Ask The Fellas

[Guest chambichamboo]

why do guys stare a lot but does not initiate conversation?

[Guest HERMIT]

^

do you guys do that too??.. 

Which do you mean? Get overly paranoid, ramble too much, or stare a lot?

[Guest vremix]

How long do you wait before introducing a girlfriend to your family and under what conditions?

[Guest]

deleted 

[Guest discofuse]

deleteeeee

[Guest xspringrollsx]

I have been seeing this guy for about 2 months now. By seeing, we hung out one on one alone. I've known him since the start of the year and we were fairly good friends before seeing one another. Since we're in the same class have also have a few mutual friends where we also have dinner all together from time to time.

My question is lately we've been acting really couple-y. Like holding hands etc etc and its obvious we have feelings for one another. However we aren't "official". So we treat each other as just friends when we are in front of our mutual friends. I want us to be official but I don't know how to bring it up or if I should up at all.

Should just straight up ask if we are actually together (or suggestions on possibly a more casual way of approaching this) or just wait for him to ask me to be his girlfriend? (how long should I be waiting?)

[MrPower]

So the saying once a player always a player- how well does that hold?

Because there's this guy who is a player, but says he wants to be committed.

Is it really hard for players to settle down? Usually how long does it take?

SInce he still can't stop himself from hooking up (subconsciously)-when he's had a few to drink.

Is there any chance of a relationship with someone like that?

Thanks in advance

I think it's difficult for people to change who they truly are. In order for this to happen, usually a wake up call (namely a dramatic event) is needed in order for them to consider changing their ways.

Relationship? yeah. Lasting relationship? probably not.

why do guys stare a lot but does not initiate conversation?

Depends on the guy really.

Some guys are lost in thought. Others are holding back questions. Then there are those that fantasize all day...

And let's not forget the absent minded ones who are thinking of absolutely nothing.

If he seems like he's interested, it might be intimidation and lack of confidence.

How long do you wait before introducing a girlfriend to your family and under what conditions?

Never.

Ever.

Yet...

I plan to introduce my girlfriend to my family when we're seriously committed and have an ideal loving relationship.

hello guys . . so today, I asked the guy I like if I make him smile then he answered "maybe" then i asked him why does he keep on answering questions very vaguely then he just laughed.

he isn't interested to talk to me, is he?

He may be playing hard to get, or is not interested in you romantically.

Look at his body language.

I have been seeing this guy for about 2 months now. By seeing, we hung out one on one alone. I've known him since the start of the year and we were fairly good friends before seeing one another. Since we're in the same class have also have a few mutual friends where we also have dinner all together from time to time.

My question is lately we've been acting really couple-y. Like holding hands etc etc and its obvious we have feelings for one another. However we aren't "official". So we treat each other as just friends when we are in front of our mutual friends. I want us to be official but I don't know how to bring it up or if I should up at all.

Should just straight up ask if we are actually together (or suggestions on possibly a more casual way of approaching this) or just wait for him to ask me to be his girlfriend? (how long should I be waiting?)

Guys hate this question: "So, what exactly are we?"

So what are women left with when they're denied a direct confrontation?

Beat around the bush.

Don't pressure him too much, but let him know (in a subtle way!) that you want to make it official.

Drop hints. Drop hint bombs. Drop hint A bombs.

If those hints aren't effective, then you may have to wear the pants and ask him to be your boyfriend lol.

