[drama 2005] Peculiar Woman, Peculiar Man. 별난여자, 별난&#45224

[Guest Mme. De Giry]

It's just that, in general, she is better than Jongnam in all of the qualities that makes you a better wife, mother, daughter-in-law, sister-in-law etc. Not only that, she has better conditions in every respect.

I hope I don't sound like a snob, but these things are important.

Marriage is no joke, and there are definitely realistic considerations to be had.

And yes, the very fact that Jongnam has never had a chance to learn these things is precisely why the elders are objecting to this. (at least in the beginning. Nara has just gone crazy now.)

There's a saying in Korea that you don't marry the person, but the family.

Marriage is not just a union between a man and a woman.

It's a union between families. At least that's how Koreans look at marriage.

So, the family that one comes from (or lack thereof) is an extremely important thing to consider in a marriage. Koreans have some things against marrying orphans not because they have some kind of 'bad blood' running in them, but because they were not educated in a proper family setting.

Notice how Byeongdo is wary of 'playboy family' rather than a playboy? That's what this is about.

And I believe there is a wisdom in that.

Oh dear... All I can say is I'm glad I'm not Korean. Although I think it's like that in every culture (at least to some extent); it's just that from what you've written---well, it sounds just a little bit extreme than what the "norm" is. I know it's important to also consider the family background (Cos hey, who wants to marry into a bunch of psychos?), but to actually ban someone (as what Nara is doing to SH and what JO used to do to JN) from marrying who they love is downright ridiculous. Let them live their lives! They're already adults!

So, yeah, Suckhyeon and Jongnam love each other and that's immutable, but setting love aside, I would marry a girl like Haein any day over Jongnam.

Really? I bet moms all over the world would love to have you for their child! But isn't that what marriage should be about in the first place---love? I always thought of it as a fated, blessed match---not some kind of business arrangement.

Well, that's what a lot of people would think, because it's pitiable to see them suffer as they do now.

But I think a true story of poetic justice should have rewards and punishments come at the end.

To give Suckhyeon and Jongnam only rewards at the end would be like saying what they've been doing is good, that they were enduring hardships for the sake of something good.

But that's the part where I may not necesasrily agree with a lot of people.

What they are doing right now is not just good. So I guess the difference between you and me comes from that.

Well, suffering is relative, as is everything. To me, to have followed your heart and stayed true to yourself and get punished for that is suffering enough.

Oh, I also believe in love that endures a lifetime. But that's not the same kind of love as the one you have at the beginning.

That's precisely the 'affectionate love' that I was talking about. That definitely could, and does, last a lifetime and more.

Again, I hope I don't sound materialistic, but I don't believe in the love of destiny.

I agree with you on this one! I would really LOVE for the producers to show us SK and JN's life 50 years from now to show that their love isn't just fueled by mere "rebellion" but is founded on something greater---cos I believe it is. It's so nice to be able to share opinions!

[Guest Mme. De Giry]

It's just that, in general, she is better than Jongnam in all of the qualities that makes you a better wife, mother, daughter-in-law, sister-in-law etc. Not only that, she has better conditions in every respect.

I hope I don't sound like a snob, but these things are important.

Marriage is no joke, and there are definitely realistic considerations to be had.

And yes, the very fact that Jongnam has never had a chance to learn these things is precisely why the elders are objecting to this. (at least in the beginning. Nara has just gone crazy now.)

There's a saying in Korea that you don't marry the person, but the family.

Marriage is not just a union between a man and a woman.

It's a union between families. At least that's how Koreans look at marriage.

So, the family that one comes from (or lack thereof) is an extremely important thing to consider in a marriage. Koreans have some things against marrying orphans not because they have some kind of 'bad blood' running in them, but because they were not educated in a proper family setting.

Notice how Byeongdo is wary of 'playboy family' rather than a playboy? That's what this is about.

And I believe there is a wisdom in that.

Oh dear... All I can say is I'm glad I'm not Korean. Although I think it's like that in every culture (at least to some extent); it's just that from what you've written---well, it sounds just a little bit extreme than what the "norm" is. I know it's important to also consider the family background (Cos hey, who wants to marry into a bunch of psychos?), but to actually ban someone (as what Nara is doing to SH and what JO used to do to JN) from marrying who they love is downright ridiculous. Let them live their lives! They're already adults!

