Ask The Fellas

[Guest EmY16]

So, I'm kinda conflicted about what to do...this guy (who I've known for over a year now) and I have been getting really close lately. He randomly asked for my number a couple of weeks ago & we've been having conversations ever since (by text). He told me one night that he liked me. A couple of days ago, when I was out of town, he told me that he wanted to hold my hand and kiss me on the cheek. I'm conflicted because a part of my thinks that he's playing about this: he doesn't talk to me all the time, hasn't introduced me to his friends, and I almost always initiating things. And he also has a lot of friends that are girls and I wonder if he's like this to all of them. I hope I'm over-thinking this because I really like him and I want to be his girlfriend. What should I do?

[Guest Andreas1]

 And he also has a lot of friends that are girls and I wonder if he's like this to all of them. I hope I'm over-thinking this because I really like him and I want to be his girlfriend. What should I do?

Start to make him chase you a bit.. don't always be the one to initiate. If you initiated last time wait for him to do it the next time..etc.

Do you guys actually date or just text?

[Guest EmY16]

Start to make him chase you a bit.. don't always be the one to initiate. If you initiated last time wait for him to do it the next time..etc.

Do you guys actually date or just text?

Just text for now, since we can't see each other.I just don't want to push it too far (if that makes sense).

[Guest Illicit]

do guys wait until they're 99% sure that the girl likes them back until he asks her out? is it based on timing, waiting a few months, or is it depending on the guy?

i've always wondered.

[Guest]

^

^

Try talking also ^^ In-person interaction > Texting intereaction

[Guest Andreas1]

do guys wait until they're 99% sure that the girl likes them back until he asks her out? is it based on timing, waiting a few months, or is it depending on the guy?  

i've always wondered.

Sometimes I'll take a shot in the dark... it depends if I know I'm gonna have a lot of time to interact and get to know the girl or if she's someone I met on the fly. For instance, I once met a gorgeous girl in line at school, I heard her say she was new to the area to someone so I sparked up a convo saying that I was a local and that I'd be happy to show her around sometime if she would like. She knew I was basically asking her out on a date and agreed. I think it's a bit easier to pull a move like that off when you can establish some trust quickly, like the fact that she knew I was a student at the school not just some random guy off the street. Some guys probably wouldn't have said anything to her and tbh I had to psych myself up to do it...she was so stunning though that I couldn't let the chance pass me by lol..nerves be damned. So to answer your question I think in most cases it comes down to a combination of how shy the guy is and weighing the chances of success when an opportunity presents itself.

Just text for now, since we can't see each other.I just don't want to push it too far (if that makes sense).

I understand that you don't want to risk it, but if you think about it I'm sure you want someone that wants you just as much. It's no fun if all the effort is on your part, and it doesn't bode well for a happy relationship. If he doesn't care enough to contact you from time to time then he's not worth it, trust me.

[odaesan]

do guys wait until they're 99% sure that the girl likes them back until he asks her out? is it based on timing, waiting a few months, or is it depending on the guy?  

i've always wondered.

It's not like that for most guys, but I admit it's like that for me. I won't ask unless it genuinely looks like she likes me. Many guys will ask any girl who he thinks looks good regardless of what she thinks but there are some who don't do anything unless they know it really could work.

[Guest pinkberry.]

Two completely different circumstances:If a guy is known to be a player and whenever he has a conversation with you he sighs and says he wants a girlfriend, what does that mean? Is he finally ready to settle down?Let's say there is a guy that knows he is good looking but he is still insecure.  Numerous people notice the way he acts around a particular girl and that there is a great possibility that he may like her. Some are even 100% sure that he likes her. He calls her cute and constantly attempts to get her attention and from what she has said, he even jokes that some of the things she does are "hot" or "sexy".  But when someone tells them that they look like a couple and are cute together, he's the first to say that she's like a sister to him. What's that about?

[odaesan]

If a guy had a conversation like that with me, I'd think he'd consider finally getting himself a solid relationship because there would be no reason for him to say that while speaking with me otherwise. If he had that conversation with a girl, I'd think that the player might be saying it to lure the girl.

I think the guy likes the girl but he's being bashful because he may feel embarrassed in a situation like that.

[Guest pinkberry.]

Thanks for the response! I have another question.  For the second scenario, what if he discussed it with the girl in private and insisted that he only saw her as a little sister? And why go as far as saying she's like his sister rather than saying he just sees her as a friend?

[odaesan]

Thanks for the response! I have another question.  For the second scenario, what if he discussed it with the girl in private and insisted that he only saw her as a little sister? And why go as far as saying she's like his sister rather than saying he just sees her as a friend?

I don't know. If I had a sister, I wouldn't say she did hot or sexy things. I guess the context of the discussion may help determine what he's thinking, but saying that one is more like a sibling than a friend means different things. To me, my best friends are my brothers. Others think that way and there's nothing wrong with that. Some people may also just say that to go into an extreme like saying "NO WAY!" while liking the person to move attention away from themselves and to me that seems that's what's happening. If the guy really does think of her as a sister and likes her in another way, then he's sick and she really needs to stay away from him.

[Guest]

Friend invited himself to my younger sister's showcase but the ticket costs $20. That is expensive and I feel a bit uncomfortable with him spending that much money for it. Should I offer to pay or ask him to reconsider his decision?

I feel really bad. I just said I was going to the showcase but he asked what time and then asked if he could come and help support.  Also, if you were in his shoes, would you mind if we sat with my other sister and parents?

[Guest zizou312]

What would a guy think of a girl who rejected him when he asked her out? How would he feel?

pretty rather infelicitous, he probably be depressed more months, years.. who knows? but its necessary so he can move on to better things.

[odaesan]

He made the decision. If he didn't figure out that family would be there after knowing someone from the family would for certain be there, then I think he can bare it. He may be able to live by moving with the flow judging from his quick decision and he should do fine in that situation. I personally would not mind. Oh, and we're here to help and we're not here for the incentive. If you appreciate the help, vote up the post, but don't offer it as a "reward".

[Guest]

Thank you for your response! And will do / keep in mind.

[Guest youraDouche.]

him : Lina..

I've gotta tell you something.. And I only think it's fair that I do.

....

me: wat..?

him : Lina.. I haven't been talking to you lately because of a certain reason...

can i have some insights please ? i really dont want to doubt him and/or jump to conclusions..

[Guest Andreas1]

can i have some insights please ? i really dont want to doubt him and/or jump to conclusions..

Well we aren't psychic, but it sounds like he's trying to confess something serious... like cheating. I hope not but yea..

[Guest youraDouche.]

^ well we arent dating. however, we do both like each other and are very close.. but im not too sure at the moment.

[Guest Andreas1]

^ well we arent dating. however, we do both like each other and are very close.. but im not too sure at the moment.

I dunno.. just tell him to say what he needs to say.

[Guest HERMIT]

^

Yes.

But if he tries to tell you that he posts on soompi as either Andreas1 or HERMIT, then tell him to GTFO because he's lying.