If your BF/GF cheated on you..

What would you do?

Kick them to the curb? Forgive them? Give them one more chance?

Let's say you guys have been together for 2+ years, met eachother's families, discussing marriage

I'd give them the boot. No matter how much I might want to give them another chance in the back of my mind, I know for myself that is not something I could get over. If I spent my life with them I'd be paranoid about their motives, thoughts, and whereabouts all the time. I understand people make mistakes, and maybe in a certain situation I'd be willing to work it out. Right now I can't really imagine what that situation might entail. So in general, better to just move on and find someone who won't do that to you, and they can move on to find someone they won't feel inclined to cheat on.

Pretend i forgave them, have makeup sex. Then dump her for another girl and make her feel bad for cheating on me.

It depends. Are we talking different area codes? If you see eachother often then it sucks to be cheated on. If you are far away then its to be expected. By both sides.

If my trust is broken, it can't be fixed, I'd give them the boot and tell them if they liked someone else, they should have told me earlier, it would have saved us both time and the hassle.

Hypothetically speaking, the fact that he cheated on me, I don't care how long of a relationship we have been in, I'll kick him to the curb. First and foremost, he disrespected me and I did not cross his mind when he cheated on me therefore, it's over and no second chances.

Trust is really important in a relationship, so it'd be over between us

I never realised how hard it was to end it when you're actually put in the situation. Before this, I was all like 'I'll kick his cheating richard simmons to the curb!' *pumps fist in air* but when it happened it was alot more complicated bc deep emotions were involved and it was hard to say goodbye.

But at the end of the day, it's always necessary to break it off with sb who cheats. Even if you were engaged or about to be married in the next week, I would break up bc no trust = no future. Cheating is an integrity, selfishness, insecurity thing. I'm not going to stand around bc people like that hardly ever change. It's their character.

I never realised how hard it was to end it when you're actually put in the situation. Before this, I was all like 'I'll kick his cheating richard simmons to the curb!' *pumps fist in air* but when it happened it was alot more complicated bc deep emotions were involved and it was hard to say goodbye.

But at the end of the day, it's always necessary to break it off with sb who cheats. Even if you were engaged or about to be married in the next week, I would break up bc no trust = no future. Cheating is an integrity, selfishness, insecurity thing. I'm not going to stand around bc people like that hardly ever change. It's their character.

Would you have felt differently if they were under the influence of alcohol/substances?

Otherwise, I pretty much agree...

I don't think I'd continue a relationship, not because I'd be paranoid, but because I can't accept that someone who is meant to care about me, went ahead to do something that they knew would be extremely detrimental to the relationship. I used to hold the same view even if they were drinking/taking substances, reasoning that a person shouldn't become so intoxicated to the extent that they lose their sense of self and end up cheating. That is, until I witness one of my close friends end up in such a scenario, where I'm now more inclined to chalk it down to bad decision making.

There are people out there who say people make mistakes.

Yeah sure, they make mistakes. But this isn't one mistake that should be treated lightly.

I always thought that even when you're drunk, you can still choose to not cheat. I mean heck, not every drunk person cheats. I think it's such a cop out. Your inhibition is lowered, but it doesn't cause you to do things you wouldn't normally do. I don't care how someone came about cheating, I just won't tolerate it anymore. Especially when you see people supposedly mad drunk yet still having the ability to get a condom on and get hard? I thought usually guys find it hard to stay hard when they're really intoxicated?

I read this great quote that I think sums it up perfectly

"When you start rationalising and accepting a cheater's excuses, you essentially start playing a game of "how low can you go"

Don't be that person lol.

