Ask The Fellas

[Guest l0cke08]

hey guys, sorry if it's a very long post.

well i'm kinda in a situation right now where it makes me really confused. it involves with a guy i met at my friend's birthday months ago. :/

when we were at our friend's birthday party, we didn't get along well at first because he was the last person i met during that time. since it was my first time to go to a bar and wasn't used to dancing with high heels, i rested a lot while finishing my drink at the sideline.. he was also there, finishing his drink and that was where we talked a lot like school and where i met the birthday celebrant, those kind of things... till it was time for us to go. but before that, he asked for my phone and he was the one who saved his number. he even checked it if it's in the contacts and when he couldn't find it, he asked me where his number went. lol (but when i checked my phone the day after, it had like 3 saved numbers with his name. xD)

so he texted me a lot after... i thought he was flirting because who would say that he would text me when he is sad? because i seem to make him laugh or that was what he said. i thought that was weird... hmmm. there was even a time where he even asked me to continue texting him because he was at a party where he didn't really know anyone except the one who invited him.

during the summer, he invited me to go with him and our friends to city events like the Capital Ex(like a carnival/event that only happens during the summer), etc. unfortunately, i couldn't go with them because i was working that time and my cousin from Japan came so we had our own plans for the summer... but i did go to his bball summer league because he invited me to.

and after the summer, this is where he started confusing me.... he started texting less than usual and he seemed become hot and cold towards me. like he would talk to me one day when we see each other at the mall but when i see him after, he wouldn't. he also seemed to reply a lot in texts but when we see each other on our friends' parties, he wouldn't even say anything.. he would just drink but he still makes sure that he's sober enough to drive us home. i don't know if i did something wrong for him to act like that. i just shrugged it off for months because i'm kinda afraid that if i text him, i would just bother him... and till now, i haven't talked to him. texting him right now is definitely impossible because i lost all my contacts.

do you guys think i did something wrong? is there a way to bring back our friendship(if it is called friendship in the first place)? i just feel like i should revive it but i don't know where to start... i don't even know why i feel this way. lol. i just feel like i should. help.

SHORTER VERSION: we were getting along well at first but it started to go down the drain after the summer. i don't know if i did something wrong but i feel like i should revive it somehow but i don't know where to start. so, i need help from you guys. thanks.

[Guest WeEzY]

@l0cke08 - It doesn't really seem like the two of you were friends. Just acquaintances. He probably was testing the friendship to see if you two could be something more when you first met. Asking to hang out and stuff. He probably figure the friendship wasn't going anywhere and got distracted by something else. It's hard to describe his way of thinking. Anyways, you didn't do anything wrong. And there's nothing really to get upset about. Are you feeling lonely or something? I don't see why you would want to revive this relationship. If you still feel the need, you can just take the initiative by talking to him the next time you see him in person. See what's he been up to and move on from there.

[Guest __CHINA.DOLL]

So, the guy I like and I were talking online and..

he asked me what I was going to get him for christmas.

I was wondering if i should get something for him before, but didnt want to because i thought it would be too obvious.

but since he asked, would it be weird if i got him something?? T__T

&&

me: youre no use now..

him: see ya later!

me: … hahah fine! BYE!

_____ is offline and can’t receive messages right now.

_____ is now online.

me: real mature of you!!

him: oh huh?? i thought you were finished talking to me that’s weird…

me: …. fine then! ~

him: that’s better

----

i know this is pretty immature .. but we stopped talking the whole night after, i'm starting to feel bad, if you were him would you guys rather have the girl say something first or would you rather be the first to say something back?

[Guest xSHADOW]

Okay...so I made out with one of my friends twice, at two different parties. The second time he was sober though and right before he left he said "I don't want to take advantage of you".

We ended up talking two days later and he wasn't awkward about it at all. I told him to keep it on the DL and he has so does that make me seem that I don't want anything relationship wise with him?

As a guy, what would be going through your head?

