Ask The Fellas

[Guest disgradius]

how can you tell if a guy likes you? He tells you, you and him are just friends but when you're alone together he stares at you, and touches you, and when you smile and look at him, he turns away like he never did anything but all he wants is just to stay friends? This is confusing!!

And then the guy tells you to call/txt him after you've hung out, to make sure that you call him, and when you do, he doesn't answer his phone or txt you back?

And what about when he asks you where you are going and you tell him that you're going to hang out with some of your guy friends, and he just says "oh", and then you ask him, would you like me to hang out with you instead and he answers "No" quickly? WTF

Or even after we've broken up and we're just friends, i still txt him like we are going out, force of habit, just to ask how he's doing and how his day was and if he wanted to hang out and he jumps at it and says yes?

Immature guys like affection/attention just like girls do~ Something inside him tells him it won't work out but it's not like he's entirely not attracted to you so he's just being an richard simmons.

Just a general question, what's the line between being friendly and flirting? Also, if a guy flirts with you, does it mean he's at least somewhat interested? So basically, how can you tell if a guy is interested? Is a guy really attentive and always trying to talk to or hang out with the girl, or can he be kind of distant sometimes? Super vague, I know, but I'm kind of just curious right now haha. Thanks!

Using your framework:

Distant as in nonresponsive, unless he is seriously sleep deprived, probably doesn't like you. Distant as in not really replying to what you're saying (but still saying something) - this guy has some internal conflict/issues. Distant as in curt, dry jokes, etc he's probably shy/finding it awkward.

Flirting without being attentive etc - this guy is just a flirt. Being attentive and flirty - likely interested. Just being attentive - hard to gauge, definitely finds you interesting but not necessarily romantically interesting.

there's this guy. he's always picking on me and teasing me. he even told me that he really likes to make fun of me. "you have an aura that makes me want to make fun of you" he says. lol. after a while, i thought he was annoyed of me so i asked one our mutual friends slickly of course. >o< but he said. "no. im absolutely sure that he doesnt hate you or think you're annoying. there somethings i can't tell you though."

what does all that even mean? help me out here?

He likes you but is immature and is playing hard to get to see how you'd react because he finds it unfair that he's chasing you all the time without you chasing him. I could be completely off though.

So, this guy I rejected (read wall of text a couple of pages back), I just realised he unfriended me >

Every single guy has given a response along the lines of "I really like you, but i'm not ready for a relationship yet". After the confessions it ends up being:

1. The girl agrees to wait

2. They continue to be close friends, sometimes even act like a couple

3. Girl is then confused as to why they are waiting.

See, my interpretation of that line/response is: "I really like you, but not enough to go out with you and I want you to stick around because it's nice to know someone cares in that way."

I don't like how my friends are being made to wait around for a yes or no answer/ some sort of confirmation.

Question: Am I being unreasonable in my interpretation and is there really any such thing as 'not being ready'?

They might not be sure of their feelings either. All relationships eventually drift towards a stage of familiarity (whether it be friendship or romance). Without going through the initial 'spark' as some like to call it and going straight to the area of familiarity (as friends do) may leave them kinda confused as to how they really view your friends. Thus, expect confusing responses, they have no clue either.

Hey guys.

Here is my situation.

I started talking to this guy over facebook through mutual friends. (because i thought he was her crush or bf, i asked her and she said no and that he was just a good friend. yeah I felt stupid.)

Simple conversations started, such as where do you go? what's your hobby? etc etc.

We started texting. day to day basis. not that much. and as time went by like a week or so, our texts were like everyday thing. morning to night. repeating. We had so much in common. Which is the reason we started talking so much. We have never seen each other. Heard each other. Yeah, it felt weird. Then he gave me hints that he liked me. He actually told me. but I just kind of ignored it and brushed it off. I had started liking him too...his personality drew me in. I never had so much in common with a guy. I didn't tell him I liked him because I was afraid of what he would be like if he and I met..what if he's different from what I think. We text playfully. Then, Few days ago, we met. officially met. He was what I expected...He told me afterwards that I am what he imagined also.

