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Guest vivdrkblm

Giving your number to a stranger?

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Guest vivdrkblm

I'm usually not a person who posts threads..just once a while comment-er, but this has been bothering me for a while and I want the opinion of both genders. If this certain topic has already been discussed.....don't whine; it's a bit different.
So, I live near campus and I've always found at the school cafe or library studying. Lately, a noticeable amount of guys have been coming up to me and asking me for my number. Long ago when I was a young and thought anyone from the opposite gender actually talking to me was like my last chance to do so... I gave my number to anyone who asked. But now...I'm in college and I live in an.. adult world now lol. Guys are more approachful and direct..so I learned that I have to be more careful in who I give my number to unless I want to waste my texts(sadly not unlimited..) and become unnecessarily annoyed by texts from people I don't remember.
Now, when guys ask me for my number...I say "I don't give my number out to strangers"...with a kind polite smile :)But, most guys think I'm rejecting them and walk off. Other guys think I'm just serious and again..walk away. I'm hoping a guy comes along and says "how about we change that" and ask me what I'm doing that night....CHEESY I KNOW. 
Anyways, isn't normal logical behavior for anyone to not give out their number to a stranger?(not trying to be offensive to those who do). I'll be more than happy to have a small conversation with them over coffee or invite them to an event I'm going to. Knowing just their name and age doesn't really eliminate the "stranger" aspect of the person. Yes, it might one day put me in an awkward situations if I misread the person and invited them to hang out and I end up not wanting to give my number/ But, it's life...and a huge campus(2 campuses actually) so it's unlikely to ever come across again. My people reading skills have not been challenged yet thus far...all those years of people watching and not interacting hahaha
My friends who think otherwise says that they only ask or give their number to get to know the person by exchanging texts and contacting them. Do you guys think so too? To me, it's like adding someone on Facebook just because you know his/her name. It's not like it's impossible to...I mean, our parents met each other without cell phones back then. How come now it's 'harder'? 
So, guys, do you guys take it as an automatic rejection? and girls, is there an error in my thought process pertaining to this?



...maybe this is why i have no boyfriend.........

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Guest bona fide*

vivdrkblm said:Now, when guys ask me for my number...I say "I don't give my number out to strangers"...with a kind polite smile :)But, most guys think I'm rejecting them and walk off. Other guys think I'm just serious and again..walk away. 

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Guest

if you are in a generally safe and social area, you are single, and you are somewhat attracted to the person asking (dont lead them on). than it is ok to give out your number.
remember, 99% of these asking for number out of random things is flirting, its not "lets be friends" so if they got no chance, dont string them along.
which means you will probably give out your number to a couple people that really interest you which is natural... but if you get a reputation for being easy to flirt with and easy to get phone number, guys especially in college and high school will assume ur easy and u sleep with everyone u meet. it will hurt your relationship with the one guy who actually matters later on if u meet him in college.
remember. balance. if ur really into it take a chance. just keep ur good name in check so that when the right guy comes along, he doens't pass u over cuz he thinks ur not a serious girl and just wanna sleep around. 

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Guest leelee.

I don't really know much in the "boy" department, but just be really careful about who you give your phone number to. Most people are not what they seem to be (not trying to scare ya, but it's the truth). Do you use a smartphone? If so, I totally recommend getting a Google Voice number. You can give those guys that number instead of your actual cell number, and it's possible to route phone calls from Google Voice to your cell phone. You can even send free text messages with it!
Anyways, I agree with @bona fide*. If the guy doesn't even try to strike up a convo with you before asking for your number... I'd be a bit suspicious. You could say "I'm not comfortable with giving out my phone number to strangers, but I like talking to you. Do you wanna hang out sometime?" I think that seems friendly enough and shows that you aren't rejecting them.

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Guest rosebanks123

As what our parents says when we were small: never talk to strangers. Isn't it strange to think that we trust our numbers and lives to strangers?