Now onto a different story...there's this guy that I've liked and he never told me but I found he was dating this girl and they became like official recently. Before I found out, he was with that girl at the same concert I was at so he called me over and we "danced". If the girl you supposedly liked was right there, why would you dance/grind with another girl? Furthermore we're in the same co-ed fraternity and we're pseudo bigs/littles, does that mean he only sees me as like a sister/good friend?

[Guest dazzIe]

My boyfriend gave me his favorite/first childhood toy/teddybear as a thoughtful present. Does this mean anything?

[Guest Hard candy]

Do you still check out other girls when in relationship? we saw this pretty girl today And he was looking at her, or maybe her style then again i was thinking inside wow she is pretty.. but idk he was keep glancing a bit and I was pretty jealous, maybe its normal thing for guys to still check out other girls just for eye candy? or it isnt? I check out other guys but not in like omg i want to date him, just like ohh he got cool style or cute face. ughhh who knows lol

[MrPower]

So, the guy I like and I were talking online and..

he asked me what I was going to get him for christmas.

I was wondering if i should get something for him before, but didnt want to because i thought it would be too obvious.

----

i know this is pretty immature .. but we stopped talking the whole night after, i'm starting to feel bad, if you were him would you guys rather have the girl say something first or would you rather be the first to say something back?

I would rather have her say something cute.

Okay...so I made out with one of my friends twice, at two different parties. The second time he was sober though and right before he left he said "I don't want to take advantage of you".

We ended up talking two days later and he wasn't awkward about it at all. I told him to keep it on the DL and he has so does that make me seem that I don't want anything relationship wise with him?

As a guy, what would be going through your head?

Now onto a different story...there's this guy that I've liked and he never told me but I found he was dating this girl and they became like official recently. Before I found out, he was with that girl at the same concert I was at so he called me over and we "danced". If the girl you supposedly liked was right there, why would you dance/grind with another girl? Furthermore we're in the same co-ed fraternity and we're pseudo bigs/littles, does that mean he only sees me as like a sister/good friend?

1. for me, it makes it seem like you take care of your public image.

2. No. Hell no. That doesn't change anything for most guys. anything goes.

My boyfriend gave me his favorite/first childhood toy/teddybear as a thoughtful present. Does this mean anything?

Hell yeah it means something. He gave you something that brought the fondest of memories as a child. Assuming that he isn't lying about it, it looks like he's into you.

Do you still check out other girls when in relationship? we saw this pretty girl today And he was looking at her, or maybe her style then again i was thinking inside wow she is pretty.. but idk he was keep glancing a bit and I was pretty jealous, maybe its normal thing for guys to still check out other girls just for eye candy? or it isnt? I check out other guys but not in like omg i want to date him, just like ohh he got cool style or cute face. ughhh who knows lol

No, but I've noticed a lot of my acquaintances do.

Most guys are pigs. they can't help but stare at the girls. It doesn't mean they want to break up a relationship though.

[Guest alcaline.]

What's the best way to reject a guy? A friend's friend likes me (I know this because my friend makes it so obvious ) and he's been talking to me a lot recently as a friend and whatnot, but I feel like he's gonna try and take it up a step soon, but I don't want to reject him too harshly. So basically, I'm asking if there's anything I can do to try and clue the guy in, that I'm not interested, without having to come to flat out rejecting him.

[MrPower]

What's the best way to reject a guy? A friend's friend likes me (I know this because my friend makes it so obvious ) and he's been talking to me a lot recently as a friend and whatnot, but I feel like he's gonna try and take it up a step soon, but I don't want to reject him too harshly. So basically, I'm asking if there's anything I can do to try and clue the guy in, that I'm not interested, without having to come to flat out rejecting him.

How to reject without actually rejecting...

Don't spend time with him, don't respond to him. Give plain one worded answers if possible..

Talk about the guy you like (that definitely isn't him) ...

