Ask The Fellas

[Guest __CHINA.DOLL]

If you were hoping to develop something with this guy then yea those were some interesting ways to handle a goodbye. You probably made it seem like you are a bit stuck up or didn't really like him much. If the guy really likes you despite that odd interaction then you should have another chance to give him a decent goodbye without snarky comments or pats on the arm.

On the other hand if you guys are just gonna be friends and nothing more then it's w/e.

Sigh* the thing is.. i have NO idea why i said/did those things.. i really didnt mean to sound rude or anything. In addition.. the " odd" thing is.. he KNOWS that i have feelings for him .. :/

[Guest Andreas1]

Sigh* the thing is.. i have NO idea why i said/did those things.. i really didnt mean to sound rude or anything. In addition.. the " odd" thing is.. he KNOWS that i have feelings for him .. :/

lol well.. do you feel comfortable telling him that you were nervous? I'm sure you will get another opportunity to make up for that little mistake. Don't worry too much.

[Guest __CHINA.DOLL]

haha no.. i don't know i don't think i was nervous.. i just didn't think of hugging or anything.. haha i just wanted to get out of the car.. for some reason.. shrugs8 im just crazy .. do you think i should tell him that im sorry and i felt bad about the awkward situation?? orrr.. would that make it even MORE awkward haha

[Guest Andreas1]

haha no.. i don't know i don't think i was nervous.. i just didn't think of hugging or anything.. haha i just wanted to get out of the car.. for some reason.. shrugs8 im just crazy .. do you think i should tell him that im sorry and i felt bad about the awkward situation?? orrr.. would that make it even MORE awkward haha

If you guys regularly chat then sure nothing wrong with a small apology, it won't be awkward if you mention that you had a really nice time etc... Or else if you guys have planned another date already then you could probably just wait till then to explain.

[odaesan]

I went out to lunch with this guy.. and he drove and dropped me off.. and when I left , I just PATTED him on the shoulder and said " thanks ill see you soon"

and tried to open the door. He then was like " wait at least give me a hug" and then i ACCIDENTLY blurted out loud " yay.. awkward car hugs" and hes like .. " yeah .."  Am i over thinking it? i feel as though i made things REALLY awkward.. but i didn't mean to.. T_T if you were the guy would you have felt.. " bad" by what i had said??? My friend said that .. patting him on the shoulder was pretty.. " awkward"

I think it got awkward once he asked for the car hug. I think car hugs are awkward enough and asking for one as the other person leaves is more awkward.

Did you give him a light touch on the shoulder or did you tap his shoulder more than once?

You just accidentally said something you were thinking and I think he should understand.

[Guest _ATELIER]

what!? so guys like the chase AND girls who take the initiative!?

mindjohn teshed.

...but anyway, here's a question, this guy and i were on for a while, until he decided to stop contacting me for like 2 months! and out of the blue i get his txt msg "why aren't we talking anymore =[?" really? .. wtf does he mean, he's the one that stopped! so i was miffed and told him "whateverrr, you stopped texting me! idc you're just another stranger now." and he didn't respond. i was expecting a witty comeback from him but no!.. what do ya think? time to move on? i actually like the kid, but i don't got time for these games! what does he want!? D:

- aw.. thanks for the negative reps you guys!

[Guest Andreas1]

what!? so guys like the chase AND girls who take the initiative!?

mindjohn teshed.

...but anyway, here's a question, this guy and i were on for a while, until he decided to stop contacting me for like 2 months! and out of the blue i get his txt msg "why aren't we talking anymore =[?" really? .. wtf does he mean, he's the one that stopped! so i was miffed and told him "whateverrr, you stopped texting me! idc you're just another stranger now." and he didn't respond. i was expecting a witty comeback from him but no!..  what do ya think? time to move on? i actually like the kid, but i don't got time for these games! what does he want!? D:

Are you one of those people who always expects the other person to start a convo with you? Or did you do your part to keep the interaction going.. like initiate conversations yourself from time to time? If you did your part to try and keep in contact with this guy and he just didn't follow through then forget about him I guess. I wouldn't expect him to contact you again after saying "idc you're just another stranger now". So depending on the circumstances it's either time to reflect on your own actions and apologize or time to move on. Your call.  

[odaesan]

what!? so guys like the chase AND girls who take the initiative!?

mindjohn teshed.

...but anyway, here's a question, this guy and i were on for a while, until he decided to stop contacting me for like 2 months! and out of the blue i get his txt msg "why aren't we talking anymore =[?" really? .. wtf does he mean, he's the one that stopped! so i was miffed and told him "whateverrr, you stopped texting me! idc you're just another stranger now." and he didn't respond. i was expecting a witty comeback from him but no!..  what do ya think? time to move on? i actually like the kid, but i don't got time for these games! what does he want!? D:

He probably stopped because the conversation was getting awkward or stale.You said he's another stranger. You're the one who is playing games with him, so if you want to keep sending messages with him, change the direction of the conversation. You took it to a dead end.

[Guest _ATELIER]

^ ... guess i should've thought that one twice,

i was actually trying to be witty, but i guess it just came off as blunt.

