Religion And Relationships

[grainsofrain]

I don't think I could with somebody who's hardcore in their religion (ie. hardcore mormon/christians).

I'd prefer someone neutral or someone who doesn't really have religion play a part in the life.

I'm agnostic and my previous experience was that he was Catholic, but he doesn't celebrate it or anything and we didn't even talk about our religions.

[Guest YUNMii.]

I'm a strong atheist, and my s/o is a Christian. And he believes.

Which bothers me, cush I don't. We don't talk about it thought, so it hasn't been in the way, but religion would probably be something to consider if you're looking to marry or sth like that. o.o

[Guest leeahh]

lol honestly i don't think of it unless they try to convert me, then i'm gonna take a stand. coz really.. relationships i have during this age [18] aren't likely to lead to marriage so i don't see why differences of religion should pose a problem xP

[Guest thenshexsays]

Honestly... while I accept people of every religion, and have friends from all sorts of faiths, I don't see myself realistically being in a relationship with a strongly religious person - particularly Western religions. I've had waaaayyy too many people of a strong religious background tell me that I consort with the devil/am evil/am going to burn in hell - I can't marry into that sort of thing! I believe what I believe (I'm pretty much an atheist), and would need somebody who agrees with me to some extent, and won't make me feel like less of a human being.

[Guest CHOCmiint]

my bf is buddhist and i'm christian, but just because our parents want us to be

we don't really believe in it, so it hasn't effected our relationship (so far)

although i respect people who are religious, i can't see myself dating anyone who is hardcore in their religion

[Guest greenti]

whoa! i'm in the exact same position.. well semi~

i'm christian. and my family is really really religious..

my boyfriend..is muslim... and that is a bigggg huge difference..

since muslim people aren't suppose to date we keep our relationship on the downlow.

but he is very very religious.. his family is really really religious...

its hard.. because sometimes i think about the future and think how are we going to work this out..

but for right now..~ i'm just going to enjoy the time i have with him..

its the only thing we can do

[Guest wr3ck3dd]

I'm sorry, but didn't you just contradict your first post? You said before that it shouldn't matter because in love, you love the person for all they are. However, now you're stating that if it's a certain religion, then it just can't happen?

edit//Ooh. So this is where my thread went xD hahah YAY MERGE!

I don't think you quite understand the intent of my first post. It was a bunch of "If...then" statements signifying that these are only maxims and adages that we could only try to live by. I haven't contradicted myself at all from the first post, I just don't see how feelings between these two very different religions could ever deal with being a relationship for long. But, as the user from experience, greenti, states, it is possible. I accounted for this possibility by discussing that these two are "fairly incompatible."

And moreover, you repeated what I basically said in my first post "it shouldn't matter because in love, you love the person for all they are." In my second post, I simply had to note that we're looking at very separate ideologies here, ideologies that rarely let it get to something as serious as a meaningful and long lasting relationship. Again, here, I am not eliminating the possibility that two people of the opposite Islamic or Judeo-Christian or Jewish faiths could get in a meaningful relationship, I am merely noting that according to the situation, it is entirely unlikely.

Lastly, what I presented was a very idealized view. I started the first post with "how about" and not, "we don't." Moreover, the last line of my post repeats my intentions once again: "One shouldn't have to settle into someone else' beliefs to gain their love." But sometimes, as I realize, they do.

[Guest pinkorion]

-deleted-

[Guest bubble x tea]

ehh well....my bf doesnt have a religion o.o...and im buddhist, he pretty much respect it x3 so i guess it doesnt really affect me and him

[Guest YESUNGHWAITING!]

oh geeez...

religious is the number one thing i look for in a guy... xD so differen't from everyone elses's replies lol

i want someone there for me if i'm struggling spiritually. and i would like my boyfriend to help me and pray for me that i'll get through it.

idk.. that's something my boyfriend has to have. or else it wouldn't work out for me.

btw. i'm 100% christian and 100% in love with God. :]

If you're a strong believer in something, then yes it does make a difference. I only disagree with you on two things: the word 'Christian' is being overused so yes, you have to believe that Jesus is Lord. There are good non-Christians out there, but they will not inherit the right to enter heaven.

Amen.

(:

[Guest SnookiePink]

oh geeez...

religious is the number one thing i look for in a guy... xD so differen't from everyone elses's replies lol

i want someone there for me if i'm struggling spiritually. and i would like my boyfriend to help me and pray for me that i'll get through it.

idk.. that's something my boyfriend has to have. or else it wouldn't work out for me.

btw. i'm 100% christian and 100% in love with god. :]

*squeeee* my thoughts exactly. agree 200% with this!

I think that 'religion' does play a strong role in a relationship.

Having a Christian boyfriend would be the best because as Jesus said that the man would be head of the household and also able to help your walk with God, you also would have a stronger spiritual relationship, as in you could be able to connect in ways such as telling him your worries, thoughts, fears etc...things that bother you. you can pray together.

