Caught In The Middle...

[coolazers14]

...of cheating parents [long story]

To start off, I'm new here so I'm not really sure if I’m placing this in the right place.

My parents recently got annulled, and I’m still unclear of the reason why.

It started around 2006. I’ve heard from my dad’s side that my mom cheated, and I’ve heard from my mom’s side that my dad cheated. I know people do that because they’re against each other so I just stay silent. And then it starts to get worse, they say my dad’s got a baby, they say my mom was in a car with some guy and caught by a traffic police on some kind of position, I have no idea what. All of those things are driving me crazy! And well, years passed and I’ve learned to accept that they’re really breaking up, nothing will ever make them go back together again, and I still don’t believe that they’re both cheating, until this year, things just unfolded.

I borrowed my mom’s hand phone so I could text my friend since I have no load. I then accidentally went to her inbox and saw many SMS from a guy, whose name was registered as “xxx baby”. I never really read the messages because I know that’s ruining my mom’s privacy, so I let them be~

Then there was a time, we were with our dad, and it was like, 1:30 am, and for a computer addict, I’d still be up and surf the net. The phone kept ringing once, just once, and it got me irritated. It rang again but this time, I was able to answer it so here’s the conversation we had, it’s a short one, but definitely memorable...

Me: Hello

???: May I speak to XXX(dad’s name)?

Me: Who’s this?

???: a friend

I then went to my dad and told him someone looked for him. I know, it was stupid for me not to ask who that girl is, and now I regret not talking back. But at that time, I was curious, because my dad’s a doctor, so whoever calls him at that time should call him Dr.XXX or something respectful, but no, she just said his name casually, so this made me wonder more, who the heck calls my dad at 1:30am without any emergency?!

Anyway, I still haven’t told anyone about my phone conversation yet, only my young brother (who’s like 10, but promises that he won’t say anything)

Now here’s where I get help.

I know it’s more obvious that my dad’s cheating, but I just would like to clarify things. I don’t want to believe hearsays and rumours, but I’m afraid to ask the truth either, because for me, it’s like, so not right to go up to your parent and ask. If you’d been in this kind of situation, whether you’ve cheated or been cheated, I would appreciate you help. I originally blamed myself for their annulment since my mom was pregnant when they got married, but my guidance councillor said not to blame myself, it’s not my problem.

Any advice you’d like to give to me?

I think I’m currently in a tough situation here and it might affect my life.

Hoping to get good advice from you guys to help me feel better!^^

Thanks for reading my long problem~

-ERU

[Guest AHLEENA]

You aren't in the middle, hun.

Don't involve yourself.

"Annulment is a legal procedure for declaring a marriage null and void. Unlike divorce, it is retroactive: an annulled marriage is considered never to have existed."

Your dad and mom can now date anyone they want...

EDIT: really, don't involve yourself in your parents' ex-relationship. why they broke up is their business, especially if it seems to have dragged on for 3 years... man, I can't believe they lasted 3 years of problems. remember~ curiosity killed the cat. :[

[Guest Kouta]

You aren't in the middle, hun.

Don't involve yourself.

"Annulment is a legal procedure for declaring a marriage null and void. Unlike divorce, it is retroactive: an annulled marriage is considered never to have existed."

Your dad and mom can now date anyone they want...

EDIT: really, don't involve yourself in your parents' ex-relationship. why they broke up is their business, especially if it seems to have dragged on for 3 years... man, I can't believe they lasted 3 years of problems. remember~ curiosity killed the cat. :[

I agree with you, but coming from a child's perspective he/she would want to have a stable family with caring parents. So imo, coolazers14 feels insecure and sad that being a child of her two parents, she can't experience the real parental love.

It's a sad world, but you need to tough it out and just enjoy life and accomplish something you want to do/be. Also, no matter what they'll still be your parents, so just continue to love them the way you did before =]

[Guest [Deleted User]]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

[Guest mstar]

My parents are in the process of getting divorced. My advice is just to stay out of it-- as much as it sucks. My dad beat, my mom cheat (I RHYME FOO!). Whatever. Then again, I was always distant from my parents.

[Guest AliceAristocrat]

It's not your fault.....it was never your fault. Don't say it is.

Try to stay away from all that madness as you possibly can.

There are somethings that you should just let your parents deal with.

Some parents just can't be with each other (no matter how much u want them to)

Hope you get through all this.....happily

My parents are going through a divorce....or technically a will-be divorce.

My mom can't stand my dad and my dad's being a jerk.....they can't live with each other.....they're just too different

and I understand my mom.....she gave up her life to be married to someone 27 years her senior

she quit her job even though she had an awesome job......and he stills says he picked her up off the streets.

so she doesn't want a divorce because if she divorced him she doesn't get his benefits and then she would have wasted her life for someone who tricked her, who she never loved and all that.

Anyway......just give it time.....everything will get better ^0^

[kerpao]

start working, save up money and move out.

[coolazers14]

^I thought of doing that once

You aren't in the middle, hun.

Don't involve yourself.

"Annulment is a legal procedure for declaring a marriage null and void. Unlike divorce, it is retroactive: an annulled marriage is considered never to have existed."

Your dad and mom can now date anyone they want...

EDIT: really, don't involve yourself in your parents' ex-relationship. why they broke up is their business, especially if it seems to have dragged on for 3 years... man, I can't believe they lasted 3 years of problems. remember~ curiosity killed the cat. :[

Actually, those things happened before the decision if they would get annulled.

and the reason of the annulment was because one of my parents cheated, IDK who...

lolz, does that change anything?

and thanks to everyone who responded~

[Guest hahaorange]

Man, I'm glad my parents are divorced. I used to be exactly where you are. I went crazy with depression that I went completely a-wall and suicidal and stuff. It sucked, man. It sucked. Esp., 'cause they both blamed each other for cheating.

And I knew both were true esp., 'cause I've seen it with my eyes. I've met them all too but only from my mom. My dad always did his best to hide but my brother and I caught up pretty quick. Hidden phone calls, lovely text messages, death threats to my mother, my brother and I.

Honestly, I think you should talk to them. But firstly, it depends on whether you want to hear it, whether you're ready for it. Of course, you're scared. But you know, it's better hearing it from them and knowing now then later.

What happened with me was that I didn't bother questioning my mom but I did get mad at her because I kept seeing the stupid guy everywhere we went so I kept telling my mom off but never really asked her about the issue. At one point, I caught them in the act and I don't know - I was just really angry that my mom wasn't willing to even spill the truth much less that I had to find out on my own and while I wasn't even prepared.

The impact's more powerful when you're not ready and believe me, it'll catch you off-guard if you don't bring it up.

It's natural to blame yourself. Believe me, it isn't. The problem doesn't involve you so much. It's really their problem.

What your problem is; it's how you feel about the situation and how you want to express that to your parents. And it's important to your parents about, you know, your own thoughts and opinions. They're your parents, they should respect what you feel and what you say.

So it's alright to really bring it up. Don't start with a question. Start with a statement.

If they don't want to talk about it, drop it. At least you tried.

But just ask yourself; do you wanna know or not?

[Guest itzzanna]

That happened to me too. I just stayed out of it and let them work it out.