ever been molested and can't tell anyone?

[Guest Lilaaa]

why someone would post their personal story here, is beyond me.

[Guest Amanda Plz]

^

To let it out, share experiences, and express relief in not being alone in being a victim to mini cooper like this? As you can read, it's hard talking about what's happened, even with family members. Sometimes it's better to just go ahead and tell because that helps with some of the pain.

[Guest Taeyang18]

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww that's very sad i feel your pain....

[Guest jiraffe]

I read a lot of your guys' stories and I feel really bad =/. It's crazy how it seems like it's always the uncle or the older cousin. Like wtf. It surprises me that some say that after they were molested/ raped, they didn't speak up. That makes me wonder, if I were ever to be molested/raped (hopefully not), would I speak up? Because I see myself as someone who would.. no matter how embarrassing/ traumatizing. At least tell a close friend! Or a teacher. It's so bad to keep it locked up inside, that can be really painful.

Well, I have my own story. It's definitely not traumatic at all, but I didn't understand what could have come out of it if I had... Well, let me just tell the story.

When I was 4/5 years old, I was at the doctors office (it's a really small one, for old Asian people) waiting to be called in for a check- up (yeah, he's my doc., too -__-). I got bored so I told my parents I was gona sit on the steps outside for a bit. I was all alone and I was just swinging around on the railings and suddenly an old Asian man pulled up onto the edge of the driveway. He rolled down his window and he started smiling at me, and he was holding some candy in his hand motioning for me to come over to him. I didn't think of what could have possibly happened, because I truly didn't know. But I simply shook my head and dashed back inside to my family.

It wasn't until I was around age 10 that that memory suddenly resurfaced after I saw something on the news. I was a little freaked because I thought, richard simmons, if I had gone over there, anything could have happened. It's very unlikely that he just wanted to give me candy. Iunno.. he could have molested me and drove off, or he could have kidnapped me and drove off with me. God... I'm 16 now and sometimes I still think about that incident.

I hope all those b*tches get caught and rot in jail.

[Guest SimplySwt^.^]

why someone would post their personal story here, is beyond me.

why not? just like crying, expressing yourself and letting it out actually helps the person since it lets them know no matter what they aren't alone. Have you ever heard the saying "Cry it all out, you'll feel better" this is basically the same situation, letting people know and stop letting it bottle up inside of you, so it doesnt start slowly eat away at you.

Why would you keep your mouth shut? The people that molested others obviously want you to keep your mouths closed, so why would you play to their liking?

If you're worried about "why would someone(that's well known in the SOOMPI community) tell their embarrassing story here? they can always make a new account and post their story to let it out..it really makes no difference...

[Guest Greene]

Holy crap. The same thing is happening to me now . I know what you mean about how it's screwing you up in the inside. It's doing that to me now. My dad works a lot so I don't see him a lot but when I do? I ignore him. I hide in my room. Hell, I don't even talk to him.

Ever since I was 13 he's been staring at me in such a way but I usually told myself that I'm imagining it. Ha. Yeah. Me running around the house playing with my sisters with my father staring at my bouncing chest. I'm completely imagining it. It's gotten worse though. My mom told me that they were having marital problems (he wants sex, but she doesn't feel comfortable doing it in this apartment where EVERYONE can hear them) and he took that as a sign to start staring at me more.

He touched my butt the other day when we were shopping and carressed my face when my mom wanted him to help her adjust my glasses. I hate him. I hate him so much. I can't wait to move and just get away from it all. It's getting so intense now though that I think my mom is catching the looks he's been giving me. I try not to be alone with him EVER, so I think that helps too.

But honestly...I don't know what to do. I'm in the same boat as you are. I'm so sorry that it's happening to you as well though.

Just when I was starting to regret posting my story, you posted yours. Thanks, it made me feel a LOT better, knowing I'm not alone in this nightmare I can almost cry, haha. I'm sorry that it's happening to you too. I'm here if you need to talk *hug*

[Guest FruityDoody]

These stories are hella saddd!!!! I can't believe this actually happens, especially with family members. Geeee... this goes to show how F*cked up the world really is.

[Guest xTwilight]

why someone would post their personal story here, is beyond me.

Better than cutting yourself out of depression.

