Ask The Fellas

[RiderKamen]

hey guys,

im a long time soompi reader, just not much of a poster, but i really need some help with my guy issues!

ive talked to all my close friends, been getting different answers, i just need more information.

i'll keep it short, me and this guy have been flirtatiously texting here and there for the past 2-3 months

i didn't see it as anything too serious, bc the texts/calls were dirty/flirty/etc you guys know what i'm talking about..to me he just seemed like a COMPLETE player, but i didn't care, i just enjoyed the attention.

next thing you know, a few days ago, we met up, and he completely called me out on me lying (barely lied), saying that i don't try hard enough, i don't think about him enough to call/text him, told me that he's been cheated/played on so he hates any kind of shady stuff, he literally remembered everything since the beginning.

i was just in shock because trust me, the way he was texting/talking to me, was just COMPLETE PLAYER LIKE attitude

so after he put me on blast basically, the next day, i decided to "try" and i told him to come over & hang out..I called & texted, got no response out of him (didnt pick up or answer my text). i told him it was my last time "trying".

i just feel like one day, hes all over me, the next he barely talks to me?

Am i still getting played? lol

my first impression of him was = player, (i know what you guys are thinking why would u even deal with him? im just trying to have fun as well)

but at the same time, he threw me off that one time he went crazy on me?

am i not reading something right?

PS

if there are any PLAYER EXPERTS (lol) out there, please PM me and i'll give you the details im just CONFUSED!

Well based on what you told us, I think you and him need to find new people. It seems like he's struggling with himself.

hello dear soompiers!

I am thinking about asking a guy to hang out, any suggestions would be appreciated, oh and I am interested in him and he is my friend but not that close. What things would be fun to do?

Thank you so much-!

Anything that involves 'doing something' would be cool for a lot of guys.

Is there anything that he's interested in? If he's into anime, take him to a convention or something in that natrue.

Ok i'll try to make this long story short. I met this guy around almost 3 years now. We started off just talking occasionally from time to time online. Then about a year ago we started talking literally every single night to each other online for a full year and a half. I found it kind of weird how we would talk so much about everything if we were just friends..so I thought that he might like me more than a friend.

But after awhile we hung out together a couple of times and he never would show any signs he's interested in me in that way. We'll pay for our own stuff such as meals or movies whatever. He probably paid for me once. But yea he'll always initiate the hang outs and ask me to hang out so I do.

So about this year we started texting each other non stop day and late at night. If I don't text him for a couple of days because I dont want to bother him as much.

When he eventually does text me after a couple of days i'll be like well look who's alive! he'll respond, "well you barely text me anyways!"

I hope this story wasn't too confusing but i was just wondering if he sees me as a friend or is not ready to commit and ask me out?

BG INFO:

He's known for not really committing and he's never had a real relationship before. He's always telling me he's waiting for the "perfect" one.....

We'll one there is no 'perfect' person lol. But far as the friendship, it seems like he doesn't want to commit for whatever reason that is. You would have to ask him to figure it out because we (the readers and posters) are in the dark as much as you are.

guys, how do you feel about getting a message in a bottle for xmas?

The message 'alone' would be cool.

so, my friend (or a guy in my class who at least I consider my friend) isn't the most nicest guy in the world. lets just say he's a bad boy. like he swears at my friend, and he says he doesn't like her, yet he constantly annoys her (everyday! Oh, god it's so annoying!) so, what I'm asking, is the saying, "The more you hate, the more you love." relevant to this situation?

If he's your friend and he's cursing at your friends, you need to address him about his actions.

Also here's a short story: I know a girl that went through it with some dude. The dude treated her nice and was rude to everyone else. As time went by, she grew as a person and decided that she can only like the dude from a distance based on his behavior. The dude didn't take it to well and slowly began treated her like he treats everyone else.

Now in your case he may not turn on you. However, if he's being an a-hole then you don't have to accept at all. If he's doing wrong then he's doing wrong; justifying it because he's your friend is enabling him.

[Guest happygolucky]

if a girl takes the initiative to make plans, will it make her seem pushy and desperate or will you guys be flattered that you don't have to do all the work?

what do guys talk about when they're hanging out without any girls? my guy friends are always telling me that they talk about nasty things so i'm really curious...

i second this question

[Guest The-Entity]

Talking about Hepatitis B:

"Yeah, it's actually only dangerous if you a lot of copies of it."

