"Too old fashion" to date

I had a recent conversation with my mom and couple other friends who pointed out I'm really old fashion and kind of "old soul" at heart. 
So a bit of background story:I am in my mid-twenties. I had 3 boyfriends, 2 cheated and the last one was too lazy for me. He would always avoid getting another full time job and was content on being customer service. It seemed like a waste since he went for architecture. We ran out of things to talk about and seemed like we were just together for the sake of company.
The guys I dated afterwards seemed different than I remembered dating in my earlier years. Of course I'm not saying all guys are like this, but there were several guys that were lazy or not ambitious with their careers, expected sex on the first date, and even too much physical contact for the first date for me. By this I mean, constantly touching my back or face, playing with my hair, always putting his arm around me, etc. I would be okay if I knew the guy beforehand but some of the constant touching is by blind dates. So I wasn't very comfortable with it. Of course, I would speak up about the unwanted touching and would be called a b-.    
Does anyone ever feel like they are just not in the loop with dating? Are you old fashion? Does dating ever get any easier?
edit: also, i forgot to ask. When do you feel comfortable with physical contact? I don't mind physical contact on the third date usually, but sometimes on the second date I don't mind just holding hands :X

You are not old fashion. In fact, attraction has nothing to do with "old" or "new". Attraction comes from a feeling that was built in by evolution (hope you read my other posts!). It came a long way and it serves an important purpose in your quest of love!
So your built-in feelings told you that those guys weren't the ones you wanted to be with, and that's completely fine. Guys nowadays do have a major flaw with what they believe is mature or good man. In my opinion through my observations and my experience in helping these guys, it had a lot to do with the social media and their parents' misunderstandings brainwashing them. It is unfortunate, but that does not mean all guys are like that!
So keep looking! Despite the disappointing news above, I also do know many guys who are quite charismatic and ambitious. Combine your instincts with your logical interpretation (your 2 radars). Your instinctual radar will decide whether or not he is a genuine (most important one), passionate, ambitious, confident, and "manly" guy. And your logical interpretation radar will help you decide whether or not he has straight moral characters and how well he will treat you. Most girls can be comfortable when her first "instinctual" radar says he's okay, because physical or sexual contact deals mostly with attraction and not logical interpretation of how good a guy is. But from experience, I do suggest that when both of these "radars" signal to you that he is the guy, then that's when it is wise to have more "physical" contact.
Good luck!

alphaoxytocin said: You are not old fashion. In fact, attraction has nothing to do with "old" or "new". Attraction comes from a feeling that was built in by evolution (hope you read my other posts!). It came a long way and it serves an important purpose in your quest of love!
So your built-in feelings told you that those guys weren't the ones you wanted to be with, and that's completely fine. Guys nowadays do have a major flaw with what they believe is mature or good man. In my opinion through my observations and my experience in helping these guys, it had a lot to do with the social media and their parents' misunderstandings brainwashing them. It is unfortunate, but that does not mean all guys are like that!
So keep looking! Despite the disappointing news above, I also do know many guys who are quite charismatic and ambitious. Combine your instincts with your logical interpretation (your 2 radars). Your instinctual radar will decide whether or not he is a genuine (most important one), passionate, ambitious, confident, and "manly" guy. And your logical interpretation radar will help you decide whether or not he has straight moral characters and how well he will treat you. Most girls can be comfortable when her first "instinctual" radar says he's okay, because physical or sexual contact deals mostly with attraction and not logical interpretation of how good a guy is. But from experience, I do suggest that when both of these "radars" signal to you that he is the guy, then that's when it is wise to have more "physical" contact.
Good luck!

@Rekidai: I'm going to give my opinion and I hope you receive the opinion in a positive way. First off with the unwanted touching by guys I encourage you to speak up more regardless if you're called the definition of a female dog. I feel like those kind of guys are internally un-confident, and feel being pushy/over aggressive is the way to succeed with a woman. Not feeling that sex on the first date either. Talked to a girl and she was like oh let's screw in my shower and in my head I'm like woah I'm straight, but let's pull back on this sex thing for a minute. In my head if I have sex with someone it's not some reckless physical act. Having sex is about the connection as a whole. I genuinely detest when dudes brag about hooking up with someone when they barely understand the concept of sexual intercourse. Recommends for the most part stay true to yourself. To be honest I wish I could meet someone in my area who has your thought process, and was single.

