Ask The Fellas

[Guest forum-love]

it over until the fat lady sings.

lol,huh? i know what ur trying to say but..if u apply that philosophy to everything,death would not be death; birth would not be birth.(inser whatever metaphor u want..)

guys won't treat gurls they like..well like crap right?

* and to think that he was so sweet when i confessed.u boys,lie!(no,i don't mean that but )

so when should someone stop lol?

[Guest marvinoppa]

it was meant to be slightly humorous while arousing confusing and angst. i cant say whether its over or not. maybe "it" is on vacation with paid time off. maybe, "it" is not available right now, please leave a message after the tone. how long has it been? do you two spend time together outside of school?

best suggestion, stay UP, dont let it get you down. ask him to go out and do something. but stay UP. nobody likes a debbie downer.

[Guest shirotaka]

lol,huh? i know what ur trying to say but..if u apply that philosophy to everything,death would not be death; birth would not be birth.(inser whatever metaphor u want..)

guys won't treat gurls they like..well like crap right?

* and to think that he was so sweet when i confessed.u boys,lie!(no,i don't mean that but )

so when should someone stop lol?

I really didn't understand a sentence you said. I think what he means is its not over until you confirm it? And I'ma agree with him on this one, he might get back to you a week later who knows? But after about a month or two you might not want to put your hopes up as high

[Guest watcher]

lol,huh? i know what ur trying to say but..if u apply that philosophy to everything,death would not be death; birth would not be birth.(inser whatever metaphor u want..)

guys won't treat gurls they like..well like crap right?

* and to think that he was so sweet when i confessed.u boys,lie!(no,i don't mean that but )

so when should someone stop lol?

you stop when you want to stop.

you go when you want to go.

just know that when you go, you gotta earn another point before you can stop.

[Guest forum-love]

it was meant to be slightly humorous while arousing confusing and angst. i cant say whether its over or not. maybe "it" is on vacation with paid time off. maybe, "it" is not available right now, please leave a message after the tone. how long has it been? do you two spend time together outside of school?

best suggestion, stay UP, dont let it get you down. ask him to go out and do something. but stay UP. nobody likes a debbie downer.

how long has it been since i confessed? erm 3-4days i guess. nope,we don't spend time with each other outside of school. I confessed coz the feelings had lasted for a year or so.

thanks marvin.

I really didn't understand a sentence you said. I think what he means is its not over until you confirm it? And I'ma agree with him on this one, he might get back to you a week later who knows? But after about a month or two you might not want to put your hopes up as high

i apologise,must be the emotions speaking.

but yes,u guys do make sense. herm....but would u all agree that it was smart not to confront him any further?

i am typically a very rash person,once i decide to do somehting i just do it. so god knows what would happen if i just walk up and give him a bashing for ignoring me .( lol no worries,i ain't violent like that.)

you stop when you want to stop.

you go when you want to go.

just know that when you go, you gotta earn another point before you can stop.

yes,watcher. thank you.

[Guest shirotaka]

i apologise,must be the emotions speaking.

but yes,u guys do make sense. herm....but would u all agree that it was smart not to confront him any further?

Of course it was smart of you to confront the person. You could had been hopelessly wondering for the next 3 years and then at the end you just give up. And two things coulda happened without those three years, he coulda liked you back or he wouldn't had. So you just saved yourself 3 years. But then again it might make things awkward between you and him is what you're thinking right? Well not much you can do about that. At least you'll arrive at an answer

P.S. OH sorry I just re read. Yeah it was smart not to hassle him call him in a week. I thought you were asking was it smart to confront him xD.

[Guest forum-love]

Of course it was smart of you to confront the person. You could had been hopelessly wondering for the next 3 years and then at the end you just give up. And two things coulda happened without those three years, he coulda liked you back or he wouldn't had. So you just saved yourself 3 years. But then again it might make things awkward between you and him is what you're thinking right? Well not much you can do about that. At least you'll arrive at an answer

P.S. OH sorry I just re read. Yeah it was smart not to hassle him call him in a week. I thought you were asking was it smart to confront him xD.

hahahahahha.calling him in a week is a genius answer. maybe i'll msg him after the exams end. which is in another 7 days... lol.