So, yeah, Suckhyeon and Jongnam love each other and that's immutable, but setting love aside, I would marry a girl like Haein any day over Jongnam.

Really? I bet moms all over the world would love to have you for their child! But isn't that what marriage should be about in the first place---love? I always thought of it as a fated, blessed match---not some kind of business arrangement.

Well, that's what a lot of people would think, because it's pitiable to see them suffer as they do now.

But I think a true story of poetic justice should have rewards and punishments come at the end.

To give Suckhyeon and Jongnam only rewards at the end would be like saying what they've been doing is good, that they were enduring hardships for the sake of something good.

But that's the part where I may not necesasrily agree with a lot of people.

What they are doing right now is not just good. So I guess the difference between you and me comes from that.

Well, suffering is relative, as is everything. To me, to have followed your heart and stayed true to yourself and get punished for that is suffering enough.

Oh, I also believe in love that endures a lifetime. But that's not the same kind of love as the one you have at the beginning.

That's precisely the 'affectionate love' that I was talking about. That definitely could, and does, last a lifetime and more.

Again, I hope I don't sound materialistic, but I don't believe in the love of destiny.

I agree with you on this one! I would really LOVE for the producers to show us SK and JN's life 50 years from now to show that their love isn't just fueled by mere "rebellion" but is founded on something greater---cos I believe it is. It's so nice to be able to share opinions!

[Guest snam124]

Question everyone! I just saw 146

I noticed SH and JN were alone in the church. (there was no pastor or priest officiating their ceremony) Was this ceremony for them only? I mean are they legally married? Just curious...cause you never know what NN will do if JN isn't SH's legal wife.

:excl:

[Guest donilpark]

donilpark, I just so totally disagree with you when you say that you want Sukhyun and Jongnam to really suffer to learn their lesson. I don't think they've done anything wrong except love each other. And how can that be wrong? To me Jongnam is the pearl. She has survived even though abadoned as a child by her parent(s). She has manners and feelings. And she has something Haein never had and that is a sheer joy for living, which comes from someone who has nothing and has learned to appreciste everything. I never hated Haein more than when she told Jongnam she was lacking in class. To me Haein lacked in grace as well. Look at how she hurt Ki-woong when he asked her to marry him? Look how she sought revenge on Jongnam with Nara. Is that class? Is that a pearl? It's very easy to be like Haein when you have been a doted upon child.

For Jongnam life has been so hard--and yet she has a spirit that is as beautiful as her face.

And donilpark--not even in Korea is there what you call poetic justice--you need only to look at the news everyday to see how the rotten and mean continue to triumph, while the good often suffer. Retribution and justice are not administered that way. Nara is very ugly to everyone, condescending to all she meets. Is she suffering--maybe a bit right now--but it's more like a temper tantrum for her. She spins her evil plans and doesn't care who suffers. Should she also be the recipient of your poetic justice?

Is there wisdom in old age--yes. Should we all blindly obey the elderly then? Absolutely not--Being old doesn't make one righteous or privy to a crystal ball in which they can see the future. Respect your elders, but listen to your heart--because in the end that's all there is.

Wow--I'm not bored with this drama at all--I'm just sick of the wicked old witch Nara.

You make what I said sound extreme.

But I didn't say loving each other was wrong.

But it's something to reconsider if it causes such a degree of grief as they are causing now.

Because no matter how you much you may be in love, you can't be happy when people around you are unhappy because of that love.

Didn't you think that the way they ran away on everyone and than got pregrant was a bit irresponsible?

I mean, if they truly wanted everyone to be happy, than they should have been prepared to endure anything, for as long as it is needed, even if that means they will have to try all their lives.

Simply vanishing for a few days and than coming back with a baby was not something responsible people would do. That's just selfish and inconsiderate. Not to say they intended the consequence, but they should have been more careful.

Now, again, it's about who is better suited as a partner.

Everyone is beautiful. Not just Jongnam. And yes, that includes Haein and even Nara.

But when I said pearl, that's strictly with respect to marriage and what it entails.

Sure, like I've already said, Jongnam is a good natured girl. She is kind and nice, and she has joy for living. I give her all that. But those qualities don't necessarily make someone a good wife and mother.