[Guest flyxme.]

this isnt really traumatizing but kinda freaky

so when i was little maybe 5 or 6

my relatives took me swimming at the pool

and my cousin piggy backed me to the deep end

and we met this girl the same age as my cousin

so we were gonna play together

and shes following behind us while i was still on

my cousins back and she starts fiddling with

the underwear part of my bathing suit and like rubbing

i still remember this very clearly T__T

[pokeman]

Since i'm in a all boys school, some guy fondled with my goods while i was walking down the stairs...and i get my butt slapped quite often

[Guest ephemeral.]

Excuse my poor and vulgar language, but...

Those h*rny b*stards need to die get caught and get what they deserve at the least. Seriously.

Ruining lives of many people for their own pleasure, that's just sick.

After reading 28 pages about these situations, I need a punching bag.

I feel tension building up upon me, I need to let it out somehow.

The ones who went through these, you've got my support and deepest compassion, although we're strangers.

I'm one of the more lucky ones who've been taught self-defence, and am really protected by my family.

I shall keep my guards on more now. :/

[edrianisawesome]

I decided to delete this post, it is too revealing !

[Guest lilyrose]

Wow, this thread is brutal. I want to send out a big hug to all of you who are survivors of abuse. Please remember that you are a survivor, not a victim, and your strength in coming here and talking about the horrors you have suffered is amazing. I hope that you are all seeking help, though--therapy, support system, or anything that will give you better shots at healing your wounds. Write out a list of all that you want to do to empower yourself. Oftentimes the feeling of helplessness is the worst feeling of all, because it lingers with you forever. Think of ways to make yourself feel like a superhero so that you--YOU--can protect the young child version that was not protected as it should have been. My best to you all.

To Greene and Anachu, do you have family members or friends or relatives you feel safe with and to whom you can go confide? You MUST tell someone about your father looking at you. What he is doing is wrong. What you need is to feel like you can and will be protected. Speaking out can be hard but sometimes it is the best thing you can do because you can look back and say that you stood up for yourself.

Greene, it is WRONG of your mother to say that you should get used to people looking at you because you are growing up. That's wrong! Your mother is trying to blame you. It is not your fault. Growing up a normal and healthy part of life, and that does not give your father or anyone the right to sexualize you or to make you feel ashamed of your body.

REMEMBER, IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. You have the right to live in peace in your home, you have the right to have a safe home, you have a right to expect your family to take care of you and to protect you. Those are your rights.

Empower yourself and if all else fails and you are in the U.S., call child protective services or talk to a teacher or go to a counselor. Be strong.

Quick Edit: I work as a counselor and have training, so let me know if you want books you can read, etc. One "concept" for therapy is called Healing the Inner Child. Here, you go to the place of the abuse in your mind and you try to comfort, as an adult, the scared young version of you. therapy takes time, but it is worth it. AGAIN--please, please, please, even if you are scared, TALK TO SOMEONE. You are your own best friend, and at the end of the day, only you can stand up for yourself.

[Guest AzNMiss x3]

Around December of last year, my cousin & I were walking home from target(5-10min walk). It was around 5:30-6:00pm although it was still getting dark. As we were crossing this street, this guy from the opposite side of the street(to our left) was walking to the same block we were going to. He was about a few feet away from us as we were walking. I felt a little uneasy, nervous & scared but I was too afraid to look behind me. I had this gut feeling that something bad was about to happen so I told my cousin(who isn't scared of anything) to look behind us. She just told me keep walking & that no one is following us & continued to listen to music. About a few feet away from turning the block, my cousin out of no where shouted, "WTF!". & I felt something tap my right arm which I think it was my cousin's arm hitting me when she turned around. I turned around & saw this guy(looked like a teen) holding his crap & touching himself & everything dripping to the floor. As my cousin started shouting I freaked out & started running home(one blocks away). I know it was bad to do that but I was just so scared I didn't know what to do. Then I started yelling at my cousin to run. After she yelled at him, he just simply turned around & walked away. As my cousin was running to me, she started calling the police but for some reason her phone wouldn't let her! So we ran to my grandma's house because I was too scared to unlock the door to my house. Then we called the police, they came & filed a report. It took them 30 minutes to get here :/.

