Guys: Do You Pay For Dates?

[Guest]

i dont think people should go on romantic dates and get really into it with the flirting and the signals if there is no future in mind to be pursued.
as the great comrade mao zedong once said "romance with no intent of marriage, is sexual harassment"

[Guest HERMIT]

speedredefined said: ajlee613 said: i dont think people should go on romantic dates and get really into it with the flirting and the signals if there is no future in mind to be pursued.
as the great comrade mao zedong once said "romance with no intent of marriage, is sexual harassment"

[Guest brokenmachine]

HERMIT said: speedredefined said: ajlee613 said: i dont think people should go on romantic dates and get really into it with the flirting and the signals if there is no future in mind to be pursued.
as the great comrade mao zedong once said "romance with no intent of marriage, is sexual harassment"

[Guest AtomAgeStrawberry]

speedredefined said: Scenario 2 (party with typical Asian chicks): You're here because you want to date Asian girls, you're genetically pre-disposition to be attracted to them, you can't help it even though you know the next 2 hours is going to suck.  You walk to the club with high hopes, and you see Asian people at the front of the line shoving each other over.  You walk in through the front of the line, 1 random Asian chick goes "You're letting them in, my boyfriend is going to kick your richard simmons!"  Suddenly you see 8 cloned Asian dudes dressed the same way staring you down.  You're now in the club, and you get whacked in the face with Prada and LV.  You approach an Asian girl, you dance and first thing she says is "Buy me a drink."  You turn around, and you see 2 Asian chicks clawing each other's eyes out.  This continues on throughout the night.   
Scenario 2 is what Asian dudes have to do with if they want to consistently date Asian girls. You want to date them, but they make it so difficult.  Yeah, it sucks.  It's enough to make Buddah bitter. 
All the guys know:"Prada prada prada!"  (:55 mark of this video: 

)

[Guest hyobutts]

I feel really awkward when a guy forks over money to pay for me.  I'd love to make it equal and have each of us politely pay for ourselves.  Besides, just enjoying the other's company is enough.  They shouldn't have to pay for you as well.

[Guest hearthealer]

speedredefined said:

SlicedBread

said:

The whole "pay-for-dates because that's custom" thing is not a predominantly Asian girl thing at all. Even self-proclaimed White feminists still hold on to that vestigial gender role. 
The Charlton Heston meme is appropriate here, given the fury with which so many women defend this privilege of theirs:  they'll only give it up when someone "takes it from their cold dead hands" . 

[Guest hearthealer]

showoff

wrote:

»

@NaughtyDogI

addressed the "blanket statement" issue about a page ago.  I think it's obvious that when people say stuff like "Asian women are xxxxx" or "Korean people do xxxxx", they mean many/most and not ALL.  If you're in the minority, congratulations, but we're not talking about you.  Also, keep in mind that a minority's existence doesn't make the majority's rule any less true.And I provided everyone with statistics regarding the number of Asian females living in the USA versus the number of Asian females living outside of the USA.  While I cannot know how many of each group expects/demands the man to pay for everything, I'm confident that the majority of Asian women living outside of the USA still hold traditional gender roles, thus, they are more likely to expect/demand the man to pay for everything.  While I'd imagine that most females, regardless of race, would like the man to pay for everything, there's a distinct difference in attitude between expecting/demanding and liking/preferring. EDIT:  Guys in this thread, in order to cut down on the hurt feelings, I think we should start prefacing every comment we make with "most", "many", "the majority", "a lot", or some other variation.  That way, those in the minority can't accuse of of making a "blanket statement" even though it should just be a given that we don't mean 100%.  Apparently, that inference is too difficult for some to make.EDIT2:  That's like if a girl said "Asian guys are short.", then all these guys start yelling "OMG, BUT I'M ASIAN AND TALL!!  BLANKET STATEMENT!!!!!!!!!!".  Obviously the girl didn't mean 100% of all Asian men on the planet are short.  Why are people trying to make something out of nothing?EDIT3:  Also, to all the girls that are commenting in here, let me ask, how many girls have you gone out on dates with?  Us men are speaking from experience with many women (different ages, races, etc).  Are you also speaking from the same experience?  I'm curious to know if you're basing your opinion solely on how you act on dates or if you've dated a wide spectrum of women like we have.

[Guest SlicedBread]

@speedredefined My own experience tells me that White girls are no different than Asian chicks in this regard. If White girls as a group are not expecting you to pay, or not writing you off as cheap when you fail to do so on a "date", then you're getting special treatment from them that no one I know has gotten consistently. You should be happier because you are the man,dude.

hearthealer

 said:honestly if they really like the guy, where you go, what you do won't matter and while you can and will be expected (by most girls) to pay for the date, she'll find ways to make it up to you...like special lingerie sets for your eyes only

 

[Guest youngmaniee]

I say 6:4 or 7:3 is ideal, u can't pay for all unless you are so rich ..