In fact, I think that's one of the problems of our modern society, where people get married and than divorce oh so easily. Like our Holywood celebrities. They just go where their body, their carnal lust tells them to go, and then soon regret and get divorced. It's becuse they don't realize that there's a lot more, a lot more, than love in a marriage. Love can't be ignored, but if you can't put it under control, than you are no different than a lower animal that act impulsively and as their senses direct them.

As for Haein's behaviour back then, I don't see much problem. Wouldn't you be upset if you found out that your fiance came out of a hotel in the morning with another woman? I would be burnt to ashes with jealousy and anger. However, Haein soon pulled herself together, and now, see how she's truly wishing well for Suckhyeon and Jongnam. That's what really makes her beautiful. Anyone can succumb to emotions like Haein did and make mistakes. But to be unable to come out of it, like Jongnam and Suckhyeon, is not an admirable thing at all.

The idea of poetic justice is not that it is what happens in real life. Like the term itself, its only poetic.

Just because there are evil and it is not punished as it should, doesn't mean that a drama should disregard such a thing. (actually, to be honest, I am not greatly fond of the idea either. It's not like I can't stand to watch good people suffer and bad people prosper, because what happens in this life is not everything there is to it. But anyway that's not relevant...)

Nara will be punished. She will be.

Her love for Suckhyeon is not fake.

She's expressing it in an apparently wrong way, in a perverse way, but there's no doubt that she loves Suckhyeon deeply in her own way.

Do you really think Nara is out to cause misery for Suckhyeon? Than you really didn't see into her character. You got lost in what her outward behaviour told you and didn't see what's inside her.

Remember how nervous she looked when she talked with Minsook about Suckhyeon? And recall how lonely and miserable she looked when she was rejected by Suckhyeon. But then she immediately pretended that she didn't need him when he came back home (in episode 143, I think). She has a weak spot inside her. In fact, she's the weakest and the loneliest person in the whole show. It was probably not because she didn't want that she didn't have a child and became so defensive and cold. I didn't understand her when I saw her first, but as the show goes on, I get to understand her better and better. (although she's constantly doing things that never fail to appall me, but that's partly because they extended the show and they needed a Satan to keep the tension going)

So, she will be punished for her wrongs if Suckhyeon is punished and becomes unhappy. It's not like she wants Suckhyeon to suffer. But the way she's behaving now is precisely what's making him suffer, and that in itself will be her punishment.

And of course I didn't say you should blindly follow the elders.

Again, I think you took what I said a bit too extreme.

It's just that they are not objecting to this for the heck of it.

They have very good reasons and that comes from wisdom.

So I was just causioning against thinking that they are just inconsiderate and selfish.

(By the way, I blame all this on the 'wisdom' of that old fisherman Suckhyeon met when he went on a trip by himself. )

This discussion is really good. I'm enjoying this discussion and the show as much as you must be.

[Guest professor97]

donilpark: I still say the elders are prejudiced by the fact that Jongnam was an orphan. And as a mother myself of children who sometimes fail to heed my advice about what may happen, I say Nara the character does not love Sukhyun in a healthy way. She loves appearances. She;s groomed her child to lead the life SHE wants for him--not what he wants. No mother who really loves her child would cause that child pain. I'd rather cut my arm off that do the dirty tricks to Sukhyun that she has done. If that's love, I'd rather do without it.

Snam124--can you tell us what was said between Minsook and Nara, and can you tell us about what they said at their wedding ceremony.

I know that marriages aren't legal in Korea until a license is filed--see that's where I think Nara will move to keep Jongnam away.

Yuk.

[Guest okie]

You make what I said sound extreme.

But I didn't say loving each other was wrong.

But it's something to reconsider if it causes such a degree of grief as they are causing now.

Because no matter how you much you may be in love, you can't be happy when people around you are unhappy because of that love.

Didn't you think that the way they ran away on everyone and than got pregrant was a bit irresponsible?

I mean, if they truly wanted everyone to be happy, than they should have been prepared to endure anything, for as long as it is needed, even if that means they will have to try all their lives.

Simply vanishing for a few days and than coming back with a baby was not something responsible people would do. That's just selfish and inconsiderate. Not to say they intended the consequence, but they should have been more careful.

Now, again, it's about who is better suited as a partner.

