Ask The Fellas

[duykato]

Do guys like girls to be the one to ask them out first? >_<

And if you found out a girl liked you, would you think about her at all after you found out??

1) Generally.. I'd say yes.

2) I'd probably think about her a little bit. If I was interested, then yeah, I'd think about her a little bit more.

[Guest yuwing]

Over the past year, I've been pretty much acquaintances with this guy. Since January or so, he started getting math help from me and so we started hanging out more and more. We started talking about deeper things like our histories and sex and etc.. I felt that it was pretty clear that he liked me (and I felt the same way) but school ended in April and nothing was said. But over the summer, we kept talking. Whenever he went online, he would almost immediately msg me. In June he admitted that he liked me (maybe emphasis on the past tense) and I confessed too. He said that we could have been in a relationship. All was dandy and I felt pretty good...

Before school started, he stayed over at my apartment before his lease started. Nothing happened. I hung out with him for a few days and helped him and his roommates move in a bit. We never talked about what we said in June again, but we talked more. Now that school's started, he hasn't called me or even msg me. I asked him to come to class (because I wanted to see him, although I didn't say this), but he said he's too lazy and will just watch the lectures online.

I would really describe him as a free bird type with a lot to say and a lot of friends. He also told me that he likes girls quickly and loses interest quickly. Idk. That was before we "confessed". I'm much too quiet and shy, so maybe that turned him off since we came back. I just don't want to take the initiative because I've been burned too many times before. I don't know if I should even bother anymore.

Sounds like he already lost interest.

Hmmz... I think my question got buried D; so I'll ask it again?

It's really important to me... thanks in advance :]

no difference between guys or girls. just start with a description of the environment that might bring a conversation. try to have open ended questions. slowly introduce yourself (name, position, etc).

[Guest une_fleur]

i don't know whether your "interest" is pure or not, but it sounds like it is. if you want to make it less creepy, just get your friends to make another party/hang-out time and make sure he is invited. then ask him when it's an appropriate time.

do not be creepy, it might lead to some misinterpretations.

Some guys do like friendships with girls who are taken. it's networking. girls know more girls. so... having a friend who's a girl gives you access to more girls

Alright, thank you! I think I'm just going to forget about this guy, it's not really worth all that.

I can make more friends

I'm more concerned with your response to a guy being friends with a taken girl. Let's say besides the networking(what you said is funny, because I actually do try to hook up my guy friends all the time, haha) , do real legitimate friendships form? Or am I in a one sided relationships with all my guy friends?

[Guest yuwing]

If a really good looking guy meets a really cute girl, and he finds out that she's never had a boyfriend, does that make him want to be her first boyfriend? Do you think its genuine? And let's say all the girls that the guy has dated in the past are super hot, tall, skinny, great body, import model sorta, but the cute girl he meets just has a really cute face, but her body is like not...bombtastic: small breasts, short, and skinny. But lets say her sense of humor is great, she's a major tomboy, and has similar interests as him such as martial arts, movies, and music. Would you keep her as a friend or would you want to pursue a relationship with her knowing that in all honesty, physical appearance wise, you seem more compatible with a hot Victoria Secret model babe?

does that make him want to be her first boyfriend? = WTF?! in what fairy tale?

Do you think its genuine? = some guys will capitalize on this chance. Since some girls who never had a bf b4 are extremely fairy tale oriented.

Would you keep her as a friend or would you want to pursue a relationship with her knowing that in all honesty, physical appearance wise, you seem more compatible with a hot Victoria Secret model babe? = i personally prefer someone to talk to and share a life with rather than some babe to richard simmons, and never talk to her again until next time we richard simmons again. some guys are different though.

this is the f*cking reason why people should know the nature of the person before liking them. just because they're "good looking" doesn't indicate anything about them personally.

Alright, thank you! I think I'm just going to forget about this guy, it's not really worth all that.

I can make more friends

I'm more concerned with your response to a guy being friends with a taken girl. Let's say besides the networking(what you said is funny, because I actually do try to hook up my guy friends all the time, haha) , do real legitimate friendships form? Or am I in a one sided relationships with all my guy friends?

of course legitimate friendships can form. but personally, it's hard unless you aren't attracted to the person. then you get brainwashed by hormones and whatnot. but if the guy keeps his head out of the waters, think clearly, understand that he'll never be with her and respect her as a person, and not a love conquest, then he will be one of the best guy friends you will get!

[Guest yuwing]

What do u mean by "get over"? do u mean for the spark to die down? wouldn't that be a bad thing tho, cos that's exactly what keeps the relationship going rite...

