Ask The Fellas

[Guest hebe-x]

Okay so... I have another Q because the whole "Confession" thing didn't really work because I haven't had a chance to say, because he's now avoiding me??

What does it mean when, a guy is sitting there, studying, and he sees you.... Then he moves to another study area, completely away from you because he saw you?

I'm so confused because I thought we were somewhat friends... And now he's avoiding me. Something that may have contributed to this was the other day I asked if he wanted to go get some ice-cream together, because it's Summer and hot over here and he said he was busy. I asked what the real reason was and he said that it's awkward when it's us two just hanging.... But the point of me asking to catch up was to get to know each other better anyway.

I just feel like someone in his life  that he doesn't want.... Which I'm confused about because these past couple of months he'd joke around, tease and be nice... and now He's just flat out avoiding me. I haven't changed the way I've acted from day one til now and I also haven't made it blatantly obvious that I'm interested in him or anything either, just casually asking to hang out & get to know each other better.

I'm so confused ><

[Guest yulia.]

Hey guys, quick question~

So if you are going to your next class, but before you enter the building (i'm talking about university btw) a girl you hardly know, like a past classmate that you had never had a legit convo with before,  stops you before to ask a simple question about classes, would you stay and talk to her rather than go to class on time if you were interested in her? Also when I said goodbye to him, he said bye and used my name. He also remembered the little details about me from last semester, like my love for gaming and asked if I still play.

Idk, is he being friendly or could he possibly be interested in me? He's a fairly chill guy by the way.

[Guest dazzIe]

my ex and i have been hanging out recently as friends and there were times when he would try to get close to me like try to hold my hand, pull me beside him/hold me from the side and he would flirtatiously touch my knee in the car and massage it lol..i'm not gonna lie but i missed the affection he used to give me but now it just feels weird when he does it. i thought it was awkward how he asked me if i still wear the bracelet he gave me for christmas...i didn't answer directly so i asked him if he still wore my watch i bought for him and he said he does all the time. i thought it was really random that he asked if i still wore the bracelet...plus he asked me if i still have his guitar and if i've been treating it good lol...idk what his intentions are but do you fellas think he is trying to see if i still have feelings for him? is he testing me? idkkkk

[Guest popworld]

Question: This guy i like confessed to me that he likes me and that he wants to date me, I told him I like him too, but the thing is he has a girlfriend. He said that we should be friends for now...I can't be friends with him knowing that I like him and that he likes me. I feel so stupid that I confessed, is he just stringing me along? Would you guys tell someone you like them and wanna date if u had a girlfriend? Please help I'm so confused and don't know what to do

[Guest Squinty]

Question: This guy i like confessed to me that he likes me and that he wants to date me, I told him I like him too, but the thing is he has a girlfriend. He said that we should be friends for now...I can't be friends with him knowing that I like him and that he likes me. I feel so stupid that I confessed, is he just stringing me along? Would you guys tell someone you like them and wanna date if u had a girlfriend? Please help I'm so confused and don't know what to do

Nu uh No! It's not such a good a idea to be 'friends' or even close to a guy whom you have mutual feelings with AND is currently seeing another girl. Girl, you should try to put yourself in his girlfriend's shoes. Regardless of what qualitties he has, a cheating boyfriend is the worst... You will only get hurt and who knows, you might het your reputation ruined .___.

From my experience, just 'being friends', people will stil think youre a couple.

[Guest odddodo]

Question: This guy i like confessed to me that he likes me and that he wants to date me, I told him I like him too, but the thing is he has a girlfriend. He said that we should be friends for now...I can't be friends with him knowing that I like him and that he likes me. I feel so stupid that I confessed, is he just stringing me along? Would you guys tell someone you like them and wanna date if u had a girlfriend? Please help I'm so confused and don't know what to do

Well, he just proved himself to be a scumbag. Sorry that you fell for someone like that. Good guys will have the decency to break up and be single before they confess/ask out another girl.

[Guest lNlHAlRA]

I'm curious, when guys make out with girls and they get a boner, but you just make out, so you don't get to i guess "release" the boner through sex, does it go away after the make out session is done or do you have to "finish"? or does the making out relieve you of the boner?

