Ask The Fellas

[Guest xxstarstarxx]

All right, i think this might sound stupid but i got a question.

Couldn't think of the answer.

What do guys want for their birthday?

[Guest T_Sport]

All right, i think this might sound stupid but i got a question.

Couldn't think of the answer.

What do guys want for their birthday?

From their girlfriend? Or from female friends?

If girlfriend, I'd say it should be something thoughtful, something that has cropped up before. If its just a regular friend, I personally don't expect them to put too much effort in to it, it's nice if they do, but I wouldn't expect them to go through a lot for me. Anything at all is a nice gesture.

[Guest xxstarstarxx]

From their girlfriend? Or from female friends?

If girlfriend, I'd say it should be something thoughtful, something that has cropped up before. If its just a regular friend, I personally don't expect them to put too much effort in to it, it's nice if they do, but I wouldn't expect them to go through a lot for me. Anything at all is a nice gesture.

Its from a female friend.

and thanks for the advice

It does help a little bit.

[Guest T_Sport]

Its from a female friend.

and thanks for the advice

It does help a little bit.

Aaaaactually I'd like to add a bit more if you wouldn't mind reading!

I shoulda classed the 'female friends' bit in to divisions... This may sound strange, but to be quite honest, I have friends, and then I have friends who I genuinely care about. Paying attention to every little detail and stuff like that...

The latter, it'd be really nice if they got something thoughtful too. Just you know they really care for you too. Generic things are way too easy to see through, CDs, books, whatever, I mean they're acceptable if they really enjoy it, but otherwise it'll be a gift that's accepted but not hugely appreciated. Even if it's an inexpensive present, if it means something, they'll keep it close!

[Guest moot11]

Its from a female friend.

and thanks for the advice

It does help a little bit.

How much do you have to spend? You can never go wrong with video games. Modern Warefare 2, if he has xbox 360.

[MrPower]

We need more guys to answer more questions lol

the thing is... i want him back..

the problem with my boyfriend is that he really doesn't think clearly and he's able to control his own mind.

i can't go anywhere without thinking about him!

i just can't believe he's able to just forget me like that.... unless he's just hiding his emotions (which i don't think anyone can do.. cmon, no ones THAT good of an actor)

I took the comments in consideration, but here's what I think will be best for you.

Do your best to move on. This guy seems like he doesn't even care about how you feel, and somebody like that isn't what you need. Trust me.

If you want to learn how to get over your relationship, keep these things in mind.

1. Find somebody you can depend on. somebody you can talk to constantly, yet have the patience to hear you out every single time. Let's call this person your venting person.

2. One inevitable part of breaking up is something that everybody hates: Pain. Since this is your first love, you won't have any experience to look back on how to get back in the game, so it'll be tougher this time around.

3. Bring the pain on. Instead of trying to avoid pain, confront it face to face. Don't try to date other guys, becuase that'll make you want him even more and more.

4. Like I said before, don't try to avoid pain. Instead, cry it out. Take it out on the teddy bear. Scream into your pillow. Go running. All these things will make you feel better.

5. Expect him to be there wherever you go, so you don't feel surprised.

As for all my advice, this is just what I think is effective based on experience...

It seems that there is a lot on your mind, so feel free to pm me if you so desire.

let's say you liked your friend, but she only saw you two as friends. if she gave the "i only see you as a friend" thing, how upset would you be? or what else would you prefer to hear if you were going to be rejected? :x

I would respect her opinion and try to move on from that. If i really liked her, I would try my best to show her what she's missing out on, and hopefully she'll change her mind.

When you reject somebody, you have to be clear and precise as to what you are saying.

That answer is fine...

I've known this guy for probably almost a year now. I wouldn't say we're friends, acquaintances would be a good word to describe us. He's a hair stylist at the place near my house. The first time I saw him I was attracted to him. We always talk when he's cutting my hair and stuff. We usually talk about life, interests, cars and all that. The last time I saw him he asked for my number so I gave it to him. That night he text me asking what I was doing and so I replied, it went back and forth a few times. But, the last text was talking about a TV show or something, so I asked him if he had to work (since he was watching TV). He never replied back to me! Yesterday I asked him if he remembered me and if he's still working at that place, since I hadn't seen him for awhile. He replied today and was really friendly, he said he was out of town and just got back but wasn't working there anymore. So, I asked him where he was working...I actually like the way he cuts hair but I also have been wanting to talk to him for a long time. He still hasn't replied to me..and I don't know if he will. Why does it take him so long to reply? Like, literally the next day! I don't think he's working now, so why wouldn't he at least reply a little sooner? He's always really friendly though, so..I don't think he's trying to avoid me..><

I've wanted to text him for the longest time, but I'm afraid he won't reply and I'll look like a richard simmons.