On a personal level I feel comfortable with personal contact when we're on the same page with our actions, and the actions are consistent. I have trust issues. Most times I just go for a handshake in the beginning/end of a date. Some girls I've met that are cold hearted don't even want a handshake so I just go with the flow of the situation. Almost 28 and has had dates since I was 17 and dating gets easier in the sense to where as you get more experienced dating you know what you like/dislike, and what to watch out for. What I will say is a common mistakes by girls I've met girls who have been through your experience and we're on a date and I'm doing the accurate things I should be doing on my end as a man yet the girl/woman is super paranoid and treating me like I was one of the guys who mistreated her. I had one girl blurt out to me on the first date I don't want sex. A guy asked me for sex and I don't want sex. In my head I'm quiet and thinking wtf does this have to with me, and can you stop stereotyping me please. Point being when a great guy does come along lower your guard or you're going to let something good with the potential to be great go by. Also, you refer to money/ambition it makes me wonder what are positives that you feel that you bring to the table with dating? Also, you're not alone with feeling out of the loop with dating. Met so many girls who want a trophy bf or trophy husband when they barely bring anything of quality to the table, or are posting half naked pics on social media to gain a dude's attention. I feel like I'm in the wrong generation for dating at this point of my life.

@writerstale Thanks! I get what you mean, and by all means I don't do that. I don't blurt out those kind of things like I said in the beginning of the post I know all guys aren't like this. Just the ones I've been seeing have been like that and I see it as a trend. 
I feel like I don't belong in this generation in the sense that people often times just want sex because it's a "need" and I feel like there is always meaning when I do it with someone. I feel like with a lot of people that meaning is lost. 
As for the ambitions and money part, I have my own career goals I'm working towards. Currently I am working in advertising and I would like to talk about steps/mini goals and what I want to do in the future. I am one of those people that know what I want to do in 5 years career-wise. I find it hard for me to find someone with the same level if they just talk about "work and play" and don't even like their job. I mean there are times where you are frustrated with work, but I enjoy talking to people that are passionate about their jobs. Something about them lights up. I don't need a "trophy" boyfriend but I would like to find someone my equal that shares the same ambitions/goals in life. It would be nice to find someone that isn't absorbed with just traveling, drinking, partying and wasting their 20s away.  
edit: by traveling I mean the type that spends all their money on traveling and don't have anything else in life. 

@Rekidai: Glad you get where I'm coming from. Was worried that my comment would get misconstrued.  Really likes the part where you said there's a meaning when you have sex with someone. It's rare to meet a person who plans ahead like you do.  Thinks what you're asking for is realistic.

@writerestale ha! wish someone would tell this to my mom. My mom thinks that it's easy finding a guy to date :/ 

Rekidai said: @writerestale ha! wish someone would tell this to my mom. My mom thinks that it's easy finding a guy to date :/ 

Rekidai said: I had a recent conversation with my mom and couple other friends who pointed out I'm really old fashion and kind of "old soul" at heart. 
So a bit of background story:I am in my mid-twenties. I had 3 boyfriends, 2 cheated and the last one was too lazy for me. He would always avoid getting another full time job and was content on being customer service. It seemed like a waste since he went for architecture. We ran out of things to talk about and seemed like we were just together for the sake of company.
The guys I dated afterwards seemed different than I remembered dating in my earlier years. Of course I'm not saying all guys are like this, but there were several guys that were lazy or not ambitious with their careers, expected sex on the first date, and even too much physical contact for the first date for me. By this I mean, constantly touching my back or face, playing with my hair, always putting his arm around me, etc. I would be okay if I knew the guy beforehand but some of the constant touching is by blind dates. So I wasn't very comfortable with it. Of course, I would speak up about the unwanted touching and would be called a b-.    
Does anyone ever feel like they are just not in the loop with dating? Are you old fashion? Does dating ever get any easier?
edit: also, i forgot to ask. When do you feel comfortable with physical contact? I don't mind physical contact on the third date usually, but sometimes on the second date I don't mind just holding hands :X

How exactly are you old fashioned? Everything sounds normal to me well at least I'm assuming that's normal to a lot of women. I mean wanting an ambitious guy that's not all about sex right?

