Ask The Fellas

[Guest fredinsac]

[ okay , so this guy is really quiet but somewhat only outgoing with his guy friends . ]

if the guy received a holiday gram , but doesn't know who its from ,

what would his reaction probably be ?

would he usually throw it away or give it to someone else ?

anyways , thanks !

His initial reaction would be confusion.

As for him throwing it away, it depends on whats on the card. If it says something like "I like you. Let's meet up sometime" he might keep it. If it's only got the tacky pre-typed words inside then that's an auto-toss.

Hm, I never thought I'd post here... and I guess I'm gonna give it a try.

I have this "friend" I met last year. We flirted and all that good stuff. He actually went and made the effort to talk to me quite a bit early in our friendship. He'd always invite me places, but I'd never actually go because one: we never made the plans officially and two: I had no way of getting there. In May, I told him that I liked him. He was laughing it off and said that he likes me too, but as a friend (this was after calling me a loser, but we call each other that frequently, so...). He went off to California for vacation and we didn't talk that much after that. Before he left, he said he wanted to go see a movie, but again, we never got to it because when I tried to plan things out, he wasn't very... cooperative?

He comes back from California and all of a sudden he's IMing me on Facebook, commenting me on things online, IMing me on MSN, etc. I'm like whoa, what the heck?

About a month or so ago, he asked to hang out. We were going to go see Sorority Row or whatever. We both put time into planning this out, even if it was about a day before the hang out day, hah. The next morning, he tells me he's sick and that he can't go, that we'll hang out next week. But I was so irritated with him that I didn't bother.

Basically, I didn't talk to him for quite a while. But then last week, he comments me on Facebook asking me what's up, etc, asking me for my number again since he got a new phone and that we lost contact and he wants it again. I'm like, what the hell dude? So we talked again. Just a little bit 'cause I was bored and had nobody to talk to. I figured he'd pass my time a little bit before I went to bed, haha. He even IMed me on MSN. I deleted him off my list a long time ago. I had no idea he still kept me on.

On Sunday, I texted him out of boredom. He stops replying after a few. Then a couple hours later, I get a text from him asking me what I'm doing. Then he brings up this really corny line of, "Your gift for Christmas is one night with me." I was all, "lol wut?" as my reply. He said we should go do something on Christmas. All I can think is how weird he's being. He does this over and over and a high percentage of me is so set on knowing that he won't go through with it, but I said "ok" because nobody wants to hang out with me and he's the first person that has asked in a while. So, apparently, we're going to a movie on Christmas. ... Apparently.

I'm just about positive he's trying to push my buttons, I know this, but... WHY?

I think I got dizzy just by writing this whole thing out, haha. It makes me sooo confused.

You say he's pushing your buttons and you get all flustered when he contacts you again but you still engage in conversation. You also keep saying yes to him so I don't know why you're upset for. Next time he asks you to hang out just say no if you think he's gonna flake again. And seriously, what kind of guy plans a movie date AN ENTIRE MONTH ahead!!!

[Guest SanctumSolace]

comment removed

[Guest charrex]

What's a guy's greatest turn on?

YES this is in a sexual manner, but you know, keep it 14A and not explain the whole ordeal of how to give a BJ LOL.

Examples like phone sex, costume lingerie? Cooking topless (my friends think this is totally hot!)? Watching porn with him? YES I'm curious because everyone has different answers!

Oh, and stockings. Nice heels or flats too.

+1

[Guest .:dark.moon:.]

Hmm, just curious... would a guy ever send mixed signals on purpose? o_o er... if he would..... why? Cuz this guy I like -also a semi close guy friend- always sends mixed signals and it's kinda making me mad Lol, and it confuses me a lot too..... thanks~

[Guest fredinsac]

Hmm, just curious... would a guy ever send mixed signals on purpose? o_o er... if he would..... why? Cuz this guy I like -also a semi close guy friend- always sends mixed signals and it's kinda making me mad Lol, and it confuses me a lot too..... thanks~

He could be but I would think that that's pretty hard to do. It's not that he's sending mixed signals, it's that you're interpreting them as mixed signals. Bottom line, if you really want to know you should ask him yourself as opposed to wondering what he's thinking.

[MrPower]

Yeah I'm probably just over thinking this.. alright, thanks for your help!

np

LOL IT'S OKAY. My friend loves a women in trousers with a nice dress shirt. He thinks it's the most hottest thing, and personally I think it's pretty nice too.

that's not abnormal at all... lol

[ okay , so this guy is really quiet but somewhat only outgoing with his guy friends . ]

if the guy received a holiday gram , but doesn't know who its from ,

what would his reaction probably be ?

would he usually throw it away or give it to someone else ?

anyways , thanks !

i duno what a holiday gram is. the first thing that popped in my head were gram crackers and a telegram...

