ever been molested and can't tell anyone?

[Guest mars*]

for those who are saying "you have to be courageous and do something when it happens", it's easy to say that you have to retaliate when it happens and fight it off..but in fact it's not. i'm always thinking, when it happens, i'll definitely kick the person in the groin or yell or do something but i didn't when it happened to me..

mine isn't as horrible as a lot of the things here..but it was still someone like..touching me. about a month and a half ago..i standing at this busy intersection..the place where the cars come out of the Manhattan bridge, so i was waiting for the light to change. this guy with a puffy jacket with the hood on, and dorky glasses (like napoleon dynamite or w/e o_o)..like late 30's or 40yo, i couldn't tell.. came up to me, said hi, and stuck his hand out for me to shake. i didn't shake it and i just sort of smiled and walked a couple of steps to the right becos i thought he was a tourist maybe about to ask for directions. instead, he moved closer to me, and then started touching my back and waist, so i was like WTF in my head..then i moved farther away, but he followed me and he started patting my head and touching it, and touched my waist again. there was quite a few people around me waiting for the light, i don't know why i didn't do anything. my head was screaming at me to curse him out or say something really loud, and take a pic of him with my cell phone, but my mind was just frozen. i feel angry now, that i didn't do anything. but it wasn't something i could help..because when it actually happens, you react differently.

i told my friend what happened, and she described to me this time a guy was trying to touch and hug her on the train last summer..her description of the guy was almost exactly like the one i encountered..so we were sort of creeped out, like what if it's the same guy.

but anyway..GRR..still angry that i couldn't bring myself to move myself or say anything.

[baoi]

woah... that's freaky... sorry you had to go through that...

[Guest ilovebigbangx3]

i dont know if it'd be molesting

but my ex-bf, who's a total jerk

kept on trying to get down my pants & go up my shirt, but me being me told him to fxck off & bxtch-slapped him

to this day, it's hard trusting guys, because i told him to stop and physically hit him

what do you guys not understand about the word, "NO"

[Guest `amyx3.]

I'm truely sorry for all those who've had these awful experiences, and I've had one myself.

I remember one time when I was probably 14 or 15, I was at a crowded bus, going to my friend's house. It was right after school so there were a lot of people on it. Suddenly I felt something really weird on my richard simmons so I turned around and looked. It was the hand of this senior that everyone had a crush on. He grabbed my richard simmons! So I said WTF and grilled his richard simmons down. He turned around ashamed and everyone on the bus was looking at him. He got off the next stop, and my girlfriends asked me what happened. When I told them what had happened they just said I was thinking too much. The next day, people at the school was like "Yoo, I heard you think ----- touched you and mini cooper. So you think you're hotstuff now? Stop making up stories fool." I was shocked but that very day, I went up to the senior and smacked him afterschool, when the yard was full of students. I skipped school for the following month to avoid his richard simmons and his friends. But I'm glad I've at least slapped him in front of the crowd because if I hadn't he would still think he's a bigshot because so many people like him. Psh, I ain't need no hello kitty like him. I got the real stuff here, you can see it but you can't squeeze it!

[Guest soomin]

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[Guest mdang-lu]

Can you still press charges even after you turn 18? How long do you have to press charges is my main question.

[Guest Jennibeans]

i was severely molested when i was little for consectutive years but there are reasons why i dont tell my parents

. i have told my boyfriend (for certain reasons) and he, like you, has been convincing me to tell them. its easier to tell people who are not as close to you as your parents are.

"advice to all these people--" as you started off with before you gave your random speel and profanity. (have you even ever been molested or raped? my assumption is no, but i may be wrong but my argument still stands)

. true, you can prevent it from helping others and true, you can serve teh justice that he/she deserves -- yet, sometimes people who have never been molested make comments like "why is it so hard to tell.. its going to blahblahblah."

"if you can tell me, you can tell someone else." people like you underestimate how much strength and courage it takes to do something like that -- and even more strength and courage to get through something lke that.

