Ask The Fellas

[Guest dazzIe]

Fellas, if you genuinely like a girl, how often do you think about her?

[Guest krystaliu]

My ex-bf and I broke up around... three-four months ago? :x

And I'm not 100% sure what he's trying to do. -.-

TBQH, I want to have a normal relationship with him (friends, joke around, random stuff like I do with all my other friends) again, but I don't know...

When we meet up with our friends we'll talk to each other, although we don't do much, and we're still the same sort of affectionate friendly stuff that our little "friend" group has anyway. It's not really awkward. But then online, whenever I try to chat with him, he'll be all cold and basically not replying. I even get the feeling that he's trying to ignore me sometimes. >.<

Is that something that could be expected? How can I make our "friendly" relationship actually go back to friendly?

^ also, he technically broke up with me, so I don't get why he would be like this. D:

[Guest iiRAWRR.]

This guy and I live in the same college building, so we see each other often, as we share a common area for studying and relaxing amongst our floors. Met him around a month ago? He has uhh yellow fever + asked out all the asian girls on my floor before we met. So when he asked me out too when he was drunk I obviously didn't take him seriously and said no He kind of kept on pursuing me though although he didn't with the other girls.

However, we ended up getting closer and for the past 2 weeks we hang out a lot, cuddle/spoon when watching movies... I take a lot of naps and often times after his classes he'll sneak into my room and just sleep next to me

We went to a party with our friends together and got drunk ... Got back and some things happened that I normally wouldn't allow, although we didn't go all the way I got a little mad after that night since it kind of felt like he took advantage of me a bit, but he didn't seem to think anything was wrong with that... As I am a confused girl about my feelings I told him multiple times to give up on me, but he refuses.

Long story short (sorry for the rambling!), I can't figure out if he actually likes me or is just after .. well you know .

He's a flirty guy, but gets really jealous whenever I hang out with any guy friends at all. Should I give this guy a chance or take the warning signs as a hint and stop this contact altogether? What is he thinking?

[Guest TheMissCareless]

Do guys only like girls that are these two types :

1) Petite,cute,blushes easily

2)Model-like,skinny,hot

? 

Cause It always seems like that.

[Guest followyourdreams.]

Hi...

I'm fresh out of a 3 year relationship. My ex and I were arguing a lot over little things, it was getting too much for us so I decided to call it a day. Here's a little bg info...

- We first got together when we were 13, dated for 2 years then split. We split for like 6-7 months, but remained good friends & got back together.

- We rarely ever argued and were totally perfect for eachother.

- This year, he got into University (I didn't unfortunately...) and moved to another city, so we've been LDR since about September.

- Due to LDR+him at university, we argued tons. mainly due to my clinginess+jealousy. It was bringing him down a lot but he couldn't bring himself to dump me even tho he said he "hated" me. eventually I realised we were doomed and split with him last wednesday.

We agreed to be friends and we're both happy[to a certain degree lol] buuuut...

he was back up home last weekend and we hung out. it was just like old times and it was v.obvious he was still affectionate about me.

I'm of course still crazy about him but I'm scared to ask if he wants to try it again.

so, guys...would you?

if a girl you were with was jealous and very clingy, but you loved her and got on with her so well, and still liked her...would you go back?

we're like best friends as well as bf/gf. play video games, hang out, we have mutual friends...

or would you just be happy to be really good friends with her? just to avoid the clinginess/jealousy? ==

the arguments got really heated but now we've calmed down, rarely talked and had a lot of time apart...plus I've learned to be less clingy/jealous...do you think its worth asking if he wants to try again?

he's back up home for xmas...for like a month, so it'd be the perfect time to reconcile. thoughts/opinions? :-) thanks. be harsh! I don't mind...a lot.

[MrPower]

Where are all the fellas?

 

ccleeah

Yes, this is the boyfriend that I mentioned. Everything is perfectly normal. He just doesnt look at me when he talks and I felt completely left out....