I also don't want to seem like annoying or something. He was the one who text me first when he got my number, I just wanted to know where he was working now..

Ahhh...help?

He might be busy. to busy to check his phone?

If he asked for your number, he most likely had an interest in you. Whether that still is the case or not, I'm not sure. Do you know his status as of now? (single, relationship, married etc)

Just leave it be for now. You'll come off as a bit desperate if you keep trying to text him if he doesn't respond.

Though... if he's one of the rare few, then he's making you want him more and more... and I think it's working.

This is my first time posting a question..anyway here goes..See my friends are mostly guys, and youd think that if you hung out with nothing but guys youd be able to ask one of them this question but well im afraid that id make them feel bad.

Almost all of the guys like/ go out with girls that flirt. Once they see the girl flirting around they become angry and get jealous. The thing is they KNEW the girl was a flirt before they even started going out..like i would think that if someone flirts before being in a relationship, they are going to flirt during the relationship. So i dont really understand why the guys get mad when they already know the girls are like that in the first place..its just so confusing. I find myself getting mad at my guy friends because they always come to me to complain about their girlfriends and im just sitting there thinking "Um HELLO what did you expect?! Her to turn into a lifeless puppet for you?" Like i understand that they are going out and all..and it isnt right for someone to flirt with another person while in a relationship but still what do you expect?

So my question is..why is it that most guys seem really attracted/ go out to girls who flirt around but then become insanely jealous when that girl flirts? why do guys put themselves in the position to get hurt when they could just avoid the whole thing by not going out with that type of girl? i understand that most guys like girls who are the fun and the "life of the party" type of girls but still...if your the jealous type..why bother?

They are attracted to that quality. Personally, I'm not, but I understand why they are like that.

They want to be the one that the girl is exclusive with her flirting. If they're "official", then guys want to control the girl more because they feel insecure.

That's just the type of girl that stands out to them. MANY guys are the "jealous type", and they just can't help it (and sometimes are not aware of it). This is part of the reason why "love" hurts for many guys.

How would you react if the girl you really liked and your best friend liked each other? Would you want him or her to tell you, or would you rather find out from someone else?

OTL

I think I would shed a tear. single tear mind you.

I would want to hear it from them directly. It'll hurt a lot, but I think i'll be able to get over it.

All right, i think this might sound stupid but i got a question.

Couldn't think of the answer.

What do guys want for their birthday?

Sex. lol.

it depends on the guy, but don't get him jewelry.

games, food, whatever. you can't go wrong with a gag gift either

I usually don't care what the gift is, but rather who it's from.

edit: Side note - lol I'm shocked at the number of responses I made... I have too much time at my hands at work

[Guest starstrukk]

There's this guy that I'm interested in, but he has so many other girls in his life.

Anyway, we're kinda friends...i know 'kinda?' its really complicating. lol

But my actual question here is - when i hang out with him one-on-one would it be out of place for me to ask him about who he likes right now? Specifically the other girls.

All im trying to get out of this is whether he thinks of me as a friend or more. Even if I find out he thinks of me as a friend (which is fine) i'd assume he'd tell me about the other girls, but he doesn't.

For example, we have class together, but a couple of times he brings in this girl which I know he's interested in cuz my friend said they went to the movies later that day, this one time... he didnt introduce me to her? Nor did he ever.

thoughts?

[Guest kimicas17]

We need more guys to answer more questions lol

They are attracted to that quality. Personally, I'm not, but I understand why they are like that.

They want to be the one that the girl is exclusive with her flirting. If they're "official", then guys want to control the girl more because they feel insecure.

That's just the type of girl that stands out to them. MANY guys are the "jealous type", and they just can't help it (and sometimes are not aware of it). This is part of the reason why "love" hurts for many guys.

edit: Side note - lol I'm shocked at the number of responses I made... I have too much time at my hands at work

--Thanks for answering my question...what you said makes sense.. Im happy someone answered my question because it was really bothering me. I couldn't understand why guys would put themselves through that kind of hurt though. I mean if the girls that the guys like are all "majorly flirtatious", wouldn't they realize that the girl might not stop flirting even if they are dating? I mean yeah the girls who flirt tend to have fun personalities but there are other girls out there who dont flirt around, who also have fun personalities. *sigh* i dont know., they always have to go after the girl they think is easier to get...but at the same time it just seems to me that guys like the challenges(am i wrong in saying that?)

*p.s to your side note --> Haha we all seem to have to much time on our hands

[DRELLA.]

