Ask The Fellas

[Guest Nerdy]

okay so this happened a few weeks ago but it's been really bugging me. so i have this crush (or at least i used to) on my friend. we go to the same college but we don't ever see each other around. so one day on msn he tells me we should meet up, and of course i agree to it. so we set a date and everything. and when the day comes for us to meet, i'm just sitting there like a richard simmons waiting for him. i don't have a cell (yeah i know =x) so i couldn't call him or anything. so basically he stood me up =x and i was talking to my friend the other day and he stood her up as well. can someone tell me wth is wrong with this guy. really pissing me off. (haven't had the chance to talk cus he never goes online anymore)

Either he's extremely forgetful, or he's a flake. Chances are that it's the latter. No point in chasing someone that doesn't put any effort forth whatsoever.

ok so there's this boy in my class (i'm in HS btw, and its kind of a relaxed class) and I wouldn't say I have a -crush- on him, but I think he's cute and he's tall enough and i want him to be my prom date!

anyway, i don't know him at all, so what would be the best way to go about getting to know him or whatever? i'm not really interested in him being my boyfriend, and i don't think he's really looking for a girlfriend either (he's a very focused on schoolwork/getting into college [we are seniors] type) BUT i don't know him at all so what do i doooooo...? D:

one of my friends told me i shouldn't give off very heavy interested vibes because he might think I like him, and it might scare him off...but idkidk. just give me some advice PLEASE~! XD

Your friend was right. I'm doubtful you'd give off interested vibes anyway, considering you're not interested. Just ask directly and it should be as simple as that.

[Guest berri_yumz]

Your friend was right. I'm doubtful you'd give off interested vibes anyway, considering you're not interested. Just ask directly and it should be as simple as that.

really? it wouldn't be weird being like "UM WANNA BE MY PROM DATE?" when I don't really know him...at all? (like, we're not even 'acquaintances'--we don't say hi or anything). btw, by interested vibes I meant in the very specific way, like special attention? ...not the natural way where you can just tell someone likes you by the way the look at you or something (if that makes sense).

[Guest Nerdy]

really? it wouldn't be weird being like "UM WANNA BE MY PROM DATE?" when I don't really know him...at all? (like, we're not even 'acquaintances'--we don't say hi or anything). btw, by interested vibes I meant in the very specific way, like special attention? ...not the natural way where you can just tell someone likes you by the way the look at you or something (if that makes sense).

It would catch him off guard, no doubt, but at least you're taking initiative. Seeing how you two don't know each other, it would take more effort to get to know him and all the formalities before asking if he wants to go to prom.

So your choices are to just ask straight out and risk coming off as a bit aggressive or weird, or to take more time to find out who he is and what he's about first.

[Guest DaViviCode]

thanks for the last time...now i have another question

what is the reason for a guy to invite you to the drinking with his friends?

to introduce you to his friends for approval? or just trying to brag that he has a girl with him?

Thing is there is a guy(a guy from last time, not the movie guy tho, it's his friend) who invited me to his usualy drinking spot with a couple of his closest college friends. At first it was really awkard coz i'm the only girl there but his friends are really nice and the mood got lighten. He introduced me as his friend but i think his friends knew there's something more coz they're teasing about me and him all the time

he's a good guy and i didn't think badly of him but my girl friends told me that guys usually invite girls to their party just to brag to their friends that they got girl. I don't wanna be the kind of girl if that's what he actually thinks of me but i'm not sure what to believe or do next ...

so why do most guys invite his "girl friend" to drinking? to introduce her to his friends or there's something else? please please tell me i'm confused right nowwww

[Guest Nerdy]

thanks for the last time...now i have another question

what is the reason for a guy to invite you to the drinking with his friends?

to introduce you to his friends for approval? or just trying to brag that he has a girl with him?