One more q: are those guys who actually do the confessing themselves more worthy than those who would rather wait for the girl to do so? Doesn't it mean they obviously don't like the girl enough?? or is this an issue of personality, maturity etc? I always think the guys who are more of a gentleman know to do the right thing when wanting to pursue a girl...

i refer romantic love (or spark) as in the exaggerated form of interest in each other and heightened sexual desire. after the spark dies down (yes, it will eventually), the two of you will have to evaluate whether the relationship is worth continuing. some couples are able to stay together because through their initial exaggerated interest and sexual desire, they have built a system of trust and have found something that they like (and accept) about each other that is deeper than what meets the eye (the person's personality, past, background, future goals and their health, moral, mental and spiritual status). This is what I refer to as "get over".

Unfortunately, some couples do not find anything they really like about each other (other than their initial physical representation of themselves) so they break up. Some couples continue to remain together, denying and in disbeilef that their efforts and time spent with each other aren't a waste and purely based on physical attraction. We all want to believe that we aren't animals after all.

One more q: are those guys who actually do the confessing themselves more worthy than those who would rather wait for the girl to do so? Doesn't it mean they obviously don't like the girl enough?? or is this an issue of personality, maturity etc? I always think the guys who are more of a gentleman know to do the right thing when wanting to pursue a girl...

personally, i think that guys who do not confess when they are interested in someone suggests that they are worried about being hurt. this indicates that they do not have confidence in themselves in who they are. before one should have a love conquest, one should have a self development conquest. if you don't got your richard simmons together, how are you going to take care of her richard simmons too?

this goes for girls and guys.

be a man first before you want some pus.sy. and vice versa. girls who aren't mature to handle themselves, wouldn't be able to handle a relationship.

Do guys like girls to be the one to ask them out first? >_<

And if you found out a girl liked you, would you think about her at all after you found out??

Do guys like girls to be the one to ask them out first? = no one wants to risk the chance of being rejected. everyone prefers to be asked out first. BUT i think that those who aren't mature enough to handle rejection (an indicator of low confidence, immaturity and lack of self development) shouldn't be in a relationship in the first place. (refer to my response above for more details)

for 2nd question:

This is how a man's mind works:

A girl likes me. do i like her?

If yes, go out with her.

A girl likes me. do i like her?

If not, is she fugly? If yes, reject.

If she isn't fugly, then give attractive rating.

is attractive rating above the gf-attractiveness-rating-standard?

if yes, go out with her.

if attractive rating is below the gf-attractiveness-rating-standard, are there any traits about her (non physical) that might interest me?

if yes, go out with her.

if not, will I benefit at all from going out with her?

list of potential benefits: (check mark when applicable)

[ ] gaining sexual experience

[ ] having 1st gf experience

[ ] she does not know my friends or family, dumping her will not reduce my reputation

if 2 of the three potential benefits are met, go out with her.

if not, reject.

(some guys would skip the fugly part though)

[Guest selinaym]

question

I noticed that my ex best-friend (we don't talk often anymore) is kind of awkward when i'm there; for example, standing behind him in the lunch queue. Maybe it's just my imagination, but I feel tension in the air and everything, or like his trying to avoid me? I don't think that i've done something to offend him or anything. It would be nice to speak more often but it's hard to strike up a conversation. I've already asked him about it but he always just drops it so i've stopped asking him. Why is he like this?

[j'adoreAZNpop]

there's this guy that's so nice and all when it was just him and i talking.

but when there's other ppl that we know, he wouldnt talk a lot to me ...not like his "normal" self.

would it be risky if i ask him to see a movie sometime?

im not interested in dating right now but i see him as a cool friend....

he is also doing this martial arts....he has suggested i should try...i didnt give him definete answer that time but i think i will start next week...

so yes, would it be weird if i ask "what time are you now going to the center?"

even if he tells and my schedule is not same as him, ill still say something like "i'm going to try it too "

would he think i'm stalking him? hehe

[Guest Shui]

Alright

theirs this guy he has a girlfriend, but why is he always teasing and flirting with me at school, his girlfriend doesn't go to our school. we had a "thing" before, but we were both really busy so we just stopped, but it's not like we had any hard feelings.

he keeps on tlaking/flirting and people are even starting to notice

what does this meannn!?