I need both males & females opinions.

There's this guy that I like. We don't talk because I'm way too shy to talk to him. His friends knows that I like him & asked him what he thought of me and he said he doesn't know what he thinks of me because I've never said anything to him before. His friends told me that he's waiting for me to talk to him but like I said, I'm really shy. Recently, he (and almost everybody else) found out that I like him. Nothing has happened since then but we have a class together & it's super awkward for me because everyone in our class (including the teacher) makes fun of me because I like him... I want to start talking to him but the fact that he knows that I like him weirds me out every time I try to. Should I continue to pursue this guy or should I just move on with my life? & I've been told that he's still waiting for me to talk to him.

[MrPower]

There's this guy that I'm interested in, but he has so many other girls in his life.

Anyway, we're kinda friends...i know 'kinda?' its really complicating. lol

But my actual question here is - when i hang out with him one-on-one would it be out of place for me to ask him about who he likes right now? Specifically the other girls.

All im trying to get out of this is whether he thinks of me as a friend or more. Even if I find out he thinks of me as a friend (which is fine) i'd assume he'd tell me about the other girls, but he doesn't.

For example, we have class together, but a couple of times he brings in this girl which I know he's interested in cuz my friend said they went to the movies later that day, this one time... he didnt introduce me to her? Nor did he ever.

thoughts?

Sorta. usually guys wont' talk about other girls with the girl that he likes.

Guy are stupid, and we will never pick up on hints LOL.

If you really want to know, then ask him straight up face to face.

--Thanks for answering my question...what you said makes sense.. Im happy someone answered my question because it was really bothering me. I couldn't understand why guys would put themselves through that kind of hurt though. I mean if the girls that the guys like are all "majorly flirtatious", wouldn't they realize that the girl might not stop flirting even if they are dating? I mean yeah the girls who flirt tend to have fun personalities but there are other girls out there who dont flirt around, who also have fun personalities. *sigh* i dont know., they always have to go after the girl they think is easier to get...but at the same time it just seems to me that guys like the challenges(am i wrong in saying that?)

*p.s to your side note --> Haha we all seem to have to much time on our hands

you're most welcome. I work my shifts alone, so it's my pleasure.

A guy doesn't go into a relationship wanting to get hurt... lol

There's a factor called "hope" that we have to take into consideration. Some guys love the thrill of the chase... in fact they live for it. Sometimes when they get the girl, they will lose all interest because that goal in their value system is reached, and they seek out another target.

For others, the challenge makes it all worthwhile at the end.

Then the desperate ones who will take whatever they can get...

I need both males & females opinions.

There's this guy that I like. We don't talk because I'm way too shy to talk to him. His friends knows that I like him & asked him what he thought of me and he said he doesn't know what he thinks of me because I've never said anything to him before. His friends told me that he's waiting for me to talk to him but like I said, I'm really shy. Recently, he (and almost everybody else) found out that I like him. Nothing has happened since then but we have a class together & it's super awkward for me because everyone in our class (including the teacher) makes fun of me because I like him... I want to start talking to him but the fact that he knows that I like him weirds me out every time I try to. Should I continue to pursue this guy or should I just move on with my life? & I've been told that he's still waiting for me to talk to him.

...I think you know the answer to this question. You just need more confidence and reassurance from others.

Talk to this guy. I think you're answering your own questions in your post.

I'm pretty sure he has an answer. GO go go!

[DRELLA.]

^ Thanks. (:

I'm just really insecure because I don't want to get hurt in the end. I'm gonna start talking to him soon ... hopefully I won't chicken out again. It's been awhile since I've actually taken an interest in someone.

[MrPower]

^ Thanks. (:

I'm just really insecure because I don't want to get hurt in the end. I'm gonna start talking to him soon ... hopefully I won't chicken out again. It's been awhile since I've actually taken an interest in someone.

Np

we all fear that... but you're gonna have to find out sooner or later right?

It's better to be hurt by rejection rather than wondering "what if" for years to come...

I'm glad you decided to go talk to him.

[Guest peppermintsugar]

Hahaha, I guess I'll make a post just for the heck of it, not really a big deal, but why not, since people think I act like I think I'm the mini cooper, well here, I have problems, too!

So, I play RagnarokOnline, a lot. I tend not to socialize in the game much because I'm not good at it and I know a lot of others take it seriously. Whatever, I like playing by myself. Well, I ended up "meeting" some guy in game who had a character named after a character from a fighting game. We got to chatting and ended up talking a lot, like, everytime we were both on game. It was only game stuff. I didn't even know his name, he didn't know mine, the most we knew about each other was that we were both 22, and I told him that I have a boyfriend I live with.

