Ask The Ladies - Read First Post

[Guest nana544]

So, i have a bit of a complicated question but I'll try to simplify it as much as i can.

I have been dating a smart, beautiful, and funny girl for the past two and a half years.  We share almost everything in common except for that i am outgoing and at times a tad reckless, while she is conservative and at times a tad shy.  The part I would really appreciate advice with is that on several occasions she has said that she felt she was not good enough for me, and that I should date one of the girls who are apparently waiting in a line behind her.  I do not mean to sound headstrong in any way, and i have never noticed (nor cared to) any other girl overtly flirting with me or hitting on me.  

I try to be as supportive as i can, and do everything I can to boost her confidence and be a good boyfriend: the occasional fancy weekend date, gifting chocolate on a regular basis, cooking a full dinner for her every now and then, and of course telling her (and meaning it) I love her every night.  The depression is starting to grow difficult to deal with, though, and at times just annoying.  How can i boost her confidence to show her she's better than that invisible line?

You need to let her know that she is the only girl for you...sometimes speaking about it helps too. Perhaps you shall take her to sit down and talk to her that you only likes/loves her and have eyes for her only. It sounds like she is insecure, which is something most girls go through in a relationship. Also, maybe she thinks you're flirting with other girls too, and that can be an insecure issue that she has. Make it obvious to other girls that you are already taken and show other girls that you are content with your girlfriend by being affectionate towards her. Best wishes!

[Guest hishari]

Hey lovelies,

Have you ever been in a situation with your mother when she was supportive about your new bf when you first started off, and then few months after she gave you the awkward "talk" and told you not to lose it incase you dont end up marrying the guy otherwise what would your future husband think of you ? Thereafter shes still been supportive and asks how we are going. And then another year and a half into the relationship with the same guy she gives you the talk again saying you might not marry the guy etc and to not "engage in those activities". Why would a mother say this? Personally i am pretty upset about her negativity towards our relationship but it'd be great if someone could share their opinions D: i dont know how to handle it or if im not supposed to be that upset. Thanks x

I've been with mine for 5 years and my mom nags me about this every john teshing weekend when I go home (i'm living an hour away for college). And I am totally not exaggerating. Sometimes she'll call me and nag me about it. She'll ask these really leading questions and try to trick me into admitting it.

I just tune her out.

[Guest JaruJaru]

Girls, I don't know if it's just me or just the girls I've been with, but why are girls always so shy when we're alone. This is usually the first date, or whenever we're alone. I know you may not be comfortable with me, I'm not with you yet either, but I don't awkwardly look at my phone for the first 30 minutes of the date. I always feel like I'm the one carrying the conversation. 

[Guest pasdechat]

Girls, I don't know if it's just me or just the girls I've been with, but why are girls always so shy when we're alone. This is usually the first date, or whenever we're alone. I know you may not be comfortable with me, I'm not with you yet either, but I don't awkwardly look at my phone for the first 30 minutes of the date. I always feel like I'm the one carrying the conversation. 

How well do you know these girls? Classmates? Acquaintances? Friend of a friend? Near strangers? Maybe it is the girls you've been with (they all happen to shy and timid), or maybe they're not very comfortable with the situation (Maybe it seems like the secluded-ness and the intimacy of being alone together brings about certain expectations that they're not ready for). Maybe more group dates with mutual friends would make the atmosphere more comfortable and friendly and would help her transition to more intimate dates.

Or maybe it's their ages/level of experience with the opposite sex.

Personally, I had my first date when I was...19 almost 20. It was terrible, and I guess I came off really shy and uncomfortable. And I was, mainly because I didn't trust the guy and he immediately took me away to a secluded/intimate location. I had zero experience, and I also wasn't attracted or interested in the guy at all, so that didn't help matters. My second time with a guy was more successful...as he's now my boyfriend. I was attracted to him, which helped a lot in my interest and level of engagement with him, and he didn't seem as eager to lure me away to an intimate place...I felt more "safe" with him.

[Guest minilight1080]

First of all I'm a girl.

Anyways, I think I like this guy I met at church. and he doesn't seem to like me..well I think he doesn't like me but previously he was super nice to me and.everything. It's confusing! ...that part is long story. so since I think he doesn't like me, I have to give up so in order to do that i blocked him on facebook..well his icon keeps showing up on my chat box ......The issue is before I'm ALWAYS online. like always...then suddenly I blocked him so that means he can't see me online at all. then I keep running into him at school for some reason. Before I never see him at all but lately I keep seeing him in school. I don't know if he noticed me but I pretend to not notice him at all so I can avoid him. Since I'm trying my best to give up - I should just avoid him, get him out of my sight...Since it's getting close to June - we have lots of activities during the summer in church - I have to see him like almost every saturday, sunday.

I don't know what to do. I don't know if was a good idea to even blocked him in the first place. Since I was always online like always then suddenly I"m just not online at all. I understand it takes time to give up on someone - but if I have to nearly see him like almost every weekend starting in June, it would be even harder for me to give up. I can't stop going to church cause I was one of the few people that they first recruited in the college part. Since they have activities, I want to join haha.

[pervert]

First of all I'm a girl.

Anyways, I think I like this guy I met at church. and he doesn't seem to like me..well I think he doesn't like me but previously he was super nice to me and.everything. It's confusing! ...that part is long story. so since I think he doesn't like me, I have to give up so in order to do that i blocked him on facebook..well his icon keeps showing up on my chat box ......The issue is before I'm ALWAYS online. like always...then suddenly I blocked him so that means he can't see me online at all. then I keep running into him at school for some reason. Before I never see him at all but lately I keep seeing him in school. I don't know if he noticed me but I pretend to not notice him at all so I can avoid him. Since I'm trying my best to give up - I should just avoid him, get him out of my sight...Since it's getting close to June - we have lots of activities during the summer in church - I have to see him like almost every saturday, sunday.

