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[ra123]

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[Guest yoon001]

If you tell yourself that you can't do anything about it, you're belief that you have no power, reinforces itself and makes the situation worse. 
The author Stephen Covey mentions an idea of circle theory. Basically, there are two circles. A circle of concern, and a circle of influence. The circle of concern consists of everything that you are concerned about. In this case, it is the relationship that has already ended.  Within that circle, is a smaller one called the circle of influence, which harbors things that you can influence or change. 
If you believe that something is outside of your circle of influence, then IT IS. If you keep believing that the way you feel is out of your control, then your mind continues to act according to what you are thinking. It will keep doing so, until you realize that it is actually within the circle of what YOU can influence. 
The majority of them time when we think we have "fallen" for someone, it's usually because we have "fallen" for a type of ideal in our head about what that person represents to our subconscious mind. 
Look back on the relationship and think about how she made you feel, and if you can relate that to something that happened in the past. Most times when going through breakups, we often miss the validation that people give us as opposed to the person them self. 
Most of the time, a woman will bring out an oedipal mother figure type of regression and that is why we become dependent on that external validation.  
Once we figure this out, our "love" for her disappears. 
Think about it and get back to me bru. I can't say I know exactly how you feel, but I can relate to being in your situation. 
Talk soon.

[Guest mularice]

Crappy situation. I'm not gonna be gentle so if you're looking for a passive answer don't read this.

I want to shake you and tell you that she was the selfish one and that that isn't how you react when someone you love has things to deal with. She knew you were struggling with other things and financially you were strained - yet she wants a ring. Hello? Priorities. I'm not sure how any one can treat someone the way she has behaved. Yeah she helped you out but what she said to you wasn't encouragement it was just putting you down.

As to you needing to move on, everyone takes their own time, be it a day or a year. Y'know what, you may not even ever fully get over her as right now you don't even seem to see how badly her behaviour was?! Perhaps you will never let her take some of the responsibility.

You can't do anything - you say you have tried dating other girls but it's not helped and you keep thinking of her. Unless you FORCE yourself to move on you will just drive yourself insane.

To put it into context:

You were there for her when she needed you.
She wanted a ring even though you had bigger financial responsibilities.
She dumped you via e-mail.
She refuses to give you closure/talk to you/see you.
She is apparently seeing someone else.

If you need any more motivation for changing those loving feelings into something less amorous then I seriously worry for you.

[inxomnia]

What's holding you back is the fact that you thought she was your soulmate and that you probably Would find no other love better than what you had. Let go of that thought. As cliche as it is, there are billions of people out there. She was just one of the people who crossed your life and left a mark. But she left of her own will and you can't force someone who wants to leave to stay.

Focus on what you currently have and what you aspire to have. Leave the past behind because once you throw away some of that baggage then you will be ready to meet someone else. And you will meet someone else who is right for you. I mean, at some point in time, people who are divorced believed they were marrying their soulmate as well. Yet how do you determine that They really are? You can't, and that's because the concept of soulmates is elusive and socially abused by the media to spin yarns, feed us fairytales and make money. Yes, love exists, but in many forms and can exist between many people.

[BEBE_AN]

i can't help but think that she might have thought you were selfish because you put your family before your relationship with her. you mentioned you moved overseas to better your family's financial problems. did you consider her in this decision when it was made since you guys were engaged? your decision no longer only affected you, but also her. since you were going through a rough patch, she must have felt neglected and thought she was just second to your needs and your family's needs. then again, in your defense you lost your father so she should have been the one to support you. just think of it this way, would you want someone who couldn't even be there for you at your worst? she dumped your richard simmons through email. does she really deserve you at your best now? you deserve better  : )