just want a better grasp over your BF and because you are too shy to, you do not do so. BTW, its ok to blush, hes your BF, even if you turn green or something more weird he is your BF and he likes you the way you are, don't be scared. Also, spend more time with him, because the more you know someone the more you dont know. What I am trying to say is, you can never know a person enough, spending more time with him would allow you to become more comfortable with him, and he would reek the same benefits.

[Guest chinaman_tsang]

Is it distrust if my bf jumps or watches me like a hawk every time i touch his laptop or cellphone?

I know part of it was my mistake i made early in our relationship when i looked at his text messages without asking.

I apologized for it and never did it again. however we recently talked about back in the days where we crushed and

tried to pick up people online. I talked about how i still got messages from way back in the day that i forgot to delete

and talked about it gave names and everything. Very open about all of them.When I asked him about his people he

says theres some and why does it matter? did you look through my messages? i felt shocked that he accuse me of such

a thing when i don't even know the password to his fb. [he knows the password my fb]. its been two years and he even said

himself that i didn't do anything lately that related to "invasion of privacy" but he then said

"its the fact that you would look through my stuff without asking"

that is still stuck in his head about me. and also he always talks about how i have trust issues with him but he never confronted

this issue or admitted that he has trust issues with me as well. [about the phone/laptop]

i felt guilty ever since that one mistake and kept beating myself over about it. And i thought that after a year he would stop thinking

that way about me but i guess he doesn't. The way he acts about it makes me feel like no trust and sometimes gives me the idea

that he's trying to hide something when he gets jumpy/watches me like a hawk.

All I can say is, time will heal everything. You also must trust your boyfriend, it not like he broke your trust or anything and you probably would not like it if you read all of your text and emails. When ever you lose trust in a relationship, the result usually is bad. Have confidence in him and most importantly in yourself. If he is going to cheat on you, it is not going to matter if you read some or all of his messages he could always find a way around if he wants to.

[Guest chinaman_tsang]

What makes you guys out there consider a girl to be pretty?

Most girls think guys only go for the physical but it is not true, even though the media portrays it like that its really not even close to being true. A good personality would trump all those physical traits. Different men, like different things so I guess I can only speak for myself. I personally like confident girls, you can be the ugliest girl but still be confident. Just remember to be yourself and there will be someone out there who is the perfect fit for you.

[Guest chinaman_tsang]

What would motivate you (guys) to get up and approach a girl you didn't know in a public setting assuming you had some interest/attraction in her?

I'm sure we've all had that moment where we've spied someone eyecatching in the room and felt that little spark of interest, i'm just interested to hear what would be that motivating factor that would make you go and actually talk to her/make a move? (be it she smiled at you, you think she's interested in you, she was superhot, acted really cute, etcetc)

Well lets start on why guys don't approach girls as much as they should be, and that would be because of the fear of rejection. We see it on T.V. in pretty much every show, an average looking guy approaches a girl in public, they are deemed creeps and the girl becomes scared of the guy. While the main good looking character approaches the same girl and they are looked as upon the confident alpha male. That is what guys picture a lot before they approach girls. If you can some lower this aura around you, it would make you that much more 60% more approachable for sure. (Not a real stat but who cares!)

Now to answer the question, what would motivate a guy to ask a girl in public? Well firstly. the guy has to be interested, thats a given. Secondly, the girl would be have to approachable, say if you're kissing some other dude that would obviously mean that you belong with someone else etc... Also If the girl is with a bunch of people (guys and girls) would defiantly help, this shows that the girl has male friends and they would not scared of the guy or/and worst case they could become friends.

But really if girl is interested, a good way to start the conversation without really making the first move would be to approach the guy and ask a random question. This question could be something like "What time is it?" "When does the bus come?" (just think of something that will work in your setting) as this would act as a small ice breaker. After the guy answers your question then they could easily add a comment like "What book are you reading?" or "What are you listening to?"

[Guest chinaman_tsang]

Hi

So I have a crush on one of my coworkers (bad idea, I know...). I'm fairly new to the place but we got along real fast. He's been very sweet to me; always walking me to the subway (sometimes even taking the train with me even though he lives walking distance from our workplace), helping me out whenever he can, worrying abt my safety, etc. I haven't heard of or seen him doing these things with anyone else at work. We even went to get tea once outside of work, which was really nice and casual, but it was short because he had to be back on campus at a certain time (we're both college students, different schools). During this "hang-out", he did make comments implying that he wanted to do this again. We also talked about art for a while, so he wants me to take him to some galleries/museums.

He used to hit me up on FB for a chat once in a while, but other than that, he never really contacted me outside of work. However, whenever we're working together, he always asks me when I plan on taking him to those art galleries. I tell him whenever he wants, but he never sets a concrete date (could also be because whenever it reaches that point, someone comes and interrupts our conversation). He could, however, text me, right? I also owe him lunch/dinner because he covered for me once, and now he also brings that up...but he doesn't set a concrete date for that, either. The closest thing I got was sometime before he leaves for winter break.

