Would your parents understand if you don't want kids?

[green papaya]

Meany-chan said:
lolaleatherwhip said: Umm, no. My mum always tells me I'd regret my decision when I become really old and have no children or grandchildren. She says I'll be missing out on a certain type of happiness or joy that you experience when seeing your children and grandchildren grow up. Meh. Don't know about my dad though; we don't really talk about this stuff *shrugs* I don't know, just the thought of pushing babies out of my wooha terrifies me. I'd opt for adoption though.

[Guest 500]

I wonder how many people here are guys.......it just seems to me that most girls nowadays expect their future family consist of only the couple, with a pet, or perhaps an adopted child, living happily for the rest of their lives.
Despite the fact that i think kids are part of a family, i think most asian guys' parents would not support not having grandchildren. It's simple, passing on the family line has always been important for asian families. For girls' parents, they tend to care about their daughter's feelings and etc, besides, their daughter can't carry on the family line anyways. But imagine for guys' parents.... they tend to think that their son is the best man and deserves a good wife who's willing to carry on the family line. Nothing personal here, i'm just trying to point out how the society is.
Btw, many girls claim that they don't like kids cuz they are annoying, takes alot of efforts to raise, etc, yet they don't mind having a pet or adopted child? Is walking a dog everyday and cleaning up their pee/poops less effort than playing with your own child? I guess deep down you're just afraid of giving birth. There's nothing wrong about it, but try to know yourself better.

[oryxncrake]

I don't think they can even fathom me having kids (I don't want them anyway). Being an adult, I'm so dependent on others right now and it's  not going to change anytime soon. I can't imagine having another person being dependent on me, ever.

[halfmoonsmile]

@500

Are you intentionally trying to make the females of Soompi angry? While some of us may change our minds about childbirth as we get older, some of us have very good reasons for not wanting children.

I have personally been interested in animals all my life so obviously I would want lots of pets. Animals are very self-sufficient compared to human children. And I completely with what intotheblue says. These are our bodies. We can do whatever we please with them and you're telling us to know ourselves better? Really? That's all I want to say.

[green papaya]

I heard marriage and having children is not as popular in modern times, more people are choosing to not get married or have any children

sometimes I see certain young asians like [hmong] or hispanics that look around 18 - 25 and they already have two - four children? I wonder how they can afford it? the father must be a professional or they get some form of government hand outs / welfare? food stamps? EBT cards, etc

I doubt the husband is a professional at that age, so they must be getting help from somebody? or still live with their family.

if you need to get government hand outs you have no business having kids

[x_intotheblue_x]

500 said: I wonder how many people here are guys.......it just seems to me that most girls nowadays expect their future family consist of only the couple, with a pet, or perhaps an adopted child, living happily for the rest of their lives.
Despite the fact that i think kids are part of a family, i think most asian guys' parents would not support not having grandchildren. It's simple, passing on the family line has always been important for asian families. For girls' parents, they tend to care about their daughter's feelings and etc, besides, their daughter can't carry on the family line anyways. But imagine for guys' parents.... they tend to think that their son is the best man and deserves a good wife who's willing to carry on the family line. Nothing personal here, i'm just trying to point out how the society is.
Btw, many girls claim that they don't like kids cuz they are annoying, takes alot of efforts to raise, etc, yet they don't mind having a pet or adopted child? Is walking a dog everyday and cleaning up their pee/poops less effort than playing with your own child? I guess deep down you're just afraid of giving birth. There's nothing wrong about it, but try to know yourself better.

[Guest 500]

Meany-chan said: @500

Are you intentionally trying to make the females of Soompi angry? While some of us may change our minds about childbirth as we get older, some of us have very good reasons for not wanting children.

I have personally been interested in animals all my life so obviously I would want lots of pets. Animals are very self-sufficient compared to human children. And I completely with what intotheblue says. These are our bodies. We can do whatever we please with them and you're telling us to know ourselves better? Really? That's all I want to say.