[Guest yuwing]

there's this guy that's so nice and all when it was just him and i talking.

but when there's other ppl that we know, he wouldnt talk a lot to me ...not like his "normal" self.

would it be risky if i ask him to see a movie sometime?

im not interested in dating right now but i see him as a cool friend....

he is also doing this martial arts....he has suggested i should try...i didnt give him definete answer that time but i think i will start next week...

so yes, would it be weird if i ask "what time are you now going to the center?"

even if he tells and my schedule is not same as him, ill still say something like "i'm going to try it too "

would he think i'm stalking him? hehe

risky on the first one, not riskky on the 2nd.

Alright

theirs this guy he has a girlfriend, but why is he always teasing and flirting with me at school, his girlfriend doesn't go to our school. we had a "thing" before, but we were both really busy so we just stopped, but it's not like we had any hard feelings.

he keeps on tlaking/flirting and people are even starting to notice

what does this meannn!?

it means he's too immature to keep a steady relationship and be faithful to one girl he chose to be his gf. at least break up with her before you go flirting

[Guest deadgiveaway]

I know that whenever I post a question in here I'm always asking about something similar, but... if your only intentions with a girl are to have sex with her (which you guys have already done), would you bother to watch a movie with her and have your arm around her for literally the whole movie? but you guys didn't even fool around inside the theatre. Could something like that really mean absolutely nothing to a guy?

[chifuni]

deleted! thanks for input!

[Guest kdj72]

i refer romantic love (or spark) as in the exaggerated form of interest in each other and heightened sexual desire. after the spark dies down (yes, it will eventually), the two of you will have to evaluate whether the relationship is worth continuing. some couples are able to stay together because through their initial exaggerated interest and sexual desire, they have built a system of trust and have found something that they like (and accept) about each other that is deeper than what meets the eye (the person's personality, past, background, future goals and their health, moral, mental and spiritual status). This is what I refer to as "get over".

Unfortunately, some couples do not find anything they really like about each other (other than their initial physical representation of themselves) so they break up. Some couples continue to remain together, denying and in disbeilef that their efforts and time spent with each other aren't a waste and purely based on physical attraction. We all want to believe that we aren't animals after all.

personally, i think that guys who do not confess when they are interested in someone suggests that they are worried about being hurt. this indicates that they do not have confidence in themselves in who they are. before one should have a love conquest, one should have a self development conquest. if you don't got your richard simmons together, how are you going to take care of her richard simmons too?

this goes for girls and guys.

be a man first before you want some pus.sy. and vice versa. girls who aren't mature to handle themselves, wouldn't be able to handle a relationship.

Oh goshh it's quite scary to hear that r'ships start off based on purely physical attraction/sexual desires... i have nvr had a bf b4 and nor do i believe in pre-marital sex. I believe true r'ships should be sth alot more profound, where the 2 ppl help each other to grow & become better human beings. i suppose this probably depends on the person and what they are looking for in the first place.

Yes, i agree with what u've said - If a guy wants to have a r'ship with a girl, they should really get their act together first! Otherwise i don't think it's gonna work out well in the end for them. Having said that, i guess guys who've been in a few r'ships b4 would be more experienced and hence wud know how to work future r'ships better through their past learnings...

Thanks for your feedback

[Guest kimseo]

hmm..okay so, me and my best friend were on the phone, she said lets call the guy i like on 3-way but she told me to stay on mute, so i did. after they small talked for a bit she asked him if he liked me, he kept saying no but he was giggling, so she said "you promise you dont?" and he said "stop asking me" and he wouldnt promise (was he saying no b/c shes my best friend?). so she told him "lets call her [me]", he asked why, she said to ask if i liked him, he said okay but he wanted to stay on mute (to see how "shy i got" -0-) so she told me to hang up in a text, i hung up and picked up again when she called. i eventually did say that i liked him [a lot] & pretended i didnt hear anything before...and i hung up and she said he was freaking out a little and kept saying to hang up afterwards so they did (btw this was all planned on the spot by my best friend).

so he knows i like him, but he doesnt know. that i know. that he knows. (hopefully that makes sense >_<)

and since then he has been calling/texting me LOTS more.

before i told him he did call/text everyday (literally since day 1)..but now its a lot more. and a lot more of "<3, -3-, >3<" <- this

yet..he hasnt really mentioned anything about me liking him.

o__o i dont get it? he knows how i feel but hes not doing anything except flirt with me more.

i also noticed when he was talking to my friend he talks WAY differently to me than with her...

he's not playing with me (pretty sure) since he doesnt call/text girls as much as he does with me..

so why doesnt he do anything about it?

he's 17 im 15.