Uhhh... weird question. But if the guy doesn't release then the boner will just go away.

Okay so... I have another Q because the whole "Confession" thing didn't really work because I haven't had a chance to say, because he's now avoiding me??

What does it mean when, a guy is sitting there, studying, and he sees you.... Then he moves to another study area, completely away from you because he saw you?

I'm so confused because I thought we were somewhat friends... And now he's avoiding me. Something that may have contributed to this was the other day I asked if he wanted to go get some ice-cream together, because it's Summer and hot over here and he said he was busy. I asked what the real reason was and he said that it's awkward when it's us two just hanging.... But the point of me asking to catch up was to get to know each other better anyway.

I just feel like someone in his life  that he doesn't want.... Which I'm confused about because these past couple of months he'd joke around, tease and be nice... and now He's just flat out avoiding me. I haven't changed the way I've acted from day one til now and I also haven't made it blatantly obvious that I'm interested in him or anything either, just casually asking to hang out & get to know each other better.

I'm so confused ><

Guys are weird. Your best bet is to cut your losses and move on to the next guy. If he's playing hard to get then I guess chase him a bit. But it sounds like to me he either heard something from someone or maybe he 'feels' something different about you and wants to avoid you. Another (more dramatic) reason would be maybe there's someone else who's preventing him from hanging out with you and getting to know you better. Maybe his friend likes you and knows that you're interested this guy rather than him and asked your romantic interest to back off. *shrugs* I'm not sure what the reasoning is but if it bothers you, you might have to just walk up to him and confront him and get your answers that way.

Hey guys, quick question~

So if you are going to your next class, but before you enter the building (i'm talking about university btw) a girl you hardly know, like a past classmate that you had never had a legit convo with before,  stops you before to ask a simple question about classes, would you stay and talk to her rather than go to class on time if you were interested in her? Also when I said goodbye to him, he said bye and used my name. He also remembered the little details about me from last semester, like my love for gaming and asked if I still play.

Idk, is he being friendly or could he possibly be interested in me? He's a fairly chill guy by the way.

Probably just being friendly. But that doesn't mean he isn't interested. You should 'test the waters' if you think you'd like to get to know this guy. But to keep your heart at bay, just assume he's a nice guy until you have evidence to prove otherwise.

my ex and i have been hanging out recently as friends and there were times when he would try to get close to me like try to hold my hand, pull me beside him/hold me from the side and he would flirtatiously touch my knee in the car and massage it lol..i'm not gonna lie but i missed the affection he used to give me but now it just feels weird when he does it. i thought it was awkward how he asked me if i still wear the bracelet he gave me for christmas...i didn't answer directly so i asked him if he still wore my watch i bought for him and he said he does all the time. i thought it was really random that he asked if i still wore the bracelet...plus he asked me if i still have his guitar and if i've been treating it good lol...idk what his intentions are but do you fellas think he is trying to see if i still have feelings for him? is he testing me? idkkkk

Break ups are always awkward. Who initiated the break up? What was it about/over? How did it end?

Since you two want to be friends it's probably that you two felt like it wasn't right and decided to end things together. (At least that's the vibe I'm getting). Chances are he probably has feelings for you and wants to see if you still like him too. He might be looking to get back together. Who knows what the reasoning is. All I have to say is in times like these you need to keep your guard up. He may be trying to rekindle the relationship of he might be talking/acting from his pants.

#just sayin

Question: This guy i like confessed to me that he likes me and that he wants to date me, I told him I like him too, but the thing is he has a girlfriend. He said that we should be friends for now...I can't be friends with him knowing that I like him and that he likes me. I feel so stupid that I confessed, is he just stringing me along? Would you guys tell someone you like them and wanna date if u had a girlfriend? Please help I'm so confused and don't know what to do

First off, if I have a girl friend I wouldn't have eyes for anyone else. If I did feel like she was no longer attractive to me (not just physically but her personality got bland or whatever) then I would have to decency to tell her that I feel like we're growing apart and that maybe we just need to take a break. And even if I was looking at another girl while in my relationship it already means I'm thinking about leaving my girlfriend for someone else. Confessing to that other girl makes me a HUGE douchebag when I'm still in a committed relationship. Why would I want to start drama like that? Why? I'll tell you why, because the only reason someone would do that is to string someone along to to hurt the person he's with. Either way, he's a low life scum bag.