[Guest punkerella]

There's this guy that I like and just before school ended, he mentioned hanging out before my trip to China (its next week) a few times to me. The day after our last exam, I texted asking if he'd like to hang out. He replied back saying he'd like to and asked when we are hanging out. I wrote back asking when he is free. He never texted back after for two days. This really bothered me so my friend suggested butt calling (calling and not answering... I have caller id turned off so he wouldn't know) so if he picks up, he's probably avoiding my text. Problem is he actually did pick up. I really want to know why he hasn't written back, I mean even as friends (we seemed like pretty good friends in school) you don't just avoid people like that. My friend suggested texting "Did you get my last text? I don't think I can hangout anymore... I'm busy everyday now". So should I text something else, confront him, etc? Also, what should I write/say? Or just leave it and avoid him, etc? I feel so down

[Guest handsomeasianboy]

There's this guy that I like and just before school ended, he mentioned hanging out before my trip to China (its next week) a few times to me.  The day after our last exam, I texted asking if he'd like to hang out.  He replied back saying he'd like to and asked when we are hanging out.  I wrote back asking when he is free.  He never texted back after for two days.  This really bothered me so my friend suggested butt calling (calling and not answering... I have caller id turned off so he wouldn't know) so if he picks up, he's probably avoiding my text.  Problem is he actually did pick up.  I really want to know why he hasn't written back, I mean even as friends (we seemed like pretty good friends in school) you don't just avoid people like that.  My friend suggested texting "Did you get my last text? I don't think I can hangout anymore... I'm busy everyday now".  So should I text something else, confront him, etc? Also, what should I write/say? Or just leave it and avoid him, etc? I feel so down  

Does he know you like him? Just talk to him or text him like you would to any friend and ask why he didn't reply back. It's best to get a answer from him then second guess and have him in your mind all day. That will just make you like him more.

[Guest 43829]

Look at my avatar and day dream about me.

Don't know if serious person or troll account.  ಠ_ಠ

[Guest hkukaudition]

Hey what does it mean when you meet up with a girl every month or so to have 'chats'?

Is it actually possible that it could be completely innocent?

I don't really know the detail of what they do/talk about but my BF specifically asked that i didn't come with him - TBH i wasnt thinking about going either, but once he said that... i was a bit like... 'MMhmmm?!'

He said that sometimes they talk about intimate stuff.. and i dunno why but i can't help but feel a bit suspicious. I guess im hoping that one of you guys can assure me that its completely innocent. He did it before we were going out as well and from what i know they've been doing it for ages. I think i just want one of you guys to tell me im being completely irrational and to trust my BF because hes not doing anything....right?

I dont really want to bring it up with my BF because i think it is probably really stupid and irrational so i dont want him to think why the hell am i worried

[Guest Andreas1]

Hey what does it mean when you meet up with a girl every month or so to have 'chats'?

He probably would have come up with a much more innocent sounding story if he was actually doing something bad.

[Guest gangdur]

Is it a good thing after the first date for the guy to rank you 8/10 and call you hot?

He was mature on the date.

Lol I feel like a piece of meat and am judging his intentions.

[Guest epicpwnage]

Three days ago I got my crush's number because we were volunteering at the same place and he gave it to me.

....... I noticed a few things when we were talking. When speaking in a group, he looks at me straight in the eye when he speaks. And when we were seperated to volunteer for different events, he would always look over to see what I was doing.

But when it's just me and him walking and stuff. He just looks forward and doesn't look at me at all? Well, I kind of do the same, I just look forward but sometimes I would just turn my head to look at him when speaking.

And conversation between us is a little awkward?... Some awkward silences....

Also, I texted him a question yesterday and still have not received a reply. I know there is a possibility of him not receiving the text or something. But if it's not, why would a person not reply a text unless they didn't really want to have a conversation with that certain person?...

I don't know, I don't want to look desperate for him because I'm not. He just makes me so confused about.... everything o__o

What should I do now? I feel like I'm not going to get over him.

[Guest HERMIT]

Is it a good thing after the first date for the guy to rank you 8/10 and call you hot?

He was mature on the date.

Lol I feel like a piece of meat and am judging his intentions.

Well, being an 8 and hot would be a good thing, would it not?

Unfortunately, what this guy is guilty of is poor taste and lack of tact if he explicitly assessed you like that to your face.

But do note, however, that I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt since you report that he was otherwise mature on the date. If he were a total cad throughout the date, then it would be a different story.