[Guest 500]

x_intotheblue_x said: 500 said: I wonder how many people here are guys.......it just seems to me that most girls nowadays expect their future family consist of only the couple, with a pet, or perhaps an adopted child, living happily for the rest of their lives.
Despite the fact that i think kids are part of a family, i think most asian guys' parents would not support not having grandchildren. It's simple, passing on the family line has always been important for asian families. For girls' parents, they tend to care about their daughter's feelings and etc, besides, their daughter can't carry on the family line anyways. But imagine for guys' parents.... they tend to think that their son is the best man and deserves a good wife who's willing to carry on the family line. Nothing personal here, i'm just trying to point out how the society is.
Btw, many girls claim that they don't like kids cuz they are annoying, takes alot of efforts to raise, etc, yet they don't mind having a pet or adopted child? Is walking a dog everyday and cleaning up their pee/poops less effort than playing with your own child? I guess deep down you're just afraid of giving birth. There's nothing wrong about it, but try to know yourself better.

[Guest severus]

I plan on adopting one from China, they'll never know the difference.

A watermelon under the shirt should suffice for skype calls during the "pregnancy".

[x_intotheblue_x]

500 said: x_intotheblue_x said: 500 said: I wonder how many people here are guys.......it just seems to me that most girls nowadays expect their future family consist of only the couple, with a pet, or perhaps an adopted child, living happily for the rest of their lives.
Despite the fact that i think kids are part of a family, i think most asian guys' parents would not support not having grandchildren. It's simple, passing on the family line has always been important for asian families. For girls' parents, they tend to care about their daughter's feelings and etc, besides, their daughter can't carry on the family line anyways. But imagine for guys' parents.... they tend to think that their son is the best man and deserves a good wife who's willing to carry on the family line. Nothing personal here, i'm just trying to point out how the society is.
Btw, many girls claim that they don't like kids cuz they are annoying, takes alot of efforts to raise, etc, yet they don't mind having a pet or adopted child? Is walking a dog everyday and cleaning up their pee/poops less effort than playing with your own child? I guess deep down you're just afraid of giving birth. There's nothing wrong about it, but try to know yourself better.

[Guest miga2010]

My mom doesn't really mind if I don't want kids. For me, the ideal would be one child. If my future husband really wants another one, then 2. No more than 2 for sure though

[Guest pleiadian]

Not having kids for now, or for ever? let's say you are in our 70's. Who is going to look after you, then? That's a scary though lol...

[green papaya]

pleiadian said: Not having kids for now, or for ever? let's say you are in our 70's. Who is going to look after you, then? That's a scary though lol...

[halfmoonsmile]

pleiadian said: Not having kids for now, or for ever? let's say you are in our 70's. Who is going to look after you, then? That's a scary though lol...

[x_intotheblue_x]

pleiadian said: Not having kids for now, or for ever? let's say you are in our 70's. Who is going to look after you, then? That's a scary though lol...

[Guest hhelibebc]

I honestly can't tell. When I tell them I'm not interested they say that's fine, but in the tone that you can tell they don't really believe me. Like 'it's just a phase'. :/

[Guest kayara<3]

When I was younger and said that I didn't want kids, my parents were all "yeah, that's fine, good for you" etc etc. But now I'm nearly 24... the last time I was home my mum and I were talking about family and whatnot, and whilst I've softened up a lot on the idea of children, I mentioned that there's still a real possibility that I won't have kids. My mum didn't say much one way or the other, but I got the impression that she wasn't as "good on you" as she used to be. I've also noticed that my parents have become friends with some of the neighbors on their street, many of whom have young children, and seeing them interact  was so cute (especially my dad... my dad has that weird quality where kids absolutely adore him). I know now that they'd be very, very happy grandparents, and there are times when I wish that I could give that to them asap. But if it happens, it'll happen when I'm well and truly ready. There are enough incompetent parents and unwanted children in the world already. I refuse to take even the smallest risk of contributing to that statistic.

[Guest nana544]

Yeah I think they would.
They are open-minded and usually trust that I make the right decision
so whether I have children or not, they would be happy either way.

[KrisGumLeong]

First of all, I totally agree with green papaya's post. No, my parents really don't understand that I don't want children or my own. My grandparents neither, but they don't know the REAL reason why, which I'll explain here. I grew up with the typical traditional asian household where my parents basically physically and emotionally abused each other for 25 years. It has gotten better now that I'm 31, but the damage has been done. Also, I basically helped my mom out with taking care of my two younger brothers when I was 4-16 years old because she never really learned how to be a better stay-at-home mom. That is why I feel like I never really enjoyed my childhood and I wouldn't want to bring kids into the world when I have to commit almost my whole life to them. It's hard to go against tradition, but I know myself and they can't change that.

[Guest dannynguyen619_at_gmail.com_stv]

Your parents can't tell you what to do if you're 18 or older