Ask The Fellas

[odaesan]

what comes to mind when someone describes a girl as wholesome?

Oatmeal first came to mind, but it means that the girl is good for someone's health. She's not the type to do things to hurt herself or others.

[Guest love.xox.]

just recently broke up with a boyfriend, we never had a fight or anything like that, but he suddenly starts ignoring me, adding me to limited profile on facebook, deleting off msn, why do you guys do that?? i just wanted to be friends with this guy and be on good terms....

[Guest converted]

Theres a group of guys I hang out with often.

I like one of the guys and one other guy knows this, and he's close friends with the guy I like

I'm pretty good friends with all of them especially the guy that knows who I like.

Though yesterday, he bombed me with "I like you, will you go out with me"

I called him and told him that I really liked this guy and would prefer to keep things the way its been between us.

He said he was fine with it.

but now he's suggesting he'll help me out with the guy I like, by hinting to him that I like him. Because he's a really oblivious guy. I don't really know if I should let him do that, especially since he's been insisting on doing it? The situation is a tad messy..?

I dunno T.T I really tried to keep out as much as I can so u guys don't have to read tons.

Well, the appropriate response differs according to the wingman's temperament (when I say wingman, I'm referring to the friend who offered to help you out with the guy you like). If he seems like the type to ruin a (potential) relationship due to jealousy, then I'd suggest that you politely refuse his help. However, why you would even be friends with someone like this is beyond me.

If however, he does seem like he genuinely wants to help, then its not a ludicrous idea. I personally enjoy helping friends of mine (male and female) in matters of the heart, whether through advice or execution, due to the thrill of the process and the satisfaction that comes with positive results.

However, if you still have reservations, try to have your wingman specify what he's going to do, so you can edit his actions beforehand.

[Guest chika_shia]

What do you guys think about a girl (who's entering into her early twenties), that has never had any dating relationships/experiences? Is it a turn off? Cause when I tell people I've never had a bf they give me a weird look like they're thinking there is something wrong with me. Be honest, i'm curious. xD

[Guest x kisekiboshi]

I keep seeing this guy around campus and I have the biggest urge to introduce myself to him. If I go up to him and say, "Hi, I've seen you around campus a lot lately. You may not remember me, but I asked you the other day what they serving for dinner at [insert campus name]. Anyway, I just wanted to introduce myself and say hi" would this be too creepy or forward? If it's too forward, is there a better way to go up and introduce myself to him?

[odaesan]

What do you guys think about a girl (who's entering into her early twenties), that has never had any dating relationships/experiences? Is it a turn off? Cause when I tell people I've never had a bf they give me a weird look like they're thinking there is something wrong with me. Be honest, i'm curious. xD

There's nothing wrong with it. The way I see it, dating is more about making meaningful relationships than making more relationships than someone else. Even people who reach thirty get the same response if they only dated one person. It happens when it happens and there's nothing wrong with it.

I keep seeing this guy around campus and I have the biggest urge to introduce myself to him. If I go up to him and say, "Hi, I've seen you around campus a lot lately. You may not remember me, but I asked you  the other day what they serving for dinner at [insert campus name]. Anyway, I just wanted to introduce myself and say hi" would this be too creepy or forward? If it's too forward, is there a better way to go up and introduce myself to him?

It would be too creepy for me, but I'll tell you right now that many guys would really hope for something like that to happen.

You may be able to find an easier way to talk to him by using the location where you see him like it seems you have done. Many people here actually go with talking, talking, talking and end it with "I'm [name], by the way." They wait for the other person's name and they end with "It's nice to meet you." Then they talk to each other like old friends after that.

[wengfrecrixs]

What do you guys think about a girl (who's entering into her early twenties), that has never had any dating relationships/experiences? Is it a turn off? Cause when I tell people I've never had a bf they give me a weird look like they're thinking there is something wrong with me. Be honest, i'm curious. xD

lol there is alot of peoples who older than you still did't experience first love 

I am 18 , and i never had any dating before 

[Guest Andreas1]

just recently broke up with a boyfriend, we never had a fight or anything like that, but he suddenly starts ignoring me, adding me to limited profile on facebook, deleting off msn, why do you guys do that?? i just wanted to be friends with this guy and be on good terms....

This isn't limited to men, sometimes it is easier for someone to cope with a breakup by cutting off all ties to the person.

[Guest likelovers]

If you were a tiny bit interested in a girl (you've noticed her, but aren't really interested in her), would it be a turn-off if she came onto you sort of, where you can tell she's pretty interested in you?

[Guest Andreas1]

If you were a tiny bit interested in a girl (you've noticed her, but aren't really interested in her), would it be a turn-off if she came onto you sort of, where you can tell she's pretty interested in you?

Personally I'd be flattered, but if I really wasn't interested I'd try to make it clear that I'm not gonna reciprocate. If there was a possibility of interest on my part then I'd probably enjoy the attention and perhaps join in with the flirting.

