Ask The Fellas

[Guest o2_intake]

Why is it that guys never seem to initiate a "hello"?

I always have to initiate hello's or else we awkwardly ignore each other.

you haven't met confident guys yet?

you haven't met single guys yet?

maybe you're not their type..

anyway it's good that you initiate first unlike some girls that never do

So I like this guy from our class a lot but he's socially awkward and a complete snob. I can't really read what's going on in his mind cause it's really hard to read him. Today he'd act all sweet and cute then the next day or after a few hours he'd ignore me and act like he doesn't even know me. Funny thing is I really think he's comfortable with me since he talks to me a lot especially when we're with our friends which is also weird cause when it's just the two of us, he can't even talk to me seriously. Last time I kinda jokingly asked him if he likes me then he just typed this two emoticons : then a then we changed our topic (we were chatting) .

Then sometime this week, me and my friends were talking about him then his guy friend told us that he doesn't open up with them at all, even my friends said the same thing . . I kinda feel flattered when I heard that . . cause one time we talked for almost four hours (in YM) talking about everyone from our class and our experiences about ghost and other stuff , even Kpop!!! we literally talked about everything . . . . ) We get along pretty well when we talk SERIOUSLY but most of the time, we fight cause I always ask him to be nicer to everyone (since he's a snob) .

So my question is, how would I know if he likes me back?

flirt more

talk more

be cute more

then if that doesn't make him make the first move, you just do it and tell him how you feel

if yes.. you're with him

if no.. just try harder to get him to like you or ditch him for another guy

[Guest Where_how]

So I was really good friends with this guy for a while, but he was the listening type since he didn't talk much. So yah he was really nice so i took an interest in him. And he never rejected my invites to hangout. So after winter break, we were good for like first 2 days or so. Then I realized that he would seem like he wanted to get away when we started talking. For example, when I was at his desk, we talked for a while and everything seemed ok, but then he just stood up but didn't go anywhere. I found that really weird like he wanted to get away or something. Then I told him about this guy that I was hanging out with and he asked what his name was and i said his first name. Then he asked for the last name. The whole time while I told him about what we did (it wasn't like dating, it was basically money related), he didn't face me and talked as if he was actually talking to his other friend sitting behind him....And then another time while I was talking to him, he seemed interested at first, then he just faced forward and away from me and took out his music player...so i tried to strike up a convo with him using that. It kinda succeeded cause he showed me his music and stuff...but like i felt it was really weird. It seemed like he either didn't want to talk completely or was interested at first and then makes it like he want the convo to stop after a few min. Oh and before he never rejected my invites to hangout. Now i caught him lying instead of saying no...

So I feel like something is wrong, but i just don't know what. But it feels like he thinks i'm annoying or something, so I decided to just ignore him completely. At the same time that I am ignoring him, I'm scared that I'm interpreting this thing wrong and that I'm being mean and being unreasonable.

Note: I did ask him once if something is wrong with me because he acted weirdly. But he said "nothing is wrong with you" and asked how he was acting weird. Even though he said that i feel like he is lying and something is wrong.

So is my solution to ignore good or bad? i cant think of another alternative because i dont think asking again would help any.

[Guest EmY16]

This is probably, like, my third question here, and I bet the other two are about the same. So here we go: Should I confess my feelings for this guy or not?

Me and this guy have been hanging out more recently; he was an acquaintance only a year ago! Anyways, naturally I've developed feelings for him. I'm not sure if I should tell him my feelings: on one hand, it's our last year together at school and I don't want him to be "the one that got away"; on the other hand, I don't want to make our friendship akward if he rejects me. A friend of mine told me that when they were walking together he started talking about me.

In what way? I don't know. He's a naturally shy guy, so I can't read him. I get the feeling that he isn't interested in anyone, but like I said, he almost defies everything I know about body language, so I can't read him. I don't even know if he wants/likes to be in a relationship, but I really like him and he has proved to be one the sweetest and gentle guys I've ever met. What should I do?

[Guest gingerpeach]

So there's this guy I kind of like. We've always been good acquaintances I guess, we'd talk several times a week whenever we saw each other. But recently we've been talking more often, both in person and on fb. On Monday night we ended up exchanging numbers. (I asked for his # saying it was "for fun" lol). Then to my pleasant surprise, I got a text from him early Tuesday morning. He had just finished getting ready (it was the first day of the new semester) and he was asking if I was awake yet heheh. And since then we've been texting each other the whole week, even up till just now. But you know the thing is, I can't tell if he's just being friendly/nice or if he's interested in me. :/

He's the quiet (& kind of shy) type of guy.. when we first met he never really took the initiative to say hi and talk, so I was always the one who did that. As we talked more and more, I noticed that he would take the initiative sometimes, but even then most of the time I had to approach him first. But the thing is, despite me being the one who has the make the first move so often, I don't really mind because he always seems to respond positively and keep things going. So I figured he likes talking to me too and it's just in his quiet/shy-ish nature not to approach me first.