Don't let it bother you too much. I mean the whole time, he was holding onto your hand wasn't he? It wasn't like he was completely ignoring you.

[Happy Thanksgiving!]

I'm a little confused about this guy.. I'll try to cut this short:

   I met a guy at a school club event in October; we really hit it off, exchange numbers, text, and become pretty close. He's a little flirty, and I thought he liked me. He would do a lot of little things for me and then..I started to grow feelings for him. One day he even asked me to sit in his classes (I paid more attention than he did), and we ate dinner together afterward. Then have a really deep, long talk. Unfortunately, I found out -not by him- that he has a girlfriend (who also happens to be in the club). A guy in the club noticed how close we were, and lectured me to not be a "homewrecker"; I'm not like that anyway, so I told him to not worry. I stopped initiating texts (it was whoever woke up first), gave one word or really short responses, and avoided him touching or poking me.. or even just being alone with him. If he stood too close, I stepped like 2 feet away.

   We went on a tour to UCSD (we attend community college), where he was walking with me, talking with me, and not really interacting with everyone else. I tried avoiding him, ignored him several times, and even yelled at him when he hugged me from behind. He was really quiet+seemed really hurt, and I felt really bad, so I called him that night to say sorry. He wanted to stay on the phone, so I even brought up his girlfriend. He explained he didn't know, I didn't know, about her when we first met, and apologized if he made me feel like he was leading me on. I go PHEW! ....and then into the conversation we had (I think we were talking about his dog), he asks if I've ever wanted anything more from him. I told him I wouldn't want to get in between his relationship, but would be lying if I said no. We get back into random conversation, and then he blurts he doesn't see his girlfriend often because she's busy, and he also feels like she doesn't initiate; it's always him. He asked me what to do about it, and I told him to talk to her, giving him a little lecture about maintaining the relationship. We go back into random conversation and then before we hang up, he suggests we don't hang out as often, and when we do, with groups of people.

  We've been good for the past few weeks; the guy who lectured me stopped nagging me about him. But I feel like the guy DOES like me: he'll do things for me, or look for me after his last class ends. I think he avoids his girlfriend too.. one time he saw her at a place we usually hang out/meet up and he kind of froze. He talked to her, they walk out together, and 5 mins later, he sends me a text apologizing for not saying goodbye. The other day, I wasn't walking straight (lack of sleep, water, food), and he walks me to where I needed to go, telling me to lean towards his direction, so if I fall, he can catch me. Afterward, he asked if he could get me something, sat me down, gave me candy, etc. Today, he asked me to go out on a drive with him tonight... he wanted to get boba, and then wait for midnight black Friday shopping. Just us. I told him I had to stay home for dinner and cleaning, but maybe we can go out tomorrow.

What should I do? Am I wrong for wanting to go out with him? Do YOU guys think he likes me? What do you think he's doing?

I'm so confused.

....Sorry for my story being so long, thank you for reading! ^^;

If I were you, I wouldn't act based on feelings alone. There are a considerable number of things that prevent this relationship from forming, and I believe it's best to keep it that way.

I'll just say one more. A wandering eye will always wander. It is not to be trusted.

Should I be upset/worried if my boyfriend still keeps in contact with his ex-girlfriend, whom he consider a friend now, via text, and occasional visits?  

There is always something to worry about when it comes to ex girlfriends. Trust your boyfriend if he is trustworthy. If he isn't, don't try to stop him from doing what he desires. It'll only strain the relationship.

I'm gonna try to keep this short... basically, I've fallen for a guy who said he doesn't date anymore. In May. We've been hooking up for 4 months (I was out of the country for 3 months during the summer), we see each other at least once a week, and we've been friends/acquaintances for a year before. One of my friends (who doesn't know him at all) says that usually when guys say they don't want any relationship, they mean it.

I'm curious to know if that's true? Do I still have a chance? I want to bring up the topic and ask what our status is but I'm not sure how to...

EDIT

Another question! When cuddling, do guys like it when the girl is the 'cuddler' and him the 'cuddlee'? E.g. like this: http://theuglyfriend...zuoz5o1_500.jpg

Ehh not sure if I asked that right.