#real talk

[Guest MilkBubbleTea]

This has been bothering me for a while now, but I have a couple of close guy friends that I spend a lot of time with. I'm usually the energetic and happy person of the group, i'm optimistic about things so i try not to let things get to me but once in a while I get upset over something and is unable to hide the fact that i'm upset. My guy friends has never comforted me when i am, they kinda just ignore me and be like "ok, that's ur problem". I am not expecting to create a big dramatic scene but just knowing that they care even a little would be nice. The more I think about it, the more upset I become and it creates a vicious cycle. What I want to know is that I'm I being too sensitive? Are most guys like that because they think that we're like them, wanting to be alone when feeling upset? 

[Guest lNlHAlRA]

This has been bothering me for a while now, but I have a couple of close guy friends that I spend a lot of time with. I'm usually the energetic and happy person of the group, i'm optimistic about things so i try not to let things get to me but once in a while I get upset over something and is unable to hide the fact that i'm upset. My guy friends has never comforted me when i am, they kinda just ignore me and be like "ok, that's ur problem". I am not expecting to create a big dramatic scene but just knowing that they care even a little would be nice. The more I think about it, the more upset I become and it creates a vicious cycle. What I want to know is that I'm I being too sensitive? Are most guys like that because they think that we're like them, wanting to be alone when feeling upset? 

I guess it would depend on what the situation was. Like if you got upset because of something I did then I would try and comfort you and tell you I'm sorry. But if you're upset over something that was totally out of my control then what else can I do except just back off and let you deal with it how you want to? I'd probably ask you if you wanted to talk about it. But if you don't feel like sharing then why would I bother you?

I'm not sure if that's the situation or if it's something completely different, but if your guy friends don't care then you should try and let them know that you'd like to be comforted or maybe find some better, more caring, friends.

[Guest dazzIe]

Break ups are always awkward. Who initiated the break up? What was it about/over? How did it end?

Since you two want to be friends it's probably that you two felt like it wasn't right and decided to end things together. (At least that's the vibe I'm getting). Chances are he probably has feelings for you and wants to see if you still like him too. He might be looking to get back together. Who knows what the reasoning is. All I have to say is in times like these you need to keep your guard up. He may be trying to rekindle the relationship of he might be talking/acting from his pants.

#just sayin

Unfortunately, we had no closure. Our relationship started going down hill back in Oct but we held on and tried to make it work. We had an argument around Dec and I left for my cruise in Jan and when I got back we didn't contact each other. We didn't talk for a month and a half after i got back but we are starting to talk again after I texted him about a question..I'm not saying he was the only person to blame for the breakup because a part of it was also mine, but the majority of the fault was his. Maybe he does want to rekindle the relationship but I doubt it because he was the one that walked out. He still wants me to hang out (not having sex lol) with him every other day and I'm fine with that but not knowing why our relationship ended bothers me...I want to ask but I'm too afraid and I don't want to be the one bringing it up..It may seem like I'm still in love with him but he's only a friend and nothing more. Should I ask him or should i leave it in the past?

[Guest lNlHAlRA]

Unfortunately, we had no closure. Our relationship started going down hill back in Oct but we held on and tried to make it work. We had an argument around Dec and I left for my cruise in Jan and when I got back we didn't contact each other. We didn't talk for a month and a half after i got back but we are starting to talk again after I texted him about a question..I'm not saying he was the only person to blame for the breakup because a part of it was also mine, but the majority of the fault was his. Maybe he does want to rekindle the relationship but I doubt it because he was the one that walked out. He still wants me to hang out (not having sex lol) with him every other day and I'm fine with that but not knowing why our relationship ended bothers me...I want to ask but I'm too afraid and I don't want to be the one bringing it up..It may seem like I'm still in love with him but he's only a friend and nothing more. Should I ask him or should i leave it in the past?

