Ask The Fellas

[Guest HERMIT]

Let's say you're dating for at least a year with a girl? If your a guy in a relationship, why would you set up a profile on a dating website? Is this considering cheating?  

It is rather suspicious behavior.  If you're in a supposed committed relationship, there is no reason to be messing around on a dating website.
If this is happening then that's certainly a red flag indicating that all's not right.  Cheating is potentially just around the corner.

[Guest nana544]

@HERMIT miss you!! You always give great advice :)!! I agree with you, it is suspicious behavior indeed!! If the guy is happy in his current relationship then there's no reason for him to look somewhere else.

[Guest x0ny]

I agree with hermit. I'm guilty of that act before. It's because there was something wrong with the relationship and there was a lapse in communication somewhere.

[raymondc27]

this co-worker guy at work didn't show up to work on Monday and then I asked him on Tuesday what happened to him, and he says that he was sick in bed?? So I say, were you sick?? and after a long pause he says yes. Will he think I miss him or something? Assuming that we like each other? 

I mean if a girl you like ask you about your absent? Does that ring any alarm?

yes and no, it depends on how you guys know one another or perhaps he might think it's the normal jesters

Bros of soompi, wouldn't you hate the girl who just disappeared into thin air on you for 8 months when you thought things were a-okay, not replying to about 20 text messages throughout that timespan? Or should I be wary of some revenge plot hidden behind this way-too-nice face? 

i think your fine, he just wants another chance at you, if i knew you though, i would hate you lol, but if i do see you again i dont mind the talk

Let's say you're dating for at least a year with a girl? If your a guy in a relationship, why would you set up a profile on a dating website? Is this considering cheating?  

it depends if the girl know, its never a good thing when someone in the relationship flirt with someone. unless it's a open relation and both parties understand the game. 

[raymondc27]

Guys: has your girlfriend ever complained about you taking her for granted or not putting in enough effort?
If so, how have you responded? Did you agree with her or think she's overreacting/clingy?

It's often said that men enjoy a chase, but once they obtain what they want, they get comfortable. When pursuing a girl, you frequently think about her, make plans with her, compliment her and basically try to make her fall for you too. As soon as she says 'Yes' to being your girlfriend, gradually the compliments disappear, and proper dates are few. You think you don't need to compliment her because she already knows you think she's beautiful and you consider your date 3 months ago recent. (I've heard even the most attractive girls with plenty to offer complain about this too). 
Do you notice this difference or are you oblivious? If you do notice, why do you think it happens? 

 

Well she doesnt need to complain im taken her for granted because i know i am, i understand what i need in a relationship and sometimes overstep boundaries . its true men do enjoy a chase, and we do get comfortable when we start dating but i believe it's not just the guy, its both parties. i dont know about other guys but i seem to see my partner like we're married. Everyone does it differently.

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest severus]

Can somebody tell me what to say to a heartbroken male friend with a tender soul? He doesn't even want to go to the strip club, or see sunlight.

It's different when girlfriends are heartbroken because there's always a bunch of us, so I never have to be the sensitive comforting one. 

 

Halp. 

[5880]

 

We don't know anything about your friend or the context behind his breakup so it's difficult for us to determine what he wants to hear (assuming there is something reasonable that he'd want to hear that would lift him back up).

Considering that he's already entered a socially lethargic phase where he's unmotivated to even leave his house, you might want to consider just visiting him every now and then. Bring some boba, play an online (or even board) game with him, any kind of activity really; as long as it gets him active in some kind of activity with someone and get his mind off his misery. With some time, he'll open up about his turmoil and you just need to listen and agree (to a reasonable degree) to whatever emotionally-driven crap he says and he'll come around and realize that his misery wasn't that bad or that it's just no longer worth his attention.

[odaesan]

Can somebody tell me what to say to a heartbroken male friend with a tender soul? He doesn't even want to go to the strip club, or see sunlight.

It's different when girlfriends are heartbroken because there's always a bunch of us, so I never have to be the sensitive comforting one. 

 

Halp. 

Like 5880 said, we don't know what happened, so we don't really know what could be said.

There's an idea in what you posted. Try getting other people together to go to him and hang out.

[raymondc27]

Can somebody tell me what to say to a heartbroken male friend with a tender soul? He doesn't even want to go to the strip club, or see sunlight.

It's different when girlfriends are heartbroken because there's always a bunch of us, so I never have to be the sensitive comforting one. 

 

Halp. 

easy, be the rebound or find him one lol

just messing, there's no way you can comfort him unless he does it himself, get him drunk and let him go wild, time heals pain, give it time

[ReckLESS_]

What are some things I could say to the jerk that played me? Something that would make him feel guilty.

[nn_nn]

sometimes silent is the best revenge.. make him curious/ponder of what you are doing, whether or not what he had done to you even matters to you and etc.. 

the last guy I dated, I asked him to give us a second chance but he refused because of his hormone so I left him. He asked me to be friends and I told him,"sure" but whenever he asked to hangout i always make excuses of not meeting up with him. For the past 4 months, he have been calling/text me religiiously. He used my phone number to see if what kind of social network I have and added me on fb/ig/ and snapchat ... last night he messages me saying "i see that you have a boyfriend now, I hope he treats you better than how i have been treating you. and saying a bunch of stuff like regret for letting me go" 

Edited July 13, 2015 by nn_nn

[Guest HERMIT]

What are some things I could say to the jerk that played me? Something that would make him feel guilty.

Tell him that he caused you so much stress that you lost the baby.