[Guest AtomAgeStrawberry]

@slicedbread
if she is your gf she is into you no?

[[hF9]]

hyobutts

wrote:

»

I feel really awkward when a guy forks over money to pay for me.  I'd love to make it equal and have each of us politely pay for ourselves.  Besides, just enjoying the other's company is enough.  They shouldn't have to pay for you as well.

[Guest SlicedBread]

AtomAgeStrawberry said: @slicedbread
if she is your gf she is into you no?

[azurette]

ajlee613 said:this is a good method. it is more convinient and a good gesture for one person to pay the whole thing. but putting some cash in their pocket after shows your thinking about them and worried about their feelings and finances. if a girl tried to do this consistantly for me, i would eventually want to spend even more money on her because i'd be so happy that she is thinking about me so much

[Guest bishie]

I think it varies all over the map depending on the girl's upbringing.  Some girls are taught that the guy should always pay because it show he is able to take care of you.  Other girls feel that paying for some of the dates shows that you are independent and don't need to rely on the guy.  I've dated everywhere from 100% me to 70% the girl.  As a guy expect that you will pay for everything.  It seems that a girl being willing to go dutch means she often does not see you in a romantic light.
The type of restaurant that is acceptable to the girl also seems to vary widely.  I have dated girls who only will eat the following:1) Spicy Chinese Food (was always complaining the dishes were not spicy enough)2) French Food3) Vegan Food4) White table cloth restaurants with good service5) Anything but Korean food (this was a Korean girl)6) Anything she could not cook herself
The saying is that the path to a boy's heart is through his stomach.  However I seem far more adventurous in food than most girls.  Guys also value ambiance far less than girls it seems.  So as a guy expect to plan out your itinerary for your dream date based on your girl's dietary preferences.  So you may think since your gf likes cute things a date to Disney Land seems like a good idea.  However she only eats spicy Chinese food so you need to spend a short time there so she is able to eat her desired food choice. (Yes this actually happened).  In fact in general on dates expect to attend 1/2 or 1/4 of events.  So expect to attend one act of a 3 act play or 2 innings of a baseball game.  If you are able to attend more be thankful that your date becomes bored less easily than some other girls.

[Guest cristolephe]

Regardless of it being a date or not, guy or girl, when a girl or guy offers to pay I let them pay then give them a thank you drawing. It works pretty.But if you're a guy and wanna pay go ahead. Because so many girls and guys hang out just as friends, I prefer the person who asks pays. If I ask, I pay. If they ask, they pay. I know, I'm horrible.

[Guest cristolephe]

bishie said: I think it varies all over the map depending on the girl's upbringing.  Some girls are taught that the guy should always pay because it show he is able to take care of you.  Other girls feel that paying for some of the dates shows that you are independent and don't need to rely on the guy.  I've dated everywhere from 100% me to 70% the girl.  As a guy expect that you will pay for everything.  It seems that a girl being willing to go dutch means she often does not see you in a romantic light.
The type of restaurant that is acceptable to the girl also seems to vary widely.  I have dated girls who only will eat the following:1) Spicy Chinese Food (was always complaining the dishes were not spicy enough)2) French Food3) Vegan Food4) White table cloth restaurants with good service5) Anything but Korean food (this was a Korean girl)6) Anything she could not cook herself
The saying is that the path to a boy's heart is through his stomach.  However I seem far more adventurous in food than most girls.  Guys also value ambiance far less than girls it seems.  So as a guy expect to plan out your itinerary for your dream date based on your girl's dietary preferences.  So you may think since your gf likes cute things a date to Disney Land seems like a good idea.  However she only eats spicy Chinese food so you need to spend a short time there so she is able to eat her desired food choice. (Yes this actually happened).  In fact in general on dates expect to attend 1/2 or 1/4 of events.  So expect to attend one act of a 3 act play or 2 innings of a baseball game.  If you are able to attend more be thankful that your date becomes bored less easily than some other girls.

[Guest sw33twasabi]

 underneath the mask, there is a killer.It just disgusts me that a guy doesn't pay for date?? At least you and her should take turn. If i hear my guy friend doesn't pay, i don't even want to be friend with him anymore. I know he will use me some ways or the other. 

[Guest showoff]

sw33twasabi said:  underneath the mask, there is a killer.It just disgusts me that a guy doesn't pay for date?? At least you and her should take turn. If i hear my guy friend doesn't pay, i don't even want to be friend with him anymore. I know he will use me some ways or the other.

[atreyu]

I find it very gentlemanlike if a man pays for the date, especially if he is better off financially than me. It is a polite gesture and he earned plus points. Even if it is not essential for a good working relationship, I expect it in a way (in mind). 

[Guest showoff]

atreyu said: I find it very gentle if a man pays for the date, especially if he is moneyed more than me. Then it's a polite gesture and he earned plus points. Even if it is not nessesary for a good relationshop (that you dont know before), I expect it in a way (in mind).