Everyone is beautiful. Not just Jongnam. And yes, that includes Haein and even Nara.

But when I said pearl, that's strictly with respect to marriage and what it entails.

Sure, like I've already said, Jongnam is a good natured girl. She is kind and nice, and she has joy for living. I give her all that. But those qualities don't necessarily make someone a good wife and mother.

In fact, I think that's one of the problems of our modern society, where people get married and than divorce oh so easily. Like our Holywood celebrities. They just go where their body, their carnal lust tells them to go, and then soon regret and get divorced. It's becuse they don't realize that there's a lot more, a lot more, than love in a marriage. Love can't be ignored, but if you can't put it under control, than you are no different than a lower animal that act impulsively and as their senses direct them.

As for Haein's behaviour back then, I don't see much problem. Wouldn't you be upset if you found out that your fiance came out of a hotel in the morning with another woman? I would be burnt to ashes with jealousy and anger. However, Haein soon pulled herself together, and now, see how she's truly wishing well for Suckhyeon and Jongnam. That's what really makes her beautiful. Anyone can succumb to emotions like Haein did and make mistakes. But to be unable to come out of it, like Jongnam and Suckhyeon, is not an admirable thing at all.

The idea of poetic justice is not that it is what happens in real life. Like the term itself, its only poetic.

Just because there are evil and it is not punished as it should, doesn't mean that a drama should disregard such a thing. (actually, to be honest, I am not greatly fond of the idea either. It's not like I can't stand to watch good people suffer and bad people prosper, because what happens in this life is not everything there is to it. But anyway that's not relevant...)

Nara will be punished. She will be.

Her love for Suckhyeon is not fake.

She's expressing it in an apparently wrong way, in a perverse way, but there's no doubt that she loves Suckhyeon deeply in her own way.

Do you really think Nara is out to cause misery for Suckhyeon? Than you really didn't see into her character. You got lost in what her outward behaviour told you and didn't see what's inside her.

Remember how nervous she looked when she talked with Minsook about Suckhyeon? And recall how lonely and miserable she looked when she was rejected by Suckhyeon. But then she immediately pretended that she didn't need him when he came back home (in episode 143, I think). She has a weak spot inside her. In fact, she's the weakest and the loneliest person in the whole show. It was probably not because she didn't want that she didn't have a child and became so defensive and cold. I didn't understand her when I saw her first, but as the show goes on, I get to understand her better and better. (although she's constantly doing things that never fail to appall me, but that's partly because they extended the show and they needed a Satan to keep the tension going)

So, she will be punished for her wrongs if Suckhyeon is punished and becomes unhappy. It's not like she wants Suckhyeon to suffer. But the way she's behaving now is precisely what's making him suffer, and that in itself will be her punishment.

And of course I didn't say you should blindly follow the elders.

Again, I think you took what I said a bit too extreme.

It's just that they are not objecting to this for the heck of it.

They have very good reasons and that comes from wisdom.

So I was just causioning against thinking that they are just inconsiderate and selfish.

(By the way, I blame all this on the 'wisdom' of that old fisherman Suckhyeon met when he went on a trip by himself. )

This discussion is really good. I'm enjoying this discussion and the show as much as you must be.

wow donilpark, took the words out of my head and put them to paper just like I wanted to...lol...thanks, I so understand where you are coming from, been married for 31 years to the best guy, we where married at 18, and yes we are still in love and love each other, so I can see your points from all ways here, (By the way point on the fisherman......well did ya notice HE WAS THERE BY HISSELF)....

I am also enjoying all the discussions, that is what is so awesome about this board we all love to hear what the other one things.....makes us all the best board going, dont ya think....

okie

[Guest donilpark]

donilpark: I still say the elders are prejudiced by the fact that Jongnam was an orphan. And as a mother myself of children who sometimes fail to heed my advice about what may happen, I say Nara the character does not love Sukhyun in a healthy way. She loves appearances. She;s groomed her child to lead the life SHE wants for him--not what he wants. No mother who really loves her child would cause that child pain. I'd rather cut my arm off that do the dirty tricks to Sukhyun that she has done. If that's love, I'd rather do without it.

Snam124--can you tell us what was said between Minsook and Nara, and can you tell us about what they said at their wedding ceremony.