"they migth pity you for a while..." but not in every case, will parents have the power to heal someone mentally, its a personal obstacle -- and frankly,

just because someone is in jail will not heal the scars ... you make it seem so easy. every molestation and every rape is a case of its own - you can't generalize the fact that, just by telling someone your problems will be solved.

honestly, i feel that the scars left behind are more of a problem than the truth being left behind. i feel traumatized enough that i have been through what ive been through (though i dotn wanan share it here on soompi) -

its been years since its happened and i feel that accepting and moving on from the past is a better way to heal from such events than to tell my parents where it would hurt them emotionally as wel

l. i dont feel that i want to make my parents feel this way - "i just want everyone to be happy" and if im happy with the way i am now, and my parents are too - eventhough he may not deserve to feel the same way - you live and learn.

yeah i have been molested and i told a close friend about it and we had an argument about it about telling someone rah rah rah but he wouldnt understand.its HARD. its but that paragraph was EXACTLY how i felt put into words. but im still waiting for the day where i can tell someone WHAT happend even if its on the internet, at least its somewhere >.< and if people DID make up some stories on this thread your a sad person and i pity you so much ..

[Guest ~koe*no*sainou~]

Contrary to the popular belief, there are some little perverted boys who grow up to be okay x.x

My story isn't bad at all...but I'll share it anyway.

My cousin was 11...and I was like...7-8? I think this was purely just curiosity since he was young...well he took me into the bathroom and pulled down his pants o.o Then he jerked off...so I was like o.o...

Him: Touch my penis!

Me: Nooo >.<;;;;

Him: Touch it or I'll tell my mommy on you! *This is stupid, I don't get it either*

Me: Fine!>.< *poke poke*

Him: Not like that! Like this *Jerks on hsi penis*

Me: .___.

Him: Fine show me your lion king

Me: Nooo >.<

Him: Do it!

Me: Fine! *Pulls down my pants a little*

Him: That's it?

Me: Yeah...?

Him: It looks nothing like mine o.O *Leaves the bathroom*

Lol xD...It's been like 8 years since then...he's the sweetest person ever. He's seriously reeeally reeally nice now...so yeah. I guess when you're younger...it's more of curiosity than anything?

BTW guys: TEACH YOUR KIDS MARTIAL ARTS WHILE THEY'RE STILL YOUNG! You won't regret it.

[Guest krnzfinest]

My girlfriend, let's call her Snapple, told me she was molested by some guys in her freshman year of high school. She wasn't my girlfriend at the time since I met her in college but holy ddong it got me pissed. Her best friend was with her and didn't do anything about it, which also got me angry. And she's still friends with the guyS that did it. Why? IDK! ROAR. I know it's in the past and she tells me to get over it, but i can't...

[Guest xXSJloveXx]

wow

all these stories are just so heart broken :[

i consider myself lucky not to have to go through any of that

but i have a younger sis, and thank god i've always been very protective of her.

and very so more from now on.

[Guest lildinmui]

THESE STORIES ARE SO SAD. i sat here this arvo & ive read all of them! so scary omg T____T" i hope it never happens2me! but this farking old man groped my richard simmons when i was@darling harbour getting a spot to watch 9o'clock fire wrks for nye in 2006 =O='' farking bubble gum. &once when i was small the phone rang so i picked it up&it was this guy asking me odd questions like what color my undies were O__O" then hes like look outside your window (kos my blinds were open and the phone was opposite it) and i saw this man outside on the phone.. hes like yup thats me~ now take your pants off. LIKE WTF scared the mini cooper out of me.. i hung up&ran to my dad >O<"" farking pervents. ^#(%&@^%

But guess im so much more fortunate then you guys!! i feel so bad &sorry for you guys

[Guest Star*Eun Ji]

^

OMG THAT WUD JUS SCARE THE CRAP OUTTA ME.. i would of slammd da fone n freak out or go cry sumwhur..thats jus realli scarry.. omgg....

the stories here are pretty bad ._.

sorry to hear it..

i myself.. i dont realli remember if i did got molested or anything.. hmm

there was a few but i dnt remem..

but like 2 yrs ago .. i was meeting a friend at a park n stuff.. i thought i'd be jus hanging with him but it turnd out he had rugby practise soon so his friends was also there.. i was jus talkin to my frnd n his friends were shouting out comments saying 'wanna suck me off. i'll pay u' n jus rude sexual comments. i was like ._. trying to ignore .. pretty freaked out.

umm jus a month ago.. was lining up to go to sum rave party.. it was like nite tym so yeh.. it was alot of pplz n dere was diz drunk teenage guy behind me.. REALLI CLOSE..his mouth was breathing on my neck n leaning on me --'' i coud smell alcohol from his breath.. ughh..