Now that we've been texting each other these past couple of days, with him being the first to text half the time, I can't help but wonder if he might be a little interested in me too. But gah like I mentioned, it might just be him being nice.. I really can't tell! Is there any way I would be able to tell? I mean I've also flirted with him a few times (in person and through text) but again when he responds I can't tell if he's just being nice or if he's into me. What to dooo.

Any advice at all would be helpful, please. Thank you!

[Guest yangri]

Do the three sizes matter to the guys? And to what extent? I hear talk about guy's ideal numbers, would you go out with wonderful but totally flat girls? Or girls with a huge butt? Sooner or later the clothes are going to come off..

[Guest TuxedoBento]

yangri: What's the third size? I got chest and butt... is the third "height"? I guess we all have our "ideal" sizes (there's like a whole thread on this somewhere). But typically, from what I gather from my buds, we guys tend to like girls that aren't too flat but also not carrying the world(s) on their shoulder (bad for her posture in the future lol), we don't like girls who are too skinny nor too fat, and ideally we like our girls a little shorter than we are but of course not so short it looks like we're violating the law (Final Fantasy XIII anyone? >.>).

lol sooner or later the clothes are going to come off? I like your attitude... lol! 

[Guest michikosashimi]

how often do you guys say i love you to a girl

in a serious relationship. in whatever situation

like on the phone or in person. etc~

[MrPower]

Man, you know you're addicted to soompi when you're online through your phone.. ;;

@michikosashimi? Something about fish...

I don't say I love you unless I truly mean it. In my last relationship, I may have said it three times. Some guys just throw the word around though..

Do the three sizes matter to the guys? And to what extent? I hear talk about guy's ideal numbers, would you go out with wonderful but totally flat girls? Or girls with a huge butt? Sooner or later the clothes are going to come off..

Yes, to some extent, it does matter..

Many guys like an ample chest and a rounded butt... But not all guys are like that

I for instance prefer dating skinny women. However, whether or not she has large/small buttocks/breasts is of no concern to me.

[Guest rebecca520]

THIS IS BECAUSE THEY ARE DULL,  BAD GUYS

[Guest yangri]

@TuxedoBento - Chest, waist, hips.

And I guess I didn't word it well enough, but would it be considered a 'deal breaker'? I'm flatpetite to the point that I think the only men who could be interested in me are probably closet pedophiles. It was forgiveable when I was younger but it's going to have its disadvantages especially now when I'll soon be starting a career, right?

[Guest -Excellence-]

So there's this guy I kind of like. We've always been good acquaintances I guess, we'd talk several times a week whenever we saw each other. But recently we've been talking more often, both in person and on fb. On Monday night we ended up exchanging numbers. (I asked for his # saying it was "for fun" lol). Then to my pleasant surprise, I got a text from him early Tuesday morning. He had just finished getting ready (it was the first day of the new semester) and he was asking if I was awake yet heheh. And since then we've been texting each other the whole week, even up till just now. But you know the thing is, I can't tell if he's just being friendly/nice or if he's interested in me. :/

He's the quiet (& kind of shy) type of guy.. when we first met he never really took the initiative to say hi and talk, so I was always the one who did that. As we talked more and more, I noticed that he would take the initiative sometimes, but even then most of the time I had to approach him first. But the thing is, despite me being the one who has the make the first move so often, I don't really mind because he always seems to respond positively and keep things going. So I figured he likes talking to me too and it's just in his quiet/shy-ish nature not to approach me first.

Now that we've been texting each other these past couple of days, with him being the first to text half the time, I can't help but wonder if he might be a little interested in me too. But gah like I mentioned, it might just be him being nice.. I really can't tell! Is there any way I would be able to tell? I mean I've also flirted with him a few times (in person and through text) but again when he responds I can't tell if he's just being nice or if he's into me. What to dooo.

Any advice at all would be helpful, please. Thank you!

It's hard to tell if he is interested, the fact that he's initiating more can be a sign that he's interested in you. However, it can simply mean that he's just more comfortable opening up to you now since you're no longer acquaintances but now friends. If you don't mind sharing how he responds to your text messages, it'll probably be easier to figure out what he's thinking about.

