Ask The Fellas

[Guest Rybka]

Does this even happen? I find girls get over rejection and loss a lot faster than guys, and that this kinda thing happens more with guys stuck in the friendzone

you have no idea. girls may not display it to you, but rejection will tears them up like you can't imagine. its actually the opposite, if she knows she can have you, she will like you less. if you reject her she will be more attracted.

[Guest SlicedBread]

if a girl confessed to a guy that she likes him, but got rejected. they stayed as friends, and shes always there for him whenever he needs someone. Will he change his feelings for her?

If the reason for rejecting you is not something you can change, then no.

haha my confession was a really bad timing. and his answer was an okay answer. he just says that he honestly dont have feelings for me and he wants a girl he can respect.. and for me, i try my best to help him every way i can. for example, he wants to get built and have a nicer body.. im helpin him by being his personal trainer on that. and his essays are a mess, so i try my best to help him do a better job on that.

A guy can appreciate that, but that's what friends do for each other.  If there is no attraction, none of this is likely to change anything. You'll be doing the same innefectual thing Nice Guys do.

And not only that. While you pine away for your friend, love could be knocking on your door and you wouldn't hearm, because you'd be blocking off all other possible men who you could share a great connection with.

[Guest aZooRe]

hm guysss

what do you think about a girl giving you their number without you asking, especially the case of a first time and only time meeting?

and given straight up saying "here's my number" or in a letter form inconspicuously?

[Guest Rybka]

hm guysss

what do you think about a girl giving you their number without you asking, especially the case of a first time and only time meeting?

and given straight up saying "here's my number" or in a letter form inconspicuously?

I'd think that girl is interested in me, and giving me a go-ahead sign, whether or not that is what you intended

[Guest nihewo87]

I am so confused about this guy. Sorry this is gonna be long. Please give me some opinions!!

About 4 months ago, I had a short convo with this guy few years older than me in my class and I had a crush on him since then. He initiated the conversation with me first since I was sitting beside him. There was another girl sitting beside him but he didn’t talk to her. A guy never talked to me first…so this is the first time. He even joked around with me. Sadly, he dropped the class and I never saw him again. Near the end of the semester, I finally saw him again and I gathered all my courage to talk to him. He remembers me but he didn't remember my name until I gave him the first 2 letters of my name. Then he asked for my phone number. He seemed a bit nervous. I gave it to him and I was very surprised he asked because no guy I met asked for my number that quick. He said that we should have lunch together sometime or something. Though I was freakin happy that he asked for my #, I never heard from him again. During the last day when I was about to move out of rez (2 weeks after he asked for my #), I saw him walking in front of me from a distance. I waved at him and then he waved back at me. I was expecting him to stop and say hi to me but he seemed like he was in a hurry. I considered myself to be lucky since I got a chance to see him before I left. After a day or two, I was debating with myself whether I should add him on FB or not. (I’m an extremely shy person.) I eventually did and I initiated a wall to wall convo with him. Id say the convo was going great but it ended short. Because after talking about blah blah blah, he was like “Anyways, give me a shout when you’re in *name of city* and we should hang out! Have a great summer!”. Now that I read our convo over, it seemed like he wanted to end it. I was stupid and I tried to continue the convo by asking if he will be back in school next semester but he never answered me back. Lol T_T. And I found out that he is in a relationship but few days ago, he changed it to single. O_o But he still have 3 pics of his gf?? All my friends thought he was interested in me at first, now it’s a completely different story (I think). I keep questioning why he asked for my # in the first place. What do you guys think? Was he interested in me at all?? Does he actually want to hang out with me or did he use that as a nice way to exit the convo? >_< ugh.

[Guest Andreas1]

What do you guys think? Was he interested in me at all?? Does he actually want to hang out with me or did he use that as a nice way to exit the convo? >_< ugh.

If I had to guess I'd say something is going on behind the scenes that you aren't privy to. He may be dealing with a breakup judging by the info you were able to glean so far. If I was you I would play the wait and see game but in the mean time keep all my options open. Be careful about becoming a rebound for this guy.