I'll try not to ignore him .( yet i can't see how i can be normal when there is so much confusion)

honestly,i think the problem is no longer with me. He now needs to decide what he wants......i'm not looking for a relationship,i just wished that i could get to know him better. but i guess when some1 confesses to you so randomly....u would be taken aback.

in some ways i forgive him,but darn it hurts. Gurls don't normally confess xD that doesn't matter to me,but i really wished that he had the decency to at least interract with me. (eg: let me sign his yrbook!)

i think i am getting repetetive =.= thank you all so much for the words of advice.I need to go try doing well in my tests now!

(soompi is addictive!)hah

[Guest catsinheat]

no its not strange. some girls are just very comfortable being physical. errr 2 of my ex's still like to hold my hand and clasp my arm. we do let people know that we're not together should we be asked. if he knows, he knows. what would you have me do? tell you to tell him again?

next!

haha, really? i've always got people telling me such overt physicality between two platonic friends is just weird, so i wanted a male pov.

i guess you could make me a sammich or something.

Best thing to do is wait. My opinion is, if a guy gets touchy he usually wants to go further, guys don't usually touch girls that much if they're just friends. I mean hugging is nothing. But massages, holding hands, cuddling means a whole nother thing. Unless he has a girlfriend I'd be careful. But wait it out and see what happens.

He might be misinterpreting where your feelings are and where his is, guys aren't usually the touchy/feely type when it comes to well...anybody except a gf or someone they're pursuing. If he knows he's in the "friend zone" but has a lot of physical contact like massages/etc then I think they're definetly is some signals mixed up there.

Talk to him about it, and make sure that you tell him your feelings outright otherwise he'll think there's something more that's growing when there isn't.

hm, okay. i guess i do have reason to be apprehensive? we'll see. maybe i'll just ask him, i just want to clear the air so i won't have to worry while spending time with him. thank you both.

[Guest shirotaka]

hahahahahha.calling him in a week is a genius answer. maybe i'll msg him after the exams end. which is in another 7 days... lol.

I'll try not to ignore him .( yet i can't see how i can be normal when there is so much confusion)

honestly,i think the problem is no longer with me. He now needs to decide what he wants......i'm not looking for a relationship,i just wished that i could get to know him better. but i guess when some1 confesses to you so randomly....u would be taken aback.

How random is random? I mean you do know him well don't you? He is at least a friend maybe? Acquaintances? You kind of have to give us this info. If its a friend and he didn't see it coming, he'll be thinking about it and how he feels about you. If you're completely random, doesn't even know you, he'll be like...what was that? A joke? I mean how did you ask him and how well did you know him?

[Guest forum-love]

How random is random? I mean you do know him well don't you? He is at least a friend maybe? Acquaintances? You kind of have to give us this info. If its a friend and he didn't see it coming, he'll be thinking about it and how he feels about you. If you're completely random, doesn't even know you, he'll be like...what was that? A joke? I mean how did you ask him and how well did you know him?

lol,gosh i have posted so many questions here xP u don't rememeber lol?

no not friends.we're classmates,see each other every day during lunch. we acted like we nvr knew each other though.

let me try to be a story teller ,again!

start if yr,i like this dude. i guess i was in a bad state emotionally,so i got attached to him. One day,random as hell, i walk past him and compliment him. He is stunned,doesn't reply. I figure,"gah,that was embarassing but what the heck! at least i didn't just admire him from afar."

SO,the day after he pays more attention to me. and then there was an event at school, he comes to sit beside me( which is VERY out of character,coz he's always with this particular group of ppl.always!) but i left him coz i didn't realise/

at that time, i was still very unsure of my feelings. I was still very worried about what his 'group' would think of me ( and still am a bit worried about that to this day)...I semi-ignore him some more.