Thing is there is a guy(a guy from last time, not the movie guy tho, it's his friend) who invited me to his usualy drinking spot with a couple of his closest college friends. At first it was really awkard coz i'm the only girl there but his friends are really nice and the mood got lighten. He introduced me as his friend but i think his friends knew there's something more coz they're teasing about me and him all the time

he's a good guy and i didn't think badly of him but my girl friends told me that guys usually invite girls to their party just to brag to their friends that they got girl. I don't wanna be the kind of girl if that's what he actually thinks of me but i'm not sure what to believe or do next ...

so why do most guys invite his "girl friend" to drinking? to introduce her to his friends or there's something else? please please tell me i'm confused right nowwww

Depends on the situation--have you guys gone out before this happened? If this is the first time you've gone to hang out, then you're probably just a cool friend he'd like to show to the friends. It could also be that he's showing his friends this girl he likes a lot.

[Guest ulat_bulu]

I have a question also...

Who do guys like more?

A girl who is really clever, that guys can't compete with her eventhough you guys all want to defeat her grades. She is really clever that you guys can't find something that she doesn't know. But she's kinda stubborn and you guys always have fight with her. VERY OFTEN. But she is willing to make you guys a food by her own

OR....

A girl who's laid back, funny, easygoing, not-so-stubborn... She's fun to be around with and you can discuss anything with her. She likes games and music. She has many hobbies and almost can do anything, except cooking. And she is not so smart than the 1st girl... Her knowledge is wide and she knows what's going on in the world, but she is kinda suck in her college. She likes to sleep a lot and doing something fun, rather than just study.

So... Who do you guys prefer??

[Guest Nerdy]

I have a question also...

Who do guys like more?

A girl who is really clever, that guys can't compete with her eventhough you guys all want to defeat her grades. She is really clever that you guys can't find something that she doesn't know. But she's kinda stubborn and you guys always have fight with her. VERY OFTEN. But she is willing to make you guys a food by her own

OR....

A girl who's laid back, funny, easygoing, not-so-stubborn... She's fun to be around with and you can discuss anything with her. She likes games and music. She has many hobbies and almost can do anything, except cooking. And she is not so smart than the 1st girl... Her knowledge is wide and she knows what's going on in the world, but she is kinda suck in her college. She likes to sleep a lot and doing something fun, rather than just study.

So... Who do you guys prefer??

Second girl for me. First girl would be fun because she likes to create friction, but it gets old real quick. Second girl rocks, because she has hobbies she enjoys apart from studying. She's also very talented at a lot of things, which is hot.

[Guest latina]

What does a guy do if his girlfriend gives him a silent treatment? (ex. she doesnt reply to his text messages, doesnt pick up the phone etc etc.)

[Guest yuwing]

What does a guy do if his girlfriend gives him a silent treatment? (ex. she doesnt reply to his text messages, doesnt pick up the phone etc etc.)

worried. question the relationship?

I have a question also...

Who do guys like more?

A girl who is really clever, that guys can't compete with her eventhough you guys all want to defeat her grades. She is really clever that you guys can't find something that she doesn't know. But she's kinda stubborn and you guys always have fight with her. VERY OFTEN. But she is willing to make you guys a food by her own

OR....

A girl who's laid back, funny, easygoing, not-so-stubborn... She's fun to be around with and you can discuss anything with her. She likes games and music. She has many hobbies and almost can do anything, except cooking. And she is not so smart than the 1st girl... Her knowledge is wide and she knows what's going on in the world, but she is kinda suck in her college. She likes to sleep a lot and doing something fun, rather than just study.

So... Who do you guys prefer??

both are pretty crappy if you ask me. i'd pick first one

[Guest sea_eshah]

So there's this guy I recently met about a couple weeks ago. My cousin introduced us and he wanted to get to know me better so we exchanged phone numbers. 2 days after we met, I decided to call him up and we talked for about half an hour and ever since then, we've limited our calls to like 10-15 minutes long...which is weird because you'd think that someone who's interested in you would want to talk long. Now, we barely talk anymore. It's more like texting each other to ask how we're doing and such and such....So I thought, maybe I should invite him to hang out last weekend but got turned down because he said he had to work and were too busy but would make it up to me next time....Ever since we met, I've been the one trying to call him but almost never can reach him...while he's the one texting me...which I don't mind at all...but would prefer talking on the phone. I don't know.....maybe I'm just being paranoid because it's just weird. What do you think I should do? Should I just "get a move on" because the guy's probably not interested or "stake it out" because he might be?

