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Is there something wrong with being a housewife?


Guest lemondrops11

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Guest lemondrops11

There's a stigma attached to being a housewife these days, so I pretend to be independent, but secretly I want to be a housewife. It's not that I'm lazy with school. I'm in my 20s and I have my Bachelors degree, a 2-year diploma, and I plan to take an online Masters program (which take 2-2.5 years for part-time) after I work for half a year. So mostly likely I have have my Masters done by the time I'm 30.

I want to be a housewife mainly for two reasons. First, although I will be getting my Masters, my degree, and diploma, none of those can really land me a job. Well, my diploma can, but the pay is not good (less than $20/hr) and the status of the occupation is on the low side. Based on my personality, I'm not the type to take leadership roles, so I know I'll be stuck in a dead-end job for the rest of my life. I'm only in my 20s, so I'm not fond of being stuck in a dead-end job for the next 35 years or so. Imagine doing the same crap everyday and not having the thrill of moving up o_o. Plus, the raise is only minimal, like probably a maximum of $2-3 raise from when I first started in my 20s all the way to my late 50s. Who would want to do the same crap everyday, making pretty much the same everyday, lol.

Second reason is because I don't want to do 35-40hrs a week of work and then come home and do chores. I know the husband can do chores too, but let's face it, men just aren't thrilled of doing chores. Women are more inclined to want to live in a clean home, so the women will usually have to suck it up and do the majority of the housework (like maybe 60-70%) even if they know that it's unfair. Like no way I'm going to work full-time and doing most of the housework lol.

I could do part-time, and I guess that's the best solution, but like I said, I don't really like my career. It's not a career to brag about. In fact, I'm sort of ashamed of it. Plus, that career involves me investing in it, like going to renew my certificates and paying to do stuff just to keep my license. I just don't think it's worth the investment if I'm just going to be doing part-time. It's like I'm investing to keep my license just to get meager part-time pay. And yes, I will be getting my Masters but that degree is mostly out of interest...can't really pursue an actual career with that. It's kind of like getting a history or anthropology degree...you can't do anything with that.

I dunno, I just want to be a housewife, but I don't think my bf would like that. We've talked about marriage. He never said anything about me being a housewife. I have a feeling he'd rather have me work. But I don't want to...and plus, I want to take care of my husband and kids all by myself. I don't want to go to work and then do all that at home. I want to spend quality, happy time with my family without feeling stressed out.

What are your thoughts?

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I don't think there's anything wrong, truthfully. If you want it, go for it, but definitely find a husband who can support both you, your want of being a housewife, and your kids financially and mentally! And be sure you don't have a romanticized idea of what a housewife is. Truth be told, I've met a couple of stay-at-home mothers who wish they had something else to do than to watch the kids. So what they do is bake at home and sell it or something similar, for both extra cash and just as "something to do."

Most families I know also need the support of both parents to live comfortably, especially with kids. I guess this may be the reason why being a housewife isn't exactly a woman's first choice.

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Theres nothing wrong being a housewife. Many of my female friends are one.

Well, I don't like working too, just want to be a housewife.

My hubby supports me, even though it's better if I work too. So, besides secured financially, we also have extra money for luxury things.

He wants me to stay home because he doesn't want our baby to be raised by strangers at the daycare. He spent his childhood there and he hated it. Plus, daycare is expensive, costs $800-1000/mo. Dang pricey! So instead of wasting money on DC, he prefers I just stay home with the kid.

Then, if we both work, by the time we are home from work at 5:30 pm, we only have 3-4 hrs to spend with the baby, because she sleeps at 8-9 pm. If I dont work, at least this way I have time to connect and build good relationship with her.

Yah, his parents told us many times that we should move closer to them. That way I could work and they could babysit my baby. I don't want that, I'm afraid if I let them babysit her, she would have closer relationship with them than with us, or at least with me. My hubby agreed too. Maybe im being unreasonable, but I'm a first-time parent, so I'm being protective.

Once the kid is big enough and able to go home from school by herself, I will start working again. Well that's the plan. :ph34r:

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Guest bona fide*

I want to spend quality, happy time with my family without feeling stressed out.