Meh. sometimes it's true; other times, it's not.

feelings develop sooner or later, unless he's just using you for your body.

Ask if you feel like he's feeling the same way. Subtly.

Opposite way around.

i have a guy friend...sometimes he says things that are awkward and i don't want to overthink..but you know im a girl i like to overthink so im going to ask the question anyway from a a guy's POV...

well whenever he talks..he likes to mention that we like the same things--that we have the same favorites..he remembers some of the stuff that i like--..for examples--asian dramas (he knows im a die hard fan--and wants to watch them too), i told him i like fresh coconut juice (he saw a pic in the mag of a coconut and tells me that it's my favorite), and one time i told him drunk that i like guys with broad backs---and he likes to keep mentioning it to me...whenever we go out-he keeps telling me--"oh that guy is like checking you out/ staring at you etc"...and when we hang out he always ends up sitting next to me--like there was a time he wanted to switch seats next to our friend which was like facing towards me and our friend keep teasing him about it ..and when i was dressed up for this one occasion--he told me i look really good...he likes to tease and make fun of me...one time our friends and i were talking about love--we have different ethnicity..he asked me suddenly if my parents would be strict on me when it comes to the person that i love...and idk he keeps mentioning to me that i make him laugh and i surprise him--because i don't look like someone who is willing to try weird stuff (like eating exotic food) and it gives a smile on his face..

we also have girl friends in our group..but everyone notice that we tease each other like we are in our own world...and when we went out one time and i was a bit buzzed he was my buddy system--he wanted me to hold his hand instead of holding onto his arm...

so what do you guys think? does my friend have a little crush on me?

Maybe. Compare how he treats others compared to you.

I'm trying to become closer friends with a guy, but I don't know how much to push it further, I don't want to seem too desperate, but at the same time I want to have progress...guys, how should I approach this? We txt each other sometimes and we rarely meet up...

talk more. hang out more. keep it casual.

find out what he likes.

an ex once took the time to listen to what bands I specifically liked to buy tickets when they were playing in town. She remembered what foods I liked/disliked and picked a restaurant that wasn't too pricey for the both of us. We were just hanging out as friends then, but I remember being appreciative of how well she paid attention. After a while, hanging out with her felt natural, and something seemed off whenever I wasn't around her. 

Hope this helps.

Fellas, if you genuinely like a girl, how often do you think about her?

Everyday. Many things throughout the day would remind me of her, and she would be the last thought on my mind before I fall asleep.

I've actually asked this to my male friends, and they er... well, they don't think of their women often. Usually it's dates, appointments, and chores. LOL

My ex-bf and I broke up around... three-four months ago? :x

And I'm not 100% sure what he's trying to do. -.-

TBQH, I want to have a normal relationship with him (friends, joke around, random stuff like I do with all my other friends) again, but I don't know...

When we meet up with our friends we'll talk to each other, although we don't do much, and we're still the same sort of affectionate friendly stuff that our little "friend" group has anyway. It's not really awkward. But then online, whenever I try to chat with him, he'll be all cold and basically not replying. I even get the feeling that he's trying to ignore me sometimes. >.<

Is that something that could be expected? How can I make our "friendly" relationship actually go back to friendly?

^ also, he technically broke up with me, so I don't get why he would be like this. D:

It's hard for people to return to what they were before.

If he broke up with you, what does that mean? Think about that. The answer will come to you.

This guy and I live in the same college building, so we see each other often, as we share a common area for studying and relaxing amongst our floors.  Met him around a month ago?  He has uhh yellow fever   + asked out all the asian girls on my floor before we met.  So when he asked me out too when he was drunk I obviously didn't take him seriously and said no   He kind of kept on pursuing me though although he didn't with the other girls.

