What to do???

Hey everyone! Well just to start with a question, what do you do when a guy you have a thing with isn't even sure how he feels about you? To give you some background, sometimes he really really likes you, other times he thinks your annoying (this came from his own mouth). He claims to live in the present and makes decisions depending on how hes feeling at the moment. (his plans often don't end up the way they should because he will change his mind at the moment. Lack of commitment to decisions I guess?) He often doesn't really think about your feelings when hes making his decisions. He tells you really personal things that he doesn't tell anyone else. He tells you that you're super important and you're the only girl he really is that close with. When you sleep over, he really likes to kiss and cuddles with you a lot(not going all the way though), but even after all this he still can't really pin point what kind of relationship it is? He doesn't seem like he really wants to spend a lot of time with you. He admits that he is a little scared to go into a relationship again because his past two were really complicated and he's scared of that complication. But you really really like this person even if he has bad habits and has commitment issues. This relationship is really unhealthy, I know. I want to do something about it but I don't what to do. I really really this guy. I know I made him sound like a horrible person but hes actually just a good guy that has issues. Our uncertain relationship is just always on my mind and affecting my school work. What would you guys do if this was someone you really really liked? Is there a way to make this work? Sorry for the length of it all. I'd really appreciate any feedback at this point. >__<

The first thing you should always do is try to improve the situation. If you've identified all the problems with him, then you should bring them up. Clear up the misunderstandings, the status of the relationship, and tell him what annoys you. Give him some time to adapt, be patient, and also compromise. This is the roll-playing step that you do to avoid feeling guilty about breaking up or not trying hard enough. I call it roll-playing because people usually just don't change :/ they're selfish and lazy deep down, so after you have "tried" to improve conditions, then you can go ahead and try to break up with him. To do that, I'll just give you the same advice as I do for everyone else in bad relationships.

- I think you should just stick with him until you can't handle him anymore and then you'll want to break up with him. Usually if you like someone to this extent, there's no way you'd be willing to, or even able to just break it off right now. That would be the smart thing, but it would be impossible, so just do what makes you feel better until he really starts to get to you. the thing is, lifestyle, habits, and arguments chip away at the loving emotions over time. this is pretty much always true. usually lovers have to constantly make adjustments and compromises with their own lifestyle and habits to avoid chipping away that love and that's what makes relationships last. If you want to make your relationship go away, then you just have to spend more time with him, consider doing sleep overs every night or at least be in constant contact. any two people who are incompatible will find out this hard way that the relationship will not last long-term.

in short- just keep at it until you don't want to anymore.

He's indecisive about you. He probably have another girl on the side and doesn't know who to pick yet. He you like to play then play, If I you I will move on

similar to my case. The guy that I dated for almost 7 months has bad relationship problems and his biological mother. I sometimes find it hard for him to open up while other times he really open up and tells me the darkest secrets, his feelings and stuff. whilst some other times he hides stuff from me.
Honestly, you just have to show him that you really like him, cares for him. open up to him in exchanged for him to open up to you. Spent more time with him at his place like NINSHARKS suggested.Once i told the guy i dated that "life is all about taking chances, if you dont open up to me and shown me your true color then the relationship that we built together will be just a delusion. I like you and care for you a lot. Dont shut me out because of your bad relationship in the past. I am not saying that I am not like your ex because I dont know the full detail of what has happen, just remember the person that is with you now is me. give me benefit of a doubt. Dont mash your previous relationships that you had with the others girls with us"

Ninshark said: The first thing you should always do is try to improve the situation. If you've identified all the problems with him, then you should bring them up. Clear up the misunderstandings, the status of the relationship, and tell him what annoys you. Give him some time to adapt, be patient, and also compromise. This is the roll-playing step that you do to avoid feeling guilty about breaking up or not trying hard enough. I call it roll-playing because people usually just don't change :/ they're selfish and lazy deep down, so after you have "tried" to improve conditions, then you can go ahead and try to break up with him. To do that, I'll just give you the same advice as I do for everyone else in bad relationships.

- I think you should just stick with him until you can't handle him anymore and then you'll want to break up with him. Usually if you like someone to this extent, there's no way you'd be willing to, or even able to just break it off right now. That would be the smart thing, but it would be impossible, so just do what makes you feel better until he really starts to get to you. the thing is, lifestyle, habits, and arguments chip away at the loving emotions over time. this is pretty much always true. usually lovers have to constantly make adjustments and compromises with their own lifestyle and habits to avoid chipping away that love and that's what makes relationships last. If you want to make your relationship go away, then you just have to spend more time with him, consider doing sleep overs every night or at least be in constant contact. any two people who are incompatible will find out this hard way that the relationship will not last long-term.

in short- just keep at it until you don't want to anymore.

xogravity said: Ninshark said: If you want to make your relationship go away, then you just have to spend more time with him, consider doing sleep overs every night or at least be in constant contact. any two people who are incompatible will find out this hard way that the relationship will not last long-term.

in short- just keep at it until you don't want to anymore.

Ninshark said: xogravity said: Ninshark said: If you want to make your relationship go away, then you just have to spend more time with him, consider doing sleep overs every night or at least be in constant contact. any two people who are incompatible will find out this hard way that the relationship will not last long-term.

in short- just keep at it until you don't want to anymore.

its up to you honestly. Do you want to put up with it or not?