While I understand your feelings of being objectified in this context, just try to realize that that's just how us guys are in general - especially when it's based on a first date/first appearance kind of thing. We tend to be more visual/superficial when it comes to these things. But the way he expressed himself, I'd say, is generally more reserved for when 'talking amongst the guys'. So I guess, that's just his poor judgement.

Hey, look at it this way - what it ultimately boils down to is that he's into you. At least he didn't say you were a 3 or something.

[Guest xox_Hollistercutie_xox]

what does it mean if a guy used to talk to you and communicate more with you but then once he figured out that you like him he stopped that and started acting more cautious around you? and he also said how he does not want to start anything b.c eh dusnt know u too well is that just all a lie to cover up the real reason and if so what can the real reason as to why he didnt want to start anything be?

[Guest Andreas1]

what does it mean if a guy used to talk to you and communicate more with  you but then once he figured out that you like him he stopped that and  started acting more cautious around you? and he also said how he does  not want to start anything b.c eh dusnt know u too well is that just all  a lie to cover up the real reason and if so what can the real reason as  to why he didnt want to start anything be?

He's trying not to lead you on. You simply might not be his type...

I don't know, I don't want to look desperate for him because I'm not. He just makes me so confused about.... everything o__o

What should I do now? I feel like I'm not going to get over him.

If he doesn't bother to return your message then he's probably not that interested. If you really want some kind of answer from him then wait till you see him in person and ask him why he never responded to your text.

[Guest]

Hey guys! 

Our friends (some of which, mutual) have called us out that maybe something is going on between us and such but when we actually talk with one another, we came close but never got to the discussion until...now. 

Earlier today, we had told one another about the above. And then later at night, finally confessed to one another that we really did like one another.

He expressed that he wanted us to take some more time thinking about our relationship - as well as, pray to God on what he wants. Some other factors that he brought up (which I'm sure he is concerned about):

1. 5-6 years age gap

2. Close friends/오빠-동생 relationship at Church; he doesn't want to hurt me and wants to proceed with carefulness

3. Past relationship of his ex (4 years) and she broke it off with him when relationship later became LDR; and right now, there is also a chance he may move for work.

He did however, say that #3 wasn't a big concern at all. And he understands any relationship could end with hurt so it's mostly #1, 2, and maybe something more but we haven't brought it up in convo.

I'm alright with taking some time (I also think I need the time also and have been praying about it around the time I first asked questions on 'Ask the Fellas' thread, and received so much insight from HERMIT and Andreas1). I do however, think he may need more time than I do since he's older & has experienced a lot more than I have in terms of life but also relationships in general. By no means I want to rush him, of course! ^^ I'm just really happy yet now a bit apprehensive of what will happen.

Q: Since he's not certain, does that mean he doesn't really want to date me [officially/bf-gf]? Or does he just want some more time to think about it?

[Guest HERMIT]

^

For a guy that's taken this much time and care in considering a relationship with you, I think he would have come right out by now in telling you if he didn't want to be official with you. The fact he hasn't is indicative to me that he simply needs more time to sort things out. I think that once he gets his job situation settled and when your school schedule resumes will things gradually progress and become more clarified - one way or the other.

So in the meantime, enjoy everything for what it is. Think about where you were a month or two ago and how uncertain you were with this guy; now, realize where you are and what you know today. Answers will always eventually appear to you in due time, so remain patient. As someone once told me, worry only for what you can take care of today, for tomorrow will always be there to sort itself out later.

[Guest Shenay]

Mhmm spent the pass hour backtracking this thread & learnt some stuff. However, will it be better if a girl acts like she doesn't really care/waits for his replies, gives him less credit than what he deserve, does not overthink/think anything by analyzing his actions until he comes straight and clear that he is interested in something more? It feels like guys are so afraid of commitments & they always want to remain in that friend but close friends stage. Like cmon, we don't want to remain there forever alright! I want to get together, hence I'm putting effort in this !