[Guest lilazn]

So there's this guy in my class that I found to be super charming, and so at school in the halls one day I decided to say hi while I was passing by. I was pretty sure he'd remember me because our lectures are so small. He said hi back, and ever since that time hes been the one initiating to say hi to me everytime he sees me. I was on the phone one time and he saw me from a distance and waved and I wasn't sure if it was him or not so I walked a little closer and he was already walking away. I said 'Hi ______' and he turned around and said 'Just making sure you saw me.'It was awkward cause I had nothing to say after and just waved and walk away. One time he was sitting at a coffee place like Starbucks in our school and was talking to another girl, and he saw me coming and stopped talking to her and turned towards my direction to talk to me. Does any of this mean anything? I really like him but I think he's just being friendly...should I try talking to him more? =(

[Guest Nuky]

So there's this guy in my class that I found to be super charming, and so at school in the halls one day I decided to say hi while I was passing by. I was pretty sure he'd remember me because our lectures are so small. He said hi back, and ever since that time hes been the one initiating to say hi to me everytime he sees me. I was on the phone one time and he saw me from a distance and waved and I wasn't sure if it was him or not so I walked a little closer and he was already walking away. I said 'Hi ______' and he turned around and said 'Just making sure you saw me.'It was awkward cause I had nothing to say after and just waved and walk away. One time he was sitting at a coffee place like Starbucks in our school and was talking to another girl, and he saw me coming and stopped talking to her and turned towards my direction to talk to me. Does any of this mean anything? I really like him but I think he's just being friendly...should I try talking to him more? =(

sounds like he's either being overly friendly or he's taken an interest in you. if you like him, talk to him more often then. talking is good, initiates more connection between the two of you.

[Guest xo_sugar_ox]

Is it easy to detect hints from girls that are trying to hint their interest or attraction?

Because I sent a friendly(not flirty) message to a guy on facebook, and we aren't really that close. We are just aquaintances. So if a girl you're not really close friends with starts talking to you out of nowhere, would you think she's got a crush on you?

After that, he was friendly and talkative when we bumped into each other in school, but a couple of days later he stopped responding to my message. Does that mean he believes I am attracted to him but is trying to give me a hint that he is not interested? What should I do? haha

Sorry, this is kind of confusing.

[Guest Ileikturtles]

So there's this guy in my class that I found to be super charming, and so at school in the halls one day I decided to say hi while I was passing by. I was pretty sure he'd remember me because our lectures are so small. He said hi back, and ever since that time hes been the one initiating to say hi to me everytime he sees me. I was on the phone one time and he saw me from a distance and waved and I wasn't sure if it was him or not so I walked a little closer and he was already walking away. I said 'Hi ______' and he turned around and said 'Just making sure you saw me.'It was awkward cause I had nothing to say after and just waved and walk away. One time he was sitting at a coffee place like Starbucks in our school and was talking to another girl, and he saw me coming and stopped talking to her and turned towards my direction to talk to me. Does any of this mean anything? I really like him but I think he's just being friendly...should I try talking to him more? =(

Well, it sounds like he's definitely interested in being at least more than friends . Anyways, if you're also interested, I believe that you should go ask him out to "grab a bite" or "catch a movie" or something and test the waters. At worst, he'll just want to be friends, but hey, that's at least a new friend that seems to be genuinely interested .

[Guest Fatalchange]

I've liked my friend for about six years now (started in like fourth grade >.<). Even though we've never dated, I consider him my first love. Unfortunately, this year, we're going to different schools. This is the first time since we've became friends. However, I was able to see him last Thursday because my school had a home game against his school's basketball team. I didn't realize how much I missed and loved him until I saw him play. Well, I only got to talk to him for a second after the game(he gave me a hug teehee ^///^) After that, I decided I didn't want everything to end...so I started texting him. Today, we were talking and we got into the subject of the game. I might be overlooking things a bit too much...but I was really happy when he told me he was able to recognize me in the crowd[the area where his team was sitting was all the way on the otherside of the court too ]...especially since he wasn't able to notice our other friends around me But anyway, my question is...after six years of trying...is there even any hope? I would think...that if I couldn't get his attention within those 6 years...there's no way I could suddenly have a chance...If you had a friend who's had a crush on you for years[you didn't have mutual feelings or anything]...would there be anything they could do to get you to think of them more than just a friend?