I presume it's the latter? well then, I'm pretty sure he'll be either confused or flattered if he received such a letter

Hm, I never thought I'd post here... and I guess I'm gonna give it a try.

I have this "friend" I met last year. We flirted and all that good stuff. He actually went and made the effort to talk to me quite a bit early in our friendship. He'd always invite me places, but I'd never actually go because one: we never made the plans officially and two: I had no way of getting there. In May, I told him that I liked him.

I'm just about positive he's trying to push my buttons, I know this, but... WHY?

I think I got dizzy just by writing this whole thing out, haha. It makes me sooo confused.

edit: I realized why I bolded/edited this post

Relationships come with a power struggle... Conscious or not, the person with the most perceived interest (you) has less "power" than other party involved (him). This puts him in a comfortable situation, while you have to deal with some b/s...

He knows that you'll be willing/interested to hang out with him whenever he so pleases.

I thought it could be for one of the three reasons listed below.

1. he could be messing with you to boost his ego

2. he may not know how to really treat somebody

3. he could be a mastermind of relationships, because it's clear that he's on your mind

Edit: noticed this above my post.

Hmm, just curious... would a guy ever send mixed signals on purpose? o_o er... if he would..... why? Cuz this guy I like -also a semi close guy friend- always sends mixed signals and it's kinda making me mad dry.gif Lol, and it confuses me a lot too..... thanks~

Most guys do this unintentionally b/c most aren't sure what they want. (actually, most would take whatever they can get)

Fyi you could be interpreting these "signals" incorrectly b/c you have a personal bias of liking the guy...

but if he's doing it on purpose, then he's doing it to get you thinking about him. (usually)

disclaimer: like all advice i give, i could be wrong... so you can take it or leave it

[Guest illicitmercy]

What's a guy's greatest turn on?

YES this is in a sexual manner, but you know, keep it 14A and not explain the whole ordeal of how to give a BJ LOL.

Examples like phone sex, costume lingerie? Cooking topless (my friends think this is totally hot!)? Watching porn with him? YES I'm curious because everyone has different answers!

YES~ I always wanted to answer this question. Lol.

1) Walking around the house naked..

2) Belly button (nice stomach), and legs..

3) Showering together..

[Guest youandmee]

His initial reaction would be confusion.

As for him throwing it away, it depends on whats on the card. If it says something like "I like you. Let's meet up sometime" he might keep it. If it's only got the tacky pre-typed words inside then that's an auto-toss.

i duno what a holiday gram is. the first thing that popped in my head were gram crackers and a telegram...

I presume it's the latter? well then, I'm pretty sure he'll be either confused or flattered if he received such a letter

thank you both . [:

hmm , a holiday gram is like a card? that gets sent with a little gift .

it doesn't say "i like you" or anything .

just a blessing for a happy thanksgiving .

he wouldn't think its from some creep would he ?

[Mercy]

Hi (: I need some guy opinions. I recently went to this 'party' and met a guy through a mutual friend. I always have good intuition if a guy likes me or not because so far I've been dead on in the past but he's a little different so I'm not too sure and don't want to be too cocky.

So I feel there was a lot of chemistry. You don't just feel one-sided chemistry, right? I noticed him looking at my direction a lot and after 30-40 minutes, he stole my friend's phone and called my number. Then, when I wanted to to go to the restroom, he told me not to wear my shoes and to wear his instead (and then asked me if I had AIDs). He was talking to me throughout the little party and we kept finding common interests and then he kept asking me to talk to him in a different language which no one else understood so I take it that he indirectly told me to talk only to him. So the party ended and the next day, he stole my friend's computer and IMed me, fooling around and such. And then he added me to facebook and my friend said he asked her for my last name to add it but he told me she told him to add me. I think he lied about her telling him to add me.

So he initiated all our conversations and etc. And he talked about introducing a person to me/teaching me stuff as if we'll see each other again.

Do you think he likes me? >_> Or does he just want to be my BFF?

[MrPower]

Hi (: I need some guy opinions. I recently went to this 'party' and met a guy through a mutual friend. I always have good intuition if a guy likes me or not because so far I've been dead on in the past but he's a little different so I'm not too sure and don't want to be too cocky.

Do you think he likes me? >_> Or does he just want to be my BFF?

I cut your post a bit short...

usually that "intuition" is the guy's nub inability or refusal to hide his feelings. Not bashing you, but I'm just saying that guys are usually blunt, and straight-forward.

er. there seems to be a lot of quantitative examples of what he did, but not qualitative... How did he act towards you? In a flirty manner? or a bit reserved?

I duno what he did except add you on fb really.

