Another break-up after being paired up - former church mate 20 years ago

My mother's friend introduced this slightly older Korean-American girl to my mother, whom I was interested in meeting up with. The girl is 34 years old, and I'm 31 yrs. old.
My mother was definitely adamant that I not even see this girl, because she's older than me. Plus this girl was said to have "almost married a doctor, but since the doctor's faith in God was not strong, she didn't marry him." That kind of gave my mother a "red flag," as it sounded like some kind of excuse or cop-out. But oh well, mother's friend insisted I see the girl she recommended me to see.

Ironically, when my mother gave me the girl's name, I recall that girl's name from somewhere. After trying to recall her first name and lastname, I realized that she went to Friday night Bible study with my sister and me, almost twenty years ago. I did not recall her face. Just her specific Korean name, lastname, and the high school she was attending at that time (as my mother's friend gave her high school alma mater to my mother). I also recall being good buddies with this girl's older brother.

I honestly was quite happy to be meeting up with this girl when my mother gave me her name and phone #.

I called her almost a month ago to meet up for dinner. We decided to meet up at a ramen noodle shop for dinner after she was done with work.

We met at the restaurant, had dinner together. She is not really that pretty, and a little chubby. However, she was very talkative, and we talked a lot about living away from home, attending college on the mainland (I attended a college in Southern California, while she went to a university in the Boston area).

We also talked about our church activities, and compared our churches. She currently lives with a white female roommate, away from her parents.

After dinner, we parted ways, and I told her it was nice meeting her.

Two days later after the day we had dinner together, I asked her if she wanted to hang out. She invited me to go out-door camping with a group of her friends. I have never gone outdoor camping before, so I was initially hesitant on doing so. I gave in, and decided to go on the Friday night at the start of Labor Day weekend. Hours before I was headed to the camp, she texted me and told me to get a chair, or something to sit on. I did not realize that there were not tents provided, but luckily, one of hte guys was not going to the camp that Friday night, so I was able to sleep in his tent.

We ended up playing a game called "Mafia" some retarded game where you pick cards, and Queen or King determines if you're the criminal, and Jack or a 10 (forgot which specific card) determines if you're the town police. So we played that game twice, and I thought it was a complete waste of time.

After that game ended, the girl I was paired up with via my mother's friend, decided to go out on the beach and look at the stars. However, the girl's roommate decided to come along. I found it strange that I ended up chatting more with the girl's roommate, as I was asking her questions about her previous work with Apple, and the fact that she was knowledgeable about Astronomy and figuring out the shapes of the Constellations. After spending an hour gazing up at the stars and shooting stars, we saw the other guys in the group, and two other girls in the group sitting elsewhere on the beach. So the girl, me and her roommate walked over to where they were sitting on the pitched black dark beach (man, I was really scared!).

After sitting with the other guys for 30 minutes, I was really tired. I got up early that Friday morning to work and also had errands to do after work before I headed over to the camp. I told the girl and her friends that I was tired and I decided to head back to the tent to get ready to sleep.

The following morning, we had breakfast together.  I had to leave at 10AM, as I had to work at 2PM that day for an evening shift. I said my goodbyes to the girl who invited me to her friend's camp activity. Some of the guys were wondering why I was leaving early, because they were going to camp out until the afternoon of Labor Day Monday.

The following day, Sunday, I sent the girl a text message thanking her for inviting me to her friend's camp, and that I had a great time. She said she's glad that I enjoyed it, and hoped that I caught up on my sleep.

The week after the Labor Day weekend, I sent the girl a text message, asking her if she wanted to go see a free Korean-related movie, showing at a nearby theather, the following Monday night. She responded the following day that she was busy that Monday night.

My mom's friend asked my mom at church last week Sunday how the girl and me were doing. My mom told her friend that the girl invited me over to camp, but declined to watch movie that Monday night. My mom's friend told my mom to tell me to be aggressive and keep calling the girl. Basically, "don't give up."

So last week, I sent the girl a text message asking her if she wanted to have dinner with me, next week. She responded in her text message that she will have to check her schedule.

Come this past Tuesday, I get a voicemail from the girl. She wanted me to call her. So during my lunch break at work, I called her.

She basically told me that she does not want to meet up for dinner, and don't want to continue dating. She wasn't specific, but I could tell the vibe that she didn't want to continue our relationship.

I quite frankly am sooooo angry that I have been having bad luck in the dating arena, recently.

However, analyzing the girl's situation, I am very confident that the girl's mother, and my mother's friend has been introducing the girl to MANY other guys in the past. So if I were to place myself in her shoes, she is probably sick and tired of seeing so many guys, and being "pressured" by her parents to get married.
Because all she's doing right now is working for a local news company, and living her own life with a roommate (the white female roommate).

First break-up was with the Japanese girl I was introduced to back in February of this year. I ended up being her "chum" because I was buying her lunch, dinner, etc. One week before she permanently left for Japan, which was around end of June, she called me up to tell me that we are not compatible with each other. I hope she gets bachi later on in life! >(

Next was the former co-worker of mine who introduced me to a Japanese-American girl from New York, who ended up sending me that text message that she is no longer interested in me, since she's into hotel management and has grandiose impossible dreams of opening up her own hotel, when she doesn't even have financial means of doing something of this nature!

Now, I have this girl whom my mother's friend introduced to my mother, whom we actually know each other prior to being introduced, who does not want to continue dating. Why?!!

Why do I have bad luck!???? I am very angry and frustrated that a lot of my co-workers and friends have a GF, or are married with children!!

I wonder if God has placed a bad luck curse on me to not have a girlfriend or a future wife?

People tell me, "oh, don't worry, when the right time comes, you will meet a special person." Right time, my rear end!!!
I have been single for the last five years because I was in school, trying hard to graduate. Heck, even other classmates in my former program had BF's or GF's or even married with kids, and had no problem completing the program.


I hate to sound very pissed off and angry, but this is a way to get this dating problem/issue off my chest!

first dont blame god and start thinking about where it went wrong. some people consider dating a game and some want more. youll meet a few bad ones but you have to take steps to finding the one. it didnt even sound like you like the girl it was more of a ’ i want to date cause im lonely.

Oh god is this what dating is like in your 30's? Church?

Hello, sir. I am younger and I don't know what to say.

Since I am the little dongsaeng here, the best advice I can give you is to pray on it. Don't blame God just because you're upset, because He has a plan for you. People do not find love until it is God's time for them to be with the right one. I think that you should try praying for God to send you someone you will marry who is meant for you. 

While my friends and I are younger, some of them go through similar things (sometimes marriage included because a lot of us are high school seniors and some people may want to marry directly after, but not always). Also, I see this a lot in my family. The elders of the family will often ask the adult girls/guys why they aren't married, married with children, or engaged, and will give relationship advice to us. From what I'm guessing, every family has this issue!

While we have frustrating days at times, you can vent your frustrations in the "message to anybody" topic, or one that is dedicated to ranting (found in the 20+ subforum). If you have a questions you would like members to address, please pm me to reopen this topic.

As of now, this topic is closed.