Being a housewife/mother can be just as, if not more, stressful, especially if the two of you decide to live on one income. I'm not saying it's a bad alternative but just keep in mind that whatever you choose is going to have its fair share of disadvantages.

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Guest happybubble

Like what they said, there's nothing wrong of wanting to be a housewife~ sometimes I think about being one too because I started working at a young age, and I want a break too... but also because of this, I don't think I could stand not earning income. It's really complicated -_-

Anyway, my bf always joke that he will become a househusband in the future because he knows I would still continue working. But if we get kids, for sure I'll quit work and be a full-time mother :)

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Guest Dazzle and Destroy

Theres nothing wrong being a housewife. Many of my female friends are one.

Well, I don't like working too, just want to be a housewife.

My hubby supports me, even though it's better if I work too. So, besides secured financially, we also have extra money for luxury things.

He wants me to stay home because he doesn't want our baby to be raised by strangers at the daycare. He spent his childhood there and he hated it. Plus, daycare is expensive, costs $800-1000/mo. Dang pricey! So instead of wasting money on DC, he prefers I just stay home with the kid.

Then, if we both work, by the time we are home from work at 5:30 pm, we only have 3-4 hrs to spend with the baby, because she sleeps at 8-9 pm. If I dont work, at least this way I have time to connect and build good relationship with her.

Yah, his parents told us many times that we should move closer to them. That way I could work and they could babysit my baby. I don't want that, I'm afraid if I let them babysit her, she would have closer relationship with them than with us, or at least with me. My hubby agreed too. Maybe im being unreasonable, but I'm a first-time parent, so I'm being protective.

Once the kid is big enough and able to go home from school by herself, I will start working again. Well that's the plan. :ph34r:

Yes, my thoughts exactly!

My boy will be due in june, and I plan to raise my child than to let someone else babysit. Although my schooling is on hold, you can always go back to school and finish.. but you will never get your time back with your child.

There is also nothing wrong with getting a part time job for some extra cash :)

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Guest goddessofkrw

I want to be a housewife mainly for two reasons. First, although I will be getting my Masters, my degree, and diploma, none of those can really land me a job. Well, my diploma can, but the pay is not good (less than $20/hr) and the status of the occupation is on the low side. Based on my personality, I'm not the type to take leadership roles, so I know I'll be stuck in a dead-end job for the rest of my life. I'm only in my 20s, so I'm not fond of being stuck in a dead-end job for the next 35 years or so. Imagine doing the same crap everyday and not having the thrill of moving up o_o. Plus, the raise is only minimal, like probably a maximum of $2-3 raise from when I first started in my 20s all the way to my late 50s. Who would want to do the same crap everyday, making pretty much the same everyday, lol.

Second reason is because I don't want to do 35-40hrs a week of work and then come home and do chores. I know the husband can do chores too, but let's face it, men just aren't thrilled of doing chores. Women are more inclined to want to live in a clean home, so the women will usually have to suck it up and do the majority of the housework (like maybe 60-70%) even if they know that it's unfair. Like no way I'm going to work full-time and doing most of the housework lol.

So it all boils down to the wage and status of the job and because you refuse to take on a full time job and do chores at the same time? What if you have a high paying and high status job? What if your husband takes on half of the chores? Would that change your mind?

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Guest ilmilione

No, it's pretty noble actually. I don't think I could ever do it, I have too many career ambitions (which is basically my life, I don't even think of family things) and personal goals I know I need to do, plus I'd get bored at home all the time.. but if you really love the idea of your entire life revolving around your home and duties there, then fair enough. Just make sure you find a guy ready for that.

Also, keep in mind that being at home might be very stressful on you too - your husband will probably (most likely) need to work even harder to support you both, so chances are you'd be home 99% of the time whereas he'd be home very little. Your kids will be a lot to handle all the time too, and while you can have hobbies (and should, of course), those will take a backseat to your "career" aka being a mom.

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A lot of times people forget that being a "housewife" is a legitimate, full-time and more often than not, over-time job. If you think of all the things that are involved in keeping a house, i.e. cooking 3 healthy meals a day, cleaning, taking care of kids/pets, etc. and then think of how much people charge for each of those services... it's really quite expensive. Notice how only rich people have personal chefs (or eat out all the time), chauffeurs, housekeepers, etc. (and as people mentioned above, daycare is expensiiiiive!)