I know that marriages aren't legal in Korea until a license is filed--see that's where I think Nara will move to keep Jongnam away.

Yuk.

What you think of as a prejudice against orphans is not a prejudice at all.

It's a statistic of a sort. Kinda like physiognomy. Not everyone believes in it, and I don't believe it as a fortunetelling. But I think it has some validity as a statistical science.

Of course Nara is loving him in a wrong way. I agree with you perfectly on that. That's why she is in such misery and she will be all her life. At least I hope so, because otherwise, that means that she didn't love him at all, in any way, either right or wrong.

My point in saying Nara loves Suckhyeon was that she will suffer with him when he is in pain.

That in no way meant what she is doing is right. You do a wrong thing, that makes your son miserable, and that's gonna make you miserable. That's that.

[dandan1964]

Oh dear... All I can say is I'm glad I'm not Korean. .... ....... Let them live their lives! They're already adults!

AMEN!

[Guest okie]

wow donilpark, took the words out of my head and put them to paper just like I wanted to...lol...thanks, I so understand where you are coming from, been married for 31 years to the best guy, we where married at 18, and yes we are still in love and love each other, so I can see your points from all ways here, (By the way point on the fisherman......well did ya notice HE WAS THERE BY HISSELF)....

I am also enjoying all the discussions, that is what is so awesome about this board we all love to hear what the other one things.....makes us all the best board going, dont ya think....

okie

lol..guess okie is tired....I can spell, that is love to hear what other ones here think, not thing, goodness.....hehehe..as if ya did not know....I think I better go watch BB, and off to bed...

I must say as a nurse speaking here, I read what you all put out there on SH sickness, you guys are pretty good..... keep up the good work.....I am not to sure where the writers are going with his sickness, but I do know if he is not going to die , they will make it so he can recover with a blood family members help in some way or, well you guys are doing a good job so I will stay out of it....lol....

okie

[dandan1964]

.......

My point in saying Nara loves Suckhyeon was that she will suffer with him when he is in pain.

That in no way meant what she is doing is right. You do a wrong thing, that makes your son miserable, and that's gonna make you miserable. That's that.

It doesn't matter if she suffers with him when he is in pain....SHE caused the pain....

[Guest donilpark]

It doesn't matter if she suffers with him when he is in pain....SHE caused the pain....

Right. That's what we call 'punishment.'

You don't get punished for what you didn't do. (I mean, you can get punished for not doing what you're supposed to do, but you don't get punished for something you were not supposed to do and didn't do.)

You get punished for what you did.

[Guest n5y17cgirl]

Wow. That was quite an intense discussion going on above. I just think it's awesome that everyone's able to share their opinions freely like this in a healthy, positive manner and more importantly, despite perhaps differences in opinion, respect each other nonetheless - in their words and actions. Perhaps it has something to do with the slightly older, more mature audience we seem to have here, on average, with this particular drama.

Although there were a few trigger points for me while reading your discussion, I'll have to refrain from saying anything now. It would just take too much time & energy - both of which I unfortunately do not have at the moment. And trust me, you don't want to get me started!

Question everyone! I just saw 146

I noticed SH and JN were alone in the church. (there was no pastor or priest officiating their ceremony) Was this ceremony for them only? I mean are they legally married? Just curious...cause you never know what NN will do if JN isn't SH's legal wife.

:excl:

Well, I just saw episode 146... It wasn't an official wedding ceremony, but rather a promise between SH & JN before God - "to honor each other as husband & wife, till death do them part." SH says that they're doing this this way b/c they're unable to get their parents'/elders' blessing as of yet, which is still important to the two of them. But in their own eyes, the two of them are declaring themselves as husband and wife with respect to each other. They even exchange rings and whatnot... But no, I don't think they're legally married. It was just a private thing.

[Guest inyoungishot]

i dont like the direction this drama is going, i liked how it started but now its starting to drag on and towards a sad ending perhaps.

[Guest anjandy]

But now i think the drama is strating to evoke strong reactions from the viewers and that means that now, more than ever, people are glued to this drama...

[Guest donilpark]

http://news.media.daum.net/entertain/broad.../v12414872.html

Apparently, you're not the only one, Inyoungishot.

