Ask The Fellas

[Guest -Excellence-]

endlessxlove said: -Excellence- said: endlessxlove said: I met this guy at a party a few days ago and we hooked up (making out just to make it clear).The next day he talked to me, then after that I messaged him on skype and he deleted me LOLCan some one just tell me why? 

[endlessxlove]

-Excellence- said: endlessxlove said: -Excellence- said: endlessxlove said: I met this guy at a party a few days ago and we hooked up (making out just to make it clear).The next day he talked to me, then after that I messaged him on skype and he deleted me LOLCan some one just tell me why? 

[Guest xphant0mwing]

@endlessxlove Most guys that go to parties, they arent there to meet girls to have a relationship with. So to answer your question simply. Yes.. more than likely you lost your chance with him

[endlessxlove]

@endlessxlove Most guys that go to parties' date=' they arent there to meet girls to have a relationship with. So to answer your question simply. Yes.. more than likely you lost your chance with him[/quote']

Do you think if I met him again during day time and not at a party perhaps I will have a chance with him again? What can i do to have a chance with him again?

[Guest Michiyo Yakito-chan]

raymondc27 said: Michiyo Yakito-chan said: Hey guys. 
So, my friend intro me a guy. Had a couple of chats with him and we went on a couple of dates. It's pretty normal and all nothing special or spark between us. We do message each other but it's like maybe 3 times a week? I am assuming he isn't trying to woo me since I don't really feel any "special" attention. But I did told him that things should work out slowly. So he does initiate some outings together however, when we went out, he is constantly on his phone. It kind of irritates me a little. Sometimes when we message, he likes to use the pronoun of "we", "us" which kinda leads me to thinking if he is interested. Sometimes he gives really slow reply. Makes me feel unimportant as well. I hope I wasn't looking into too much of things here. I'm very unsure if I should step forward even more because it's like an emotion ride for me. Could you guys maybe give me some points to look out for to see if he is trying to take into a next step as well? Thanks so much!! 

[Ninshark]

endlessxlove said:
Do you think if I met him again during day time and not at a party perhaps I will have a chance with him again? What can i do to have a chance with him again?

[Guest shooting_stars]

This is going to be a completely juvenile question, but what would you think if you randomly found a note that said, "Hi, [insert your name here] :)" on your door, signed "anonymous" and then a few days later, a girl asked you out to coffee? Would you put two and two together and think it was the same person? Would you be creeped out? What if the girl was cute? (Because we all know attraction plays a huge part in one's romantic decisions. )
...to be honest, this came out of a completely whimsical, spontaneous girls' night and I woke up this morning totally regretting my actions because I think I sabotaged my own chances at getting coffee with this guy. (I was originally going to ask him out in a few days, but now I don't think I should, out of fear that he'll figure out the note was from me, and be creeped out. I swear I don't usually do things like this!)

[Guest HERMIT]

^
Well, if you're having second thoughts and feel like you want to save face, then just go to your local Starbucks, order a coffee, have the barista write "Anonymous" on it, and you can just leave it at this dude's door.  Then the guy would think it was a practical joke.

When he shares this story about this weird note and coffee experience, you can step up and say "how awful" and criticize the 'culprit' for being cowardly.
Then you can step up bravely and say, "If it were me, I would just ask you out directly to a cup of coffee......so - how about it?"

10 years later, when you two are married with 3 kids, you can fess up to your shenanigans.

[ShinmenTakezo]

shooting_stars said: This is going to be a completely juvenile question, but what would you think if you randomly found a note that said, "Hi, [insert your name here] :)" on your door, signed "anonymous" and then a few days later, a girl asked you out to coffee? Would you put two and two together and think it was the same person? Would you be creeped out? What if the girl was cute? (Because we all know attraction plays a huge part in one's romantic decisions. )
...to be honest, this came out of a completely whimsical, spontaneous girls' night and I woke up this morning totally regretting my actions because I think I sabotaged my own chances at getting coffee with this guy. (I was originally going to ask him out in a few days, but now I don't think I should, out of fear that he'll figure out the note was from me, and be creeped out. I swear I don't usually do things like this!)

[Guest Krrypton]

If your S/O gives more attention to people other than you, what does it mean? Does it means he's trying to say its over?

[Guest charle2sdorr]

I'll ask this one just for you...

[Ninshark]

shooting_stars said: This is going to be a completely juvenile question, but what would you think if you randomly found a note that said, "Hi, [insert your name here] :)" on your door, signed "anonymous" and then a few days later, a girl asked you out to coffee? Would you put two and two together and think it was the same person? Would you be creeped out? What if the girl was cute? (Because we all know attraction plays a huge part in one's romantic decisions. )
...to be honest, this came out of a completely whimsical, spontaneous girls' night and I woke up this morning totally regretting my actions because I think I sabotaged my own chances at getting coffee with this guy. (I was originally going to ask him out in a few days, but now I don't think I should, out of fear that he'll figure out the note was from me, and be creeped out. I swear I don't usually do things like this!)