One day i muster enough confidence to just add him on msn( got it thru a friend).attempted to ask him about HW....i believe he blocked me soon after. ( i don't suppose that people don't come online for 3 months) anyhow,i can't find out anymore because i have deleted and blocked him too.

long story shortened, when he finally does seem to show signs of being flirty with me/ trying to get me attention...i completely ignore hi. why? i tried to protect myself,coz he nvr reacted to all my ealiar actions( i had attempted small talk with him all multiple occasions,only to met with one-worded answers)

I guess i am 'amazing' at pretending that i don't like him.....coz when i did confess,he was completely stunned." I didn't expect that. I don't know what to say..) I apologized and he said there was nothing to be sorry about..To cover my butt, i did say "i at least wanna be friends"...and then i allowed him to leave, coz i know that he needed time. All in all,he was very sweet about it. I was a nervous wreck,shy too,but i smiled and so did he. He had an amazingly sweet smile ( but that could be because i think he looks cute)...

SO yeah,thats my story. i think.

ps-my friends say that i probably overthought his actions,and that him not giving me reply is an indicator or that. Reason is that, " Any guy that likes a gurl,no matter how scared they are,will show a gurl if he likes her."

[Guest shirotaka]

lol,gosh i have posted so many questions here xP u don't rememeber lol?

no not friends.we're classmates,see each other every day during lunch. we acted like we nvr knew each other though.

let me try to be a story teller ,again!

start if yr,i like this dude. i guess i was in a bad state emotionally,so i got attached to him. One day,random as hell, i walk past him and compliment him. He is stunned,doesn't reply. I figure,"gah,that was embarassing but what the heck! at least i didn't just admire him from afar."

SO,the day after he pays more attention to me. and then there was an event at school, he comes to sit beside me( which is VERY out of character,coz he's always with this particular group of ppl.always!) but i left him coz i didn't realise/

at that time, i was still very unsure of my feelings. I was still very worried about what his 'group' would think of me ( and still am a bit worried about that to this day)...I semi-ignore him some more.

One day i muster enough confidence to just add him on msn( got it thru a friend).attempted to ask him about HW....i believe he blocked me soon after. ( i don't suppose that people don't come online for 3 months) anyhow,i can't find out anymore because i have deleted and blocked him too.

-still typing-

If someone doesn't get to it first, I'll reply. But I'm headed out, I'll still voice my opinion but laters.

[Guest bLiSSfUL<3]

so I've been dating this guy for 2 months and he finally asked me out... (its been almost a week) but it seems like hes pushing me away while around his friends but he's really sweet when it's us two.. why do guys do this? or why would he be doing that? :T

[Guest marvinoppa]

i really dont think "calling in a week", or "figuring out what he wants," is a good answer to your situation. you want to get to know him more, not choke an answer out of him. if you want to see something develop, then make something develop. they way you and shirotaka are talking makes it sound like you've given the guy an ultimatum and youre waiting for an answer.

the problem is, there is no answer. you confessed to him, great. you want to get to know him more, fantastic. im pretty sure i said this before somewhere to someone, but, the guy does not owe you anything. he has no responsibility to you. do not make it sound like he's being irresponsible for not "answering" or responding to your confession. if you really want to get to know him, then you should actively try to get to know him. take the initiative as you say you have been doing. ask him out to coffee, lunch, a movie, whatever.

so I've been dating this guy for 2 months and he finally asked me out... (its been almost a week) but it seems like hes pushing me away while around his friends but he's really sweet when it's us two.. why do guys do this? or why would he be doing that? :T

i have seen this happen often. friends and dongsengs of mine, have a dual personality. One personality for the guys and another for the girlfriend. wearing different masks, hats, or whatver. I used to do it when i was younger. I think the reasoning behind it is that i had not found my equilibrium yet. I still wanted to be "one of the guys," and i wanted to be sweet to her, but not in front of the guys.

im assuming its the same way with him. he doesnt want to be viewed as "whipped." he'll either find his equilibrium or it'll get completely out of control.

[Guest Unseen Choice]

so I've been dating this guy for 2 months and he finally asked me out... (its been almost a week) but it seems like hes pushing me away while around his friends but he's really sweet when it's us two.. why do guys do this? or why would he be doing that? :T

It's normal trust me, guys tend to keep their girlfriends from their friends for a while, he'll come around in time. It's just one of those things that we guys do.