I think it's really unfortunate that being a housewife comes with a stigma of laziness or whatever :/ AND that women are still expected to do most of the housework if she has a job. And let's face it, it takes much more effort for girls to get a good job and be payed the same as a man for it :( (and these days, it's hard for ANYONE to get a job lol). sigh :sweatingbullets:

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Guest kels.huns

I would say my ideal job is being a LOVED housewife.

But while I'm still young - I'm 23, I'd like to work & reach my full potentials. But I definitely understand your stand on this.

You can work part time & be a housewife & mom.

With my contracted job, I work 35 hours a week. I can work from home, leave work early, etc.

I usually leave around 3pm, get home by 3:20pm and I start cooking right away and do chores. Yes, I'm playing house with my bf atm haha. I like this schedule of mine, but once we are married & have kids, it could get tricky.

So IDK, but being a housewife & mom has always been my dream job.

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Guest KeroKai

For the most part I don't think there's anything wrong with being a housewife.

But I'd just like to point out that for you to be something, chances are it'll mean that your spouse has to sacrifice something in order to support that lifestyle.

I don't know. In an ideal situation, I'd prefer a lifestyle where I could both be involved with my spouse and children. Rather than the idea that I spend most of my hours supporting my wife and children who I would have less time to see because of the income situation.

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Guest honeypills

I think there's nothing wrong with being a housewife if your intentions are to take care of your family and your kids, unless you really let yourself go mentally and have no capacity to raise your kids properly about things that range from basic schoolwork to work situations or current events, etc. Also, I respect a girl who admits this than one who denies that she is a 'mere' housewife and pretends she is better and looks down on other women who are housewives. not everyone is meant to fulfill a work role and those who aren't happy there, and aren't fit for the workplace shouldn't feel pressured to do so.

oh and only if your household's financial situation allows you the luxury.

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No, I don't think there is absolutely anything wrong with being a housewife - so long as it's a role freely accepted on one side and it's not a role that's underappreciated and exploited by the other.  Families do with what they have to do and how they see fit for the preservation and nurturing of their family unit.  If the couple are in total agreement with their roles and how it benefits their overall common cause, then that's all that matters really.  BUT, the most important thing in all of this is that first everyone has to be on the same page and have mutual understanding of goals and direction.

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  • 1 month later...
Guest ecstaticstranger

Ideally, I'd like my wife to be a housewife because I'd want a bunch of kids. But then again, I don't think I could afford that situation. :/

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If you can afford it, and it makes you happy and your family happy, I don't see why not. Unless your lifestyle is fundamentally immoral, there is nothing 'wrong' with it. And for those people who judge, as long as you can justify your reasons, there shouldn't be a real problem.

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Guest prisonerzero

If you want to be a housewife, then go and be a housewife.

I, personally, would not want to be.

Plus, I don't really want kids so being a housewife would be pointless to me.

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Guest lightangel

Personally, I don't want to be a housewife.

1. It's boring at home doing the same thing everyday.

2. I want to make my own money.

3. I've heard countless of stories where the wife have a good job but her husband want her to be the housewife. So the wife decide to listen to her husband and stay home and be a housewife. But when they are in an argument, the husband always brought up the topic of how he's the one making money and she doesn't make any money (basically he's saying that she's a freeloader) so she have no say in how he spend "his" money.

I don't want to be in those wife's situation where the husband is the one who wants the wife to stay home and she listen to him. Then when she thinks the way her husband spending is irrational and he insult her and said she's a freeloader, it's him making the money not her.

4. It's a happy feeling when you know that you work hard and you receive a paycheck every month.

5. After you paid the bills and everything and if you have some left, you can decide how you want to spend the money and no one have a say in how you spend it because you are the one that work for it.

But that's just my own opinion. If you like to be a housewife, there is nothing wrong with that.

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There's nothing particularly wrong with being a housewife, but there's humility in work.

Also, seriously? Getting a master's degree out of interest rather than practicality? Do you think school is for "fun?" If you're fine with spending tens of thousands just to get a piece of paper with your name under a school's name, then I'm more so worried for your future husband's disposable income.

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