However, we ended up getting closer and for the past 2 weeks we hang out a lot, cuddle/spoon when watching movies... I take a lot of naps and often times after his classes he'll sneak into my room and just sleep next to me  

We went to a party with our friends together and got drunk ... Got back and some things happened that I normally wouldn't allow, although we didn't go all the way    I got a little mad after that night since it kind of felt like he took advantage of me a bit, but he didn't seem to think anything was wrong with that... As I am a confused girl about my feelings I told him multiple times to give up on me, but he refuses.  

Long story short (sorry for the rambling!), I can't figure out if he actually likes me or is just after .. well you know .  

He's a flirty guy, but gets really jealous whenever I hang out with any guy friends at all.  Should I give this guy a chance or take the warning signs as a hint and stop this contact altogether?  What is he thinking?  

Warning signs. Take them.

Do guys only like girls that are these two types :

1) Petite,cute,blushes easily

2)Model-like,skinny,hot

? 

Cause It always seems like that.

I generally go for those types. Rarely would I go for others because aesthetics is very important to me (and other guys).

Every guy has a difference preference. I hardly know of any that goes for unfit women.

Ask yourself this question: Would you rather go for somebody that's hot, or not?

Hi...

I'm fresh out of a 3 year relationship. My ex and I were arguing a lot over little things, it was getting too much for us so I decided to call it a day. Here's a little bg info...

- We first got together when we were 13, dated for 2 years then split. We split for like 6-7 months, but remained good friends & got back together.

- We rarely ever argued and were totally perfect for eachother.

- This year, he got into University (I didn't unfortunately...) and moved to another city, so we've been LDR since about September.

- Due to LDR+him at university, we argued tons. mainly due to my clinginess+jealousy. It was bringing him down a lot but he couldn't bring himself to dump me even tho he said he "hated" me. eventually I realised we were doomed and split with him last wednesday.

We agreed to be friends and we're both happy[to a certain degree lol] buuuut...

he was back up home last weekend and we hung out. it was just like old times and it was v.obvious he was still affectionate about me.

I'm of course still crazy about him but I'm scared to ask if he wants to try it again.

so, guys...would you?

if a girl you were with was jealous and very clingy, but you loved her and got on with her so well, and still liked her...would you go back?

we're like best friends as well as bf/gf. play video games, hang out, we have mutual friends...

or would you just be happy to be really good friends with her? just to avoid the clinginess/jealousy? ==

the arguments got really heated but now we've calmed down, rarely talked and had a lot of time apart...plus I've learned to be less clingy/jealous...do you think its worth asking if he wants to try again?

he's back up home for xmas...for like a month, so it'd be the perfect time to reconcile. thoughts/opinions? :-) thanks. be harsh! I don't mind...a lot.

I haven't gone back with a woman that I've broken up with.

That being said, if I truly loved her, then I would consider it.

Try not to be the jealous/clingy type. Guys appreciate that you care about them, but if you ever start invading his privacy or demand that he acts a certain way, then he'll start to resent you.

[Guest __CHINA.DOLL]

I have a question, and I understand the answer may be different for everyone however..

this guy and I have been friends for a while and we talk online and we hang out once a month.

However the thing is.. I'm always the one asking him to hang out.. and I guess I kind of feel like I'm being really desperate?

It isn't like when we hang out he seems bored or anything we laugh and joke around and he would pay/ offer to pay for the dinner/lunch.

& he would often start conversations online as well.. Therefore, I don't know is there a reason why you guys think he never asks to hang out ? Sometimes I would tell myself " don't ask him, wait for him to ask you.. " However.. I just can't help it sometimes..

[Guest Fatalchange]

Some guys do, most guys don't even notice.

I actively try to notice, and still fail miserably.

If it's somebody I really admire or get along with, I'd definitely notice any subtle changes.

If I hang out with her, and she puts forth the effo

Thanks for answering

That's pretty discouraging, but I guess completely forgetting about my looks wouldn't help much either...so I guess I'll continue waking up early anyway xD

Actually...I haven't had feelings for a guy for a long time, so now that I've actually developed feelings for one of my friends...I'm completely flustered and thrown off o-o;; I'm not sure how I'm suppose interpret certain behaviours...