"Yup."

"Like high concentrations. Like making babies."

"Uh... huh..."

"You need high concentrations..."

Dude, stop.

"High concentrations of..."

Everyone's listening, waiting for you to finish, knowing exactly what you're going to say.

"To make babies you need high concentrations of sperm. High concentrations. It'll work better."

At the table is one lady and seven men.

So, in this situation, what is the man talking about Hepatitis B/baby-making thinking as he says this, looking directly at the lady?

What would the other guys think? And what do they think the girl is thinking? What do YOU think the girl is thinking?

[Guest Yuki]

Sometimes. It sounds silly to me.

But if this is the same guy that you made a thread about before where you laughed at him when he was displaying insecurity that might be it.

haha wow you remembered my last thread.

so what should I do?

Well in a sense he's being forced to say he misses you.

If he says he don't or just a little then obviously that's an answer that you don't want to hear.

but overall both men and women got to understand that everybody feels differently on certain things at certain times.

It may take longer for him to feel the same way about you as you do for him.

ok I understand. thanks

[Guest shutupstasia]

what does it mean ????

"i'm getting depressed cus of you"

i want to break up with him now..just dont know how.....

[Guest chukie]

there's this guy at my university who i have quite a few mutual friends with. the mutual frds are ppl who i am on good terms with but dont really hang out that much with. anyways we have never really talked and don't know each other but we def know each other by face.

on campus i would notice him staring at me. sometimes i just pretend not to know that he's staring and other times i just stare back. one time when i was talking to friends and passed him, he even stopped walking to turn to look at me. so this past week, he saw me while walking, stared, looked down and smiled to himself and walked away. what does that mean? did he smile cuz he knows/heard something about me? why would a guy do this? thanks!

[Guest alucard454]

I know it's really early but would it be weird if I gave a guy valentines day chocolate?

He's just a FRIEND. I don't want him to think that its anything more.

I'm actually giving chocolate to a lot of guy friends. lol.

[Guest brinyblue]

never mind, I worried for nothing. XD Its all good now.

[Mannosuke]

what does it mean ????

"i'm getting depressed cus of you"

i want to break up with him now..just dont know how.....

Sounds exactly how he worded it. You can use it as your reason.

he saw me while walking, stared, looked down and smiled to himself and walked away. what does that mean? did he smile cuz he knows/heard something about me? why would a guy do this? thanks!

Ask your friends. More effective.

I know it's really early but would it be weird if I gave a guy valentines day chocolate?

He's just a FRIEND. I don't want him to think that its anything more.

I'm actually giving chocolate to a lot of guy friends. lol.

Call it a x-mas chocolate then, wrapped in x-mas packaging with an x-mas card that has no personalized message on it aside from the text that comes with the card itself.

Chocolate is chocolate.

[Guest Ajana]

Why are guys afraid of relationships?

Even though he has feelings and we had a relationship for 4months and he still loves me but he is afraid for a serieus relationship. I don't get it :')

[Guest selinaym]

I've been told on various occasions that I'm too difficult to approach. What do people mean when they say that? On the contrary, I'm quite a nice person I think...

[Mannosuke]

Why are guys afraid of relationships?

Even though he has feelings and we had a relationship for 4months and he still loves me but he is afraid for a serieus relationship. I don't get it :')

You should ask him.

Maybe he's had bad experiences with previous relationships.

I've been told on various occasions that I'm too difficult to approach. What do people mean when they say that? On the contrary, I'm quite a nice person I think...

Some guys are intimidated by girls that have any sort of confidence in themselves.

Some guys are intimidated by girls that aren't afraid to voice their opinions.

Some guys are intimidated by girls that are too beautiful (ie: "out of league")

Some guys are intimidated by girls that game better than they do

A lot of silly cowardly reasons.

If I had difficulty approaching someone, I probably wouldn't know she was nice cause I wouldn't know anything about that person.