Basically, that guy either touched/grabbed her butt or poked it with his thing. Sick bastard, hope he dies. It made even worse when I realized that, it happened on a semi-busy street, by my house, that guy was in his teens, & there was a car passing by us at that time(neighbor) who really did nothing. But I guess I can't blame them. Also while at my grandma's house, I started wondering why would that guy cross the street just so he can walk up the same way he was walking from. I should have trusted my gut feelings.

Scarred for the rest of my life, it was the sickest thing I've ever seen.

[Guest mango-iee]

I feel so sorry for those who had been molested by their cousin, grandparents, teacher, etc. But bravo to you all who are confident to continue life and share your story here and I'm gonna do the same:

It was around last year July, where the weather was really getting on my nerve. My 3 cousins, a couple of his & my friends, and I was at the beach without our parents. I was 15 at that time, and my 3 cousins are 3-5 years older than I am. We were playing in the water and we played tag, ran, joking with each other with dirty jokes and stuff, and we touch each other playfully too. My friend accidentally trip me while I was running and then I twist my angel. My oldest cousin, pretend to be nice, came over to me, and twist it back and forth to test if it hurts or not. He then asked me to sit near a bench near a shop. He treated me to soda and hot dogs. I was busy eating so I didn't pay attention much. I notice that he kept on staring at my breast and then my legs...after that, he slowly touch my thigh. I ask him what he was doing, he said you got sand on your leg so I was just trying to get it off. I was like, alright, he was just being a nice cousin. And then he got more pervert. He put his arms around my waist, accidentally touch my breast cause he was trying to reach for something on my side...and stuff. On the ride home, I could feel his hands going through my skirt... ...and going up to wear my bra was...and going in the front... We were sitting at the back and everyone was having fun, talking and stuff so no one really notice us two...That was the most uncomfortable 5 hour with my cousin. I didn't tell anyone though. T_T

[Guest geishaOo]

I think it's worst when people do not believe in personal stories of victimization, because then the person would reflect on that and start to self-doubt and feel even more vulnerable. Even if it's repressed, the hurt feelings are trying to be made aware of to oneself. I think self-knowledge is the best medicine because acceptance can lead to forgiveness and healing. It's really brave for all of you to express it. Please continue to have faith in yourselves.

I have my own story. Before I was a teen, I used to wake up in the middle of the night from nightmares, which to me is unusual because I was a heavy sleeper. (My grandmother told me that I'd fall onto the floor in my sleep, otherwise I wouldn't have known.) Apparently, my unconscious mind was trying to tell me something. I finally found out the reason for this negative affect. I awoke in the middle of the night and this time with someone's finger in my mouth. I choked and coughed while the person turned to the other side of the bed. Remembering who I had gone to bed with, I blacked out from the thought. My mom had asked me to sleep with her that night since my dad wasn't coming home from business. That night gave me a flashback of an earlier time when I was bedridden with a fever and I woke up to her face hovering over me, and had also blacked out in an instant. I remember I had a nightmare. I know it's vague and it hurt me to uncover the truth. Now I'm old enough to realize her disgusting fetish. I used to be angry because I didn't know what to do or how to understand it. It was creepy for me because I was taken advantage of against my awareness. It was an unforgettable experience and ironically, it was from my unconscious memory.

Knowledge is power. Be true to yourself. You have a better purpose in life.

[Guest ameeii]

aww i'm so sorry to hear that. that's scary

i used to, by my dad when i was younger he used to always force me and if i didn't he'd go crazy and start hitting me and when i told my

mom she started saying this like "you're such a f****** liar, you useless girl i want you to move out when you're 17!! " and so now i'm sixteen

and i live with my best friend.

[Guest Aimeelicious]

Oh my God I can't believe it's happened to so many of us. Some people are just disgusting beings. Why your own family members would do that sort of thing to you is beyone me. I am here to share my story too... So here goes.