Not sure if you have done this already but since it seems like most of your interactions are through text messages I would also suggest asking him to hang out (movies, shopping etc) and see how his behavior is.

[Guest TuxedoBento]

@TuxedoBento - Chest, waist, hips.   

And I guess I didn't word it well enough, but would it be considered a 'deal breaker'?  I'm flatpetite to the point that I think the only men who could be interested in me are probably closet pedophiles. It was forgiveable when I was younger but it's going to have its disadvantages especially now when I'll soon be starting a career, right?

Am not a closet pedo... >.>

Seriously, I think most guys focus on face a lot more than bod and petite over uh.. watermelons? lol

[Guest Pinkychan]

do you boys tend to keep old old old emails from other girls thatds said " i miss you" or other flirtaitious or lovy dover stuff for no reason?like you dont want to delete it but at the same time it means nothing to you... mean while you are still dating someone but you still have emails

[Guest TuxedoBento]

Pinkychan: I've kept old emails and gifts from girls in the past. For me at least, it was nice to know a girl could like me so much even though we never got a chance to meet (it was long distance and when we were suppose to meet I got scared and never went). And the emails, letters, and handmade gifts I've kept from my ex... I'm not sure how to explain it. If she were to ask me out tomorrow I'd decline but part of me still misses those days and those feelings. Anyways, hope that answers at least something in the vicinity of what you were asking.

[Guest Pinkychan]

yeahh thanks! but say you were dating a girl right now, would you still go back to them?

would your ecomend her to not worry at all?

[Guest TuxedoBento]

Pinkychan: I wouldn't go back to my ex even if I were single and un-bah-lievably lonely. So no, if I were seeing someone else there wouldn't be any chance of me going back. It's kind of complicated. Sometimes I just like to break out sentimental pieces to play around with. I haven't yet moved onto a new relationship so I can't really say for certain how I'd act or what I'd do. But I think it's just a matter of you believing your boy or not.

Obviously if a boy likes you he's going to ask you not to worry. But I can't say if his heart is truly yours or not. That's for you to decide and find out.

[Guest yulia.]

Hey guys :] there was something bugging me recently, so I might at as well ask the people that know men best.

So the other day, I was sitting down in my school's library doing my work on my laptop since I had a lot of time before the next class. A guy comes to sit a seat next to me because my bags were in the seat next to me (I was sitting at the end). So after about five minutes of silence, I turn to get something from my bag and he says hi to me loudly and randomly. Of course I said hi back but I had a dumbfounded look on my face because I wasn't expecting it.  So the guy was in one of my classes a year ago but I never talked to him, but I "know" him--more like "acquaintances". What does it mean when a guy says hi to you randomly and sits next to you when there are a lot of empty seats? Is he just being friendly? Or trying to initiate a conversation, because after saying hi he didn't say anything afterward and I left awkwardly LOL. It's kind of stupid, but it's been bugging me ever since.

[Guest TuxedoBento]

yulia: Too little info to go by. It could mean anything, it could be pure coincidence, he could be stalking you, if he's asian and you're the only other asian in the class then maybe he just tried to stick to his "kind". lol

I did this last summer too. >.>

I met this girl once through friends and then she was taking extra courses during the summer so she happened to sit in front of me. I said "hi" the first day and kind of just left it at that. The next class we passed notes. Blah blah blah, long story short, we ended up having dinner. Nothing really came of that though. ^^"

[Guest yulia.]

yulia: Too little info to go by. It could mean anything, it could be pure coincidence, he could be stalking you, if he's asian and you're the only other asian in the class then maybe he just tried to stick to his "kind". lol

I did this last summer too. >.>

I met this girl once through friends and then she was taking extra courses during the summer so she happened to sit in front of me. I said "hi" the first day and kind of just left it at that. The next class we passed notes. Blah blah blah, long story short, we ended up having dinner. Nothing really came of that though. ^^"

Thanks for the reply and your experience is too cute! ^^

But nah it's not the asian thing, I live in Hawaii and my school is full of Asians, lmao.

[Guest Pinkychan]

Pinkychan: I wouldn't go back to my ex even if I were single and un-bah-lievably lonely. So no, if I were seeing someone else there wouldn't be any chance of me going back. It's kind of complicated. Sometimes I just like to break out sentimental pieces to play around with. I haven't yet moved onto a new relationship so I can't really say for certain how I'd act or what I'd do. But I think it's just a matter of you believing your boy or not.

Obviously if a boy likes you he's going to ask you not to worry. But I can't say if his heart is truly yours or not. That's for you to decide and find out.

oh i ment go back to the letters and stuff ^^