It seems like he has an interest in you... as for purpose, I would assume that he wants to scout out who you are before taking the plunge.

Edit: wait. when you said he looked over at your direction, what did he do IMMEDIATELY after you looked at his direction?

[Mercy]

Yeah :/ he's not as straight forward as the guys in the past so that's why I feel it might be possible that he's just out to get to know me as a friend. But then a friend told me he's shy, which is a bit weird because...he's a really friendly guy to everyone. But he was flirty only towards me because there was a lot of playful teasing weaved into our conversations that weren't present in others. I wasn't the only person he met that night but I was definitely the one who took up most of his interest/time.

When I looked at him, he would always ask me questions. They were pretty random and seemingly meaningless but fun.

I think he added me on facebook to keep a direct contact with me. He just left a few messages like "we'll introduce you to so and so next time" and "we'll teach you---" and that's it...so nothing is really going on.

He stole my friend's computer to IM me like 40 minutes and when the conversation began to die, he would revive it but he still hasn't added me to MSN @_@ I kept telling myself he's busy but I dunno.

I guess I'm starting to think he's interested in me but only in a friend way. If I play my cards right, it'll be possible for him to like me, right? :X Sorry, my post is all over the place because I'm scatter-brained right now. Thanks for the reply!

[Guest Javus]

Dude here

I was just wondering what you guys do with gifts(such as clothes) from your ex gfs. Do any of you still use/wear them or do you just throw them away? I kinda have some and they're still in good condition. Would it be i dunno kinda weird if I still wore stuff from my ex?

[MrPower]

Yeah :/ he's not as straight forward as the guys in the past so that's why I feel it might be possible that he's just out to get to know me as a friend. But then a friend told me he's shy, which is a bit weird because...he's a really friendly guy to everyone. But he was flirty only towards me because there was a lot of playful teasing weaved into our conversations that weren't present in others. I wasn't the only person he met that night but I was definitely the one who took up most of his interest/time.

When I looked at him, he would always ask me questions. They were pretty random and seemingly meaningless but fun.

I think he added me on facebook to keep a direct contact with me. He just left a few messages like "we'll introduce you to so and so next time" and "we'll teach you---" and that's it...so nothing is really going on.

He stole my friend's computer to IM me like 40 minutes and when the conversation began to die, he would revive it but he still hasn't added me to MSN @_@ I kept telling myself he's busy but I dunno.

I guess I'm starting to think he's interested in me but only in a friend way. If I play my cards right, it'll be possible for him to like me, right? :X Sorry, my post is all over the place because I'm scatter-brained right now. Thanks for the reply!

I meant to say whether he kept eye contact, looked away, smiled, etc..

It could be from your personal bias, but from what you're telling me, I think he has an interest.

mmm. the reason why he hasn't added you: he forgot, is too busy, or is waiting a bit to add you so he doesn't come off as desperate.

it's totally fine. I function in the same way, so I understand

Good luck!

Dude here

I was just wondering what you guys do with gifts(such as clothes) from your ex gfs. Do any of you still use/wear them or do you just throw them away? I kinda have some and they're still in good condition. Would it be i dunno kinda weird if I still wore stuff from my ex?

I don't throw away gifts... lol

To me, it's like spitting in the face of the person who gave it to you.

But then again... I never really had a bad breakup, so it's up to your discretion.

Unless it's a couple's ring/shirt/whatever, I usually wear/use it without it being a problem.

edit: Oh and happy thanksgiving

[Guest em_vanilla]

Questions!!

I have a lot of guy friends because it's super easy for me to get along with guys. Haha.

So...what do outsider guys think when they see one girl hanging out with a bunch of guys? Like, 2-4 guys.

Because when I see one girl with 2-4 guys I think "Uh....okay...." Haha but never considered my situation until now.

And why guys constantly think another guy is trying to "get at" a girl when they're just having a friendly conversation?

For instance, a guy and I were sitting down next to each other at lunch having a a nice conversation about shipping rates from Asia(lol) because he ordered something from China and I ordered something from South Korea. And then my other guy friend next to me said something like "Ohhh look at him trying to get at Christina." ><"

So why do guys automatically assume?!?!!?! Even if it's purely for joking purposes...I find it a tad irritating.

[MrPower]

Questions!!

I have a lot of guy friends because it's super easy for me to get along with guys. Haha.

So...what do outsider guys think when they see one girl hanging out with a bunch of guys? Like, 2-4 guys.

Because when I see one girl with 2-4 guys I think "Uh....okay...." Haha but never considered my situation until now.

And why guys constantly think another guy is trying to "get at" a girl when they're just having a friendly conversation?