He's just used to being with the guys, and we're not the type to act all sweet in front of the guys even with our girlfriends in the beginning, but like I said he'll change in time.

[Guest marvinoppa]

tread carefully,try not to get too attached. Get to know him as usual,be very casual.Get to know her too? When u allow something to intimidate you,u r instantly on the loosing end

funny how that works huh? you posted that in another thread.

[Guest shirotaka]

i really dont think "calling in a week", or "figuring out what he wants," is a good answer to your situation. you want to get to know him more, not choke an answer out of him. if you want to see something develop, then make something develop. they way you and shirotaka are talking makes it sound like you've given the guy an ultimatum and youre waiting for an answer.

the problem is, there is no answer. you confessed to him, great. you want to get to know him more, fantastic. im pretty sure i said this before somewhere to someone, but, the guy does not owe you anything. he has no responsibility to you. do not make it sound like he's being irresponsible for not "answering" or responding to your confession. if you really want to get to know him, then you should actively try to get to know him. take the initiative as you say you have been doing. ask him out to coffee, lunch, a movie, whatever.

Like you said, you don't want to choke an answer out of him, but you don't want to be left clueless. Yes take action to get results but you don't want to smother him with questions and seem desperate. Of course he doesn't owe her anything but at least have some sort of consideration, because without it, all of us would just be left ignored and clueless. Also she would learn from what ever answer she is told.

[Guest Koii]

I HAVE A QUESTION *~*

So, if you had a girl--and were really serious about her, like, you REALLY super duper are into her/want to be with her no matter what.

and college time rolls around..

and you have the opportunity to go somwhere out of state.

Let's say for example,you both live in Hawaii, and you get the chance to go to college in New York.

Would you stay and just look for another college in Hawaii to stay with the girl?

Or leave and go to NY?

And if you choose to go to NY, but you don't want to end it with the girl (because your madly in <3 with her)

would you wait for her?...would you ask her to wait for you? / try to make the relationship last?

[Guest marvinoppa]

I HAVE A QUESTION *~*

So, if you had a girl--and were really serious about her, like, you REALLY super duper are into her/want to be with her no matter what.

and college time rolls around..

and you have the opportunity to go somwhere out of state.

Let's say for example,you both live in Hawaii, and you get the chance to go to college in New York.

Would you stay and just look for another college in Hawaii to stay with the girl?

Or leave and go to NY?

And if you choose to go to NY, but you don't want to end it with the girl (because your madly in <3 with her)

would you wait for her?...would you ask her to wait for you? / try to make the relationship last?

i would go to the best school i could. motives being that i would want to be able to provide for her (or whoever) to the best of my ability. plus more girls on the mainland!! woo hoo! but uh...yea...

[Guest watcher]

I HAVE A QUESTION *~*

So, if you had a girl--and were really serious about her, like, you REALLY super duper are into her/want to be with her no matter what.

and college time rolls around..

and you have the opportunity to go somwhere out of state.

Let's say for example,you both live in Hawaii, and you get the chance to go to college in New York.

Would you stay and just look for another college in Hawaii to stay with the girl?

Or leave and go to NY?

And if you choose to go to NY, but you don't want to end it with the girl (because your madly in <3 with her)

would you wait for her?...would you ask her to wait for you? / try to make the relationship last?

you do what's best for yourself. if it were me, i'd go to the best college i could. i know it might sound mean, but i wouldn't compromise my personal success because of a girlfriend. love can come several times in life, and many more if you open your mind to other people. but going to a good college and gaining the opportunity for success is harder to find, especially as you get older and move on to live out an independent life.

[Guest stradivarius]

i wanted to ask you guys why does my bf rejected me when i asked him to measure his penis.

he said he's uncomfortable about it until we're married.

it's like. we've done all those things on the bed except for sex. we've seen each others everything.

does that makes sense? it's all the same right?

pls reply guys. thanks in advance.