He told me he likes me. I also told him I like him too. (the fastest I've ever liked a guy...usually guys confess, I reject. end of story...but not this one)

Reasons we can't see each other:

1.Kind of long distance. Neither drives. (even though he's at an age he can drive)

2.He is going back to Korea this summer.to live...we're both scared to start something too big that would hurt us when the time's up.

I'm confused....I just want someone to say their opinion on this. or give me an advice...

(soompi is a place I can go too since a lot of girls in real life are a little too gossipy and nosy.)

I'd feel free to pursue this but don't move too fast. It'll likely end up as a good memory years in the future and a learning experience for future relationships. Unless circumstances change, your relationship does not seem likely to last (also based on my judgment of your age - my estimate being somewhere in high school ish?). You don't necessarily need to hold back because he's leaving as longing =/= pain. Just be aware that you won't be marrying him etc so exercise appropriate caution with respect to intimate actions.

[Guest hmizzle]

Any of you ever...have that one girl that got away? (In my case, she moved far far away )

If so, did you ever get over it? I don't know why I feel pissed about the fact that I didn't get a chance to get to know her..

oh well.

[Guest Raix]

He doesn't want to be in your life in any way. Saving his ego. etc.

This is quite obvious. Did you come in to rant?

Kind of. I'm more curious as to why he'd delete my friend but didn't delete all my other friends? Cause he really isn't in our 'group' anyway.

[Guest Zumreed]

@Zumreed:

Well, I think you should live the life you love and love the life you live.

Just don't live with regrets but also don't get too close and end up doing something you might regret just because there's this time limit. 

It sounds like you're too young to drive so you're probably still too young (imo) to really "love" someone. I'm not sure how much you could possibly have in common at your age but it wouldn't hurt to keep being friends and when he leaves to see if he keeps writing you or not. I'm just saying that at your age, a lot of people fall in and out of "love" all the time and when you graduate from high school you're sure to find even more people you're in common with (if that's what you're after) in college/uni. Just don't get hung up.

I should have my permit....it's just that I didn't get it yet. I'm a junior in high school. He's a senior.

You're right. I'm too young, but I'm mature for my age, I'm not the type to do stupid things on a regular basis. I also think it's a little absurd when they call a 2 months relationship "love".

Thank for the input. I'm not honestly looking for Love. At all. well since I'm not looking for anything big....I should probably quit this flirting and not start a relationship.

Thanks for your advices!

[MrPower]

Any of you ever...have that one girl that got away? (In my case, she moved far far away )

If so, did you ever get over it? I don't know why I feel pissed about the fact that I didn't get a chance to get to know her..

oh well.

I know how you feel. I'll let you in on my sad love life.

Every single woman I've ever established a relationship with had to move away. Every single one. 

I am still not over this fact... Life moves on with, or without you. Just keep your head up.

Kind of. I'm more curious as to why he'd delete my friend but didn't delete all my other friends? Cause he really isn't in our 'group' anyway.

didn't that guy ask your friend for advice? yeah.

this doesn't really matter though, he obviously doesn't want to be in your life. Let it go.

[Guest tianaaa.]

  okay so, I've liked this guy for awhile and I thought he liked me slightly too because of the way he talks to me or looks at me.  We both work in the same restaurant but at different locations. So he calls where I work to check on things some times. One time he called, I picked up the phone and he said "Hey honey." But I took it as just like a joke. We've hung out before, like at movies and went bowling together. We weren't alone or anything, but when we're at the movies he'd always sit next to me. Or when we went bowling, he never used to sit next to me till this one time. He was closer than usual. But then.. maybe it's  cause he was a little bit drunk lol. We went out to eat that night and he called me honey in front of everyone. when we talk, there's always eye contact. I feel like he likes me, but am I just reading this the wrong way? Also, there's a big age gap of 11 years.. would that affect how things are?

thank you in advance(:

[sipredstraw]

So, what does it mean when a guy stares into your eyes for like ten seconds with no expression on his face after he flirts with you ?

and he's an acquaintance

[Guest silver_moon525]

I was just wondering, what are the chances that a guy will chase after a girl who already has a boyfriend but that boyfriend is very very far away (long distance relationship)? Is it kind of a "can't touch her" situation?