I thought he sounded fairly interested at first...but then yesterday, I heard him talking to two of my other coworkers about some girl trouble he's having. It was clear enough that he wasn't talking about me. So, I'm just wondering if there's even a point to continue trying with this guy...I'm afraid that if we continue like this, my crush is going to grow, and ultimately, I just don't want to get rejected. What do you guys think?

First of all, relationships @ work isn't really that bad, dramas just make it look bad lol. The guy seems to be pretty decent, and you guys seem to be getting along well. He seemed to have laid a good foundation in your relationship and you didn't formally reply. He might have thought that you were not interested, he asked you out to the museums, lunches and started a few conversations with you and really didn't do much. This probably raised a lot of red flags for him, why don't you start the conversation or you ask him out for lunch? You owe him a meal and its quite awkward if he asked you the next meal as he probably would not to think that he wants his back. Even if you guys do get into a relationship, you can't just count on him to plan all these things, what happens if hes busy or sick? You got to give to get, plus its not like you are making the first move, he made the first move.

Joke around and text him out and ask if hes available for a meal or two. You do not have to plan a special time in the day just to text him, text him during break or when you are bored. We are scared of rejections, but the luxury of a girl is to have guys ask you out. Let the relationship grow a bit first, you may find out that hes much better as friend than anything more or maybe he will ask you out.

[Guest sweet_loveee]

If a guy who doesn't know you that well goes out of his way to talk to you while you're at the gym...does that mean he's slightly interested? I catch him staring at me and then he'll look away, and this one time he came over to make conversation =) but I was so "in the zone" that I unintentionally brushed him off =/

[Guest Whitegata]

Okay, idk why but I feel really stupid for asking such a weird question. Maybe it's obvious and it's just me imagining things to make myself happy but..

Yesterday I met a guy  (lets call him X) who I haven't seen for a very long time- like four month if not more. Last time we saw each other, he was the one chasing after me, flirting, kissing etc. And yesterday I was with some girlfriends and we met X and his friends. We hugged and said hi. Since I was such a coward I made my friend ask him if he had found an other girl (he is a huge flirt and could be considered player). He said that he wasn't together with anyone but he was "in the process " (like flirting a lot, not really dating though) with two girls in his new class. And then he said that one of my friends, that I was currently with, was cute.

We just laughed at him, that he hadn't changed, and then I said that I had to go because I had to meet a friend (I was going to a party so I was pretty nice dressed) . 

Then X asked why and who he was and I just said the name of my friend (lets call him Y). Then my friend told me to give Y a hug for her and then X said the same (as a joke). Then I left. 

Was X just having a nice convesation with some old friends or was he trying something more? Like impress/ make me jealous/ show off etc?

[Guest HERMIT]

Was X just having a nice convesation with some old friends or was he trying something more? Like impress/ make me jealous/ show off etc?

I would just shrug it off and think of it as nothing.  Like you said, this guy is flirty and somewhat considered a player.  For all you know, his actions during this encounter possibly doesn't mean a thing to him and is just status quo given his observed persona.

[Guest]

This Columbian guy has called me both a "pretty asian" and a cute asian". Anytime he compliments me he has to attach the word asian somewhere. I don't have ANYTHING against being called asian but I don't know what he means by that. :/ Does he mean that I'm cute FOR an asian (which would be pretty racist) or does he mean nothing by it? 

[Guest Kujo]

This Columbian guy has called me both a "pretty asian" and a cute asian". Anytime he compliments me he has to attach the word asian somewhere. I don't have ANYTHING against being called asian but I don't know what he means by that. :/ Does he mean that I'm cute FOR an asian (which would be pretty racist) or does he mean nothing by it? 

It could really be a lot of things:

-Maybe he just calls people by one of their qualities (Gay Bob, Fat Tony)

-He really digs Asians

-He doesn't really dig Asians and you're good looking for one

-Just cuz

[Guest ViVi.]

HI BOYS! wanted your opinion on a christmas gift for my boyfriend. he's a kid at heart and he loves toys so i'm debating between these two helicopters:

http://www.amazon.com/Viefly-Combat-Fighter-Control-Helicopters/dp/B0068QE394/ref=sr_1_13?s=toys-and-games&ie=UTF8&qid=1324177377&sr=1-13

http://www.amazon.com/Syma-S107-S107G-Helicopter-BLUE/dp/B003TVTPS0/ref=zg_bs_toys-and-games_7

apparently the first one can shoot infrared red lines at each other?? (Not sure..can anyone confirm?) and the second one has really good reviews. imo the first one seems fun to play with but the second one is less childish. which one would you boys want to receive? opinions appreciated ^__^

[Guest Sorara]

Would it be wrong to assume that if someone isn't contacting you (phone/txts/chat) then that person isn't interested?