[Guest pumpkin06]

ep 149)

Knowing his illness is serious, SH goes to see Nara, but Nara throws him out, saying heartless words. YJ finds out that KW was unfairly transferred (and quited) and goes to see Nara to complaint. JW spends day after day being busy preparing for new business and packaged food ("lunch box") idea. Meanwhile, JN is surprised to received JM's call that SH resigned (at work)...

[addex3]

Right. That's what we call 'punishment.'

You don't get punished for what you didn't do. (I mean, you can get punished for not doing what you're supposed to do, but you don't get punished for something you were not supposed to do and didn't do.)

You get punished for what you did.

I like this discussion. I am going to put my $.02 in. I agreed with what donilpark wrote here. I also want to add my worthless opinion. Here in LA, we just got to the episode where Sukhyeon found out about his real parents on Channel KXLA. I have also been downloading the most recent episodes & reading the spoilers. I just want to say "Like mother, like son." Nara has a selfish love for Sukhyeon & she only thinks about herself. Sukhyeon is same way.

When he was going with Haein, he did care about her & treated her well, but did he ever consider Kiwoong's feelings at all. He was just thinking about himself. However, Kiwoong only considered Haein's happiness even though he was miserable. He even secretly got Haein's parents into that dancing class.

As for Sukhyeon's love for Jongnam, again he is selfish. He kidnapped her without considering the consequences of his selfish action. He told her his "sad" story about being abandon & then he got some in the process. He is no Gentleman based on his recent actions & behaviors. I think Jongnam is selfish also, but at least her excuse is that she is an orphan who had to look out for herself & had no parent to teach her any better. Sukhyeon's knowledge about love is from Nara who teaches him to be selfish.

In regard to his real parents, he saw his "uncle" parking cars to earn a living & how hard their lives were. Sukhyeon only thinks about how he was abandon into a life of luxury. Did he consider how hard it was for his parents to give him up? In the episode here in LA, when his adopted father asked him for money to help his "uncle", he accused his "uncle" of living off his rich family. He also sabotage Kiwoong's project idea. He is a mini-Nara. In later episodes, he gets better, but he is still selfish.

I like Kiwoong because he considered other before himself. Haein is definitely better off without the spoil brat Sukhyeon. As donilpark wrote, both Sukhyeon & Jongnam are not considering the feelings of the people around them. I think it is the Asian in me, but I do not like both Sukhyeon & Jongnam selfish behaviors.

As a side note, Go Joo Won seems to play these spoil brat character alot. He did this character for Rebirth/Revenge before & now for Sukhyeon & '7 Princess'. He definitely being typecast as the jerk.

[dandan1964]

I think it is the Asian in me, but I do not like both Sukhyeon & Jongnam selfish behaviors.

I think it's the American in me, but once you reach a certain age your parents have to respect you as an adult... and even if they don't like your choices they should support you anyway---

For a child to be in a loveless marriage just to make their parents happy makes no sence at all to me.

[Guest kawaiiyuki]

Here is my two cents. I think that JN and HI will make good Wifes/ daughters in law in their own way. As for SH and JN being selfish we are all selfish in our own way. I guess we think that Nara and SH are really selfish because we see their actions and not in their place. I mean if it was us how would we really act?

Sorry i tried posting a couple of times but it wouldn't let me!!

[addex3]

I think it's the American in me, but once you reach a certain age your parents have to respect you as an adult... and even if they don't like your choices they should support you anyway---

For a child to be in a loveless marriage just to make their parents happy makes no sence at all to me.

This is FUN! I am just talking about the fictional characters of Sukhyeon & Jongnam, but I don't like them for how they are doing it. In other K-Drama, the characters struggle until they get their parents' permission like in 'Goodbye to Sadness/Farewell to Tears'. In real life, things are way more complicated than in K-Drama. It is not black & white. It is all gray. That is reason I watch K-Drama is for fun discussion like this rather than the War of the Day.

In the real world, I think it is good that parents respect their children wishes, but do all parents do this? NO! There are people who are in loveless marriage who grow to care & respect other each as people. They don't have the flaming passion that fade when they really get to know each other. Should you respect the parents who raised & care for you? Maybe! Should you be miserable to make your parents happy? NO! I don't think there is an easy answer. I am not trying to relate what happened in K-Drama back into real life. For me, it is just fun to watch & debate like this. To each, his own.