My grandmother and I used to live with her sister family; they had a son so I guess that makes him my 1st cousin once removed of whatever. Anyway we moved in with them when I was 6, and this guy was 14. Right from the beginning he used to touch me and stuff, and he used to make it sound like it was some sort of game. Then gradually he started raping me; it happened pretty much every day for the 3 years I was there, since my gran used to go to the market and everyone else was at work/school early so it was just me and him at home in the morning. In the beginning I used to fight back, but he would always win. Nasty richard simmons is that he never ever once gave up, he wouldn't go away without what he wanted. And so in the end I used to just let him do it, I mean, after fighting every morning for months and get hurt anyway eventually, you just gotta give up. One thing that I still remember till this day is how much it hurt when he broke my hymen [i'm sorry to be so graphic, but at 6 years of age I hadn't exactly experienced that sort of pain before. I didn't know what it was at the time, but when I was older I finally learnt what caused the pain]

One time his mother caught him and told him to stop, I was really glad, but as it turned out he didn't listen to her. Then when I was 9 we could finally afford a place so we moved and I was so glad to get away from there. But being close, my gran used to take me back to their house and he used to come visit regularly so once again I was wrong to think I'd escaped him. Then when I turned 11 we rented our house out for kids at this nearby boarding school so they could have a place for lunch. While they were at our place my gran once again took me to his house; this was everyday, and the nightmare would start again.

Thankfully when I was 12, I moved to the UK and finally I could be sure that I wouldn't be abused by him again. When I left the country, no one knew what happened. Then my grandmother decided to read the diary I'd kept [and foolishly left behind], so she found out about it. Later when she spoke to me on the phone she would say it was my fault and if it did happen he probably just touched me a few times and that I imagined the rest. She must have told my mom as well, but she never mentioned anything to me. Probably doesn't believe me either then. I came back to my country to visit a couple of times and he is still acting like nothing ever happened. What makes me so mad is that he is seen by everyone in the family as the model child: smart, good career etc when in fact he is a monster inside. He recently just married and now has a child - this thought really really makes me SICK to my stomach. In fact, just thinking about him right now is giving me this revolting taste at the back of my throat.

Paedophiles and rapists should be tied up, then have their penis cut off and force fed to them. Then die the most horribly painful death ever.

Thank you so much for reading my long story. Funny how a group of people who I have never met will probably believe my story rather than my own flesh and blood

xxx

[Guest EmpsTreenee]

i've been molested too many times -.- even once is too many. whenever i'm in crowded space i feel like hands all over me. it sucks so bad. especially because i intern at LexisNexis. and they're elevator is always crowded. and i'm not talking about just accidental touching. like people squeezing my butt and chest -.- and hugging me from behind. and i cant even tell who it was. i told my best friend about this. but i cant really do anything about it. i started taking the stairs . it's only on the 4th floor. so it isnt that bad. the only pain is that i have to be in heels all the time. its part of the uniform. ---.-

EDIT: omg. i just read the post above mine O.O.... i'm glad that didnt happen to me... >.< i'm sorry >.<. you should have reported him.

[Guest mayoh]

This... I've never told anyone before.

When i was little, around 6, 7 or 8 years old, we had this "family friend". He was my uncle's friend from work, they worked together at this car repair shop and he would come over some times and he was pretty close with everyone else. But he always scared me. I remember when my mom was out one day, he was over with my uncle working on a car outside. I hid inside for the rest of the time he was over. My room was right next to the door too, so whenever he'd walk in, I'd be extra quiet and hide in the closet or something. That's just how scared of him I was.

Once after a doctor's appointment, my mom drove to their shop because, i actually dont know why. I was sitting in the passenger seat and waiting. He got into the driver's seat and i got really uncomfortable. I remember only being able to see the dashboard, that's how small i was back then. And he was all questioning me, "you went to the doctor? ohhhh~" and then he'd reach over and start touching my chest for no reason o_______o. I told him to stop but he just kept going. I dont know where my mom was at this moment.

A few years later, he was over at one of my family's friends house. I was there too for this party. He saw me and i was just about to go into the house when he was leaving. He grabbed me and sorta held me over the railing and was shaking me. I told him to stop, and he was saying, "i'm trying to get pennies out of you!" So weird i swear. I was about to cry too.

I remember once at my old, old house, my mom & uncle joked around saying that that guy told them, he'd adopt me if he could O_____O. I got freaked out. I havent seen him in years, but whenever i hear his name, i just get goosebumps and my heart beat begins to quicken.