[Guest legweak17]

This forum really helpful, thanks for answering in advance guys :] 

I like shy guys, and a lot of them confuse me lol.  I'm wondering that if a shy guy likes a girl, will he ask her out after a little while? or are shy guys just too shy to do that when they're around/ talking with a girl they like? 

[Guest Jyum]

I've liked my friend for about six years now (started in like fourth grade >.<). Even though we've never dated, I consider him my first love. Unfortunately, this year, we're going to different schools. This is the first time since we've became friends. However, I was able to see him last Thursday because my school had a home game against his school's basketball team. I didn't realize how much I missed and loved him until I saw him play. Well, I only got to talk to him for a second after the game(he gave me a hug teehee ^///^) After that, I decided I didn't want everything to end...so I started texting him. Today, we were talking and we got into the subject of the game. I might be overlooking things a bit too much...but I was really happy when he told me he was able to recognize me in the crowd[the area where his team was sitting was all the way on the otherside of the court too ]...especially since he wasn't able to notice our other friends around me But anyway, my question is...after six years of trying...is there even any hope? I would think...that if I couldn't get his attention within those 6 years...there's no way I could suddenly have a chance...If you had a friend who's had a crush on you for years[you didn't have mutual feelings or anything]...would there be anything they could do to get you to think of them more than just a friend?

Once you tell him, an idea will form in his head, much like inception....i'm not taking this lightly It's very true that people tend to like people when they know that they like them. Like what happened with me was, my friends made me realize i liked my ex, i never thought about it that way at all until they said "it seems you like her, and that she likes you" and it got me thinking...for a really long time until i couldn't handle it and confessed to her.

This forum really helpful, thanks for answering in advance guys :] 

I like shy guys, and a lot of them confuse me lol.  I'm wondering that if a shy guy likes a girl, will he ask her out after a little while? or are shy guys just too shy to do that when they're around/ talking with a girl they like? 

depends on how shy they are, like some people are just shy at meeting new people in the beginning, or shy with opening up to people, if he's just shy at the beginning like wouldn't approach you first, once you approach him and get to know him and he becomes comfortable he'll open up like an automatic door. But the latter, where he's shy in opening up to people, he's probably friendly and out going with people but doesn't show his true feelings (people don't seem to see this as shy, but i do)

I'm a shy guy, i'm not the NORM but i'll give you an example, with my ex it took me 3-4 months to confess to her, after i realized i liked her. but it was because we were friends and would hang out a lot so i didn't feel the need/desire to be with her, because i was kind of with her...? like always talking and what not

[Guest pashi]

Hi I'm new here! So I met this guy about a month ago. The first day I met him, he approached me at school and we started to talk. We talked about my college plans, life, and all that good stuff. He couldn't believe me when I told him that I never had a boyfriend. The next few days, I would see him all the time when I've never seen him around before. He would smile and we would have short conversations whenever I saw him around school. He would joke around with me and try to hang out but I always had plans already made so we never got a chance to. I'm beginning to have a thing for him. But, recently, I don't see him as much anymore, and when I do, I can barely say hello. I would talk to him more, but I don't have his number or his msn...and we don't exactly run in the same life circle, so I hardly ever see him. Did he ever have a thing for me? and what should I do so I can talk with him more without sounding desperate since we never see each other?

[Guest legweak17]

Okay, thanks Jyum!  You helped clear things up a little bit for me

[Guest RICEDUCK]

There's this guy I like and we flirt , he keeps asking me who's my chop but then he talks about this other girl too :/ .

On msn yesterday

me: youre such a baby!

him: youre my baby!

ahaha

me: im not a baby ):

him: youre mine

me: roofl

-

should I get my hopes up? D:

[Guest mszcrystal]

How can you guys go from being so certain you want to be with one girl to having no feelings left for her at all in a matter of like 3 weeks? ):

please explain to me ):