Closure is something that would bring a nice end to everything and leave no gray lines.

I figure if you're already set on not getting back together with him then just bring it up and ask him what happened to your guy's relationship and why you two broke up. Just bring it up casually like if the subject somehow take a turn for an opening for the question. (if that made sense?)

Otherwise if you're okay with how things are going and he's not pushing for anything more than friends and you two can just hang out like friends then I think it's fine to just leave things as is. After all, you don't want to keep opening up old scabs, right?

I can't tell you what to do, but for me I like to have the black and white. But that's just me. Do what feels right for you.

[Guest Creamy chicken]

So this guy used to text me everyday, using a lot of <3s. We also used to talk for hours every day. However, we were nothing more than friends. Since a little over a month ago, he hardly ever texts me or use <3s anymore. Overall, he just doesn't seem that enthusiastic to talk to me anymore, but I haven't really done anything differently.

[Guest Andreas1]

So this guy used to text me everyday, using a lot of <3s. We also used to talk for hours every day. However, we were nothing more than friends. Since a little over a month ago, he hardly ever texts me or use <3s anymore. Overall, he just doesn't seem that enthusiastic to talk to me anymore, but I haven't really done anything differently.

He was hoping for more before.. it didn't happen so he lost interest eventually, or maybe he found someone new to text <3's to.

[Guest simmycaro]

Sorry, I'm not sure if this has already been asked because I could not troll through 1000+ pages haha.

1. What are guys' thoughts on phone sex? (Generalized, I know it probably differs from guy to guy).

Oh, and if you're in a long distance relationship temporarily, is phone sex something you'd advise?

2. What do guys think of a girl who approaches them and asks for their number in an unconventional way? Do they find the confidence hot or find it too forward?

What I did once to a guy working at the movies was: when the movie was finished and he was clearing up the area, I went up to him pretending to have lost something, so that I could talk to him alone. Then I cut the my happy poopoo and said, "just kidding, there are no keys. I just wanted an excuse to talk to you. Btw the movie you suggested (sucker punch) sucked! I think a coffee due in lieu of an apology..or your number." In this case it worked, but generally, would this be okay behavior? LOL!

& Finally, How do guys deal with inevitable breakups? Such as one moving away (like going away for college). Does the relationship then intensify in the few remaining months left, or does it kind of disintegrate into a ticking time bomb?

[Guest lNlHAlRA]

Sorry, I'm not sure if this has already been asked because I could not troll through 1000+ pages haha.

1. What are guys' thoughts on phone sex? (Generalized, I know it probably differs from guy to guy).

Oh, and if you're in a long distance relationship temporarily, is phone sex something you'd advise?

2. What do guys think of a girl who approaches them and asks for their number in an unconventional way? Do they find the confidence hot or find it too forward?

What I did once to a guy working at the movies was: when the movie was finished and he was clearing up the area, I went up to him pretending to have lost something, so that I could talk to him alone. Then I cut the my happy poopoo and said, "just kidding, there are no keys. I just wanted an excuse to talk to you. Btw the movie you suggested (sucker punch) sucked! I think a coffee due in lieu of an apology..or your number." In this case it worked, but generally, would this be okay behavior? LOL!

& Finally, How do guys deal with inevitable breakups? Such as one moving away (like going away for college). Does the relationship then intensify in the few remaining months left, or does it kind of disintegrate into a ticking time bomb?

Wowzers, quite a bit of everything in this post.

1. Phone sex -- if it's your thing then go for it. Like you said, everyone is different and different things turn them on. Personally I haven't had phone sex so I wouldn't know how 'awesome' it can be. But at the same time I guess I could understand how it would progress to something like that when in a long distance relationship. (or maybe even doing webcam sex?)

Since it sounds like you're in a relationship right now and you might be moving away to college I would suggest you talk with your partner about everything.