If I were in that situation, I hope I would dump the bf once I get the evidence of him cheating. I don't think it matters whether or not he's under the influence of alcohol/drugs because in the end, he cheated. After realizing he cheated, he might continue the affair and I want to save myself from the pain/pity. I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who can no longer love me or someone who can't decide who he wants to be serious with. I also don't want to end up being the girl he has to continue going out with b/c he feels guilty for cheating on her. I don't need that kind of relationship

in reality, though, I probably would have a hard time dumping the bf because I'm sure somewhere in my mind I would be hoping that "oh this'll only happen once and I'm still his true love" or some crap like that. or being the sneaky one, I might pretend to not know of his affairs and plan a revenge on him lol.

Before jumping to conclusions, I would hear them out first. And then depending on whether or not I think they are lying or not, I would either stay and apologize for misunderstanding (ONLY if it was ACTUALLY a misunderstanding), or break up, if they DID cheat.

No matter what excuses (drugs, drinking, tired, forced ... etc) I wouldn't listen to crap like that, even if I really really liked the guy. If I know for sure a guy cheated on me, I would break up with him, because after that trust is broken, I'm not sure why I would stay.

However, this is within the context of boyfriend/girlfriend type relationship. If I was married and had kids, it would be a little different. I'm not saying I would stay with a cheater, but I would probably give more than one chance (ONLY if they were willing to change), because of the nature of the relationship at that point.

I always thought that even when you're drunk, you can still choose to not cheat. I mean heck, not every drunk person cheats. I think it's such a cop out. Your inhibition is lowered, but it doesn't cause you to do things you wouldn't normally do. I don't care how someone came about cheating, I just won't tolerate it anymore. Especially when you see people supposedly mad drunk yet still having the ability to get a condom on and get hard? I thought usually guys find it hard to stay hard when they're really intoxicated?

I read this great quote that I think sums it up perfectly

"When you start rationalising and accepting a cheater's excuses, you essentially start playing a game of "how low can you go"

Don't be that person lol.

That's a pretty good point. Hmm... Going have to rethink my views a little here.

Part of me feels that when it comes to drunken cheating, there's several different scenarios. Then again I could be just rationalizing like you said for my friends behaviour. >___<!

For example, those who are in an emotionally vulnerable situation (e.g. lots of arguments recently within the relationship) are definitely placing themselves in a bad position if they decide to drink. Ironically, people are more likely to substance abuse when things are going bad for them... Then there are those who are just straight out cheating based >_<

Cheating while drunk is never, ever an excuse in my book. If anything, that will get me more mad. "Oh, what a convenient scapegoat for you, honey! Of course we can work it out!"

No.

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I would not forgive him. I just would not be able to let go of it, ever.

I would kick him to the curb, but first beat him up XD. kidding. I would just leave. Can be friends but...eh. Wouldn't wanna deal with a cheater.

Would depend on how I felt about it at the time, really.

I've been cheated on before but I don't recall usually being too upset about it. I don't know if that means I didn't care about the guys or I didn't care about the cheating. I can't say it would be an absolute deal breaker regardless of circumstances.

I don't believe in "cheat once and you're always a cheater," so I can't say that I wouldn't be forgiving of certain transgressions. Maybe it's because I don't place a heavy emphasis on physical monogamy. I'd be more upset about being lied to than I would about my partner sleeping with someone else or something like that.

I definitely don't believe in "once a cheater always a cheater" either. What I do believe, though, is that if you cheat on someone, you weren't meant to be with them in the first place, at least not for now. And "meant to be" sounds so wishy washy and spiritual, and I don't mean it that way, but it's the only way I can think of to phrase it. I feel like if someone cheats on someone else, they can't have been that in love with them first person in the first place, or else they fell out of love. Maybe those two in the future could get back together. However, I definitely do find physical monogamy to be very important, and I'm at a stage in life where I want the people I date to at least be a possible person I could spend my life with, so that's why.

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Break up immediately. Once the trust is gone, there's nothing. Especially at my age (teen/20s) there's no serious commitment and it's easy to be single when you're young and have lots of friends, so why would you stay in the relationship? I couldn't stay in a relationship where my parter cheated. It just shows a lack of respect for me, and I wouldn't be able to trust them anymore.