[Guest peachesncre4ms]

for those who are saying "you have to be courageous and do something when it happens", it's easy to say that you have to retaliate when it happens and fight it off..but in fact it's not. i'm always thinking, when it happens, i'll definitely kick the person in the groin or yell or do something but i didn't when it happened to me..

mine isn't as horrible as a lot of the things here..but it was still someone like..touching me. about a month and a half ago..i standing at this busy intersection..the place where the cars come out of the Manhattan bridge, so i was waiting for the light to change. this guy with a puffy jacket with the hood on, and dorky glasses (like napoleon dynamite or w/e o_o)..like late 30's or 40yo, i couldn't tell.. came up to me, said hi, and stuck his hand out for me to shake. i didn't shake it and i just sort of smiled and walked a couple of steps to the right becos i thought he was a tourist maybe about to ask for directions. instead, he moved closer to me, and then started touching my back and waist, so i was like WTF in my head..then i moved farther away, but he followed me and he started patting my head and touching it, and touched my waist again. there was quite a few people around me waiting for the light, i don't know why i didn't do anything. my head was screaming at me to curse him out or say something really loud, and take a pic of him with my cell phone, but my mind was just frozen. i feel angry now, that i didn't do anything. but it wasn't something i could help..because when it actually happens, you react differently.

i told my friend what happened, and she described to me this time a guy was trying to touch and hug her on the train last summer..her description of the guy was almost exactly like the one i encountered..so we were sort of creeped out, like what if it's the same guy.

but anyway..GRR..still angry that i couldn't bring myself to move myself or say anything.

so true. its easy to say but hard to do.

i had an incident like that on the bus too. this guy pretended to be blind (w/ the black sunglasses & a cane) and he was trying to find seats on the bus. i was wondering why he didnt take any seats in the front (for disabled ppl) and sat next to me. then he started to feel his hand up my thigh... and i got irritated & moved closer to corner near the window... (cuz the two seats, i was sitting inside and he was outside.. then HE STARTED DOING IT AGAIN... and i just didn't know what to do. i was SCARED!!! so then i got up, said EXCUSE ME in a very soft voice, cuz i was scared... and just went to find another seat

[chocomocha]

I would never thought this happens in Asian culture! Im so surprise!! This is universal! Im so sorry to everyone who been molested! n i been molested before! so i know how it feels..

[Guest f_r_E_a_K]

It must be sooo difficult to get the momentum to do something (preferably physical if not just verbal, like punching, shoving, kicking..etc) when this happens!

But does anybody have any women's self-defense tips? Not to leave out the guys that get molested, but it's more of a problem for women when this happens. Like ...the groin is always a good place to target and destroy (HAHA I WILL MAKE YOU USELESS), but any others? Like ...I've heard of the place on your inner upper arm (think biceps area). If you pinch that area (only need a little bit of skin, it usually hurts more), it hurts SO BADLY ................same goes for the skin underneath your knee (meaning the opposite side of your knee, which faces up).

[Guest xTwilight]

Like ...the groin is always a good place to target and destroy (HAHA I WILL MAKE YOU USELESS)

Reality check plz. Groin kicking doesn't work. You're not in school where you take turns kicking a stupid plastic mannequin that leaves himself wide open and then giggling with all your other girlfriends.

Seriously, unless he's going to wait for you to kick him, you'll already be on the ground screaming and fighting for your life. In futile.

Think plz, a guy doesn't come up to you and go "I'm going to assault you". Most likely he'll attack from behind, or even on top (some prefer to nail their prey from higher elevation) by surprise, and unless you have god-like reflexes, he's probably already grabbed you. Anyone that says "just kick them in the groin and run away" probably has only encountered two types of guys:

-wimps

-instructors

This is why women can't defend themselves: they think useless techniques make a difference. You're not kicking a doll you know. Men know their weaknesses and most likely know how to prevent you from landing a direct hit.

I've heard of the place on your inner upper arm (think biceps area).