I don't know what to do. I don't know if was a good idea to even blocked him in the first place. Since I was always online like always then suddenly I"m just not online at all. I understand it takes time to give up on someone - but if I have to nearly see him like almost every weekend starting in June, it would be even harder for me to give up. I can't stop going to church cause I was one of the few people that they first recruited in the college part. Since they have activities, I want to join haha.

Just because he doesn't seem to like you, you can't settle with being friends at least? I understand, though, if you want to get over him completely by avoiding him. Honestly, blocking him is no big deal at all. I wouldn't worry about that. As far as real-life encounters go, be casual if you absolutely have to interact with him at church. You won't be able to avoid seeing him, but you can try to get over him by focusing your interest in something else. Make friends with new people or participate in some other summer program.

[Guest minilight1080]

For me, it's kinda hard being friends with him, I barely have anything to talk to him about. I guessed I can settle being friends but knowing that I slightly like him - it's hard for me. I don't know if that make sense. I would think the issue with blocking him is, he can still see me through third party applications if i do use the applications he uses and if I do tell him I deleted my account that means I was lying to him if he asked me. Of course the only reason u might possibly blocked someone if the person doesn't want to be friends.

I'm planning to go to a different church soon so I guessed it shouldn't even matter whether he assumes i dont want to be friends.

[Guest jinchilla]

I don't ever want to fall in love again... But my heart gets fooled every time... What should I do?

[Guest iilysium]

[Guest nana544]

Girls, what does it mean when a fellow girlfriend says you're trying too hard when she looks at your pictures or watch you take pictures? Why would she say that?

[Guest I_play_with_dolls]

Girls, what does it mean when a fellow girlfriend says you're trying too hard when she looks at your pictures or watch you take pictures? Why would she say that?

She's just saying it seems like you're trying too hard to appear good looking in your photos, as in overly posing/fixing hair/wearing your clothes in a certain way just for a photo.

[Guest cocopuffs]

How would girls in University/College react to guys that compliment them on their looks and proceed to ask them for their number? I never actually heard of feedback of this technique! Share what you think girls, does it depend on their looks or do you generally not give strangers your contact info?

[ParappaRappa]

^ It may just be me...But it doesn't even make much of a difference if the stranger is good looking or not, that approach comes on too strong for me and I personally wouldn't give away my number. I'd be more likely to give my number to someone if we were just talking casually, got along very well, and then they asked for my number.

[Guest dolcedor.]

How would girls in University/College react to guys that compliment them on their looks and proceed to ask them for their number? I never actually heard of feedback of this technique! Share what you think girls, does it depend on their looks or do you generally not give strangers your contact info?

I generally wouldn't give out my number to someone I didn't know at all. However, if we've built up some sort of rapport, even if it's just a quick hello every now and then, and he was at least somewhat cute, then yeah, I might give out my number.

[Guest Octopus__]

How would girls in University/College react to guys that compliment them on their looks and proceed to ask them for their number? I never actually heard of feedback of this technique! Share what you think girls, does it depend on their looks or do you generally not give strangers your contact info?

If they were cute and I've seen them around more than once, I would probably say "let's go get coffee" or something so we could get to know each other. But really wouldn't try to interact with someone who randomly came up to me and I've never seen them before.

[inxomnia]

^ Agreed. Random cute guy in the class, probably. Random stranger at uni, unlikely. I like having had at least some opportunity to have some familiarity or observed them previously. Its mosty subconscious though

But I would prefer the guy asked me for coffee instead of my no. straight up because I prefer getting to know people in real life and its much more fluid than a 'hey remember me? I'm the guy from xyz.. what you doing etc'

[thisismyv]

How would girls in University/College react to guys that compliment them on their looks and proceed to ask them for their number? I never actually heard of feedback of this technique! Share what you think girls, does it depend on their looks or do you generally not give strangers your contact info?

I personally wouldn't do give out my phone number to a complete [handsome] stranger. I even have friends at work who I know are interested in me and gave me THEIR numbers to text them, and I haven't even done that. Looks aren't everything: he could be a psychopath or a stalker! :/

[Guest Icetrooper]

Does an average looking guy become more attractive once they get their braces off?

[Guest bbasoop]

Ask a girl out for lunch. We talked heaps, joked around and had good eye contact. She does look down from time to time so I just want an opinion on what that might mean (if anything)?? She also offered to pay for us both and said next time I can pay. (good or bad?) lol.

[Nikky]

Ask a girl out for lunch. We talked heaps' date=' joked around and had good eye contact. She does look down from time to time so I just want an opinion on what that might mean (if anything)?? She also offered to pay for us both and said next time I can pay. (good or bad?) lol.[/quote']

She could be shy, a little nervous. Looking down from time to time is a sign of that. I’d say look for some quirks, biting her lip, her eyes going to her left to see if she’s trying to think of some sort of topic to bring up to keep you guys talking. Even her bringing up small subjects; pets, weather, something that leads to short exchanges between you two, but she’ll keep it up. That means that she wants the conversation between you two to keep going.

If she’s like me, she wants equality in all relationships. She doesn’t expect anything and doesn’t want to mooch off of anyone. It’s becoming more common in this society for the woman to hold her own and not always expect the guy to pay. I personally feel awkward having a guy pay for me just because he’s a male.

The pure fact that she brought up a next time is a good sign. If you like this girl, keep at it. She’ll become less nervous the more she has one on one time with you. But like I had said before, keep looking for other small quirks to let you know if she’s nervous, not interested, a little shy.