I figured we were friends enough to be friends on Facebook. Not a big deal. I added him, and my possessive-richard simmons boyfriend found out and started throwing a fit about me adding guys to my "supposedly" private Facebook (because I make a big deal about not adding people I don't know) and whatever. I ended up just deleting the guy to make him happy, and because it's just some guy in a video game, I don't care that much, but jesus.

He says it's just adding him on Facebook that bothers him, that he doesn't even care about who I talk to in game. lol.

Sounds like a trust issue to me, but he swears it's not. He says it's because my best friend has upskirts of me and stuff on her Facebook page and he doesn't feel comfortable with random guys being able to see stuff like that.

Any guys wanna gimmie their take on the situation? This was yesterday and we got over it last night, but it was so silly at the time.

[MrPower]

He says it's just adding him on Facebook that bothers him, that he doesn't even care about who I talk to in game. lol.

Sounds like a trust issue to me, but he swears it's not. He says it's because my best friend has upskirts of me and stuff on her Facebook page and he doesn't feel comfortable with random guys being able to see stuff like that.

Any guys wanna gimmie their take on the situation? This was yesterday and we got over it last night, but it was so silly at the time.

Oh hey. Never expected to see you posting on this thread

wtf upskirts? hahaha

really does sound like a trust issue to me. If your boyfriend tries to control yourself in any way, I think it could be mainly b/c of his insecurities... I'm pretty sure you conduct your behavior in a manner where you are worthy of being trusted, so it appears to be an issue on his part.

Little things like these can blow up to be a serious issue later on...

[Guest shortnsweet]

Ok I guess I will post this even though I've been trying not to think about it.

So there is this guy who I guess I'm friends with but not really close friends. We hang out like once a month and mostly chat on AIM. One day he just started to send very flirtatious IMs and texts and I guess I would flirt back just to keep the conversation going (I do like him though). I mean we would sign off AIM and then go to texting while the both of us are getting ready for bed. He would continuously text me even if he was out doing stuff.

So then we hung out last Wednesday at his house and just watched a movie but nothing happened. Before we hung out we kept texting from 10-2. After that he stopped texting me so I started to text him just so he wouldn't always be the one texting first. However his responses were just normal and no longer flirtatious. He also didn't respond as much. Like I would send a text, he would respond, i send another & then no response. I also haven't talked to him on AIM in like a week for unknown reasons. I stopped texting him but I want to know why did he stop contacting me? And if possible what were his intentions in the first place?

[Guest Gofishus]

Hahaha, I guess I'll make a post just for the heck of it, not really a big deal, but why not, since people think I act like I think I'm the mini cooper, well here, I have problems, too!

So, I play RagnarokOnline, a lot. I tend not to socialize in the game much because I'm not good at it and I know a lot of others take it seriously. Whatever, I like playing by myself. Well, I ended up "meeting" some guy in game who had a character named after a character from a fighting game. We got to chatting and ended up talking a lot, like, everytime we were both on game. It was only game stuff. I didn't even know his name, he didn't know mine, the most we knew about each other was that we were both 22, and I told him that I have a boyfriend I live with.

I figured we were friends enough to be friends on Facebook. Not a big deal. I added him, and my possessive-richard simmons boyfriend found out and started throwing a fit about me adding guys to my "supposedly" private Facebook (because I make a big deal about not adding people I don't know) and whatever. I ended up just deleting the guy to make him happy, and because it's just some guy in a video game, I don't care that much, but jesus.

He says it's just adding him on Facebook that bothers him, that he doesn't even care about who I talk to in game. lol.

Sounds like a trust issue to me, but he swears it's not. He says it's because my best friend has upskirts of me and stuff on her Facebook page and he doesn't feel comfortable with random guys being able to see stuff like that.

Any guys wanna gimmie their take on the situation? This was yesterday and we got over it last night, but it was so silly at the time.

I think it's silly to be angry over something like that. It's just a guy in a video game, like you said. But I think those 'upskirt' shots and stuff...you need to take care of that stuff lol

[MrPower]

Ok I guess I will post this even though I've been trying not to think about it.

So there is this guy who I guess I'm friends with but not really close friends. We hang out like once a month and mostly chat on AIM. One day he just started to send very flirtatious IMs and texts and I guess I would flirt back just to keep the conversation going (I do like him though). I mean we would sign off AIM and then go to texting while the both of us are getting ready for bed. He would continuously text me even if he was out doing stuff.