[Guest meiming8_1]

Hi guys! ^^

I met this guy J in this BJJ class I took, but never went to again at my uni. He told his friend, M, who later became my friend that he thought I was cute, and M later told me that J thinks I'm cute. Ever since then whenever I've been around J, M always jokes about us getting together and J liking me. But now I'm not sure if J does like me! He's a really quiet guy, but he hasn't shown that he likes me at all. He doesn't really talk to me when I'm around and he doesn't put any effort into getting to know me. I'm quite friendly so I chat to him, and I've made some effort into getting to know him better- I ran into him before we went to this party and invited him and M to drink with me and my friends, and J said he would ask M, but when I talked to M later he said J didn't mention about it. At the same party, M was joking around and tried to get J to dance with me, but he wouldn't. I talked to M today about him, and M said that he talks about me a lot, but he's really shy and nervous to make the first move/he's never had a gf before. Does this sound feasible? I'm worried J doesn't actually like me and M is just joking around and now J's uncomfortable around me.

[Guest Javus]

Hi guys! ^^

I met this guy J in this BJJ class I took, but never went to again at my uni. He told his friend, M, who later became my friend that he thought I was cute, and M later told me that J thinks I'm cute. Ever since then whenever I've been around J, M always jokes about us getting together and J liking me. But now I'm not sure if J does like me! He's a really quiet guy, but he hasn't shown that he likes me at all. He doesn't really talk to me when I'm around and he doesn't put any effort into getting to know me. I'm quite friendly so I chat to him, and I've made some effort into getting to know him better- I ran into him before we went to this party and invited him and M to drink with me and my friends, and J said he would ask M, but when I talked to M later he said J didn't mention about it. At the same party, M was joking around and tried to get J to dance with me, but he wouldn't. I talked to M today about him, and M said that he talks about me a lot, but he's really shy and nervous to make the first move/he's never had a gf before. Does this sound feasible? I'm worried J doesn't actually like me and M is just joking around and now J's uncomfortable around me.

Well you said so yourself that J is quiet and shy, maybe he just doesn't know how to approach you or M is the one making it uncomfortable for him. Keep on trying to talk to J some more and maybe get advice from other mutual friends other than M.

[Guest emmabb]

Meh. sometimes it's true; other times, it's not.

feelings develop sooner or later, unless he's just using you for your body.

Ask if you feel like he's feeling the same way. Subtly.

Opposite way around.

Thanks for your reply!

I think the thing that's putting me off from asking the most is that he confessed to me he did the same thing with a previous FWB. He said he could tell the girl wanted more but 'he didn't care he was just using her.' I know he was in a 4 year long relationship that ended nearly 2 years ago (he told me that it took a while to get over her) so I'm thinking that he's probably scared to get into a relationship again... but then again, he told me all this 7 months ago.

Any tips on how to 'subtly' hint at a relationship?

[Guest akia_025]

What would it mean if an ex still texts you constantly? Not just out-of-the-blue text messages.

[Guest followyourdreams.]

I haven't gone back with a woman that I've broken up with.

That being said, if I truly loved her, then I would consider it.

Try not to be the jealous/clingy type. Guys appreciate that you care about them, but if you ever start invading his privacy or demand that he acts a certain way, then he'll start to resent you.

Thanks for the reply! Yeah, I'm trying my hardest not to be like that. It's tough but I suppose I'm gonna have to do something about it.

Thanks again for the reply~~

[Guest nihewo87]

This is going to be long but I hope someone gives me their opinion. >_<

Recently I went to a semi-formal ball and I missed an opportunity with this guy. During the summer of 2009 I went to summer school to get an extra credit. I rmb on the first day of class, I didn't know anyone and I just rmb this guy few seats behind me was smiling at me. Then teacher told us to find a partner for group work so then me and the guy got into partners. His name is Alex and he seemed kinda shy when he talked to me but he was really funny.

