[Debate] Teens losing their virginity; Is it a shame or a pride?

[Guest helenzee]

i don't think it's a pride... but it's a personal choice.

[Guest vtsprout]

While I'm inclined to say it's neither, for the sake of the discussion I will admit towards thinking that it's more of a shameful thing than one to be proud of. It displays a lack of discipline, self restraint and general worldliness. I don't think many teenagers will experience instant regret or shame but, perhaps when they look back on their lives, they will feel that it would have been better to wait. 

It's certainly not something to boast about.

[Guest ichigo_no_powder]

I think that the most shameful thing is how there are people out there (beyond teenagers now) who think that it's a shame that they are still a virgin. I think it's shameful to be proud of having lost your virginity. And finally to answer the actual question itself, I think yes.

[BingBong_514]

Only you should know when you've lost your virginity and whether it was regretful or not.

What's this shame and pride thing here?

If you're ready then you're ready.

There are many adult men and women who lose their virginity after a drunken, regrettable night at a party.

Now is that shame or pride...?

[Guest happybubble]

It's neither shame nor pride. It is a choice that you made for yourself. 

[damyoungji]

I am sure that teens think it is something to be proud of when they are still a teen, but later down the road, I am sure most of the ones who lost their virginity at a young age regret it and is rather shameful for the choice they made. I am not a teen and I personally think it is more of a "what on earth were you thinking?!" more than something someone should be ashamed of. In the end, the harm has already been done and those who lost it at a young age can only blame themselves for giving in to peer pressure, trying to be cool and rebellious, and/or not realizing that too much curiosity is not always a good thing.

[iRAWRoX]

In my opinion, I think whether one labels the act as shameful or prideful is up to the interpretation of the one who actually did it.

I myself, lost mines when I was 15 to the person I loved (we're still together. I'm 21 now) and if someone was to ask me whether I felt ashamed of myself or not for having sex in my teen years, I would have to say neither. I wasn't ashamed that I did it. I also wasn't proud enough to boast about it. All I know is I did it with someone I loved and that's more than enough.

The act was done between two people and labeling it shameful or prideful should be up to them to decide. You wouldn't want someone to criticize you for something you did, why would you do it to others?

Just my 2cents

[Guest <3StrawberryPocky<3]

I think labeling the loss of virginity as a shame or pride connotes too many things with it, and disregards a lot of dependent factors. Some lose their virginity through unfortunate circumstances, bad decisions made, or simply the decision to share it with someone they loved at the time. Losing virginity in your teen years in itself is not a shame. It's the basis for which you decided to lose your virginity that you should feel shame given it's a terrible reason such as, "I was drunk."

[fervor]

Virginity and sex, in general, is way too complicated an issue to answer this question so simply.

At the core, sex is simply a basic natural function, much like eating. But society, media, religion, etc...so many different aspects of human life influence how we view sex and virginity. As a result, people have wildly varying opinions on the subject. Many people (especially teens) are confused by the bombardment of different opinions from all sides.

As for me, I'd prefer not to attribute shame or pride to losing your virginity. I think for a healthy attitude about sex, neither feeling is appropriate.

[Guest princessberry]

totally nothing to be proud of i'm turning 20, and i still have mine. 

But hey losing it at such a young age? You have not even 'grow' thoroughly, and you have already lost it :/ And what if you got aids or even you got pregnant?! :S

[Guest [Deleted User]]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

[Guest ddcee]

I think of it as a shame.. I mean that's just solely my opinion.

Heard one of my friends lost it and she's 16.. I mean that's great if you're in love but.. seriously .__. long way to go 

[bORicha.]

I don't think losing your virginity in itself is a shameful thing by any means. I mean our bodies are actually at their prime for sex in the early teens i believe? Sex is completely natural but for some reason we condemn it (particularly the religious do). I think it's a beautiful thing that two people who like/love each other can share. The problem lies with lack of consent-- like losing your virginity when you don't want to/aren't ready to.

[Guest SUMM3RxBABii]

I would say it's a shame because most of these teen relationships only last for months or even weeks. People in high school get desperate all the time and I've seen too many friends with relationships that don't even last 6 months. People should wait until they get older and know if they really trust that person enough. I'm not saying that it's shameful to lose it but there's timing for everything

[Guest Courtknee]

Neither? You shouldn't feel shameful if you lose your virginity. You shouldn't be proud either. Its a matter of your own choice.

No one should boast their non-virginity. You shouldn't feel guilty for losing it.

[Guest AdelynnLEE]

Well it is a shame for me,I must save it for my future husband

[Guest tinatran_]

It isn't a shame, but it isn't something you should be prideful about either. As long as you do it with someone you love and trust, and not sleep around with a bunch of other people, what's there to be ashamed about?

[Guest Arodwen]

SHAMMEEE. Save it for your marriage

While it is shameful to lose it as an irresponsible teenager AND also as an irresponsible adult, it's dumb to wait until marriage. For anybody, their virginity is one of the most precious things they can give away to someone. Give it to someone worthy of it, someone you love and respect and someone who loves and respects you back. Just because some person married you doesn't mean they love and respect you as a significant other. Arranged marriages between two people who mutually dislike each other isn't extinct, you know.

its totally a shame. from what i know, all religions forbid adultery . so if you say pride, means you have against your own religion

Not everyone is religious or even affiliated with a religion.

[cassiopeia1001]

Though I really do think that the choice should be up to the teenager himself, I feel that the current social mentality is leaning towards the ... bad side. I hate labelling everything and anything as bad or wrong, because so long as we've existed, kids have done it, and kids will do it. However, I don't think that the "having sex just to say I did it" mentality is healthy.

Oh and in addition, for those who are interested in the whole virginity debate, I recommend The Purity Myth by Jessica Valenti. Informative read.

[Guest .autumn.]

^^ My sentiments exactly.