[Guest threetwofivesix]

This or That?

Thin girls with not much curves but pretty face or Nicer body but average face?

[Guest Andreas1]

This or That?

Thin girls with not much curves but pretty face or Nicer body but average face?

If you are asking for personal opinions I'm a sucker for a pretty face when it comes to physical attraction. A decent body as well but the face always catches my eye first.

[odaesan]

Does he actually want to hang out with me or did he use that as a nice way to exit the convo? >_< ugh.

I think he just ended the conversation. If you are in the area he specified, then post on Facebook and tell him you're there for a while and he can't weasel his way away from it.

My first thought is that he was keeping options open when he met you but he did a flimsy attempt to keep them open while he was in a relationship just in case and that's something no one should be doing.

Just think of it as practice for when you ask someone who actually does care when you start to communicate.

[Xkumagorobeamx]

Then he maybe meant that he doesn't think of you as a girl. Either way, not respecting you or saying you're not a girl to him means it's not happening. Maybe you didn't think about it at the time, but that comment actually is quite rude and you should have asked him what he meant at that moment, but you do what you need to do.

haha yeah.. i was soo struck out that day.. but anyways.. this is still gonna bug me.. should i still ask him what he meant by "someone he can respect"?

[Guest Midnight-Sun]

So... I already posted this in the "Prom Season" topic, but... I think that it might be more useful to put it here > <

"So... if someone you *just* met (like, 2 days ago?) asks you to their school prom... and they don't go to your school~ And they're 2 years older! And you don't really know them, but just met for a couple of hours with a mutual friend...

what exactly are you supposed to say??? = ='''

I don't know what to do... > <

not to mention that my parents would NOT be OK with that, lol... "

Also, if I do go, is that like saying that I like him??? because I don't even know him = u ='' so I wouldn't want to give that impression...

or could he have meant it as a "just friends" thing? like, he didn't have anyone to go with, and all his friends did, so he had to ask someone...

I'm confused T T

I've never had a boyfriend, or ever had a guy ask me to anything like this before... so maybe I'm overreacting? - o - or is it a bit unusual...?

please answer me when you can XDDD

[Guest Andreas1]

So... I already posted this in the "Prom Season" topic, but... I think that it might be more useful to put it here > <

"So... if someone you *just* met (like, 2 days ago?) asks you to their school prom... and they don't go to your school~ And they're 2 years older! And you don't really know them, but just met for a couple of hours with a mutual friend...

what exactly are you supposed to say??? = ='''

I don't know what to do... > <

not to mention that my parents would NOT be OK with that, lol... "

Also, if I do go, is that like saying that I like him??? because I don't even know him = u ='' so I wouldn't want to give that impression...

or could he have meant it as a "just friends" thing? like, he didn't have anyone to go with, and all his friends did, so he had to ask someone...

I'm confused T T

I've never had a boyfriend, or ever had a guy ask me to anything like this before... so maybe I'm overreacting?  - o - or is it a bit unusual...?

please answer me when you can XDDD

You stated the possibilities and as far as we know any one of them could be valid. I don't think it's that unusual for someone who needs a date to prom to ask a girl he meets and he likes to go with him. I would assume that some people don't care if the person they take to prom is someone they know really well or just a sweet girl they recently met. I skipped prom so maybe someone else could give a better answer. However I do believe that if you say yes then he will presume that you have some interest in him. If you want to go then tell him you are going just as friends for now if he doesn't mind, otherwise he should ask someone else. If you don't want to go then tell him your parents will not allow it and you only just met him etc..

[odaesan]

haha yeah.. i was soo struck out that day.. but anyways.. this is still gonna bug me.. should i still ask him what he meant by "someone he can respect"?

It's all about the timing. The timing was perfect right after he said it, but now you need to wait for a situation to occur.

You can say "You know the other day when I told you I liked you, you told me you wanted someone you could respect. I was so caught in the midst of things that I didn't ask, but I'm still wondering. What did you mean by that?" but I think that sometimes being direct like this causes someone to quickly try to move away from the topic and if you can't move with the flow of the conversation, you might lose your chance in one shot.