Yes, they're called pressure points. The bigger they are, more damage is inflicted to their oh-so-powerful tank of a body. There are numerous pressure points all over, but it takes practice to get it just like that; not something you can learn from watching old chinese action movies where everyone flies around and shoots air all over the place and paralyzes you just by touching you, then imitating it on your little bro to see how much you've improved your "skillz".

But does anybody have any women's self-defense tips?

Carry some sort of weapon with you. Might make a little difference, cause the guy might not take you completely by surprise. The two common items of interest when it comes to women are:

-the brick. It's really their wallet, but what's the difference?

-the purse. With all that crap you put in there, it'd be a wonder if a guy can survive a blow to the head from that thing.

An umbrella or parasol or whatever you like to call it is nice as well. The extra length and mobility would definitely make it harder for someone with a knife or some other short-ranged weapon. Plus it acts as mobile shade as well when the sun's too bright. Or if you prefer, you can run around with a stick like they do in soul calibur 2.

The one that usually wins, is the one that's anticipated the moves.

If he's already on top of you, might as well call it quits cause you're most likely going to be overpowered and unable to reach for whatever you have stuffed in your pockets or bra (unless you're an amazon).

Or even better: Take kendo lessons. Proper conditioning through training is the only way to fix the problem. Yes, when someone decides to bearhug you, if you don't have the experience, you'll probably just freeze up and scream instead of pull your gun out and point it at his head.

Relying on retarded advice like "just kick him in the nuts ^^" will only lead you to despair.

PS: want use mace? Well, you need free hands don't you? And you need time to reach for it right? Better hope the guy isn't thinking clearly and letting you grab it while you're on the ground.

Obviously the two biggest fails in this so-called "women's self-defense" are groin-kicking and mace. Unless by mace, you mean literally swinging a mace around, then it would be deadly. Most of you probably aren't the types that can beat someone twice your size and 4 times your weight down, WHILE struggling against HIS strength in poor positions.

Or hold a mace.

You know, something like this

[Guest milkbunny]

I feel like crying after I confessed this to soompi..ok...when I was nine or eight...I was

raped

(by my far blooded cousin)..I kept the secret from everyone until last years when I was 17 yrs old.....I told my mom....until today my mom still accused me of seducing him....im still very hurt...when she says its my fault, and I want to get the person in jail for everything they did.....I felt like i wanted to commit suicide everytime i think abt it

for those who say its easy to tell...no it isnt....because u will always be reminded and ppl will think its ur fault

[Guest marvinoppa]

i touch myself sometimes...does that count?

[Guest c1nderella]

Omgoshh..

I really feel so bad ..

but i'm proud of all of you guys who are still strong!!

Jsst keep being strong ! We all love you guys :]

[rolynda]

When I was 8, i remember waking up and having my cousin standing over me and my sister, just watching us sleep. he used to tell us that my parents told him to take care of us (he lived in front of us) but my sister was the baby-sitter, so...it was creepy. He used to take my sister and me into my moms room and make us do things with him. i was always terrified of him.

there was this one incident that my mom asked me to get something from my aunt (his mom) and when i went over, he was the only one home and he told me that it was in his room. i was like "why is it in there?" but i was naive, and i went in anyway, he pushed me on the bed and locked the door and tried to rape me. i was scared, but i fought him off and kicked him in the face and ran out the door. mind you, he's like 5 years older than me. and he's my COUSIN.

after that, i was really uncomfortable with family get-togethers with my dads side of the family, because i knew he would be there. this kind of stuff happened until i was about 12. =[ i dont think i've talked to him since then. but i never told anyone, my sister and i used to talk about it, but we were too scared to tell our parents.

when i was 15, i finally had the courage to tell my mom. i sat there crying and i told her everything, and she was sympathetic, but she just told me that i should have said something earlier. she was right. if i had spoken up, maybe all of that could've been stopped alot sooner.

he has 4 kids now and his wife is due with the 5th this month, i try not to think about it, but everytime i see his daughter, i wonder if he's tried to do anything with her, because she doesnt like sleeping at home, she lives with her grandparents (my aunt and uncle).

my advice to everyone posting on this forum, is to try to come to terms with it and attempt to put it in your past. this experience only helped to make us all that much stronger and be the people we are now. and i agree, pedophiles are the scum of the earth, and i would like to believe that each will get his own punishment when the time comes. no crime goes without punishment.