For instance, a guy and I were sitting down next to each other at lunch having a a nice conversation about shipping rates from Asia(lol) because he ordered something from China and I ordered something from South Korea. And then my other guy friend next to me said something like "Ohhh look at him trying to get at Christina." ><"

So why do guys automatically assume?!?!!?! Even if it's purely for joking purposes...I find it a tad irritating.

she's one of the "guys".

Or she doesn't like hanging out with girls. nothing more, nothing less.

b/c guys know how guys work.

I can confidently say that most guys won't talk to a girl just for the sole purpose of a "friendly conversation". There usually is an incentive involved.

[Guest T_Sport]

Questions!!

I have a lot of guy friends because it's super easy for me to get along with guys. Haha.

So...what do outsider guys think when they see one girl hanging out with a bunch of guys? Like, 2-4 guys.

Because when I see one girl with 2-4 guys I think "Uh....okay...." Haha but never considered my situation until now.

And why guys constantly think another guy is trying to "get at" a girl when they're just having a friendly conversation?

For instance, a guy and I were sitting down next to each other at lunch having a a nice conversation about shipping rates from Asia(lol) because he ordered something from China and I ordered something from South Korea. And then my other guy friend next to me said something like "Ohhh look at him trying to get at Christina." ><"

So why do guys automatically assume?!?!!?! Even if it's purely for joking purposes...I find it a tad irritating.

As a guy, I don't think seeing a girl in a group of guys strikes any sort of connotations, so don't worry!

As for the 'get at' business, it's mostly jealousy! Even if they're not in to you, guys will still get jealous Its usually quite easy for a guy to tell if another guy is interested or whatever though, so sometimes they might be right.

[Guest ThePrime]

Questions!!

I have a lot of guy friends because it's super easy for me to get along with guys. Haha.

So...what do outsider guys think when they see one girl hanging out with a bunch of guys? Like, 2-4 guys.

Because when I see one girl with 2-4 guys I think "Uh....okay...." Haha but never considered my situation until now.

And why guys constantly think another guy is trying to "get at" a girl when they're just having a friendly conversation?

For instance, a guy and I were sitting down next to each other at lunch having a a nice conversation about shipping rates from Asia(lol) because he ordered something from China and I ordered something from South Korea. And then my other guy friend next to me said something like "Ohhh look at him trying to get at Christina." ><"

So why do guys automatically assume?!?!!?! Even if it's purely for joking purposes...I find it a tad irritating.

When I see a girl with a group of 2-4 guys I usually think either:

a) She's probably really social/nice/outgoing and in general a pretty friendly person. The other guys probably accept her as "one of the guys" and that there is no chemistry between any of them.

She's popular with the guys because she's super attractive, and that atleast one of the guys in the group is trying to get with her despite the other guys in the group.

I generally think of (a). And every girl that I've known that hangs out with a group of guys is exactly how I described.

LOL it's so bad but yeah, a lot of guys think that when another guy tries to start convos with a girl that hes trying to get with her haha. Honestly, I don't really know why either but I think it's just our natural competitive instinct when it comes to us guys trying to get the girl. I'm totally guilty of this haha. Earlier in the school year there was this guy trying to start a convo with this cute girl in one of my classes, and i swear every guy in the room that could hear them talk was thinking "ohh god here we go....". But after a while, I think most guys will realize with time that guys do infact have convos with girls just to be friendly, that they aren't trying to get with them.

I can definitely see why this can be irritating for girls, I guess all I can say is: sorry, we cant help it?

[Guest x33chiinkiee]

So like... my boyfriend's friend & I were talking today, here's how our conversation pretty much went:

him: what you up to today?

me: I just got home. you?

him: just bored. more than yesterday

me: oh haha

him: I wanna get out of the house.

me: then go somewhere?

him: wanna go somewhere with me?

me: sure... but I doubt any place is open considering the fact today's Thanksgiving...

& then random stuff added here

So yeah, then later on, when we were on the phone, I asked him if my bf knew about him taking me somewhere.

& he was like "no... bring someone else along then..."

Basically, my question is, I shouldn't over think this right?

He's not interested or anything is he? We're just on the "friends" level right?

[MrPower]

So yeah, then later on, when we were on the phone, I asked him if my bf knew about him taking me somewhere.

& he was like "no... bring someone else along then..."

Basically, my question is, I shouldn't over think this right?

He's not interested or anything is he? We're just on the "friends" level right?

sounds pretty normal to me. maybe a hint of interest.

It looks like you're pretty satisfied with the relationship you're in (w/ your bf), so i really don't think you should worry about him.

If something does happen, just state the truth.

[Guest cindy--rox]

^I usually just lurk this thread for similar situations but I'd like to thank you (if that's possible) for answering questions and giving your thoughts so quickly and with such insight. I love your posts^^