 

Edit: Ah man, never mind, maybe that's too strong of a thing to say.

Edited July 14, 2015 by HERMIT

[5880]

 

I don't think this is the appropriate action you should pursue. If he thought so little of you as to manipulate your feelings, what makes you think he'll be moved to guilt by anything you say? If you tried shaming him, he'll probably scoff at you and ignore it. If you yelled and cursed at him while publicly revealing his wrongdoings, maybe he'll feel some sense of shame, but it's also likely anyone who witnesses this will think you're an obsessive and crazy richard simmons. There's really very little effective means for you to make him feel anything if he doesn't take you seriously. 

Best thing you can do for yourself is to admit that you made a mistake, you trusted the wrong person. Now move on with your life and find another source of happiness. I don't think anything beats vengeance than nonchalance and the fact that your life is undeniably better now that they're gone.

[fatma_1]

just wanna ask...

do guys find humorous girls unattractive? like girls who could carry jokes even with her male friends... from what i heard these kind of girls are always "friend-zoned".. mind sharing some thoughts on this?

[raymondc27]

just wanna ask...

do guys find humorous girls unattractive? like girls who could carry jokes even with her male friends... from what i heard these kind of girls are always "friend-zoned".. mind sharing some thoughts on this?

for guys , we fall for physical attraction first then personality, at times if the girl seems really cool and down we do bro-zone them instead of friend zone, i truly dont mind a relationship with a girl who can carry jokes and have fun but i do prefer mature girls more often

[fatma_1]

just wanna ask...

do guys find humorous girls unattractive? like girls who could carry jokes even with her male friends... from what i heard these kind of girls are always "friend-zoned".. mind sharing some thoughts on this?

for guys , we fall for physical attraction first then personality, at times if the girl seems really cool and down we do bro-zone them instead of friend zone, i truly dont mind a relationship with a girl who can carry jokes and have fun but i do prefer mature girls more often

u mean like graceful type?

[raymondc27]

just wanna ask...

do guys find humorous girls unattractive? like girls who could carry jokes even with her male friends... from what i heard these kind of girls are always "friend-zoned".. mind sharing some thoughts on this?

for guys , we fall for physical attraction first then personality, at times if the girl seems really cool and down we do bro-zone them instead of friend zone, i truly dont mind a relationship with a girl who can carry jokes and have fun but i do prefer mature girls more often

u mean like graceful type?

yes those are the type i often go towards, it's weird but whenever i date someone a lot of guys are also chasing after her. The chase is always fun but in the end i fall head over

[edidi]

What are some things I could say to the jerk that played me? Something that would make him feel guilty.

Sing "Bad Blood" by Taylor Swift...

just wanna ask...

do guys find humorous girls unattractive? like girls who could carry jokes even with her male friends... from what i heard these kind of girls are always "friend-zoned".. mind sharing some thoughts on this?

Its mainly preference. Friend-zoned goes both ways but rarely would the guy would friend-zone a girl. If the girl confesses the guy would almost always want to try.

[fatma_1]

just wanna ask...

do guys find humorous girls unattractive? like girls who could carry jokes even with her male friends... from what i heard these kind of girls are always "friend-zoned".. mind sharing some thoughts on this?

Its mainly preference. Friend-zoned goes both ways but rarely would the guy would friend-zone a girl. If the girl confesses the guy would almost always want to try.

I think in this case then guys are more willing to be flexible than girls.... Girls usually will reject the guy that she does not have interest in first..

 

 

u mean like graceful type?

yes those are the type i often go towards, it's weird but whenever i date someone a lot of guys are also chasing after her. The chase is always fun but in the end i fall head over

Then I would conclude that guys like challenges... the feeling of winning over sth is what guys strive for... well for girls, this kinda of situation are a part of our romance fantasy... that is why so many girls loveeee to watch kdrama since the main lady would always be chased by at least 2 guys.. 

 

Now I am curious about another thing, what are the reasons a guy would friend-zone a girl? 

Edited July 25, 2015 by fatma_1

[raymondc27]

just wanna ask...

do guys find humorous girls unattractive? like girls who could carry jokes even with her male friends... from what i heard these kind of girls are always "friend-zoned".. mind sharing some thoughts on this?

Its mainly preference. Friend-zoned goes both ways but rarely would the guy would friend-zone a girl. If the girl confesses the guy would almost always want to try.

I think in this case then guys are more willing to be flexible than girls.... Girls usually will reject the guy that she does not have interest in first..

 

 

u mean like graceful type?

yes those are the type i often go towards, it's weird but whenever i date someone a lot of guys are also chasing after her. The chase is always fun but in the end i fall head over

Then I would conclude that guys like challenges... the feeling of winning over sth is what guys strive for... well for girls, this kinda of situation are a part of our romance fantasy... that is why so many girls loveeee to watch kdrama since the main lady would always be chased by at least 2 guys.. 

 

Now I am curious about another thing, what are the reasons a guy would friend-zone a girl? 

it happens when we get to comfortable, but a lot of guys tend to fantasy about the girl first before deciding to friendzone or not, i've done that before and ended up friendzoning a few people i thought i could be with when i was younger. Nowadays i tend to straight out tell a girl that we don't have a chance, shut them down before it starts hurting right? plus it's also a very interesting topic to be towards because she knows i'm not there to "hunt" or be a "dog" and i can be truthful with my words, After being in society for a bit of time i learned that i talk more then i should at times and not think of better sayings, i truly can't stand immature people because of the things i've been through and my personality. Everyone has their own way of doing things, might want to get a second opinion from another guy.