He seemed pretty interested at first but I'm thinking he is losing interest because he isn't initiating contact-- well he did. Once, and since then nada. I'm always the one starting the convo first.

I find it weird. We were talking about a certain movie and he proposed lending it to me or that we could watch it together- and he also proposed doing other stuff together since we have common interests. But I always have to speak to him first before he proposes anything.

I'm assuming he's either shy (Which I doubt because he is a few years older than me, not that much but still) or not interested.

[Or I may be having a IYH (In Your Head) moment.]

[toriii_miiin]

Would it be wrong to assume that if someone isn't contacting you (phone/txts/chat) then that person isn't interested?

He seemed pretty interested at first but I'm thinking he is losing interest because he isn't initiating contact-- well he did. Once, and since then nada. I'm always the one starting the convo first.

I find it weird. We were talking about a certain movie and he proposed lending it to me or that we could watch it together- and he also proposed doing other stuff together since we have common interests. But I always have to speak to him first before he proposes anything.

I'm assuming he's either shy (Which I doubt because he is a few years older than me, not that much but still) or not interested.

[Or I may be having a IYH (In Your Head) moment.]

I'm not a guy, but I can tell you that it definitely doesn't mean he's not interested. I almost always had to start the conversation with my ex and thought I was suffocating the kid, but he always said he didn't mind and then finally asked me out. I wouldn't worry too much. ^^

[Guest Happy4life]

So I have a boyfriend whom I've been dating for 8 months and I'm trying to get over jealousy problems because it really is hurting our relationship

The thing is, it isn't even about EVERY girl in general it's more about ONE SPECIFIC GIRL. He liked her before me and he liked her a lot.. I'm pretty sure of that.

She's one of my close friends so it's good that she isn't some random stranger but I guess it's the fact that I know her and how amazing she is that it bothers me?

This year they have 2 classes together and I don't have any with him but we still meet each other in the hallways.

Every time he mentions her or I see them joking around i get a little @#$@$% jealous ><;;

And I have told him about it and he always tells me how he's over her and that he really only loves me but it's so hard for me to get over it. As of right now I have felt that because I keep bringing the girl up that he has felt that I'm doubting him and I sort of am. I'm trying to get over jealousy issues but I keep feeling bothered by it.

I don't even know why and I really don't know what to do

[Guest Liandon]

A guy knowing that you've liked him sends you these signals which indicates he likes you! But when you confess all he says is,"thank you for telling me", never saying that he doesnt like you or does. a little bit later, he tells you that he's known for a while that you've liked him - someone told him. He also said he didnt realize you did like him untill said person told him, stating, "i'm oblivious, so i never thought so or noticed."

Even after that understanding that he doesnt exactly like you, you find him staring at you during class, all the time.

The guy is a nice one. He hangs out with the popular crowd, has just turned 17, and he's never shown anything remotely richard simmons-like to me as a friend of several months. He would initiate, and practically text me every day.

Did he lead me on intentionally, or is it just that he's an exceptionally oblivious and innocent guy who doesn't realize that texting a girl, "did you miss me i missed you....i missed you a lot", and "(i'm only texting at 2 in the morning,) because its you ", among other things said in person and done might be interpreted as signs of him liking her? He's incredibly confusing....

[Guest the_wronged</3]

There's this guy who I've been to talking to for months now. Usually when I tell him I miss him, he'd say he kinda misses me/misses me a little/something as equally vague. However, recently, I told him I missed him but he probably didn't and ..

Him: Lol says who?

Me: Me lol. You don't seem like you do.

Him: That's not true.

Me: Aw so you do?

Him: I'm not saying.

And for a while I kept trying to get him to tell me why but he refused saying that's just how he felt and didn't want to. He even admitted he was a d*ck. I told him no, not really and he asked, "no? are you sure?" Is he trying to push me away or something? I just don't understand him. I guess this might be his way of saying he's not that into me anymore?

[Guest converted]

There's this guy who I've been to talking to for months now. Usually when I tell him I miss him, he'd say he kinda misses me/misses me a little/something as equally vague. However, recently, I told him I missed him but he probably didn't and ..

Him: Lol says who?

Me: Me lol. You don't seem like you do.

Him: That's not true.

Me: Aw so you do?

Him: I'm not saying.

And for a while I kept trying to get him to tell me why but he refused saying that's just how he felt and didn't want to. He even admitted he was a d*ck. I told him no, not really and he asked, "no? are you sure?" Is he trying to push me away or something? I just don't understand him. I guess this might be his way of saying he's not that into me anymore?

It depends largely on his personality and how he said it. If he seemed a little embarrassed, maybe looking down at his feet, then it's possible that he was shy and just unsure on how to proceed. If he seemed/sounded distracted, and was looking away (basically any direction except downwards) then he's trying to push you away.

[wengfrecrixs]

what meant not officially bf ?