Women who marry men not because she has the hots for him but because of his credentials

[Guest rickertv2]

I had an interesting talk with a friend today for lunch who is professional relationship counselor. He told me that one of the reasons why so many women break up or divorce their boyfriends/husbands is because they were never really attracted to the guy but decided to settle with him because of his "credentials" (academic, financial, family, etc.). Once these women realize later that it takes more than a man's credentials to keep a relationship going, they just end up breaking up or divorcing the guy (even if the man didn't do anything wrong to harm the relationship). His advice to me was this: if you ever plan on permanently settling down with a woman make sure she genuinely likes you for who you are and not because of your attractive resume.
I find that this is something that a lot of Asian women tend to do when they get along in age. Anyone agree with this? I think it's pretty sad that women have to settle just because they can't find a man that they like that likes them back equally.

[Guest dolcedor.]

Well, I think "credentials" are important to an extent. It's indicative of someone's ability to provide stability and security. These are important to a lot of people, and I can't fault anyone for wanting to marry someone who had the same values.

His advice to me was this: if you ever plan on permanently settling down with a woman make sure she genuinely likes you for who you are and not because of your attractive resume.

[Guest rickertv2]

dolcedor. said: Well, I think "credentials" are important to an extent. It's indicative of someone's ability to provide stability and security. These are important to a lot of people, and I can't fault anyone for wanting to marry someone who had the same values.

His advice to me was this: if you ever plan on permanently settling down with a woman make sure she genuinely likes you for who you are and not because of your attractive resume.

[MiDnite89]

ajlee613 said: at least when a guy marries you for your nice butt, he continues to like your butt for at least 100 more years. 

[Guest dolcedor.]

rickertv2 said: dolcedor. said: Well, I think "credentials" are important to an extent. It's indicative of someone's ability to provide stability and security. These are important to a lot of people, and I can't fault anyone for wanting to marry someone who had the same values.

His advice to me was this: if you ever plan on permanently settling down with a woman make sure she genuinely likes you for who you are and not because of your attractive resume.

[DFO-King]

Everything you said sounds about right. A poor hard working guy is not as attractive as a rich lazy guy.

[Sommelier]

rickertv2

said:

Once these women realize later that it takes more than a man's credentials to keep a relationship going, they just end up breaking up or divorcing the guy (even if the man didn't do anything wrong to harm the relationship). His advice to me was this: if you ever plan on permanently settling down with a woman make sure she genuinely likes you for who you are and not because of your attractive resume.

I find that this is something that a lot of Asian women tend to do when they get along in age. Anyone agree with this? I think it's pretty sad that women have to settle just because they can't find a man that they like that likes them back equally.

[Guest hearthealer]

Honestly, credentials are important. But so is attraction, there needs to be a balance. Besides, looks never last forever, so personality, character and how well we click, as well to a smaller extent his credentials matter more than that basic attraction to his cute perky butt and high cheekbones. Not that i mind since my SO has both creds, the butt and the cheekbones. 
The thing is, women have to learn to be practical. Marrying a guy out of pure attraction then working your butt off to maintain the family when he turns out to not have the creds to do so or even help to do so is no woman's idea of marriage. 
But yes, find a balance that you can deal with and make sure you love him. Love can be practical and romantic and still have that raw edge to it. You just need to find the right (wo)man.
Edit: Also people change, someone you can love at age 15 isn't the same as someone you love at age 25 or at age 65. Commitment level changes and it's about whether people are willing to work to overcome the change or whether they'd rather just drop everything and walk away. THIS I blame on a society that overly emphasizes love, so much so that people now believe that if the love fades, they can just leave and walk out on family and on their marriage etc. and go for the next object of their "love".

[Guest nanvoc]

Having good credentials are nice but yet again I'm just a richard simmons with high standards lol.

[AmaiStina]

dolcedor. said: rickertv2 said: dolcedor. said: Well, I think "credentials" are important to an extent. It's indicative of someone's ability to provide stability and security. These are important to a lot of people, and I can't fault anyone for wanting to marry someone who had the same values.

His advice to me was this: if you ever plan on permanently settling down with a woman make sure she genuinely likes you for who you are and not because of your attractive resume.

[Guest HERMIT]

I just wear a t-shirt with a picture of my avatar.
It's credentials enough.


Which explains why I'm still a hermit, lol.

[Guest severus]

Marrying someone who you simply have the hots for isn't so wise either. Physical attraction fades ... Because looks fade. So let's be practical here...personality, humor, and size.

[Guest showoff]

sirius said: Marrying someone who you simply have the hots for isn't so wise either. Physical attraction fades ... Because looks fade. So let's be practical here...personality, humor, and size.

[Guest rickertv2]

sirius said: Marrying someone who you simply have the hots for isn't so wise either. Physical attraction fades ... Because looks fade. So let's be practical here...personality, humor, and size.

[Guest severus]

I agree with you. You notice I didn't say ONLY physical attraction.

Ohhhhhh hahah I just read the title.

@showoff

Yes, that is the moob size I prefer on my men.

[Guest showoff]

Dang, you like them itty-bitty.

[Sommelier]

Girls are aholes.

[Guest severus]

@showoff anything more than a handful is cause for inefficient honka-honkas

[Guest calculator]

sirius said: @showoff anything more than a handful is cause for inefficient honka-honkas

[Guest .La.Dolce.Vita.]

Lets be honest, credentials are important. Having said that, they should be not the sole reason why the woman gets married. I mean that's obvious 

Most women as they get older, start to put a value on how well a man can provide. Sometimes it's not even about money or social status, it's showing that you have the promise to be able to provide (i.e. you can be dirt poor but if you show incredibly strong work ethics and ambitions). You can be in love with someone's personality and all of that but if in the end, they are lazy as hell and not a care for his future then this hints at future instability which no woman wants to marry into. That's recipe for disaster.