If you were dating a non-Christian...you wouldn't be able to relate like you would with a Christian s/o because they don't really understand what you might be going through and offer advice/prayer!

[Guest lastdrop]

i believe it could be difficult and hard...

i'm glad that both me and my bf are christians because it makes it so much easier...

but its also hard by itself...

there's many things we have to think about and how much god means with us in our relationship...

i'm gald that we're pretty strong christians in very similar ways...

idk its hard for me to see myself dating a non-christian because then...

i'd have a hard time with his family and i could never be able to have a strong relationship with god anymore...

[Guest abviolinplayer]

I'm not religious, so I prefer my bf to be the same, but it's ok if they're tolerant and don't try to convert me or anything. My bf's last relationship ended because his ex was Catholic and he's athiest...sooo I think it's definitely best to be with someone who has similar religious views.

[Guest suki_*]

Here are a few vital equations for relationships on a religious POV:

Luke Warm Religious (Religion X) + Luke Warm Religious (Religion Y) = will work out regardless of which religion they are in.

Hardcore Religious (Religion X) + Hardcore Religous (Religion Y) = Fail. It will not work, heck, it would even be hard to be friends sometimes...usually just ends up as a Crush.

Athiest + Luke Warm Religious = will work out since the person's just luke warm about their religion

Atheist/Lukewarm Religious + Hardcore Religious = will not work out ever. There comes a time down the road in the relationship where one will either try to convert the other or break up because they feel like they are falling away from God.

Athiest + Athiest = will work out. will work just as much as two hardcore relgious people (in the same religion) and two lukewarm religious people (same or different doesn't matter).

[Guest copeland4vr]

Yes.

Because its a matter of world view or perspective. Not everyone may claim to be "religious" but they do have specific ways of approaching the world and living their lives...so to that extent we're all religious, with views that guide our living. Yet the influence that religious has on one's life varies...life previous comments have said its all about the true level of commitment. Some people may only be religious to extent of the name while others take their commitment seriously. Christians are called to not be 'yoked with unbelievers' so if they really are committed than the answer to your personal question about pursuing the guy romantically would be no.

For myself it matters absolutely...As a Christian I'm called to this, and I need spiritual support (as others have pointed out). Honestly much success that you expect from a relationship where you don't share goals, aspirations or are able to agree on some of the most basic areas of life? For me 'tolerance' of something so important is compromise, and it'll ultimately cause unnecessary stress and struggles.

hopefully this reply hasn't been too heavy handed!! It's too the point but its something that matters a lot to me personally :]

[danielluv]

It's very important to me, however I have found myself in a situation where I have feelings for someone who is believes there is a God but has not committed himself to Christ (technically brought up in Catholic family and labels himself as Catholic) while I consider myself to be a serious Christian. I never thought I'd find myself in such a situation, I always said that I wouldn't ever get into a relationship with someone who didn't put Christ first.

He respects my beliefs and encourages them, though he himself believes something else. He believes in himself. He's okay with me praying with him, with me reading the Bible with him. But he's still figuring things out. He says he needs to know God more in order to accept Him.

It's very confusing and is the #1 problem that we're dealing with right now. And the main reason why I can't be in a relationship with him even though my heart wants to.

Atheist/Lukewarm Religious + Hardcore Religious = will not work out ever. There comes a time down the road in the relationship where one will either try to convert the other or break up because they feel like they are falling away from God.

That's us. I already feel like I'm trying to convert him already. And that I may be falling away from God too, even though he personally isn't doing anything to cause that.

edit: we did end up being in a relationship but it ended for these reasons.

[Guest flyingpenguins]

I'm a Buddhist (yeah, family religion too), and my bf is an atheist. =/

You know, the funny thing is, he has had on this Buddha necklace since he was born -_________-

But he respects my view (I'm one of those Luke-Warm religious people), and I'm fine with his.

[Guest heleNx3kimchi]

I can't see how a couple each belonging to a different organized religion can form a strong relationship together. Both of them are thinking that the other one is going to be punished for being a non-believer, so they're either going to argue constantly to try and convert one another or they're going to grow bitter towards each other because they view the other as "sinful".

[Guest rawr_sheila]

What about you? How has religion affected your relationships with significant others?

im not in a relationship and i've never been.

but i do know something.

both have to make compromises and agreements on things

[Guest holyfear]

It depends how seriously ingrained your religious beliefs are.

I believe in God. I believe God's imperative for humanity is love (the general kind).

My beliefs affects everything I do.

I try to seriously care/love for everyone I meet, who I believe is loved by God.

I'm very open to other religious beliefs, because I feel they're entitled to their beliefs by God.

In a committed relationship, the differing beliefs will create huge clashes, especially towards children, because of how immensely important they are to the parents.

If your wife wants your kid to go to church and you don't want your kid to be some bible thumper, you're not very understanding enough if you think that won't create fights.

Honestly, I would date someone who doesn't share my beliefs, but there will be a threshold for the relationship.