2. I liked the back story and honestly if I was working in the theaters and some girl told me my tastes in movies sucked and that she wanted my number I'd take it as being flirty and happily oblige. Some guys like those little quirky things (myself included). I find nothing wrong with a creative way to approach someone and then ask them out. What you did was awesome and you get an A for effort and execution. (BTW -- I agree, Sucker Punch was too long of a movie with too little story. Honestly I think it was just junk food for the mind and a bunch of hot girls in Japanese Anime styled sailor uniforms fighting in awesome fighting sequences)

I'm not sure what your conditions are but phone sex, cybering, long distance relationship are all an amazement to me. I get that after having seen someone for a long time and then finally knowing the inevitable is going to come I would probably hold on. But 9/10 times LDR don't really work out. The lack of physical touch and being able to see the person when and where you want makes it difficult. Plus there's A LOT of trust that needs to be instilled in both parties.

Talk with your guy and see where he wants to take things. But I promise you, it'll be a lot of hard work and sometimes it'll be all for nothing. So make sure to safeguard yourself and expect the worst. But at the same time be optimistic and pray for the best.

[xAmandaTu]

Hi~ I have a question about approaching guys. I'm almost 17, and I've never approached a guy before. (When I say approaching, I mean introducing myself to a stranger that I would like to be friends with or perhaps, something more than friends) I've always been too afraid to approach a guy, but now I want to change that. I don't want to pass up a good opportunity, but I don't know how to go about it =/ I'll feel so awkward, and I'd have no idea what to say @_@ Any advice? ><

[Guest lNlHAlRA]

Hi~ I have a question about approaching guys. I'm almost 17, and I've never approached a guy before. (When I say approaching, I mean introducing myself to a stranger that I would like to be friends with or perhaps, something more than friends) I've always been too afraid to approach a guy, but now I want to change that. I don't want to pass up a good opportunity, but I don't know how to go about it =/ I'll feel so awkward, and I'd have no idea what to say @_@ Any advice? ><

As strange as it sounds.. start practicing saying whatever comes to your mind in the mirror. Just start talking with yourself and come up with random answers/reactions that guys might have. Then try and see if you can counter that. Getting used to talking and saying random things off the top of your head is half the battle. Get comfortable doing that alone then maybe try it with people whom you know but aren't quite friends with yet. See how that goes and slowly branch out to other guys.

If you need better examples feel free to PM me.

[Guest akia_025]

The idea that my suitor has his first heartbreak/love just last October 2010 and he's not a virgin anymore has been bothering me. This kept me from committing in a relationship with him. Sometimes, I trust him. Sometimes, I don't. But our common friends vouch for him telling me that's he's really serious. I don't know what to do. :|

[Guest hiswendy]

Quick question. Please and thank you!

-.-

How would you react to it if someone from your past who broke your heart comes back and apologizes and tries to explain her side of what happened years ago? Would you appreciate it? Would you think absolutely nothing of it? Would you get mad that she's trying to resurrect something that died ages ago?

She's not trying to get back with you or anything, but her biggest regret is hurting you, and she wants to make that right even if she's late. How would you feel about that?

[Guest larcc]

I hooked up with a friend at a party. The next day I confronted him about it, and he asked for my opinion, and I said we could forget about it or try going on a date. The truth is that I started liking him a while back and was hoping he'd say date, but he said sorry and that he really didn't want to ruin the friendship (line sound familiar?)

I thought he was just putting me down as nicely as he could... but I find he has weird hot/cold situations. One day when he talks he'll be staring straight into my eyes like he does everyone else, and then all of a sudden he had a period where he would NOT make eye contact with me and looked nervous and would turn away at 500 miles per hour if I caught him staring. After that, he kind of got better, but his feet always seem really fidgety when we sit next to each other at meal hall.

There was also a time we were eating at Burger King and his friend spilt Fruitopia all over his and my roommate's side of the table and she ran out of the table while he quickly moved in my direction, squishing against me (it was a round booth table). They cleaned the mess, it dried, roommate came back, but he didn't move for the rest of the night  and left his leg and food pressed against my right side when there was clearly space for him to make some distance.

1 - I'm just really confused... is there some interest there at all?

2 - And if there was interest... would he be too nervous to make a move because he rejected me before?

3 - Also... I just finished my first year of university and came home today. That means it's summer and I probably won't see him 'til September again. If he did like me, will his feelings change over the summer by not seeing me?

Thanks to anyone who replies to this