[Guest asianmeatball]

Is it normal for guys call guys a lot? The other day my bf's guyfriend called him 12x in one morning just to hang out. If my bf didn't call him back, i don't know how many times his guyfriend would have called. It has happened a lot recently and I'm not even counting the number of e-mails. I don't know...but the guyfriend seems a bit desperate to me. i feel like he's my bf's gf. I don't think i've even call my bf that much in two days.

[Mannosuke]

Is it normal for guys call guys a lot? The other day my bf's guyfriend called him 12x in one morning just to hang out. If my bf didn't call him back, i don't know how many times his guyfriend would have called. It has happened a lot recently and I'm not even counting the number of e-mails. I don't know...but the guyfriend seems a bit desperate to me. i feel like he's my bf's gf. I don't think i've even call my bf that much in two days.

Some guys just really like to talk to people.

He should work as a telemarketer!

[Guest xReiko-Love]

If he's your friend and he's cursing at your friends, you need to address him about his actions.

Also here's a short story: I know a girl that went through it with some dude. The dude treated her nice and was rude to everyone else. As time went by, she grew as a person and decided that she can only like the dude from a distance based on his behavior. The dude didn't take it to well and slowly began treated her like he treats everyone else.

Now in your case he may not turn on you. However, if he's being an a-hole then you don't have to accept at all. If he's doing wrong then he's doing wrong; justifying it because he's your friend is enabling him.

oh gosh, I've told him many times. He doesn't swear alot, (well to me at least) but he is a pain in the butt. -.-" I guess I consider him a friend, just not a very close one. anyhoo, thanks!~ ^^

[Guest Octopus__]

So I've experienced a 'heart breaker' incident with this boy who had feelings for me. We've been talking for about three weeks and it's both on and off conversations. Sometimes we'd text constantly, other times we wouldn't. Well he wanted to talk to me in person and I had a feeling it was because he wanted to confess and such to me. He's really sweet, like perfect in every way. However I already knew what he wanted to talk about and sort of segued the topic in through a text. He eventually told me his feelings and I shared mutual feelings towards him. Though I did accept him, I told him there were conditions. Instead of having the 'considered relationship' we would have, I told him I'd rather have my studies put before him. In a way, he took offense and felt rejected. I'm not sure if it was because he wasn't feeling special and important, but those were my honest feelings. I'd rather have school out of the way then put myself in a relationship. I explained to him that we wouldn't have time for each other much and that I'd bring things down. So instead of having a serious relationship with him, I told him things would be sort of hard to manage. After I told him, he didn't want to talk to me anymore. He just kept replying 'okay' after I had apologized for sounding too harsh and rude. Did I do something wrong? Well I think I did from the start but still.. I have this immense guilt. Maybe I should stop being so honest.

[Guest ohitsning]

Would a guy look at a girl (that he thinks may like him) and then turn around when she looks back because he's also interested in her or because he just wants to check if she's looking at him? Sorry if that's confusing. :\

[Guest mszcrystal]

is getting a guy a build a bear a bad idea? :x

The guy i like's birthday is coming up and i went to build a bear to make a bear with his fav basketball team's jersey. And then after a lot of thinking, it feels kind of lame/corny :x

was it a bad idea?

edit:

yea you can say we're pretty close.

Our feelings are mutual, too (:

[Guest oOChristyXx]

So i have a guy friend, who when sometimes he talks to me his guy friends would tease him. Such as like oh you should put your arm around her and teach her how to bla bla bla (not perverted), and he would say no and i would say no lols. Or like ohh he is sitting by her. lol. but i mean would guys do that when they think his friend likes someone or when he knows for sure? and also, isnt it awkward for the guy who is teased, because i just simply pretend i dont hear it but i think it is cute, but i also now watch what i do, not wanting his friends to think something

[Guest sharin.kenichi]

is getting a guy a build a bear a bad idea? :x

The guy i like's birthday is coming up and i went to build a bear to make a bear with his fav basketball team's jersey. And then after a lot of thinking, it feels kind of lame/corny :x

was it a bad idea?

not a guy, but just my opinions.. how well do you know him? but then if you know his favorite bb team and stuff, i'm guessing you guys are fairly close? (or at lesat friends) so i think it's fine. There's a senior that I really respected and as his farewell gift I gave him a build a bear and dressed the bear up as one of his favorite singers. he loved it. lol. .