sorry this is kinda long, but thank you <3

the bolded are the questions

[Guest Slug]

hmm..okay so, me and my best friend were on the phone, she said lets call the guy i like on 3-way but she told me to stay on mute, so i did. after they small talked for a bit she asked him if he liked me, he kept saying no but he was giggling, so she said "you promise you dont?" and he said "stop asking me" and he wouldnt promise (was he saying no b/c shes my best friend?). so she told him "lets call her [me]", he asked why, she said to ask if i liked him, he said okay but he wanted to stay on mute (to see how "shy i got" -0-) so she told me to hang up in a text, i hung up and picked up again when she called. i eventually did say that i liked him [a lot] & pretended i didnt hear anything before...and i hung up and she said he was freaking out a little and kept saying to hang up afterwards so they did (btw this was all planned on the spot by my best friend).

so he knows i like him, but he doesnt know. that i know. that he knows. (hopefully that makes sense >_<)

and since then he has been calling/texting me LOTS more.

before i told him he did call/text everyday (literally since day 1)..but now its a lot more. and a lot more of "<3, -3-, >3<" <- this

yet..he hasnt really mentioned anything about me liking him.

o__o i dont get it? he knows how i feel but hes not doing anything except flirt with me more.

i also noticed when he was talking to my friend he talks WAY differently to me than with her...

he's not playing with me (pretty sure) since he doesnt call/text girls as much as he does with me..

so why doesnt he do anything about it?

he's 17 im 15.

sorry this is kinda long, but thank you <3

the bolded are the questions

hahahaha wow, when i read that i was like, "wow this is some high school shiet" and yes.. i am correct.

he's not doing anything because he's a wuss. it's that simple.

Ok, so i'm currently a senior at my school. And I think there's this freshman boy that likes me.

We have one class together, and during that class, he'd glance at me every so often. I look around

often because i'm usually bored, and I can feel his eyes burning on my back. My friend is friends with

him and she recently got a haircut. He told her on MSN, "You should get ___ (my name)'s haircut,

it's so pretty."

But the thing is, he has a girlfriend who goes to a different school than he does.

I'm just wondering if he DOES like me? Because that'd be a little weird, haha.

it's not weird for a dude to like a girl or have a crush on her... or to just think some chick is hot.

I know that whenever I post a question in here I'm always asking about something similar, but... if your only intentions with a girl are to have sex with her (which you guys have already done), would you bother to watch a movie with her and have your arm around her for literally the whole movie? but you guys didn't even fool around inside the theatre. Could something like that really mean absolutely nothing to a guy?

I don't see why not.. guys still want to have someone there w/ them to enjoy things with. whether he has feelings for the girl or not is up to him, but he doesn't need to have feelings to do those things with girls.

[Guest kimseo]

^ yeah basically -__-" haha. thanks though.

[Guest palacequeen11]

I'm not sure if this was asked before (too many pages to read through) but..

Do guys think of lying about going out as a white lie? And if so WHY?!?! Lol

[Guest shirotaka]

I'm not sure if this was asked before (too many pages to read through) but..

Do guys think of lying about going out as a white lie? And if so WHY?!?! Lol

... I don't even know how to answer this cause I don't even know what the question is stating...care to give me an example? Really what you're asking isn't exactly clear.

Though if you're asking why a guy would lie about having gone out with someone but really never did, he was probably protecting his ego.

P.S. Sometimes I think people ask stupid questions just to keep this topic alive...

[Guest palacequeen11]

I didn't mean it as in going out with someone.

It was more like if he's going out to party or something.

[Guest shirotaka]

I didn't mean it as in going out with someone.

It was more like if he's going out to party or something.

Well that can have various reasons and most guys don't do that. If they're not doing anything then they'll say it. If its because they don't want to hang out with you then there's your reason. Also once again ego goes a long way with a man.

[Guest yuwing]

I know that whenever I post a question in here I'm always asking about something similar, but... if your only intentions with a girl are to have sex with her (which you guys have already done), would you bother to watch a movie with her and have your arm around her for literally the whole movie? but you guys didn't even fool around inside the theatre. Could something like that really mean absolutely nothing to a guy?

There's no absolute answer to this.

If putting his arm around you for the whole movie made you trust him and think his feelings are pure, then he's doing a good job manipulating you. Then again, his feelings could be pure.

What i'm saying is that since I don't know the guy personally, I can't tell you what he is thinking or what his motives are. it's best if you find out for yourself.

frankly, you shouldn't be doing anything remotely sexual if you do not trust him.

P.S. Sometimes I think people ask stupid questions just to keep this topic alive...

nah there's no such thing as a stupid question O: