Boyfriends and their female friends

[Guest biforever]

Don't be too worried about this. Those other girls are just "other girls". If your relationship is strong, you will be the one he turns to, the one who he shares things with, the one who receives the most love.

I know how you feel but eventually he won't be as close to the girls because he'll just drift closer to you and rely on you more. That's just how relationships are.

[damyoungji]

I understand how you feel. My latest crush was on a friend who is friendly with everyone, and he treats a lot of girls really well. Sometimes he sent me mixed messages, and he will say stuff like, "you know I like you, right?" But I doubt that he means it that way, and he will say how he likes a lot of girls. He is the type who jokes around a lot, so it is hard to read him. I talked to one of our mutual friends about it before, and she said that his jokes about liking a lot of girls is not serious.. and that other friends of ours say that he is just saying it for fun. Regardless of whether they are right or not, I forced myself to stop liking him. I have been in a similar situation before: liking a friend who is friendly with a lot of girls and treat all of them well. That friend of mines was worse though. He treated me like his girlfriend even in public (school and outside of school), but it turns out that he was secretly dating a girl from another school. Nobody knew until the last day of school! That was when he decided to let everyone know, despite the fact that he would not let me go throughout the entire school year.. when he knew that I liked him as a friend, and as more than just a friend. So after that incident, when it comes to guys who are just too friendly, I force myself not to like them. I do not want history to repeat itself again.

[Guest GwendolynGuillotine]

My boyfriend don't see gender when he befriends people, I'm the same way too. I'm not bothered by some of his female friends at all. They're all fairly attractive (good character), but I know that he is not interested in them like that, or the other way around(some lesbians, and some taken). Even if one of them happened to adore my boyfriend, I'm sure he can handle that kind of situation on his own.

I end up befriending/ learning about few of my boyfriend's female friends. Just like most of his guy friends, they're awesome as well.

I just noticed that some of his ladies friends are/were in relationships with his manly friends. It's like twice of double date night if we all were to join together.

[Guest ly*chee]

My boyfriend has a lot of female friends too, since he's one of those nice guys that just get's along with everyone. It never used to bother me until one of his closer female friends would talk smack about me to him while I wasn't around or continuously saying break up with her, or "why do you do all these nice things for her? she's not even worth it". I know this because he tells me what they talk about.

Some of his female friends I did become friends with and there was nothing to be jealous about since they were being supportive in him finding a girlfriend all these years. There's only that one girl that I really couldn't support his friendship with, I've told him that, and I've told him how she never talks to me so she shouldn't be saying those things without getting to know me. Of course they're still friends even now, but not as close as before because he understands she stepped over the line.

[Guest Pinkychan]

I'v had this problem befor......

befor my bf learned that treating girls all the same equally isn't the smartest thing to do when you have a gf.. you dont treat your gf the same way as other firends taht are girls....

You might find it easier, if you ask your bf to hang out with a group of friends rather than jsut ONE girl ONE ON ONE...

cuz im so not okay with it... ESPECIALLY if hes liked the girl befor OR I'm insecure and uneasy with a specific person.

LESSON: don't let this be you. get to know them, let them be your friends as well. They probably want to know you too.

what happens if that "other" does not want to talk to you, or show intrest in getting to know you. it doesnt make anything better ESPECIALLY when they act all nice and kind and say "bye" when your boyfriend is around... what can you do about it..

[Guest lilian21]

I think he thinks I want him to do something about it, like not hanging out with those girls anymore.

But I won't forbid him hanging out with them, 'cause that's just bean pie and wrong.

So what exactly do you want him to do to make you feel better? Stop being social, curl up into a ball and only associate himself with you? How can he change things when you (as far as I can tell from your post) don't even tell him the steps he can do to alleviate the situation.

I've been there before, had that feeling pretty much with all my bf's. For my earlier bf's , I ignored it since i thought that those girls won't pose a "threat". Well in almost all of those situations, my ex would get together with his female friend right after we broke up. So for my current relationship, I just layed down the ground rules. NO hanging out one on one with females, NO female best friends, and NO I do not like your female friends unless they're lesbians or tomboys or already taken lol. It probably sounds like i'm a psycho, but at least I'm straight forward about it. My s/o felt uncomfortable at first, but he eventually gave in. Plus, I respect his wishes also in terms of my male friends. I don't believe that a male and female can be "best" friends without something else going on. Plus, I think that my s/o should be my best friend, and vice versa. If we have an argument and he comes running to some girl, we have a problem.

[starrynight288]

You just have to trust him, he obviously cares about you if he's actually considering to stop hanging out with his girl-friends. You said so yourself, that he's not that kind of guy and if something were to happen with one of his girl-friends it would have happened a long time ago. Don't worry about him, just tell him you trust him and try hard to not worry or be jealous