We don't go to the same university and don't live in the same town. He lives like an hour away from where I live. I've spoken to some of the girls who goes to school with him and they told me he's a really nice guy and such a gentleman, that almost all the girls there have crushes on him....I don't know if that's supposed to be a good thing or not...

Thanks alot!!!

[Guest Nerdy]

What does a guy do if his girlfriend gives him a silent treatment? (ex. she doesnt reply to his text messages, doesnt pick up the phone etc etc.)

If it was a little fight, I just go cool down somewhere--go to the gym, hang with friends, or just watch tv/use computer.

For big fights, give her a few days and fire off like a text or two to show I still care and wait for her to cool down.

So there's this guy I recently met about a couple weeks ago. My cousin introduced us and he wanted to get to know me better so we exchanged phone numbers. 2 days after we met, I decided to call him up and we talked for about half an hour and ever since then, we've limited our calls to like 10-15 minutes long...which is weird because you'd think that someone who's interested in you would want to talk long. Now, we barely talk anymore. It's more like texting each other to ask how we're doing and such and such....So I thought, maybe I should invite him to hang out last weekend but got turned down because he said he had to work and were too busy but would make it up to me next time....Ever since we met, I've been the one trying to call him but almost never can reach him...while he's the one texting me...which I don't mind at all...but would prefer talking on the phone. I don't know.....maybe I'm just being paranoid because it's just weird. What do you think I should do? Should I just "get a move on" because the guy's probably not interested or "stake it out" because he might be?

We don't go to the same university and don't live in the same town. He lives like an hour away from where I live. I've spoken to some of the girls who goes to school with him and they told me he's a really nice guy and such a gentleman, that almost all the girls there have crushes on him....I don't know if that's supposed to be a good thing or not...

Thanks alot!!!

You're really thinking about the situation, but chill back for a bit. He might think you're moving too fast for him, or he's talking to another girl, maybe? Considering you're doing most of the legwork, he might not be used to that. If you're truly curious, ask your cousin what he's up to, lol

If he keeps being dodgy after you've given him some room, move on. There will be other guys that will give you equal treatment.

[Emiso]

Firstly, I'm sorry if this is too long.

So I have a BF of over a year, and just the last 5 months or so I've become extremely insecure. Previous relationships have left me insecure but that wasn't the case until just 5 months ago. I know my bf is very faithful and we HAD this good friend of ours lets call her Betty, well she pretty much got us together and we were both her friend, not too close friends with her but well..like school friends basically.

Anywho, so months went by and I started to notice that they play fight a lot and it began to bother me.

More months went by and my bf would argue about her being selfish and concieted and blabla.

But then umm the day before his birthday, Betty asked us to go to the beach to see the fireworks. I really wanted to go but then my bf was pretty upset with me cause of a argument we had earlier.

But then he suddenly called me and asked to meet him at the beach.

We met up with betty and it was then that i realized he probably decided to go to the beach cause Betty was lonely, not cause I wanted to go. Also, he put his arm around both of us and I moved away when he did that cause I was really upset.

After that, a few months later Betty self-invited herself to my BFs place and she stayed until 11pm and I got pretty upset again and I had an arguement with my BF. I wasn't mad at him though, but more at her. He didn't realize that though.

And now I'm not really talking to Betty anymore cause she just..cares about herself. And ever since that last incident my BF would always diss/insult Betty.

NOW. For the important part. A few weeks ago Betty showed me a convo they had on msn where he typed like

*hugs*

*hugs from behind*

and stuff on her birthday. (which was pretty way back)

but, ahh. I can't help but feel so insecure now. He keeps dissing her, and insulting her and standing up for me. But his actions are sorta proving me wrong. I never brought up any of those issues except for the play-fighting and Betty going to his place. I just don't know what to do. He seems very loyal and has a strong hate for people who cheat on their S/O.

Any advice would be helpful. Thanks for taking your time for reading this wall of text.

[Guest Nerdy]

Firstly, I'm sorry if this is too long.

