Am I a bad person?

[Guest manun]

Making a girl fall in love with me

Hi everyone! To make the story simple,

I went to an exchange trip and then this girl started to like me. I didnt like her at all first and she was really into me.

Then one day we went to this club and ppl made me drunk, so of course I made out with her because she went to me and then we had sex.

For 4 days we would kiss, have sex and be with eachother. In the end i enjoyed it because we seemed like a couple.

But now shes back to her country and Im back to mine, but she has fallen in love with me alot.

She wants me to meet her and even broke up with her ex-boi friend completly. She also wants to talk to me and has told everyone around her about me.

Im asian, I have always imagined myself with living with someone with asian traditions and understanding my culture.

This girl is in other hand wild and is really liberal, shes not ugly and studying to become a doctor. But the thing is that I really dont know what to do.

I feel like maybe long distance relationship is not so good after just 4 days and Im not even sure how much I like her (if I even do) and now shes in love with me.

Im a nice guy and never want to hurt anyone, but i didnt like her at all from beginning and it started out with me being drunk...

[Guest kitty_N]

Do you honestly and truly like her? It doesn't seem so.... but i could be wrong.

however, if you don't, its better to not pursue anything else with her. her heart will break but she will survive, dragging it on longer will only create more problems later.

Are you a bad person? I don't think so.... I'm sure she got as much enjoyment from your time together as you did. But from here on, be honest with her and yourself, being drunk is just a lame excuse

[OMGAWD]

go talk to her. progress slowly and see how things go i guess.

[Guest sus]

yea if u didnt like her

u basicalli used her for sex...

sad but yea best tell her ur not interested..

[Guest Kalifia]

Yes, you are a bad person because you chose not to avoid getting drunk and therefore the alcohol controlled you. Now you're stuck in a sticky situation, the only thing you can do now is to tell her honestly that you don't like her and that you were drunk at that time, without sounding harsh.

[Guest writerstale]

Lol @ you saying people made you drunk. Unless someone put a gun or semtex up to you and told you to drink they didn't make you do anything. Like you said yourself she's wild and not Asian. So you were just going with the opportunity that was there, having a good time, and you already had the game plan of it just being a few multiple nights of just sex. Your story sounds like one of my friends who did this to a girl except he had a relationship with her, but cheated on her.

I'm not trying to bash you, but don't call yourself a nice guy, because that makes us true nice guys look bad. Best thing I can say is be honest with her. Tell her, "look gotta be honest with you I was just trying to f*** and leave you. I don't see any hope of us being together because you're not Asian, you're wild, and liberal." Tell her just like you told us on Soompi because she deserves at least that much. We all make mistakes or do at least one thing we're not proud of, but don't make what you did a habit.

[Guest Rini88]

Uff That's a hard one, first you need to figure out for yourself what you feel about her, and if the long distance is worth it to you.

And if your not interrested in her then you should tell her! Instead of leaving her hanging to believe that you have the same feelings for her, as she has for you.

[Guest kidfromkorea]

well that depends.

if you said "oh baby im in love with you, break up with your boyfriend and be my girl" just to sleep with her then yes.

but if she liked you based on physical attraction, and she did all the seducing, then not really.

[Guest manun]

It was actually she who seduced me and made me drunk... as strange it sounds. Im not blaming the alcohol, but she wanted it more than me (I had no intrest) and she was not drunk in anyway. I didnt even force her, it was she who kissed me and she tried to seduce me all week.

I am a nice guy, i didnt use her for sex. I actually care for her, i talk to her and she feels lost but when she speaks with me she tell me she feels alot better. I didnt use it to get her, she basicly fell for my personality and looks. This is my first time, Im usually nice and caring for people, i asked her if it was her plan to make me drunk and she said yes. Even if we didnt have sex and she was unknown person i would care for her.

I really like her but I didnt think it would be like that. She took my virginity in a bad way...I was always imagining it would be more romantic and beautiful (and actually with someone i loved alot).

Also its not like I told her to fall for me, I like her alot but making up these crazy plans and calling me husband is a bit way too much for me. Ive only known her for 4 days and during those time we did other stuff than knowing eachother...

[Guest flipz]

Option 1:

This thread -> print screen -> send it to her

Option 2:

This thread -> print screen -> read it over -> tell her what you told us

Option 3:

Go for it and see where it goes

[Guest Kalifia]

Option 1:

This thread -> print screen -> send it to her

Option 2:

This thread -> print screen -> read it over -> tell her what you told us

Option 3:

Go for it and see where it goes

I strongly agree with these options, especially Option 1. Doing it this way would also be less harsh for her.