[Guest shooting_stars]

First of all, thanks for the responses, fellas! Ninshark said: shooting_stars said: This is going to be a completely juvenile question, but what would you think if you randomly found a note that said, "Hi, [insert your name here] :)" on your door, signed "anonymous" and then a few days later, a girl asked you out to coffee? Would you put two and two together and think it was the same person? Would you be creeped out? What if the girl was cute? (Because we all know attraction plays a huge part in one's romantic decisions. )
...to be honest, this came out of a completely whimsical, spontaneous girls' night and I woke up this morning totally regretting my actions because I think I sabotaged my own chances at getting coffee with this guy. (I was originally going to ask him out in a few days, but now I don't think I should, out of fear that he'll figure out the note was from me, and be creeped out. I swear I don't usually do things like this!)

[Ninshark]

@shooting_stars

hey I didn't mean to discourage you, but I can help you come to a decision.

first thing to do is consider whether the probability of positive reaction x how much you like him and also the feeling of closure positive OR negative offsets the effort, the repercussions, the regret from not asking, and everything I said.
-if it doesn't, either you don't like him enough, or the chance you have is just too low in your mind (that's subjective to your own situation and ultimately what you decide).
^I noticed you questioning whether it is worth it, that part depends on the first part (probability of (+) x how much like) decide for yourself.

the 2 points that hold the most weight:
-how much you like him
-how much regret you'll have depending on which you choose (would you regret the embarrassment of rejection? or would you regret moreso the anxiety from lack of closure of not asking?)

sometimes there are no good choices, both sides have a lot of regret associated. in that case, either flip a coin, go with the one with least regret, or just be optimistic and go for it anyway - to choose one of these 3 depends on your personality.

[Guest shooting_stars]

@Ninshark, you know what? I'm an optimist and a risk-taker. I'm just going to do it for the hell of it. It's the end of the semester and I figure I don't really have much to lose...Hopefully, he doesn't put two and two together, but even if he does, I'll play it off and then eventually confess...Thanks!

[Ninshark]

shooting_stars said: @Ninshark, you know what? I'm an optimist and a risk-taker. I'm just going to do it for the hell of it. It's the end of the semester and I figure I don't really have much to lose...Hopefully, he doesn't put two and two together, but even if he does, I'll play it off and then eventually confess...Thanks!

[raymondc27]

I met this guy at a party a few days ago and we hooked up (making out just to make it clear).The next day he talked to me' date=' then after that I messaged him on skype and he deleted me LOLCan some one just tell me why? [/quote']

I really couldnt tell you why but was he drunk?

[raymondc27]

raymondc27 said:

Michiyo Yakito-chan said:

Hey guys. 

So, my friend intro me a guy. Had a couple of chats with him and we went on a couple of dates. It's pretty normal and all nothing special or spark between us. We do message each other but it's like maybe 3 times a week? I am assuming he isn't trying to woo me since I don't really feel any "special" attention. But I did told him that things should work out slowly. So he does initiate some outings together however, when we went out, he is constantly on his phone. It kind of irritates me a little. Sometimes when we message, he likes to use the pronoun of "we", "us" which kinda leads me to thinking if he is interested. Sometimes he gives really slow reply. Makes me feel unimportant as well. I hope I wasn't looking into too much of things here. I'm very unsure if I should step forward even more because it's like an emotion ride for me. Could you guys maybe give me some points to look out for to see if he is trying to take into a next step as well? Thanks so much!! 

I think since he initate some outing is a start, points to look for , 1 does he make you laugh and for 2 gives you his full attention when it's needed?

I would say yes for 2 and not much for 1. I'm really just not sure. I feel like he is going out with me not because he likes me but because he is searching for a "good girl". And i've never had a bf before so that kinda got him into this. He said he's been hurt badly before. I just don't want a relationship where we build the relationship on what our mind says instead of what our heart feels. 

Alright the biggest mistake is hes trying to search for a good girl because of his ex. Why go after someone who looks upon the past and allow it to affect himself. If he just plan to search tell him to search in the toilet because all you find is richard simmons. People who searches arent following their heart so I suggest you to move on. You seem like a pretty girl go find yourself a better man for a first

[raymondc27]

If your S/O gives more attention to people other than you' date=' what does it mean? Does it means he's trying to say its over?[/quote']

As I said before hes doing this on purpose.

[raymondc27]

This is going to be a completely juvenile question' date=' but what would you think if you randomly found a note that said, "Hi, [insert your name here'] :)" on your door, signed "anonymous" and then a few days later, a girl asked you out to coffee? Would you put two and two together and think it was the same person? Would you be creeped out? What if the girl was cute? (Because we all know attraction plays a huge part in one's romantic decisions. )

...to be honest, this came out of a completely whimsical, spontaneous girls' night and I woke up this morning totally regretting my actions because I think I sabotaged my own chances at getting coffee with this guy. (I was originally going to ask him out in a few days, but now I don't think I should, out of fear that he'll figure out the note was from me, and be creeped out. I swear I don't usually do things like this!)

Lol wait did you stalk him first? If I was stalked ill be creeped if not then I guess its cute