I recommend waiting for a time when you could say something without starting a conversation on it, but if it was recent enough and you think you can do it, start by asking him. Also remember to lead into it as best as you can and make sure there are no outside distractions. It's easier to change a subject when there's something interesting happening near you.

Try to only ask once. The question will become less effective each time you ask it.

[Xkumagorobeamx]

It's all about the timing. The timing was perfect right after he said it, but now you need to wait for a situation to occur.

You can say "You know the other day when I told you I liked you, you told me you wanted someone you could respect. I was so caught in the midst of things that I didn't ask, but I'm still wondering. What did you mean by that?" but I think that sometimes being direct like this causes someone to quickly try to move away from the topic and if you can't move with the flow of the conversation, you might lose your chance in one shot.

I recommend waiting for a time when you could say something without starting a conversation on it, but if it was recent enough and you think you can do it, start by asking him. Also remember to lead into it as best as you can and make sure there are no outside distractions. It's easier to change a subject when there's something interesting happening near you.

Try to only ask once. The question will become less effective each time you ask it.

haha thank you for advice!

i'll try to ask him when the time is right.. so i blew it the first time i confessed to him.. terrible timing.. lol

[Guest Dreaming-sailor]

Posted message

[Guest Aliyosha]

Should I confess anyways to a friend of mine I've liked for awhile? He likes someone else at the moment.. they're not going out or anything (that's what I think I'm not too sure). He used to like me but that was awhile back. Would it be better to just tell him and get it off my chest? Or is there a chance he'll distance himself away from me.. The reason I've never him before is cause he seems to always like a girl so I just back off..

You could do it to get it off your chest, but accept the consequences. He might distance himself from you just to let it die down

[Guest SlicedBread]

Should I confess anyways to a friend of mine I've liked for awhile? He likes someone else at the moment.. they're not going out or anything (that's what I think I'm not too sure). He used to like me but that was awhile back. Would it be better to just tell him and get it off my chest? Or is there a chance he'll distance himself away from me.. The reason I've never him before is cause he seems to always like a girl so I just back off..

Well, are you his type at all? Unless he already has some sort of attraction to you, and can see himself dating you, confessing won't change a thing. Personally, I wouldn't burden someone with my feelings if I knew they weren't into me-- specially if I cared about the friendship. That's just me, though.  

As far as advice of how to snag him, I think you are better off asking the ladies. I don't think any guy can give you very good advice unless he was a gay dude who consistently turned out straight guys, lol (I haven't met one yet).

[Guest aZooRe]

OK OK. Lame situation here but imagine WHAT IF.

So You're a guy, and you're trying to to go sleep (or youre just with a girl) and then you ask the girl "sing to me"

You don't know the skill level of her singing, but she says she's bad. And you're a pro.

1. Would you care if she sucks at singing?

2. What kind of song would you like to hear?

[J.LOVE.K]

so i really like this guy from work... but he is super shy & only talks to a selective group of people.

But he recently started talking to me a lot and last week, he walked me to my car and talked to me for 5 hours!

he said he feels comfortable talking to me and that i'm one of the few people he'd hang out with outside of work.

i dont know if he's just saying that as a friend or if he has feelings for me too. i mean we never have talked outside of work but maybe he just felt super comfortable around me as friends.. plus he is super shy

he also invited me to go watch him play basketball and didn't invite anyone else (including his girl best friend)..

would a guy just want to talk to a girl for 5 hours if he didn't have feelings??

[Guest Aliyosha]

OK OK.  Lame situation here but imagine WHAT IF.

So You're a guy, and you're trying to to go sleep (or youre just with a girl) and then you ask the girl "sing to me"

You don't know the skill level of her singing, but she says she's bad.  And you're a pro.

1. Would you care if she sucks at singing?

2. What kind of song would you like to hear?

...What a particular situation, lawlz

Just go for it, and sing to your heart's content. Honestly you'd know what kind of song to sing to him because you know him better than the rest of us. Assuming it's late at night though, and he's hoping to fall asleep, don't go off in some crazy death metal mini coopers though