So I have a BF of over a year, and just the last 5 months or so I've become extremely insecure. Previous relationships have left me insecure but that wasn't the case until just 5 months ago. I know my bf is very faithful and we HAD this good friend of ours lets call her Betty, well she pretty much got us together and we were both her friend, not too close friends with her but well..like school friends basically.

Anywho, so months went by and I started to notice that they play fight a lot and it began to bother me.

More months went by and my bf would argue about her being selfish and concieted and blabla.

But then umm the day before his birthday, Betty asked us to go to the beach to see the fireworks. I really wanted to go but then my bf was pretty upset with me cause of a argument we had earlier.

But then he suddenly called me and asked to meet him at the beach.

We met up with betty and it was then that i realized he probably decided to go to the beach cause Betty was lonely, not cause I wanted to go. Also, he put his arm around both of us and I moved away when he did that cause I was really upset.

After that, a few months later Betty self-invited herself to my BFs place and she stayed until 11pm and I got pretty upset again and I had an arguement with my BF. I wasn't mad at him though, but more at her. He didn't realize that though.

And now I'm not really talking to Betty anymore cause she just..cares about herself. And ever since that last incident my BF would always diss/insult Betty.

NOW. For the important part. A few weeks ago Betty showed me a convo they had on msn where he typed like

*hugs*

*hugs from behind*

and stuff on her birthday. (which was pretty way back)

but, ahh. I can't help but feel so insecure now. He keeps dissing her, and insulting her and standing up for me. But his actions are sorta proving me wrong. I never brought up any of those issues except for the play-fighting and Betty going to his place. I just don't know what to do. He seems very loyal and has a strong hate for people who cheat on their S/O.

Any advice would be helpful. Thanks for taking your time for reading this wall of text.

Sounds like you should have a little talk with him. Don't make a big deal out of it, but let him know it bothers you a bit and you can't help it. Insecurities can burrow into and bury themselves into the core of a relationship and shake things up nasty. Try and put these issues to rest and move forward with your relationship as best as you can. Oh yeah, be sure not to punish him for anything he hasn't done, lol

[Emiso]

Ahh, thing is I'm not suppose to know about the hugging thing on msn. And I really wanna bring that up but there's just no way to bring it up without him knowing that I've been snooping around. Which will probably get him upset thinking I don't trust him and such and in the end I won't get any answers or comfort.

[Guest Nerdy]

Ahh, thing is I'm not suppose to know about the hugging thing on msn. And I really wanna bring that up but there's just no way to bring it up without him knowing that I've been snooping around. Which will probably get him upset thinking I don't trust him and such and in the end I won't get any answers or comfort.

Bringing that up might scare him into thinking your degree of insecurity is really high. It's the fact that you shouldn't know, combined with the fact that it was a while back and it still bothers you. I don't know what to suggest exactly, but to try and forget about it. Yes, it's going to be hard to do that, but the only other option is to bring it up at the risk of further relationship turmoil. Weigh what bothers you to what you love getting out of this relationship and figure out if what bothers you is really worth worrying about. I guess that's way easier said than done, though.

[Guest sansan珊珊]

What does it mean when a guy pats you on the head and pinches your cheeks?

[Guest Nerdy]

What does it mean when a guy pats you on the head and pinches your cheeks?

Speaking for myself, I'll pat heads with just about anyone I have good rapport with. Cheek-pinching is reserved for girls I'm attracted to. But if this guy is pretty much physical with anyone and everyone, your guess is as good as mine. Generally, though, I think the level of physicality is a good indicator on how much he's interested.

[Emiso]

^

Ah, your replies are so wise. Thank you so much for your advice. I'm going to try and let go of it, I'm probably just thinking too much into it. Thanks again!

[Guest k.stella86]

if you already had a girlfriend, would you let a female friend hold you close (for far longer than the quick friendly hug and allow her to rest her head on your shoulder) and not resist her tight embrace? would you consider this just a friendly gesture?

[Guest Nerdy]

^

Ah, your replies are so wise. Thank you so much for your advice. I'm going to try and let go of it, I'm probably just thinking too much into it. Thanks again!

It's probably because I'm so old LOL