So then we hung out last Wednesday at his house and just watched a movie but nothing happened. Before we hung out we kept texting from 10-2. After that he stopped texting me so I started to text him just so he wouldn't always be the one texting first. However his responses were just normal and no longer flirtatious. He also didn't respond as much. Like I would send a text, he would respond, i send another & then no response. I also haven't talked to him on AIM in like a week for unknown reasons. I stopped texting him but I want to know why did he stop contacting me? And if possible what were his intentions in the first place?

As much as I wish to be otherwise, I'm not psychic.

Are you sure he was flirtatious? Sometimes, we tend to see things as we want to, rather than what they really are.

But here's a guess from a nub: during that time when he was supposedly flirtatious, you guys haven't been close. correct? well, the unknown/new (in this case, you), can be seen as desirable. He may have pursued to capture your attention, and you gave it to him. He didn't really have to try hard to get your attention, so the value of your attention may have dropped.On the effort scale of 1 (being super easy) to 10 (near impossible), you may have fit around the 3 area.

Let me explain. The more effort you put into seeking somebody you like, the more worthwhile it seems when you (for lack of a better word) "obtain" them. but once it's to the point of exhaustion, it is no longer desired b/c it's not worth the effort.

then again, I could be wrong. I just got off work and got home around 10:50 or so. sorry if that didn't make sense at all

[saymynamewithasmile]

this guy. he's always teasing me and laughing at me. sometimes he can be really nice though. like when i was sick. he texted and called me and asked if i was doing okay and stuff. and 2 of my friends that also know him said that he asked both of them at separate times where i was when i stayed at home that day. for my bday he gave me this keychain that he said reminded him of me. and recently. ive been playing with his stationary for a bit. and said. here ill give you this pen. you cant get it in the US. i know it's not very significant. bt my friend said. im the only girl he gave a gift to that wasnt for a bday. so idk..haha. and i dont know why he comes to me to talk about stuff when he's distresed. we're not even that close..sometimes i get angry when he swears at me or talks about girls and porno in front of me. even though he's just kidding. but it's not something u say to a girl right? well other than that..haha. he puts his arm around me and touches my hair and stuff. and when we walk. he always gets rlly close. like he makes us walk shoulder to shoulder..

hellp me???

[MrPower]

this guy. he's always teasing me and laughing at me. sometimes he can be really nice though. like when i was sick. he texted and called me and asked if i was doing okay and stuff. and 2 of my friends that also know him said that he asked both of them at separate times where i was when i stayed at home that day. for my bday he gave me this keychain that he said reminded him of me. and recently. ive been playing with his stationary for a bit. and said. here ill give you this pen. you cant get it in the US. i know it's not very significant. bt my friend said. im the only girl he gave a gift to that wasnt for a bday. so idk..haha. and i dont know why he comes to me to talk about stuff when he's distresed. we're not even that close..sometimes i get angry when he swears at me or talks about girls and porno in front of me. even though he's just kidding. but it's not something u say to a girl right? well other than that..haha. he puts his arm around me and touches my hair and stuff. and when we walk. he always gets rlly close. like he makes us walk shoulder to shoulder..

hellp me???

what you mean help you? lol. are you talking about a hit, or snagging this guy?

I don't know how you feel about him, but I would make that decision sometime in the near future if you haven't already...

I've taken the liberty of bolding the signs that he likes you, and underlining the signs where it seems he's not into you. I'm not sure what you're asking of the guys in this thread, but I'm guessing that you want a translation of what's going on?

Other people can take a stab at this, but until you have an answer about what your feelings are towards this guy, and the specific question you want to ask, this is all i can really do...

[Guest B0SS]

this guy. he's always teasing me and laughing at me. sometimes he can be really nice though. like when i was sick. he texted and called me and asked if i was doing okay and stuff. and 2 of my friends that also know him said that he asked both of them at separate times where i was when i stayed at home that day. for my bday he gave me this keychain that he said reminded him of me. and recently. ive been playing with his stationary for a bit. and said. here ill give you this pen. you cant get it in the US. i know it's not very significant. bt my friend said. im the only girl he gave a gift to that wasnt for a bday. so idk..haha. and i dont know why he comes to me to talk about stuff when he's distresed. we're not even that close..sometimes i get angry when he swears at me or talks about girls and porno in front of me. even though he's just kidding. but it's not something u say to a girl right? well other than that..haha. he puts his arm around me and touches my hair and stuff. and when we walk. he always gets rlly close. like he makes us walk shoulder to shoulder..

hellp me???

I'm sorry, I did not get that.

Press 1 to get rid of him

Press 2 to help you decipher these actions of a 12 year old

Press 3 to help you get more comfortable with him

Press 5 to realize the press 4 option wasn't mentioned.