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Guest vivdrkblm

Oh interesting. Never heard of Google Voice..need to look into it 0_0  I'm very open so I don't have any suspicions when people approach me. I haven't even considered how I could get a bad rep from misinterpretation. I definitely need to be more careful...thanks to everyone who posted :)

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Guest Mentor

vivdrkblm said: I'm usually not a person who posts threads..just once a while comment-er, but this has been bothering me for a while and I want the opinion of both genders. If this certain topic has already been discussed.....don't whine; it's a bit different.
So, I live near campus and I've always found at the school cafe or library studying. Lately, a noticeable amount of guys have been coming up to me and asking me for my number. Long ago when I was a young and thought anyone from the opposite gender actually talking to me was like my last chance to do so... I gave my number to anyone who asked. But now...I'm in college and I live in an.. adult world now lol. Guys are more approachful and direct..so I learned that I have to be more careful in who I give my number to unless I want to waste my texts(sadly not unlimited..) and become unnecessarily annoyed by texts from people I don't remember.
Now, when guys ask me for my number...I say "I don't give my number out to strangers"...with a kind polite smile :)But, most guys think I'm rejecting them and walk off. Other guys think I'm just serious and again..walk away. I'm hoping a guy comes along and says "how about we change that" and ask me what I'm doing that night....CHEESY I KNOW.

   Do what you think is right. If they really have a genuine interest in you then they would seek other methods of contacting you in a neutral area. If they think you're worth it then they won't mind the wait.

Anyways, isn't normal logical behavior for anyone to not give out their number to a stranger?(not trying to be offensive to those who do). I'll be more than happy to have a small conversation with them over coffee or invite them to an event I'm going to. Knowing just their name and age doesn't really eliminate the "stranger" aspect of the person. Yes, it might one day put me in an awkward situations if I misread the person and invited them to hang out and I end up not wanting to give my number/ But, it's life...and a huge campus(2 campuses actually) so it's unlikely to ever come across again. My people reading skills have not been challenged yet thus far...all those years of people watching and not interacting hahaha
My friends who think otherwise says that they only ask or give their number to get to know the person by exchanging texts and contacting them. Do you guys think so too? To me, it's like adding someone on Facebook just because you know his/her name. It's not like it's impossible to...I mean, our parents met each other without cell phones back then. How come now it's 'harder'? 
So, guys, do you guys take it as an automatic rejection? and girls, is there an error in my thought process pertaining to this?



...maybe this is why i have no boyfriend.........

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Guest JaruJaru

I take it as an immediate rejection, if I'm chatting with a girl and I have to leave for class, work, or whatever. It automatically shows me that you don't want any more contact with me after this. You talk about how you're parents didn't need to meet without cellphones and such, but look at the age we're in. Everything has advanced so much since what the 60-80's? Meaning the ways in which we interact with each other change as well. 

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Guest echoism

I usually use the "I don't give my number to strangers" line as a rejection, and most people take it as such. If I were actually interested though, I would try to get them to stay and chat for a bit, then if we hit it off, give them my number. Or, I would set up a day/time to meet without giving them my number.

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I think it better to be safe than sorry, once you give your number out they can harrass you anytime, it's best to only give your number to a few highly trusted friends or aquaintences, never to random strangers

he could be one of those weird stalker types that wont leave you alone

by not giving your number it gives you more privacy and puts you in control

and if the guy takes it as rejection thats his problem

I try to never give my full name address, phone number to just anybody, because with the internet, these days they can easily do background checks and pry into your private life , thats why you shouldnt give out private info unless it's for work or something important

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to make them go away just give them a wrong number or fake name & number

wont matter anyways , your probably not going to see them again

I wont even give my phone number to stores when they ask for my number, I make up a number

because this keeps them from using tele marketers to try and sell you something later

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Guest showoff

If a person just walks up to another person randomly, doesn't say a single word, then asks for the telephone number, then that's creepy even if it's a supermodel asking.  There has to be some amount of small talk/getting to know you prior to asking for the number in order to establish that rapport/interest/etc.

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Guest georgieboy

Well if your looking for that kind of guy, the kind of guy who is tenacious, then use that line. But yeah that line is a buzzkill, think about how you would feel if a guy said I don't give my number to strangers. Would you think he was flirting with you. So yeah, if you really want the guy to continue after that line send him a positive message like touching his arm, flirting with him, or just say ditch the line.

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Guest bombb_

i might be jealous; you must be super pretty for so many guys to have the balls to just walk right up and ask.

i say just give it to people you find that you are attracted to and go from there.

or be nerdy and give them an email (not one linked to your facebook or anything, just in case). (;

it's curious that you aren't wary of strangers approaching you, what if he's a serial killer?

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