[Guest cheerydumdum]

Andreas1, thanks for the advice!

[Guest kawaikiss]

Most of my friends in college are guys and I see them almost everyday.

The thing is, I treat them like my brothers (and I have no feelings for any of them) but some of the guys started liking me.

I want to remain good friends and don't wanna risk ruining our friendship........I don't know what to do!

Should I stop hanging out with them as much and hope that they will stop liking me eventually?

[Guest HERMIT]

I want to remain good friends and don't wanna risk ruining our friendship........I don't know what to do!

Should I stop hanging out with them as much and hope that they will stop liking me eventually?

Well, that would be one way of doing it .... but that's not the way to preserve the friendship.

If you start ducking out on them, they could come to either feeling badly about what the situation has come down to or possibly resenting you by not really acknowledging their confessions. As hard as it may be, you know the obvious answer is to just tell them straight up that you aren't interested in them in that way and that you only want to be friends. Now, they may not accept it and end up disliking/breaking ties with you anyway - but at least you handled it honestly and allowed them to make their own choice as to how they elect to process and react to your decision.

[AiriinxKumori]

what do you when your s/o is at a lost in picking a goal or major for his future?

I have tried appealing to what he would like to do but he also doesn't take that either.

[Guest TaTo]

I know this might sound like a trivial question, but if you were in a relationship with a girl two years older than you how would you want her to treat you? Maybe it's because I've known him for a long time before we started dating, but it's hard for me to transition into treating him less as a younger brother type guy and more as my boyfriend. I feel cautious about bringing up things related to our age difference and how he's younger than me but I get somewhat annoyed when he points things out about me being immature/unknowledgable about the 'real world' (not because I don't acknowledge it but because at times it feels like he does it to prove a point that he's 'worthy' enough to go out with me despite his age).

I don't know if my question was really clear...but basically if you have ever had this kind of experience, how did you deal with it? Thanks in advance!

[Guest Andreas1]

what do you when your s/o is at a lost in picking a goal or major for his future?

I have tried appealing to what he would like to do but he also doesn't take that either.

Unless they are trying to leech off of you I suggest you be supportive and encouraging while letting them work it out. Try not to nag.

[Guest yangri]

So someone has been offering to drive me to school on days they have classes as well. They say it's convenient for them since we live pretty close and his class ends at around the time I need to get going, so I take him up on his offer. I'm pretty sure most guys would not do this so I will be assuming he has a motive (if he's not, someone let me know please). Is it wrong for me to take him up on his offer when at this moment, I do not like him that way?

[AiriinxKumori]

Unless they are trying to leech off of you I suggest you be supportive and encouraging while letting them work it out. Try not to nag.

Sigh i suppose its only thing I can do at the moment. Its worry and anxiety. Since we're both 21 and while I already started my major and such. He hasn't figured out what he wants to do. I understand some take longer than others but I'm just worried that he might figure it out too late. I mean there's nothing wrong with staying in school longer than you're suppose to as long as you have a direction and goal but as of right now there's none of that. @.@

[Guest Rekidai]

two questions and two different scenarios! Thanks for the help in advance

1. Met a guy in the club, basically my ideal guy (but the age lol) funny, tall, nice, sincere, good to talk to. We danced the whole night together, asked for my number and chatted for a bit I went to my friends and he went to his. He came back after awhile with a bottle of water and my friends are all smiling and nudging me. I just said thanks and gave him a peck on the cheek >__< too bold? Basically when he got home that night he txted me for a bit and now we've been texting for a month or so. We keep hinting we will see each other but the only times we ever asked to hang out is at another club or maybe**** go to each other's location. He lives 30-45 mins away. So do you think hes still moderately interested enough to date me? D: He's a full time worker so it's hard to schedule anything with him but i mean he must be interested in me still he's been txting and flirting with me.

2. Went to an event and met a guy. I was interested at first only by looks, thought he was cute. We just said hi and that was that. I was riding in the car with someone else and my friend the next day (rode with that guy) basically told her that he was really interested in me and asked her to give his number to me. My friends refused and said she would tell me and i can get it from my other's friend's bf (close friends with the guy). I know i always give an intimidating look this isnt the first time a guy wanted to talk to me and get to know me but didn't. Even some of my guys friends before said i was intimidating the first time they met me. what can i do to change that? And If i don't get the number from my friend (i want him to ask me directly --i have a rule) the next event we go to if i start a convo would that make him more comfortable to talk to me than? Or should i wait for him to approach me?

[Guest janicebigbrother]

Chris Rock said it best: "Every man's got a choice to make: commitment or new pu$$#"

It's a funny routine, but there's a lot of truth in it.

LOL maybe the less attractive girl is easier?

Why can't most who post here say "some guys"?

Some guys do it just because they can do it.

You're right, I'll rephrase it. *Some guys