Ask The Fellas

[Guest Javus]

My ex & I broke up 4-5 years ago, but we're still friends on facebook. Recently, he messaged me on facebook saying that we should grab lunch sometime. I was busy so I declined twice and he still keeps trying to meet up with me. What is his intention? Does he want to be friends again, more than friends, or is he just curious how I'm doing? Any ideas?

If he keeps asking you out, then he probably has an ulterior motive. It's also fishy that it's been 4-5 years and he's contacting you out of nowhere.

Although I could be wrong and he just wants to catch up.

[Guest ANJEE<3]

thanks (:

[xRiChan]

Alright, I'm gonna need your help with this guys!

So. This guy I've known since I was like 12 asked me out yesterday, and I said yes. We enjoyed the date, ice cream parlor, and we've made it official.

The thing is, I'm 16 [A junior] and he's 17 [A senior]. That's not the problem. The thing is, I'm his first. First kiss, first girlfriend. I've had one long relationship before and been out with a few other guys. The thing is, he's a shy guy to begin with and being his first makes me nervous. 

How should I treat him? With respect obviously, but anything special I should do to make him feel more comfortable?

[Guest HERMIT]

@ANJEE<3:

Personally, I wouldn't resort to patting anybody on the hand as a common gesture because as you have intimated, it can be rather belittling and condescending, depending upon how it is done.  I would, however, probably do it as a playful gesture and done with the expressed intent that the recipient knows that it is a playful and not demeaning gesture.  So I guess regardless of how you've analyzed each occurrence above like you have, I think the main point is how you observed your friend's demeanor when he pat you on the head.  Maybe I'm wrong, but this is the kind of gesture where you can pretty much tell when the person is being pretty condescending about it.  If you don't get that vibe from him each and every time he does it to you - and, he seems to do it a lot - then maybe that's just his own peculiar way of showing affection, I don't know.  But if it bothers you so much, I don't see how it should be a problem bringing it to his attention.

@xRiChan:

I think for a shy guy that's just going through this process for the first time, especially with a partner relatively more experienced with him, I think just having patience with him is something that would be appreciated.  I would also probably go so far as to suggest that when certain circumstances arises where he seems  to not know what to do or how to proceed, be discreet in 'taking charge' and showing a little guidance as you see fit.  At the same time, try to learn that fine art of being encouraging and supportive of him as a means of building up his confidence as your relationship grows - while at the same time not appearing like you are being 'instructive' and 'judgmental' of him along the way.  Try to enjoy being with him and in his presence for what it is and try not to be nervous.  If you are nervous and tentative with your behavior around him and he senses that, it will only make him all the more nervous and tentative himself - and that kind of dynamic interaction won't make for a very satisfying relationship.

[Guest d_jen]

During one of our conversations, my guy friend, whom I like,  told me that I was giving him mixed signals and leading him on. He said it in a jokingly manner so I wasn't sure if he meant it. It's been a month but I never said anything to bring the topic up because I was confused whether he really does have feelings for me or not. Sometimes I would sense that he does but most of the time it seems otherwise. We're leaving for break soon so I don't know if I should ask him about it or just let it go. 

[Guest likelovers]

This is just out of curiosity:

Regarding the whole thing about what certain kisses mean: is it true?  Or is this just something that girls have been misled to believe?

If you're not sure what I'm talking about, many say that a kiss on the forehead means that the guy is protective of you, cheek is a more friendly kiss, hand is that he adores you, neck is more of a physical want, etc.  There's different versions, but they all basically say the same thing.

[omfg_mach]

Would a guy buy a $125 necklace for just any ol' close (girl)friend? Or do you guys think there is more to it.. 

[MrPower]

During one of our conversations, my guy friend, whom I like,  told me that I was giving him mixed signals and leading him on. He said it in a jokingly manner so I wasn't sure if he meant it. It's been a month but I never said anything to bring the topic up because I was confused whether he really does have feelings for me or not. Sometimes I would sense that he does but most of the time it seems otherwise. We're leaving for break soon so I don't know if I should ask him about it or just let it go. 

Let that mini cooper go. Unless you don't want to.

This is just out of curiosity:

Regarding the whole thing about what certain kisses mean: is it true?  Or is this just something that girls have been misled to believe?

If you're not sure what I'm talking about, many say that a kiss on the forehead means that the guy is protective of you, cheek is a more friendly kiss, hand is that he adores you, neck is more of a physical want, etc.  There's different versions, but they all basically say the same thing.

Kisses mean different things coming from different people, but all show some sort of affection.

or betrayal? Judas. ;;;

Would a guy buy a $125 necklace for just any ol' close (girl)friend? Or do you guys think there is more to it.. *quoted image*

Maybe a baller.