Are you one of those people who always expects the other person to start a convo with you? Or did you do your part to keep the interaction going.. like initiate conversations yourself from time to time? If you did your part to try and keep in contact with this guy and he just didn't follow through then forget about him I guess. I wouldn't expect him to contact you again after saying "idc you're just another stranger now". So depending on the circumstances it's either time to reflect on your own actions and apologize or time to move on. Your call.  

no, i'm actually one of those people who has that tendency to text so much it often becomes annoying, but i didn't wanna be too forward and needy with this one (he's your run of the mill player), so i just let him do most of the work, i'm pretty sure i met him halfway though, i mean we genuinely clicked and it wasn't just some hook up, so i thought we'd be past the whole 'who starts what' ordeal. my only problem is why he decided to avoid me for such a longgg period of time ('course the only person who has that answer is him.. yah yahh) =__=

but thanks for the input anyway.

[Guest Andreas1]

no, i'm actually one of those people who has that tendency to text so much it often becomes annoying, but i didn't wanna be too forward and needy with this one (he's your run of the mill player), so i just let him do most of the work, i'm pretty sure i met him halfway though, i mean we genuinely clicked and it wasn't just some hook up, so i thought we'd be past the whole 'who starts what' ordeal. my only problem is why he decided to avoid me for such a longgg period of time ('course the only person who has that answer is him.. yah yahh) =__=

but thanks for the input anyway.

Ya if you want to find out why you will prob have to apologize for the comment and simply ask in a serious way. I didn't neg you btw.. I'm not gonna neg any girl that gets the courage to come and ask her question here unless it's something reaaally dumb.

[Guest _ATELIER]

apologize? really? fine.

and thanks for not 'negatizing' my post,

means it wasn't a reaallllyyy dumb question =P

...

so what colors do guys tend to like?

lol justt kidding.

[odaesan]

What was your negative reputation number?

[Guest roar.]

I know it's typical that a guy suddenly just stops talking to you, and cuts all connection. Well, I've always experienced it. They just disappear without an explanation. They would treat me as if I'm invisible. I then try to recall why, what did I do? But I can't find any.

I'm always just left behind, wondering what happened.

Can you guys tell me, why are guys like this? Do guys just not like to confront and talk things through? Why do guys keep running away from their problems?

[odaesan]

I know it's typical that a guy suddenly just stops talking to you, and cuts all connection. Well, I've always experienced it. They just disappear without an explanation. They would treat me as if I'm invisible. I then try to recall why, what did I do? But I can't find any.

I'm always just left behind, wondering what happened.

Can you guys tell me, why are guys like this? Do guys just not like to confront and talk things through? Why do guys keep running away from their problems?

You mean some guys, since not all guys are like this. Some girls are like this too. They could just be jerks. In that case, don't worry about it.

[Guest cheerydumdum]

i'm not sure if i should pursue this guy i'm interested in. i'm currently 20 and he's 25. he's a family friend and i've known him for 9+ years, but we've barely hung out in this long time we've known each other. we see each other about once a year, but we talk online almost every day. we've talked on the phone before, but not that many times. he calls me his lil sis and i call him my big bro. he's jokingly mean to me, but he's always there for me when i have problems. i'm one of his closest friends. it's pretty clear that he doesn't like me right now though, and i know i've always been in the friend zone. i have a feeling he still thinks of me as a little kid. at the end of this month, i'll be in his area for a convention. he's agreed to give me a ride from the convention center to the nearby subway station every night for three nights. it'll probably take him about half an hour to drive me there each time.

do you guys think i should try to get him to grab dinner or something with me? do you think there's a chance we can be more than friends if we get to know each other better in person?

[odaesan]

There's a chance and you could have a better relationship than most people have if it happens, but a good friendship like you two have also is special.

It's difficult to say anything at this point, but I say be his friend. If something happens, it happens. If you try to become his girlfriend and he just thinks as you as a friend at the time, you'll have an awkward bump in the friendship and it might ruin your chances of becoming a couple even when the friendship returns to normal.

Just be patient and have fun while you're waiting for the right moment. If you understand each other, I'm almost certain he'll say something when he's ready.

[Guest SlicedBread]

apologize? really? fine.

and thanks for not 'negatizing' my post,

means it wasn't a reaallllyyy dumb question =P

...

so what colors do guys tend to like?

lol justt kidding.

I can only add that using irony in texting can backfire unless a person knows you well enough to realize you're joking.

Oh, and we love pink.

[Guest BattleRoyale]

Hey fellas, just a simple scenario that's puzzling me (cause I'm noob like that). Say you invite a girl, who you're pretty close to, to dinner for your birthday with just the two of you. Would it be just that, that you're inviting a friend for dinner on your birthday, or would there be some other hidden agenda? Also would it make a difference if the girl was your best friend as oppose to your 'close friend' or wouldn't that matter?

[Guest roar.]

You mean some guys, since not all guys are like this. Some girls are like this too. They could just be jerks. In that case, don't worry about it.

How should I act towards him now? Should I pretend that it never bothered me, or should I make it obvious that it did hurt me and that I am somewhat pissed at him? What would "pleasure" a jerk? Because I certainly don't wanna make him feel any better about himself; I actually want to make him feel guilty and horrible (since I didn't do a thing and he's acting ridiculous).

[Guest __CHINA.DOLL]

I think it got awkward once he asked for the car hug. I think car hugs are awkward enough and asking for one as the other person leaves is more awkward.

Did you give him a light touch on the shoulder or did you tap his shoulder more than once?

You just accidentally said something you were thinking and I think he should understand.

This was only the second time where we hung out.. and first time we ever had any physical contact with each other..

yeah .. car hugs are really awkward just the space/position you are in.

I kind of patted him on the shoulder before i said " okay ill see you soon" and before he asked me for the hug.

haha does it make a difference? between light touch versus tap?