Can't seem to get over this guy

[Meezu]

Alright so last November, I met a guy (he is 21 and so am I) at one of the university clubs we were in and he seemed like a really good/nice guy. I was really interested in getting to know him better. A couple weeks later we were both at a a nightclub event hosted by the same school club we were in. That same night we went to get something to eat and then after we went for a walk but what I didn't know was that we were actually walking to his house. So we get to his place and I was uncomfortable to go inside (he said to me it wasn't about sex) and I saw a bunch of people there that I knew so I figured it was okay. He showed me around the place and showed me his room.  Before I knew it he playfully pulled me on top of him and I knew what he wanted to do. I had no idea what to do at all and I didn't really know what was going on but I knew I liked this guy. Prior to that night I only ever kissed a guy (a peck), never had a boyfriend, and am still a virgin. Anyway, I felt like leaving because it didn't seem right but I also felt I should stay because everyone else was doing this type of thing and I was kind of curious, also I wanted him to like me. Looking back on this now, it's naïveness at its finest. We didn't have sex that night but we made out for a while and I slept over. He walked me home early the next morning. Since that night we started to see each other every so often to do the same thing but every time we would do more and more until the point where we were doing everything other than actual intercourse. When he'd come over we'd watch movies, chit chat a bit, help with homework sometimes and then get down to business lol. It went on for a few months, and I told him why I didn't want to have sex with him and he stopped messaging me, so I deleted him from my phone. I thought he'd be out of my life for good but then we saw each other a month later at another night club event and he came up to me and we talked for a bit also saying his phone was acting up so he wasn't able to message me. I didn't completely believe him but we ended up resuming our "relationship" anyway. That same week he starting making plans for us to hang out but would cancel them saying he forgot or chose to do something else and not bother to tell me until I would ask. He did that 3 times in a row, and I decided to end whatever it was that we had (again by deleting him from my phone). 
We never really spoke about what either of us wanted from the "relationship." I think I kept doing the things we did because I thought eventually he would like me if he didn't already and I liked him and I knew I had to do those things for him to stick around (mind you I did enjoy it too). At the time I thought I was being smart and preventing myself from getting hurt because I wasn't having intercourse with him but I got hurt anyway. It's been 9 months since this "relationship" ended and I still think about him like everyday. I saw him recently because school just started and we spoke a bit just about school, but part of me still wants him back and I don't know why. How do I get over this guy? I feel like a complete idiot and for doing this to myself and I hate myself more and more everyday because of it. I just don't know what to do and it's taking over. I was thinking maybe I should contact him and talk about what happened - something we never did while we were together. I just don't want to make myself look more foolish than I already have.I'm not sorry for ending it but the way I did was immature (I deleted him from BBM lol) I guess I just didn't want to deal with it. 

[Guest bona fide*]

I wouldn't bother keeping in contact with him. It's obvious that the two of you are seeking different things: him (purely sex), you (a relationship). If he was interested in more, he wouldn't have cut contact with you the moment you revealed why you didn't want to have sleep with him (that phone excuse was just a ploy to keep you from thinking that he was just stringing you along). Keep yourself busy with other activities - eventually you'll find someone worth your time.  

[Guest rosebanks123]

I think he's not ready for any relationship. If he has been then he should be responsible in remembering your schedules. What a lack of commitment.

[Ninshark]

:/ too bad you didn't end up with him, sounds like it could've gone well. It's ok though, it's hard to get over people, my friend struggled to get over his ex for OVER a year, kinda ruined him too, heh, and he got really sappy. Just don't let it affect you too much, lingering thoughts are annoying, but not life-threatening if you control them.

[mintcracker]

He used you. Saw you as a thing to keep him from too much boredom. He wouldn't have gotten exclusive with you cos you didn't set boundaries and you let him be in total control. You need to work hard on standing your ground and try not to get physical so fast. He's a richard simmons, but he was definitely a good learning experience ( in the sense you now know you have to demand respect). Be strong, I know you're hung up over him cos you're inexperienced; this will pass in time.