Then the next day we sat near each other and talked a bit. But then the teacher just had to make a new seating plan. So Alex and I were sitting on opposite sides of the classroom so we didn't really talk to each other after except just smile when we see each other. Then at the end of summer school, we didn't get a chance to say bye to each other. I rmb I was still trying to finish writing my exam and he finished before me. When he handed in his exam to the teacher...which was right in front of my desk, I *think* I saw him looking at me and then he left. I was so sad!!

I never thought I would see him again until the first day of university (which was a year later so now its 2010) I saw him!What are the chances? He waved at me then I waved back at him. I wanted to talk to him I was in a hurry. Then during frosh week, I saw him one more time and he smiled at me and I smiled at him. ) ughh I really wanted to talk to him. That was the last time I saw him...untill last week at the semi-formal (a year later again, which is 2 years now). When I spotted him idk my heart was beating so fast! He was about 4 steps in front of me to my right. I was looking straight ahead watching a performance and then from the corner of my eye, he turned around and looked at me for about 3-4seconds. I was too scared to make eye contact with him..idk why. I wish I said hi but my social anxiety was kicking up.

Then he just walked right past me while I looked at him. There's something about this guy that I find really captivating...even after 2 years, I still have feelings for him. I thought these feelings were gone until I saw him at the ball. Do you think he wanted to say hi too? Is he interested? What do you think of this situation? I’m not sure why but the more I think about him, the more my chest hurts. I thought these feelings were gone until I saw him at the ball again.

[Guest HERMIT]

Do you think he wanted to say hi too? Is he interested? What do you think of this situation? I’m not sure why but the more I think about him, the more my chest hurts. I thought these feelings were gone until I saw him at the ball again.

It sounds like the guy is at least recognizing you and remembering having met you before at summer school.  Unfortunately, your account is only from one perspective and it's yours - so, there's really only so much that I can say and this is it.  Maybe he is interested, but he could just as easily be interested in getting reacquainted with you at just the friendly level.  There's only so much one can glean from these chance encounters that you've been having.  I will say this, though:  if you want to get definitive answers, you best not let the next chance you meet slip away.  Approach him, get reacquainted.  You won't know for sure until you get over your social anxiety and start talking to him again.  After that, you've have more behavioral evidence to go by in determining the answer to these questions that have been haunting you.

[WistfulLove]

What do you guys think would be a perfect date for Christmas Eve with your significant other?

I want to plan an entire day for Christmas Eve with my boyfriend and i need some ideas (:

[NotWhoISayIAm]

On 11/29/2011 at 6:14 PM, WistfulLove said:

What do you guys think would be a perfect date for Christmas Eve with your significant other?

I want to plan an entire day for Christmas Eve with my boyfriend and i need some ideas (:

 

[MrPower]

What do you guys think would be a perfect date for Christmas Eve with your significant other?

I want to plan an entire day for Christmas Eve with my boyfriend and i need some ideas (:

Jam session + record an album with her.

Sweet Potato Pie.

Drive up to a quiet cabin up in the mountains, and make a warm, toasty fire in the fireplace.

French Silk Pie.

Talk and laugh all day.

Apple Pie.

Wrap ourselves in soft, comfy blankets, and drink some hot chocolate as we enjoy each other's company.

Chicken Pot Pie.

Watch a good film.

Boston Creme Pie

Cook/eat together.

Pie.

Watch the stars out at night, close to each other to stay warm.

Pie.

Make a wish @ 11:11

Pie.

Take it from there.

[Guest kimchiday]

Whenever you talk to your ex-girlfriend (whom was your first ever girlfriend) and all you talk about is the past you two had together and about how you might meet in the future does this mean anything? O_O

[Guest Javus]

Whenever you talk to your ex-girlfriend (whom was your first ever girlfriend) and all you talk about is the past you two had together and about how you might meet in the future does this mean anything? O_O

Maybe, but you probably shouldn't read too much into it. It could possibly just be making conversation. However it's interesting that you're good enough friends with your ex that you can talk about these things.