[Guest writerstale]

It was actually she who seduced me and made me drunk... as strange it sounds. Im not blaming the alcohol, but she wanted it more than me (I had no intrest) and she was not drunk in anyway. I didnt even force her, it was she who kissed me and she tried to seduce me all week.

I am a nice guy, i didnt use her for sex. I actually care for her, i talk to her and she feels lost but when she speaks with me she tell me she feels alot better. I didnt use it to get her, she basicly fell for my personality and looks. This is my first time, Im usually nice and caring for people, i asked her if it was her plan to make me drunk and she said yes. Even if we didnt have sex and she was unknown person i would care for her.

I really like her but I didnt think it would be like that. She took my virginity in a bad way...I was always imagining it would be more romantic and beautiful (and actually with someone i loved alot).

Also its not like I told her to fall for me, I like her alot but making up these crazy plans and calling me husband is a bit way too much for me. Ive only known her for 4 days and during those time we did other stuff than knowing eachother...

Okay... so you're blaming her instead. That's a good setup to call her liberal and wild; then to blame her after wards. I've seen a few of my friends try that. Once again she didn't put a gun or semtex to you and say drink d*** you. No offense but you're not a victim in this scenario dude. It takes two to tango. Which takes me back to hey I didn't feel like being a virgin, the opportunity came, and you went with it. It sounds like when someone walks into ten thousand dollars, and runs off with it. Just calling it the way it is.

[Guest H i k a r i]

I don't think you're a bad person, but just made a stupid decision. (She made a stupid decision too.) You shouldn't have slept with her and she shouldn't have slept with you. Both of you are to blame. Anyway, if you think that there is something there then you should try it and see how it goes. But if you don't think it's going to go anywhere then tell her so. (of course, tell her in a nice way.)

[Guest HERMIT]

Are you a bad person?

Fortunately, the jury's still out because your story hasn't exactly "ended" yet, hasn't it?

But it all depends on how you feel about your situation first. Right now, it seems like you are a conscientious person that wants to hone up to the responsibilities your actions have wrought - but that you actually don't know what direction you want to go. I sense a certain subtext in your post where although you don't really see her being the 'ideal girl' of your dreams, you almost feel like being obligated to considering a LDR because you simply don't want to hurt her feelings. But as chivalrous as it seems, the fact of the matter is that you have to stay true to yourself and how you feel. If you really don't like her and don't see yourself being happy with the thought of being with her, then immediately cut off ties and respectfully explain your reasons to her and apologize for the misleading actions/signals you gave her. You have to have courage to take responsibility for the resulting fallout of your actions. Don't think that you might be able to take the easy way out by going ahead with a LDR simply because you are scared of hurting her feelings. If you go through with that, you aren't doing yourself or the girl any favors. Then you would be a bad person.

[Guest manun]

Are you a bad person?

Fortunately, the jury's still out because your story hasn't exactly "ended" yet, hasn't it?

But it all depends on how you feel about your situation first. Right now, it seems like you are a conscientious person that wants to hone up to the responsibilities your actions have wrought - but that you actually don't know what direction you want to go. I sense a certain subtext in your post where although you don't really see her being the 'ideal girl' of your dreams, you almost feel like being obligated to considering a LDR because you simply don't want to hurt her feelings. But as chivalrous as it seems, the fact of the matter is that you have to stay true to yourself and how you feel. If you really don't like her and don't see yourself being happy with the thought of being with her, then immediately cut off ties and respectfully explain your reasons to her and apologize for the misleading actions/signals you gave her. You have to have courage to take responsibility for the resulting fallout of your actions. Don't think that you might be able to take the easy way out by going ahead with a LDR simply because you are scared of hurting her feelings. If you go through with that, you aren't doing yourself or the girl any favors. Then you would be a bad person.

Thank you! Ur post actually is the one who tries to help me. I have to see, I told her I would meet her up in short time to see how I feel. But like you said, im a conscientious person, i dont want to hurt other ppls feelings but then sometimes you gotta do it if it doesnt feel rite.

[damyoungji]

For 4 days we would kiss, have sex and be with eachother. In the end i enjoyed it because we seemed like a couple.

Im a nice guy and never want to hurt anyone, but i didnt like her at all from beginning and it started out with me being drunk...

Based on those two sentences alone, it seems like you do not like her for who she is, but the fact that she was willing to sleep with you. Like you said, you slept with her because you were drunk, and then you enjoyed it because of the physical contact. It seems to me that it is the physical part that is what makes you hesitant as to whether to enter a long distance relationship with her.. but considering how it is a long distance relationship, you are not sure if you want to enter it since she is not physically there.

Does that make you a bad person? In general, no. But for leading her own when you were not even sure of your own feelings? Yes. Sort them out before you give her an answer.

[Guest cowlover]

what does your heart say? take the chance you only live once