Just stop dating bad guys with no motivation.

on the other hand, too much ambition is not good. throwing away a comfortable life making 150 grand a year for a chance at being a multi millionaire will most likely leave you working 20 hour days with an average of 30 grand in your pocket per year.
i've seen so many people ruined from ambition, saying dumb things like "look at bill gates, and steve jobs" well think of the unnamed hundreds of thousands who have had their story, except kept eating instant noodle and never got a lucky break.
where you meet people matters, for my inner circle i am pretty strict about guys meeting girls in clubs, as they are mostly not the quality women that should be included. men and women are fairly similar, when do guys go to clubs? they go when they are desperate, when they are too stressed or tired to invest in a real relationship. women are the same way, sure there is the 0.001% who are not, but you will never meet that one, when you go to meet men, you should think about where a responsible man will be.
of course a responsible man will be with the people who will matter 10 years down the line, this is why the best way to meet someone is through some one. I'm not sure about other asian cultures, but in korean culture this is standard even for friendships, you must be introduced. 
this way how can a man cheat on you? you are a dear friend of someone he cares for, how can he dare hurt you if he respects his brothers?

That is completely normal. Don't stress it, when the right time comes you will eventually find the right one. I actually don't go on dates with guys who ask me out. For me, I know what I want, what I like and what I don't like. I'm Chinese and apparently I only like Chinese males. You figure being born in the US I'd be alright with dating outside of my race, but for some apparently reason I always felt this empty gap there between guys of different ethnicity. Anyways, I don't go on dates, unless I actually feel there is potential and he meets certain criterion....of not only being a long-term boyfriend, but also a husband. Because honestly, what is the point of dating for 7-8yrs then end up splitting, that is 7-8yrs of youth wasted! Some people are boyfriend material, but they are not husband material. I guess I'm the detail-oriented and analytical type of person, I like to analyze and sort things out clearly before I make a move. Of course, I'm also very decisive, so I won't take long for me to make that decision.

As to when I feel comfortable with physical contact, it all depends on how well you know them. Holding hands is fine with me for first date {No kisses yet though, and only on cheeks for second and third dates, gotta save the best for later} I mean, if I feel comfortable with them in physical proximity, that must be a sign that I'm ready to date them right~[=D] if you feel uncomfortable, you're probably not ready yet.

Bottom line, don't stress it, and just be happy. Things will fall into play naturally. Sometimes if you push/try too hard, you might end up with someone whom you'll later regret. Slow and steady wins the race~

If you are talking about style of clothes, I think I might be the "old fashion" kind of guy that you are looking for.

Well, if anything - old at least.

@marvinoppa Haha thanks actually I didn't get my friends to hook me up, sometimes they don't tell me and they bring a guy along etc. It's just frustrating when they do things like that. 
@DFO-King Yeah, I stop dating them after the first date when things are off, I didn't think I was old fashion. It was something my mom said. I think she meant in terms that modern dating especially where I live I would be "old fashion". People in my area go on a first date, have sex, and then get into a relationship later. Compare to me where I would like to know a guy for awhile before thinking about going on a date with them. 
@ajlee613 That's true, I guess I mean to say is a little ambition? I hate the party type that only works and look forward to Fridays to go clubbing, etc. I wish my friends are the types that introduce but the only guys I meet are the ones they are dating or thinking about dating. I have dated guys that my guy friend introduced and they are close to but they did end up cheating on me. So maybe I just have bad luck? 

Balance is key, but normally I feel like most people don't call that ambition, rather they would call it "not being lazy and unproductive" 
when people say "ambitious" in modern discourse it implies a drive to climb the corporate ladder or be wildly wealthy, or to achieve something very few people manage too. the truth is, if you get that far, chances are you gave up a lot to get there. I know in Asia, being a celebrity is much more demanding than in the US where you can do what ever weird sleezy thing you want and still be famous, in Korea for example, a scandal is the end for your career. I am fairly sure this is the same in Taiwan, HK, Japan, etc. many people who get famous (well some) do so to create a good life for them and their lover at the time, but as they become more famous they need to commit more time, and hide their love life more, thus loosing the person they were working hard for in the first place.
if you loose what you are fighting for, you lost already.