[Guest MooseTracks]

If a guy asks you if you have a boyfriend, does it mean they're interested in you?

Will some just ask for the heck of curiosity or do they ask because they're interested and want to know if you're available?

[Guest chimerical.]

for the guys who are really flirtacious, how can you tell if they're showing genuine interest in a girl?

[j'adoreAZNpop]

nevermind~

[Guest disgradius]

  okay so, I've liked this guy for awhile and I thought he liked me slightly too because of the way he talks to me or looks at me.  We both work in the same restaurant but at different locations. So he calls where I work to check on things some times. One time he called, I picked up the phone and he said "Hey honey." But I took it as just like a joke. We've hung out before, like at movies and went bowling together. We weren't alone or anything, but when we're at the movies he'd always sit next to me. Or when we went bowling, he never used to sit next to me till this one time. He was closer than usual. But then.. maybe it's  cause he was a little bit drunk lol. We went out to eat that night and he called me honey in front of everyone. when we talk, there's always eye contact. I feel like he likes me, but am I just reading this the wrong way? Also, there's a big age gap of 11 years.. would that affect how things are?

thank you in advance(:

Based on what you wrote above, he does seem to have some measure of affection for you. Unless you're late 20s/30s though (and it doesn't seem like you are), 11 years is a bit too much of an age gap. Especially considering that his behaviour seems more of what one would expect from a teenager. Not a good idea to get involved.

So, what does it mean when a guy stares into your eyes for like ten seconds with no expression on his face after he flirts with you ?

and he's an acquaintance

0.0 gauging your reaction...? hard to say on this one without context.

I was just wondering, what are the chances that a guy will chase after a girl who already has a boyfriend but that boyfriend is very very far away (long distance relationship)? Is it kind of a "can't touch her" situation?

Unless the guy is fairly mature, he'll probably end up being more flirtatious than he should be but will (hopefully) feel guilty about his actions. In terms of his actions though, won't change much aside from him being more cautious about your reactions towards his attempts to get closer if he does decide to go after you.

If a guy asks you if you have a boyfriend, does it mean they're interested in you?

Will some just ask for the heck of curiosity or do they ask because they're interested and want to know if you're available?

Unless you're on the topic of relationships or something related, generally yes (or at least someone they know is interested in you). Generally, I find guys are not as prone to ask about relationship status on behalf of their friends so it's more likely they're interested. The chances of him asking this question because he's interested are higher if the two of you aren't close friends (as friends tend to be more curious about each other's lives).

for the guys who are really flirtacious, how can you tell if they're showing genuine interest in a girl?

If you can't tell, then they're not. Their behaviour should strike you as very different if they do develop a very strong interest.

[Guest chimerical.]

^ Ohh no, I'm not applying it to anyone in particular. I was just curious ^__^;

[Guest disgradius]

There are no common signs so much as their behaviour will be different from normal due to nervousness~

I guess they're more likely to be slightly withdrawn or appear shy~

[Guest Psyche81]

Guys!! Help!!!! (for guys to reply only)

This is for a project my friend and I are doing. Can all you guys give me your top 10 ways (with 1 being the one you most frequently use)to let a girl know you're NOT interested? Thx! ^^

[chiluvskk]

ok guys I was walking across school campus today and a guy and his friend smiles as they walked by and they took even took a picture of me! Before I realized it they walked away. Should I just take this as a compliment or should I be worried what they'll do with the picture?

arghhh!!!

[Guest may__chick]

So.. Guys.. How long would it take you to kiss a girl? For example, if you two are in a relationship, how long would you wait til your first kiss with her?