I mean, I would spend that much on my best friend, but she already is rolling in dough.

Preeeeeeettty sure the guy has other things in mind.

[Guest infinite*]

-deleted-

[Guest E.quinox]

So my friend during normal msn conversations, one time I said I was weak because I succumb to food bribes and he denied that and said that he was the weak one because I make him smile without any costs? And he constantly says that Im making him smile when I'm just talking normally? He always tells me to go on msn via face book and my wall is pretty much spammed with all his posts. Would you be like this to a casual close friend?

[Guest VitaSoyBoy]

So my friend during normal msn conversations, one time I said I was weak because I succumb to food bribes and he denied that and said that he was the weak one because I make him smile without any costs? And he constantly says that Im making him smile when I'm just talking normally? He always tells me to go on msn via face book and my wall is pretty much spammed with all his posts. Would you be like this to a casual close friend?

Lol unless he's the type of guy who just does this to every girl he can to increase his chances of finding a girlfriend (more common than you would hope), I'm pretty positive he thinks of you as more than just a regular close friend ;D

[Guest tiggii]

Hello I hope some of you guys can help me..

Last weekend at a party in my university i saw a cute guy..and we had eye-contact very often during that night. But he didn't came to talk to me...and I went home before the party was over. Luckily i found him on facebook and after considering it for a long time i decided to write him a message..and I did.(It's the first time in my life that I make the first move...usually I wait till the boys contact me.) I wrote him that I think that I saw him at the party and asked him if he liked it. He responded within minutes to me...but didn't ask me anything..so that we could start a conversation (( So what do you guys think, should I write him again or just leave it that way? If yes, what should I write?

And one more question...what do you think about girls making the first move...i felt strange about it... 

[Guest kimbomynizzo]

It could be that the guy is already taken or seeing someone. Just because you two were making eye contact during a social gathering, doesnt mean hes interested or available. In my experience, when I was with someone, I would be over-confident around other girls, and make them want me. Obviously girls are jealous of taken guys, it was just a little game I liked to play.

[Guest shooting_stars]

Thanks, chinaman_tsang! We're getting dinner

[Guest meiming8_1]

Nevermind, resolved.

[Guest P a p e r_C l i p]

What would motivate you (guys) to get up and approach a girl you didn't know in a public setting assuming you had some interest/attraction in her?

I'm sure we've all had that moment where we've spied someone eyecatching in the room and felt that little spark of interest, i'm just interested to hear what would be that motivating factor that would make you go and actually talk to her/make a move? (be it she smiled at you, you think she's interested in you, she was superhot, acted really cute, etcetc)

[Guest tiggii]

It could be that the guy is already taken or seeing someone. Just because you two were making eye contact during a social gathering, doesnt mean hes interested or available. In my experience, when I was with someone,  I would be over-confident around other girls, and make them want me. Obviously girls are jealous of taken guys, it was just a little game I liked to play.

Thank you for the answer! ~

[tangledlove]

Why do u guys walk a girl home?

Im a bit confused cause yesterday my guy friend walked me home(It was cold as hell!),it was a ten minute walk from the school. We rarely talk at school and i think he likes my friend. He sits in front of her (we never talk really for some reason.....) and thier always flirting and talking....; but while we were walking he never brought her up OR even dropped any little hints about her. It wasn't awkward when we were wakling home or anything. he's a really funny guy & ...wow I might like him! Idk... Maybe he's just being a freind?

Please help and/or give advice!

[toriii_miiin]

What makes you guys out there consider a girl to be pretty?

[AiriinxKumori]

Is it distrust if my bf jumps or watches me like a hawk every time i touch his laptop or cellphone?

I know part of it was my mistake i made early in our relationship when i looked at his text messages without asking.

I apologized for it and never did it again. however we recently talked about back in the days where we crushed and

tried to pick up people online. I talked about how i still got messages from way back in the day that i forgot to delete

and talked about it gave names and everything. Very open about all of them.When I asked him about his people he

says theres some and why does it matter? did you look through my messages? i felt shocked that he accuse me of such

a thing when i don't even know the password to his fb. [he knows the password my fb]. its been two years and he even said

himself that i didn't do anything lately that related to "invasion of privacy" but he then said

"its the fact that you would look through my stuff without asking"

that is still stuck in his head about me. and also he always talks about how i have trust issues with him but he never confronted

this issue or admitted that he has trust issues with me as well. [about the phone/laptop]

i felt guilty ever since that one mistake and kept beating myself over about it. And i thought that after a year he would stop thinking

that way about me but i guess he doesn't. The way he acts about it makes me feel like no trust and sometimes gives me the idea

that he's trying to hide something when he gets jumpy/watches me like a hawk.