[MrPower]

mini cooper. HotFireNeko, where are you

 

  okay so, I've liked this guy for awhile and I thought he liked me slightly too because of the way he talks to me or looks at me.  We both work in the same restaurant but at different locations. So he calls where I work to check on things some times. One time he called, I picked up the phone and he said "Hey honey." But I took it as just like a joke. We've hung out before, like at movies and went bowling together. We weren't alone or anything, but when we're at the movies he'd always sit next to me. Or when we went bowling, he never used to sit next to me till this one time. He was closer than usual. But then.. maybe it's  cause he was a little bit drunk lol. We went out to eat that night and he called me honey in front of everyone. when we talk, there's always eye contact. I feel like he likes me, but am I just reading this the wrong way? Also, there's a big age gap of 11 years.. would that affect how things are?

thank you in advance(:

probably. age has some boundaries to overcome, but usually it doesn't stop men.

So, what does it mean when a guy stares into your eyes for like ten seconds with no expression on his face after he flirts with you ?

and he's an acquaintance

he wants to know what you're thinking.

Or he's messing with you. Choose your pick. With the info you gave, it could be anything.

I was just wondering, what are the chances that a guy will chase after a girl who already has a boyfriend but that boyfriend is very very far away (long distance relationship)? Is it kind of a "can't touch her" situation?

no. not always.

if he's selfish enough, he'll pursue the girl.

If a guy asks you if you have a boyfriend, does it mean they're interested in you?

Will some just ask for the heck of curiosity or do they ask because they're interested and want to know if you're available?

not always.

Some people ask because its fun to talk about, while others ask because they're interested.

Don't focus on the words, rather how he says them. Body language tells all.

for the guys who are really flirtacious, how can you tell if they're showing genuine interest in a girl?

They have an interest towards all girls.

Except that the interest is shallow and likely short-term.

Good luck trying to settle down with those types.

(In my experience, many of them cheat once they're in a relationship)

Guys!! Help!!!! (for guys to reply only)

This is for a project my friend and I are doing. Can all you guys give me your top 10 ways (with 1 being the one you most frequently use)to let a girl know you're NOT interested? Thx! ^^

Well it depends on who the girl is, and the relationship I have with her.

These are some my excuses for acquaintances.

1. Words - I'm not ready for a relationship right now

2. Words - I already have a girlfriend

3. Action - Ignore advances

4. Words/Action - make up any excuse that I need to go somewhere RIGHT now.

5. Action/Words - Be as boring as possible

6. Action - Run

7. Action - Hide.

8. Action - Act really busy

9. Words - Stop hanging out with them

10. Words - You're not my type, sorry

ok guys I was walking across school campus today and a guy and his friend smiles as they walked by and they took even took a picture of me! Before I realized it they walked away. Should I just take this as a compliment or should I be worried what they'll do with the picture?

arghhh!!!

Wtf. I thought that only happens in Korea. When people took a picture of me, I thought it was so weird...

Do both.

So.. Guys.. How long would it take you to kiss a girl? For example, if you two are in a relationship, how long would you wait til your first kiss with her?

Depends on how fast I feel like I'm connected with this girl.

For me, it takes about a couple weeks until we're both comfortable enough around each other.

[Guest oOChristyXx]

Would you go out with a girl if you aren't 100% sure you like her? like sometimes you like her and sometimes you arent so sure?

[Guest MooseTracks]

If a guy asks you if you have a boyfriend, does it mean they're interested in you?

Will some just ask for the heck of curiosity or do they ask because they're interested and want to know if you're available?

This is what I asked, thanks for those who helped. Just a few more things.

He asked while we had to play this game, so I'm just curious if he was just asking because it came random to him, but he ended the game right after he got his answer. Also someone told me that they play that certain game to get something out of it.

I also didn't get to see his facial expression or his body language because we weren't face to face when he asked.

Thanks in advance; and once again thank you for replying, much appreciation towards those who help out in this thread (: