[Drama 2011] Gwanggaeto, The Great Conqueror 광개토태왕

[Guest flydolesqueue]

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[daunte29]

Ep 65..... when Ha Muji cannot decide whether to call the dude Murong Un or Ko Un.

Not once but twice Ha Muji, our learned strategist tripped verbally over Murong/Ko Un's name confusion.

Indeed MK Un was in Goguryeo to cause more than just name confusion and there were a couple of hilarious moments in episode 65...

..... the first one being our dreadlocks-Korean rastafarian called Batar of the Biryeo clan (not to be confused with rapper Miryo from the Brown Eyed Girls clan) ) who tells Seol Doan,

YOU COME TO ENEMY TERRITORY AND TRY TO LECTURE ME? (Wah.... see how advanced the Biryeo people already were in those days.... they already have lectures in those ancient days)

Seol Doan: I'M NOT LECTURING YOU. I'M MOCKING YOU.

and then suddenly SD becomes a poet-philosopher & World History expert: A GENERAL'S WRONG DECISION ONLY RESULTS IN THE LOSS OF SOLDIERS, BUT A RULER'S WRONG DECISION RESULTS IN THE LOSS OF A COUNTRY. I HAD TO SHED A LOT OF BLOOD TO REALIZE THAT.

As if that wasn't deep enough, SD TELLS Batar: I CAME TO MOCK YOU BUT I'M GIVING YOU ADVICE BECAUSE I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU.

**APPLAUSE** Seol Doan came to insult Batar but instead chose the nobler option of sharing some words of wisdom, no doubt passed on from Mohe's tribal professors of the past.

Going by Seol Doan's logic, a man can become definitely become wiser not by reading or by copying homework but by bleeding from sword fights.

The second comedian was Asin IN HIS EUREKA MOMENT telling his ministers and military commanders: THAT IS WHY WE LOST EVERY TIME. WE ARE ADVANCED WITH MARITIME WAR BUT WE'RE ALWAYS FIGHTING ON LAND.

Our marines and amphibious forces of today should thank Asin's military hind-sight (or back sight?) because the only two things he can order his ministers to do is find more money and order his generals to strengthen the army. Oh yes, he also wants the Baekje noblemen with private armies to send some of their soldiers to Asin's national army.

Asin: WHAT GOOD CAN A PRIVATE ARMY DO IF BAEKJE THE COUNTRY FALLS INTO ENEMY HANDS? ....Wah, Asin is so clever here....Hmmm, it certainly looks like Seol Dan's logic of man becoming wiser through repeated cases of bleeding from sword fights holds true.... I've forgotten how many times Asin has been cut by Damdeok in their swordfights.

And before Asin goes home for the day, our PD did a close-up shot of Asin with his usual teeth-baring grimacing snarl.... you know, the same expression your boss shows when you take 2 hour long lunch breaks.

[daunte29]

Ep 66 KBSW.... When royalty on both sides of the border, including Damdeok himself, cannot decide whether to call him Ko Un or Murong Un and they all keep tripping over this name

Ko-nfusion, not once but twice.

To be honest, eps 65-66 were fun-filled time-fillers where the plot is just to P R O L O N G the series and it's about the dastardly act of the man formerly known as Ko Un.

To cut to the chase, Murong Un's mission was to conspire with one Goguryeon government official Gye Song to steal Goguryeon military secrets, which for convenience, were fully contained in just a few parchments.

Unfortunately the Houyans became turncoats themselves because after getting those state secrets, their plan was to kill Murong Un and leave Gye Song to be captured by Goguryeo. So our writers plot-arc is "Treachery + CounterTreachery = Good Plot".

Now how come state military secrets can so easily be 'stolen' from the Goguryeo's vault and why these military secrets are contained in only a few rolled-up parchments beats me .... maybe they're written in micro-small fonts?

How vital were these stolen military secrets? According to General Hwang:

THE DOCUMENTS STATE NOT ONLY THEIR TROOPS BATHING TIMES AND THE BRAND OF SOAP AND SHAMPOO THEY USE, BUT FORTRESS LOCATIONS & MAIN ADVANCE BASES; DETAILS OF THEIR MAIN AND RESERVES FORCES INCLUDING SENIOR CITIZENS & MARINE MAMMALS TRAINED TO CARRY OUT COMMANDO RAIDS.

Before losing his head literally, poor Gye Song was tortured using the hot iron branding rods hair removal and deep skin exfoliation technique, free of charge by Goguryeo's Ministry of Information Extraction & Pain Enhancement.

They even brought the man formerly known as Ko Un into the Goguryeo Underground Torture Complex where only the privileged few could enter but not necessarily exit - to watch upclose the torture, and so in between the screaming and the smoky sizzling crackle of human tissue and subcutaneous fat, in walks Damdeok and his usual posse.

Reason for the torture? So that Gye Song could tell DD face-2-face the man he sold the military secrets to were right in front of them - Murong/Ko Un. In fact GS also said he sold ONLY HALF the secrets knowing the possibility he might be betrayed by the Houyans.

The unfazed Murong/Ko Un still maintains his innocence in spite of Gye Song's testimony and then changes the friendly conversation to the fact that Damdeok's attack dog, Seok Jae, tried to kill him, a Houyan envoy and prince of thieves.

CUT-SCENE to Gungnaeseong's execution grounds where on this day when KBS brought their cameras and crew, admission was free for those aged 18 and above: Ha Mu Ji himself read out the decree that Gye Song and 'many others' (accused of abusing their power, falsifying documents, selling state secrets, stealing land, reading erotic literature, spraying anti-DD graffiti on palace walls, etc) were promptly assembled in the palace execution grounds and two gleeful executioners with oversized meat cleavers did their job by.... note this because it actually happened ..... first dancing around their hapless victims and 'playing' by putting their blades against their necks before delivering the death blow.

Camera then zooms in on Ha Muji's closed eyes, probably brimming with hidden dee-light at the multiple beheading which probably sent delicious tingling sensations to his nutsack and/or nether regions.

And here's the biggest blackhole in the writers' logic.... Murong Un/Ko Un was 'spared' from execution or punishment possibly because Damdeok couldn't get proof of his crime.

Since when did Goguryeo practise the notion of innocent unless proven otherwise? Weren't Gye Song's words proof enough?

Furthermore if Gye Song sold only half the military secrets, shouldn't he lose only half his head?

So one should seriously ask.... what happened to Damdeok's humane policy of sparing lives? Okay, I get it that these overpaid officials committed high treason but how about those officials who were supposed to guard those secrets? Shouldn't they too be punished for lax security?

Instead of beheading them, DD could have ordered 100 lashes on each of their buttcheeks (200 in all) and ordered the same for Murong/Ko Un.... hey folks, DD is the king, absolute ruler, and he doesn't need to follow any laws; his word is law.

But our kind & compassionate writers first made Murong/Ko Un tell DD:

I COULD EVEN SELL MY SOUL TO THE DEVIL. I AM GOING TO CAUSE YOUR DOWNFALL..... I WILL NEVER BOW TO YOU.

DD: DO YOU HATE ME THAT MUCH? .... I AM GOING TO TRY TO CONVINCE YOU TO THE END. I AM GOING TO HAVE YOU AS MY FRIEND ONCE AGAIN..... THAT'S WHAT MY HEART WANTS.

Listening to Damdeok say all those scripted words to MK Un was like listening to the lyrics of Celine Dion's theme song from TITANIC.

Indeed ep 66 end scene was MK Un bowing down to Damdeok in his office and saying what all unfaithful husbands and boyfriends say to their wives/girlfriends: PLEASE GIVE ME ONE MORE CHANCE...... I WILL BE A LOYAL GOOD BOY FROM NOW ON.

As a bonus from ep 66, we get to see close-ups of Princess Damju who helps her hubby deliver a secret tweet to MK Un..... and then Queen Yakyeon who tells MK Un "BTW Doyoung is alive and she's having a rockin' good time eating healthy Baekje cuisine and maxing out her credit cards at shopping malls in Baekje."

Then Asin spots Doyoung in a village working rough in the outdoors and looking sweaty and by royal standards, also a bit dirty (in other words, she looks damn hot & sexy) and he goes up to her and gives her an offer she couldn't refuse:

COME BACK TO THE PALACE WITH ME OR ELSE I WILL COME VISIT YOU HERE EVERY DAY. (my paraphrase).

So ladies.... what would you have Doyoung say to Asin? Such hanbok-shattering questions should not be thrown at our demure ex-queen whose only wish is to work outdoors, get a bit messy so that she could use the money earned to do more shopping and also go for beauty treatments at Baekje beauty & spa salons.

Maybe King Asin knows too well Doyoung possesses special charms that thus far only King Damdeok knows about.... or maybe they've been sleeping separately all the while.

Warning: actress Oh Ji Eun a.k.a Doyoung is showing unusual amount of exposure in the links below, so readers who cannot stomach exposed tongue & belly button should not click on those links. Don't say I didn't warn you.

http://blog.naver.com/PostView.nhn?blogId=locallkw&logNo=10096922832

just scroll down...

http://www.nemopan.com/5026626

OK... some thoughts about these 2 episodes since they were filled with treachery & betrayals, the kind and amount which only exists in dramas .... let's forget the fact that Damdeok and the writers will never want to kill off Ko Un just because he's going to serve a very important purpose later, OTHER than go search and bring back Doyoung. His role will keep plenty of korean viewers in the countryside guessing: Is he really back to Damdeok or is it a continuation of his treachery?

Will Ko Un live up to his promise to DD that he will cause DD's downfall? Or even his death?

Let's also forget the fact that the Houyans do not yet realize they only have HALF of Goguryeo's military secrets but in reality, half is still better than nothing. Will Murong Chui attack and where?

Or will Murong Chui attack the Mohe first as punishment? And use it as bait to lure the Goguryeo reinforcements?

And once Batar stops banging the tables and chairs and using his generals as punching bags, who will the Biryeo align themselves with?

How soon can Asin rebuild his forces and with the help of Spartan military advisors, retrain them to fight effectively on land? Actually with the hind-sight of history, we already know Asin's going to lose and lose bigtime, assuming our writers do not veer off and rewrite Baekje's history.

And when will Yakyeon tell DD to start building a nursery and begin auditioning nannies and wet nurses who can also double up as bodyguards? He can even name his nursery wing, DREAM HIGH, and the chosen sage from the Goguryeon mountains who will tutor his child will be none other than JYP.

[daunte29]

This MV link below isn't exactly relevant to our great King Gwanggaeto so don't bother clicking it if you're not interested.

It's just that I'm just too tickled by the recent screencaps that show SO MANY sad faces in particular the always-sad Doyoung (it's like smiling is totally banned forever from her life), Asin crying again and again, and the Great King himself looking overly serious and sad all at the same time.

Since this drama also seriously lack a sad love theme song, so just for fun, I thought one or two of you fun-loving folks might want to check out Paul Potts latest rendition - a remake of a 2003 K-Drama OST classic, whose lyrics if you listen carefully enough, somewhat convey the depressing facial emotions of these drama characters. Sports fans might also enjoy our Claudia Mueller appearing in this MV.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pyo8aglH3g8

[watchumlots]

DAUNTE29 - THANK YOU for such hilarious recaps, recaps that are way much more BETTER than the crappy drama could ever be!  I have to watch this drama now to enjoy your recaps even more.  

[Guest Lannister]

Seriously, what is happening to this drama is what unnecessary extensions do to once promising dramas.

The greedy decision to extend this drama to 100 episodes, have led the writers to pack episodes with so much filler, to the point the drama has lost focus and is plain boring.

Oh, Kdrama Powers when will thou learn to stop this practice and live shooting. Sigh*

Whatever Rooftop Prince is around the corner and I can't wait for that.

[daunte29]

Long before there ever was the Korean wave phenomenon, as a teenager, I have already been watching weekend Korean historical dramas, and in those bygone days, entire families and usually the older folks would gather round the cathode-ray TV set at weekends awaiting eagerly to see the latest shenanigans.

In any historical drama, the choice of writers plays a huge part - not only do they need to do the necessary historical research, they also need the requisite creative skills to flesh out the characters.

GTGC has two writers, the senior one being a woman and the other a newbie. The senior writer's past dramas included ONE MOM & 3 DADS 2008, THE VINEYARD MAN 2006, AUTUMN SHOWER 2005, THE BEAN CHAFF OF MY LIFE 2003, MAN OF AUTUMN 2001, GOODBYE MY LOVE 1999. Her movie screenplays include OVER THE RAINBOW 2002, LOVE WIND LOVE SONG 1999, THE CONTACT 1997, KILL THE LOVE 1996, OPENING THE CLOSED DOOR 1992.

As you can clearly see, none of her projects included any drama or movie involving historical figures or period setting. Her entire portfolio do suggest she's strong in stories and plots that deal with 3 things: love, crying, more crying.

During the drama's pre-production publicity blitz, I had hoped the PD (or production director) for King Gwanggaeto being KIM JONG SUN would prove to be a suitable choice because this PD has done nothing but period dramas in his career, DAE JO YOUNG 2008, EMPEROR WANG GUN 2000, KING & QUEEN 1998.

Thanks to him, the early days of this drama gave us some flavor of traditional sageuks but look how fast the plot development has tapered and flatlined.

As you all know, Korea's history has only two kings who were given the title "THE GREAT'" but this drama doesn't quite SEEM give us that innate sense of Gwanggaeto's MIGHT & CONQUERING POWER. Height & royal robes aside, this Gwanggaeto doesn't, to me, inspire 'greatness' as a great conqueror because the writers made him out to be such a nice guy with loads of emotion and humanity thrown in (for a while) - we are made to believe that his conquering (mass killing in fact) ambitions was for the sake of his people but in the world history of great conquerors, a conqueror's only aim was to satisfy his own belligerence.

The REAL Damdeok grew up in an era of fight or be killed, and his own grandfather was killed by the enemy and that's why it's unlikely to me that Damdeok could develop such 'strong' sense of humanity & 'value life' mindset that our KBS writers want us to believe.

Unlike today's generals who direct battles and watch live action through cameras mounted on soldiers helmets and beamed via satellite feeds, we have on record that DD himself led many of his battles - in other words, he has blood, both human and horse, on his hands, his face, splattered on his body armor. In short he killed dozens and dozens with his own hands, something that our modern generals cannot claim for fame.

So for ex-military persons like myself, it's very hard to imagine an efficient killer-general to switch persona at will and become the KBS version of Gwanggaeto - I'm not saying it's impossible; I just think it's unlikely for a man who started leading armies at 17, living in those ancient times of war and killing on a daily basis, and having no benefit of all-round modern structured education the likes of which we have today.

What Damdeok DID DO was train a 50,000 strong heavy cavalry that was the vanguard of his military force - now military historians in North & South Korea will tell us that although heavy cavalry (where the horses were armored and their riders carried long spears, and long axes, with the sword as their sidearm) was commonplace at that time, what Damdeok's enemies lacked was perhaps a well-trained coordinated fighting cavalry force that used effective battlefield tactics in tandem with Damdeok's light cavalry division, archers - both standing and mounted, and the infantry. Sadly you won't see this in GTGC.

By comparison the other GREAT KING SEJONG drama, also produced by KBS in 2008, was ALSO written not one but by two female writers, one of whom later wrote the KBS drama SUNGKYUNKWAN SCANDAL but the senior female writer's previous dramas b4 Dae Wang Sejong were: HWANGJINI 2006, IMMORTAL ADMIRAL YI SHUN SHIN 2004.

DAE WANG SEJONG drama has a few things that made its mark:

1. a great OST with sweeping orchestral music, a few songs and the usual scene-specific suites to provide the mood music; in GTGC, we might as well be tone deaf because the only identifiable music is the theme.

2. the sense of Sejong's regal power & might conveyed not just through the colorful ornate regal robes but more through the dialogue and the thought-processes involved in the palace intrigues. There were quite a few scenes showing that his people actually feared and revered the king even though the king himself never had any sadistic intentions.

In GTGC, LTG looks the part but the words he's given to speak by the writers severely limits his ability to BE THE BOSS. The KING was the last word in law and every word he utters is FINAL but in GTGC he's made to be somewhat 'democratic' in his approach listening to all views, and worse, he even listens to a fictional advisor (HMJ) whom the writers suddenly chucked in for reasons known only to them.

3. Rather than just eye candy and window dressing, the queen and other female characters in Sejong contributed (plot-wise) to the drama's ins and outs and more importantly allowed viewers to also admire the acting skills of the small group of female characters, in particular then-24 yr old Lee Yunji, who impressed many because in the later parts, she had to speak, move and act way beyond her years.

4. Suspense factors came in several parts of Sejong's evolving plot - for example stealing the chinese astronomical device, the untimely death of his longtime friend/advisor that shifted Sejong's psyche, and Sejong fighting his gradual blindness even as he was struggling to finish inventing the hangul script.

In GTGC, the suspense factor is about as gripping as watching lame battle scenes repeatedly, repeated scenes of kings and commanders sitting around the long table either being told of enemy attacks or discussing plans, crying over dead comrades, etc.

Isn't there anything NEW that GTGC can give us, besides the 'musical chair wargames' between the main powers? Since there aren't any historical writings about the REAL Damdeok other than his military career, the writers could still give us some artistic license and weave in some peculiar habits of the GREAT KING like his hobbies (mud-wrestling?) or a special talent (dismounting from a horse at full gallop) or playing the drums while eating spicy fried chicken drumsticks.

When you fast rewind GTGC, you'll notice that LTG's character usually speaks in the same few locations: his palace office with the long table; his office in the battlefield tent, on the battlefield chit-chatting with Asin/Murong Chui and then fighting and after a few episodes later, more chit-chatting before they fight yet again, standing on his ship, etc.

Nowadays the scenes (and sets) involving the main characters are just so similar - office long table, battlefield, castle entrance, on the horse/ship - that it just becomes plain boring. Different actors playing different kings and generals but their expressions are all remarkably similar EXCEPT Mr Asin, who goes a wee bit over the top.

Why izzit we never ever get to see LTG in other locations like his bedrooom/hot bathouse talking with Yakyeon. walking the palace grounds like he used to, e.g. the scene when he had just married Yakyeon and Doyoung also in the right place at the right time 'conveniently' overhearing everything while Yakyeon's female bodyguard was nearby standing guard (duh), or how about a bare-bodied Damdeok working out/practising swordplay with his generals or his bodyguard Seol Ji or Damdeok walking/riding around his capital inspecting the good sweet happy life of his Goguryeon citizens, etc.

Anyway the upcoming episode on KBSW - ep 67 - when it was first broadcast on 4 Feb 2012 shot up to No. 2 position in ratings, both in Seoul & nationwide. So it should be interesting to watch the next episode on KBSW as to what caused the sudden spike.

Footnote: As always, these are just my views AND I do know many of you have your own views which are vastly different. And so they should be different from mine because GTGC offers entertainment joy, satisfaction and contemplation in different ways to different viewers.

[Guest whodat]

Big up Daunte29. I don't think it can be said any better.

[Guest DJG]

@Daunte29, couldn't agree more.

At first, I thought you were to harsh on the drama. However, the longer we go on, the more I am agreeing with you.

The addition of 40 episodes to this drama, yes that is right 40 episodes, after the drama started, is what led us down this road.

The writers have lost steam, but they still have like 30 episodes to write, they have to drag things out, and in doing so, some things have fallen by the way side.

One would assume Yakyeon should be showing now, but we still haven't seen Damdeok even being told she is pregnant.

We still haven't seen how Damdeok earned that rare "The Great" title. The sets seem cheaply made, the costumes too. The way the video is shot is also cheaply made, and for a large part of the drama, they had problems with their lighting and film exposure, which led to us seeing all the flaws in the costumes, fake mustaches, hair pieces etc.

The problems in production can be overlooked if the story was gripping. Nothing has happened in the last 20 or so episodes. Expect Damdeok fighting the same 2-3 foes, forgiving them for some inane reason, them plotting again, and round and round we go.

Sageuks are my favorite genre in kdramas. I have never seen such over acting as in this drama. Dong Yi, was described as weak and fluff, but even that is better than this. Sageuk speak is different from modern Korean, but must they yell, snarl, and pause as if they are auditioning for a role in a soap opera. The Mohe chief and Asin, make me want to jump in the screen and slap them silly for their horrible portrayals. If we the viewers are complaining about the over acting, wth is the director doing? 74 episodes into the drama, and still not correcting this glaring error. The over acting and the weepy females just take me out of the drama and make it hard to connect. I end up laughing at the serious and emotional scenes, and cringe throughout most of the drama.

Sageuks are known for their OSTS, I can still hum the osts of DJG, YI San etc. because they added to the mood of the drama. I don't even think this drama has an ost or if they do, it is just as badly done as the drama.

The women have been relegated to biddy status. After great to good performances by other actresses in Sageuks, I would even settle for okay performances by the actresses here, but they serve no role. It doesn't surprise me that actors are dropping out of the drama like flies.

Seriously, a project this big, with a character this well revered, should have been better handled.

Oh, and after shooting up in ratings, the ratings have gone back to the teens. It seems us international viewers are not the only ones, unhappy with the state of things.

[viktoria]

totally agree with you @daunte29 and @DJG.

[Guest flydolesqueue]

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[daunte29]

KBSW Ep 67.... fetched high ratings in Korea but we need to lower our IQ to understand the nonsense. Better yet, just leave behind your IQ for 45 minutes.

How ludicrous was this episode? Let me clue you in: the end scene yet again shows our Great Damdeok being played by the Houyan and being ambushed within the Biryeo's encampment?

Say what? DD's tricked by Houyan again and ended up in the Biryeo's encampment??

Seconds earlier, the Biryeo came back from their unsuccessful raid into Mohe's camp only to find their HQ tent has been taken over by Houyan's crown prince who simply waltzed in and planted himself on Batar's chair. Without even having to kill a mosquito.

See what I mean when I used the term 'musical chair wargames' in my previous post?

So to punish the Biryeo for bullying Mohe, DD and a few (yes, that many) soldiers run into Biryeo's camp, kills 4 guards (yes, only 4) and then suddenly find out there's no more enemy to kill, not even a bird.

What a briliiant general to go charging into the enemy main camp without sending scouts, or even having a battleplan? And DD was running into the camp - whatever happened to his horse and his famed cavalry? And his archers? Were they on sick leave?

And of course when enemy arrows were raining in and piercing into his Goguryeosn infantry, in true k-drama cliche, DD & generals merely used their swords to deflect the arrows.

When will these stupid KBS writers and PDs stop promoting this fallacy that generals and heroes are the ONLY people on earth able to deflect EVERY arrow simply with their swords? That's like catching flies with your fingers every single time.

Just before this comedy, DD had saved Mohe's richard simmons because Seol Dan SUDDENLY became careless, stupid and senile ALL at the same time. Only the lovely Seol Ji realised well before that her brother made the monumental mistake of trusting Batar.

So since Mohe is just about 2 clicks away, from DD's HQ, she gallops there to warn DD. Then DD realises it's MK Un's treacherous plan with Biryeo to attack Mohe and so our Seol Ji again gallops all the way (It's ok because she arrives within minutes) to stop Mohe who were on their way to attack Houyan, and they turn back to camp.

REALITY CHECK: even if Seol Ji drives a turbo-charged Land Rover, it would take hours to travel from Mohe to Goguryeo's capital and then back to chase down her brother who was on his merry way to Houyan. Remember in those days, horses have to gallop through undulating rough terrain and not the flat superhighways we have today, and at full gallop, horse will tire and expire in a matter of minutes.

Come on... don't you folks think it's highly unlikely that even in an ideal situation, no tribal nation like Mohe and Biryeo combined would SO HASTILY even dare launch an invasion on Houyan, and for what political or economic gains?

You see, the trouble with these two female writers is that they make ALL battles and wars in this series look easy and oversimplified. For example, battles usually last only one day or a few hours., 2 days tops. Attacking troops are seen marching out and when they arrive at said location, immediately runs towards the castle wall, yelling and getting chopped.

In real wars of those ancient days, and even present day, troops need to march to assembly points, setup base camps, get rested and fed, before heading out to fight. And fights don't last in mere minutes and end when DD comes charging in.... real battles will take hours, days and sometimes weeks before one side decides to retreat or is overwhelmed.

Then the victorious will loot, plunder and rape because that's the meaning of war (even happening now in parts of Africa & Mideast) and when all that is done, hundreds, maybe thousands of slaves would be force-marched back to the land of the victors to serve their new masters.

These are documented in ancient literature, ancient historical records, and wall paintings and tomb murals and very clearly was recorded by chinese historians so I'm not suggesting anything that didn't happen in ancient wars in Northeast Asia. You can even read about when exactly slavery was finally outlawed in korean dynastic period.

K-dramas over the years of course sanitized all these realities and in so doing, many viewers unfamiliar or uninterested with korean history tend to associate all ancient wars as a BIG fight only between soldiers. In real wars when the castle or city walls are breached, every man, woman and child within is at the mercy of the invaders.

OK... now back to our disney-version of DD.... after Mohe kowtows to DD for saving their lives, DD says:

I AM GOING TO ATTACK BIRYEO FOR THREATENING GOGURYEO. I WILL SHOW THEM HOW POWERFUL GOGURYEO IS.

ERR...I do think in his haste to make such grand speeches for the KBS cameras in his deep sore-throaty voice, he forgot to include the word 'stupid' after 'powerful', since he ran blindly into an enemy camp without any plan whatsoever just like a bunch of mafia with swords.

The next comedy skit was Seok Jae who, because of his boo-boo in the previous episode, was sentenced to death by poison by Messrs Ha Mu Ji, and some ministers while chief general Hwang just kept quiet and DD also going with the flow.

Now folks....tell me how can general Hwang say nothing and allow one of his best generals (let's temporarily forget Seokjae has no brains) to be executed? Ok.... if you're also wondering why he's supposed to die not by beheading but by serving himself poison, the reason is because it was all a ruse by DD who gave him imported tequila instead of cyanide juice.

Seok Jae had thought he'd wake up surrounded by naked females or naked dudes in heaven so imagine the shock and disappointment when he discovered he had only passed out and not poisoned.

The last comedian for this episode was Murong/Ko Un. You know this weasel can't be trusted, and the previous episode already showed our good people at Houyan already knew MK Un is one troublemaker and that's why MK Un was disowned and disavowed by Murong Chui himself BUT.... horrors to horrors, our writers make our GREAT KING show misguided sympathy (yet again).

Perhaps we could give credit to our writers for making MK Un the residential chameleon with flashing LED PANEL on his forehead that says, I WILL CHANGE SIDES ACCORDING TO WHAT THE WRITERS WANT. THAT'S WHY I HAVE 2 FLAGS STITCHED TO MY DESIGNER BRAND UNDERWEAR, ONE ON EACH BUTTCHEEK.

MK Un leaves Goguryeo and where's the first place he goes to? Yup, Houyan country palace resort.

And guess what MK Un does there? First he goes to the Houyan crown prince Murong Bao, his 'ex-sugar daddy' and says something like AS PER YOUR INSTRUCTIONS, I'M BACK AS A GOGURYEO SERVANT BUT I'M NOT YOUR ENEMY.

Turning to the wily General Fengba, MK Un says something like - THANKS TO YOU GUYS, I'M NO LONGER A HOUYAN PRINCE BUT A WANDERING MAN.

Then MK Un bumps into the only beauty in Houyan's palace - Damju - and after exchanging pleasantries, MK Un tells Damju:

GOGURYEO IS MY HOMELAND. NO PARENT ABANDONS THEIR CHILD.

Puzzled by MK Un's sudden flair for ambiguous language, Damju asks:

HAVE YOU BECOME GOGURYEO'S SERVANT AGAIN?

MK UN'S REPLY? Try to pay attention because this is what he told her:

WELL, PARENTS CAN'T CONTROL CHILDREN. WHAT'S IMPORTANT IS THAT HIS MAJESTY HELPED ME REALIZE A NEW PATH.

Damju, looking increasingly puzzled but still beautiful: A NEW PATH?

MK UN: YOU'LL FIND OUT SOON..... (what he means is that KBS has given him many more extra episodes so that he can impress viewers with his flair for answering questions by beating around the bushes and shrubs using bombastic metaphors).

The ding-dong look on pretty Damju's face was absolutely priceless - 'remind me not to ask that douchebag any future questions longer than 3 words'

Murong Xi was the last person on MK Un's list of Houyan royal people to insult:

MK UN: I KNOW YOU TRIED TO HAVE MU GAP KILL ME. ..... I KNOW MG STOLE THE SECRETS. ... I WAS STRIPPED OF ALL POSITIONS. I'M A FREE MAN NOW. I COULD BE ANYONE'S SERVANT AT ANY TIME.

This attempt by the writers to make MK Un seem more threatening to the Houyan clan now that he's no longer a Houyan just doesn't add up.... in fact it's plain stupid.

Has MK Un suddenly forgotten that precisely because he's an ordinary free man and no longer Houyan PLUS he's not an envoy of DD, that anyone in the Houyan court can spit on him and just rip his intestines out?

The disavowed guy (mind you until Murong Chui himslef reverses that decision, MK Un is not Houyan and is therefore an enemy) is in enemy palace, surrounded by Houyans and yet he dares to speak in that manner in that tone?

If any of those Houyans were REAL, Fengba and Murong Xi, they would have just sliced off MK UN's head, and feed it to the palace cats and dogs. What's to stop them, right?

Hands up, anyone who thinks DD would launch a revenge attack for MK Un should he be summarily executed by the Houyans?

The plot and the script for this episode really is amateurish and plain juvenile. All for the sake of P R O L O N G I N G the series. Sigh... I hope I have funnier things to say after tomorrow's episode.

[Moosegender]

I just saw the actor who portrayed Sagal Hyon in the new MBC historical "Soldier". Guess we know why he dropped out. I wonder how many more will drop out.

[daunte29]

Yes, I like the fact that MBC's 'Soldier" or 'Mushin' did not give a sanitized version of slavery or nude inspection of female slaves, as was depicted in Ep 2. But Spartacus it ain't gonna be and after zipping through the first 2 episodes - out of curiosity & wondering if Kim Kyu Ri was hawt enough to change my mind - the story suffered from everyone looking like they're underpaid by MBC and having bouts of chronic constipation.

And I would have picked it up and migrated over if not for the fact that the lead actor whose name I won't even mention and Hong Ah Reum both absolutely are in my blacklist of actors who can make my day go from blue to black. I can say one good thing about these two - both can cry buckets and do it so well, even your cat will cry, and all your fishes in the tank will stop swimming to take a look.

I wasn't too wrong in my judgement because even the 'controversial' ep 2 which showed monks being tortured and topless examination of women (more fun if the process was reversed) couldn't help but make the ratings go down south and drop faster than the women's garments.

The women were whipped before being ordered by a female Gestapo to "Take off everything including the underwear. This is for us to check that you can do your job if by any chance they were to ask for one of you from upstairs. You are their property now. You are like animals. You have the right to die but not to get sick".

Yup this kind of realism is exactly what's missing in GTGC but Mushin went on to give close-ups of Hong Ah Reum crying and crying, and I had promised myself after watching two of her previous projects that I would never watch her ever again. Mind you, the severe crying came even though she hadn't even been violated, or touched on the shoulder, by a pair of depraved one-eyed twin brothers, with oily beards and sweaty wet armpits. Or maybe she was crying because she wasn't selected as first choice to go upstairs and pleasure the men - you know, kinda like the early ones to be eliminated from the Miss Korea beauty pageant.

Or I could be wrong and Mushin may well surprise us later but I just know GTGC has more 'fun' characters every weekend plus 3 beauties (not counting Batar & Asin) and since K-Dramas offer no sitcom-type pure comedies, GTGC is my closest weekend comedy.

[Guest flydolesqueue]

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[Guest DJG]

^ thank you semi-fly, for your continued hard work

[Moosegender]

If anyone's interested, here's a tomb mural painting of a Goguryeo cavalryman

An artists rendering of the Goguryeo/Sui wars...

The green armored soldier is a Sui cavalryman, the silver amored one with the lance is a Goguryean.

Another rendering, this time a bust...

Another cavalry drawing...

Legit excavated Goguryeo Iron armor....

It,s a shame to see this drama, especially being about Gwanggaeto, use suchblatantly fantasy armors. Also because it looks nowhere near as cool as the authentic ones.

"The King of Legend", the KBS historical prior to this drama is the only one with authentic armor....

[daunte29]

KBSW Ep 68.... who izzit who never fails to save Dumb-deok in the battlefield?

Both Eps 67 & 68 really feel like it was written by high school drama students (I hope it's high school and not lower) because Dumb-deok attacks by running into Biryeo enemy camp without any archers, cavalry and only a couple of shields. Did he watch one too many John Rambo classics back in his palace cineplex? And his escape from 2 ambushes in ep 68 is just too lame for words.

HINT: During the night ambush/battle, if you look carefully in the background, one banner is (again) running randomly back & forth, and on two separate occasions, you can clearly see the soldiers in full view casually just weakly swiping each other's swords (just like fending off buzzing flies) without even 'pretending' to fight.

The answer as to who saves DD's big richard simmons everytime he makes an richard simmons of himself is lovely Seol Ji. Of course brother Seol Doan & his long hair tribe were also in the thick of it since in ep 67, he kowtowed to DD declaring I WILL SERVE YOU FOR THE REST OF MY POOR UNHAPPY LIFE.

Now here's the 1st scene that insults our intelligence: We clearly see Seol Ji fire an arrow and it strikes Fengba in the chest. BUT Why pause AFTER THAT? Normally anyone of us would fire a second and a third arrow AT Fengba in quick succession, right? Again, the K-drama device of p r o l o n g i n g the series by keeping Gen Fengba alive.

DD asks Seol Doan: HOW DID YOU KNOW TO COME HERE?

SD: WE SENT SCOUTS.

Obviously the Mohe leader is still using his military brains and training while the writers made DD forget that he's supposed to be the GREAT GENERAL of generals.

Earlier during the ambush, after DD deflects a few arrows with his sword, Gen Hwang & Yeon Salta screams the usual 'PROTECT THE BOSS' and what happens? Miraculously 3 or 4 shields magically appear to cover DD and instantly the Houyan suddenly stops firing arrows. Did the Houyan archers stop for their lunch break?

Here's the second scene that defies logic: DD & His posse returns to their aircon studios at KBS (Seol Doan's tent) and Ha Muji says:

WE CAN REORGANIZE AND THEN ATTACK BIRYEO.

25 seconds later, Agban (Biryeo's new leader) comes in and asks DD for joint ops against the Houyan, and of course the enemy of your enemy becomes your bunkmate.

So what's wrong with HMJ's analysis? Didn't the Goguryeons rush into the Biryeo encampment to attack the Biryeos but instead were surrounded and ambushed by Houyans? Indeed DD ended up saving and helping the Biryeos, Agban in particular, and here HMJ says, LET'S WAR WITH THE BIRYEO(?)....

I should think DD and his posse would & should first ask themselves what the heck were the Houyans occupying the Biryeo's HQ in the first place? They were supposed to kill Biryeos but ended up killing Houyans who were occupying Biryeo's HQ.

Now some of you curious folks may be wondering vart happened to our Biryeo's rastafarian leader, Batar? Batar and others were captured by the Houyans and Murong Un strikes a deal with Batar - Help me help you get back Biryeo by becoming my sidekick and companion 24/7.

For Batar, this was an offer he couldn't refuse - either be a POW eating prison food and being gang banged every night by fellow inmates, OR eating palace food, wearing Houyan designer robes and doing Brokeback Mountain with Murong Un.

Speaking of MU, he was appointed by Murong Bao to reorganize and plan strategies for a Houyan counter-attack, perhaps since Gen Fengba that time still has a cupid arrow stuck in his chest sent by lovely Seol Ji (Is that why she fired only once?) .... unfortunately for MU, his nightime ambush plan on DD failed miserably because Seok Jae & other tribal reinforcements arrived to save DD yet again.

So what does our Murong Un who wears 2-3 flags stitched to his underwear do? Together with Mr Balta, MU travels to Baekje, meets Asin and passes Asin the USB thumbdrive that contains Goguryeo's military secrets. MU wants Asin to attack Goguryeo asap since DD is not in his capital but still enjoying the fresh air in Biryeo.

But the ever-snarling, suspicious and cautious Asin of course wants some assurance from MU b4 proceeding with the plan, and so MU lays a bombshell which shrunk the testicles of his 3 companions including Batar - MU WILL REMAIN AS A HOSTAGE UNTIL BAEKJE WINS THE BATTLE.

Unluckily for MU, Asin still was not convinced about MU's loyalties, and so MU ups the ante:

GIVE ME 1000 SOLDIERS & I WILL GIVE YOU BAENGMASANSEONG, GOGURYEO'S LARGEST MILITARY RATIONS STORAGE.

Asin modifies the demand: Asin's general will lead the 1000 troops to attack DD's largest supermarket and tells MU to join in the fun as a common soldier.

CUTSCENE to DD & his posse at the long table in Biryeo's tent: Seol Ji runs in and tells everyone BAEKJE IS PREPARING TO ATTACK GWANMISEONG.

Upon that piece of news, everyone at the table BANGS THE TABLE ALL AT THE SAME TIME....yeah well, it's better than loudly uttering expletives in unison, huh?

Of course it was up to Ha-ha Muji to say ''SOMETHING IS SUSPICIOUS'".

In response and in typical Rambo fashion, DD slams the table twice (bcos the king must make more noise than his underlings): I AM GOING TO BAEKJE (meaning Gwanmiseong).

General Hwang then found his voice and tells DD the bad news: THE SOLDIERS ARE EXHAUSTED FROM BATTLE- in other words, DD can go to Baekje all by himself because his soldiers are still licking their wounds and soaking in the herbal massage offered by the finest Biryeo people.

The good news was Biryeo can contribute 50,000 troops to follow DD to Gwanmiseong (but DD accepts only 20,000) and HMJ tells DD the fastest route to said location. DD them tells his posse: PACK YOUR BAGS & BRING YOUR SWIMSUITS. WE GO NOW!!

It sure looks like DD was actually yet again falling for another Baekje ruse but was he?

CUTSCENE TO BAENGMASANSEONG under heavy night attack from Baekje's troops: the supermarket falls and Asin & MU happily goes into the office hoping for some fresh fruit juices and spicy fried chicken.... only to be told that 3 of the 4 storage buildings were empty!!

All Baekje eyes including a few ceiling lizards', quickly swung over to MU, Batar & two soldiers who were all forced down to their knees, and for the end scene, who else but Asin starts snarling, yelling with spittle at MU and giving him the maniacal looks of a unfortunate man who's been serially embarrassed by Goguryeo time and time again.

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This episode appears like it wants to make Murong Un a laughing stock.... he was appointed by Houyan to plan a revenge attack against Damdeok and that failed miserably. Then he goes to Baekje and tells them to attack the Goguryeo's largest military rations storage facility, only to find out they are running low on supplies.

In short MU has used both Houyan & Baekje to fulfill his goal of destroying DD and so far he's failed twice bigtime. MU thinks he still has Biryeo & Batar on his team but actually he doesn't (see last paragraph below).

Maybe MU needs to start taking Japanese and Chinese language lessons if he wants to look for future conspiracy partners.

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This episode also saw MU reconciling with sister Doyoung while he was in Baekje and from this meeting, we are left with two clear facts:

1. MU wants to end DD's life & end the Goguryeo state, in that order.

2. MU wants Doyoung to come with him and live in Houyan but Doyoung in typical fashion keeps quiet.

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Meanwhile what Batar & MU don't know is that Damdeok has officially accepted Biryeo as an ally of Goguryeo, promoted Agban to a Goguryeon general and appointed another fresh-faced actor called Kasar as the new Biryeo chief.

In effect, Batar has already lost his previous status as Biryeo chief and the longer he becomes MU's playmate, methinks it's only matter of time before Biryeo themselves expels Batar for a major felony - prostituting himself to Murong Un and gross misconduct for a Biryeo chief.

[watchumlots]

Yup, agree this is tiresome.

My complaints are many: scenes that consist of the camera moving from one head shot to another head shot. Dialogue that is S H O U T E D! The plot consists of people running back/forth into/out of camera shots yelling "Pey-ha, we have a problem!" and the reply is always "What do you mean?" And then a battle scene ensues. Seriously, I could write dialogue for this series with a few simple cut/paste strokes of the keyboard. Oh well, at the end, bet Damdoek dies and becomes part of history.

[daunte29]

Yup, agree this is tiresome.

My complaints are many: scenes that consist of the camera moving from one head shot to another head shot. Dialogue that is S H O U T E D! The plot consists of people running back/forth into/out of camera shots yelling "Pey-ha, we have a problem!" and the reply is always "What do you mean?" And then a battle scene ensues. Seriously, I could write dialogue for this series with a few simple cut/paste strokes of the keyboard. Oh well, at the end, bet Damdoek dies and becomes part of history.

watchumlots.... thanks for your comments.

For a nice change, you made me laugh & laugh, and so now you know why I cannot let go of this drama, at least not yet.

Cheers!!

now here's a clip from King Geunchogo, also from our folks at KBS but different production team....

gotta hand it to these guys for wearing more realistic armor as Travis Walter correctly pointed out but look what happens when the nice people with arrows arrive....

"Protect The Boss" is shouted out and the poor obedient soldiers stand in front and obediently become target practice... at the very least they could have all lay down on the floor or dart about and become moving targets... but hell no... the PDs just want them to stand still and DIE.

didn't it occur to anyone that real soldiers would have jumped out through the back way and perhaps crouch down and lure the archers to come closer to the pavilion?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxYc2fL80qg well at least this hero dodged an arrow or two instead of deflecting them with a sword.

If you're among those good people who still believe humans with quick reflexes can swipe arrows with their swords, imagine and try swiping these feathered flying beauties with your sword http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4muBipy9-Q

Oh, and don't be too quick to show me those few youtube videos that show swords can deflect arrows... they're repeatedly staged so they don't show you the times they failed... secondly the master knows where his assistant is aiming at.... thirdly the bowstring isn't even fully drawn backwards so the maximum velocity is thus not achieved.

Anyway on a real battlefield in those days, which kind enemy fires only one arrow at you, eh?

For any 'master' to definitively prove swords can deflect arrows, do the following: don't ask his pretty or handsome assistant to shoot the arrows, instead ask someone like me and I'll bring along 4 more members of my archery team; there won't be any countdown because each archer will shoot at the 'master' without warning (just like in a real battle); lastly arrows will be fired from different trajectories but still facing him (again simulaing real conditions).

Archery is both a sport and hobby to me since elementary school (in Japan) so I should know if it is at all possible to deflect an arrow like how they show in dramas and movies. The ONLY way you have a chance of deflecting an arrow is if the arrow was fired from a long distance and by the time perchance you see it heading towards you, it would have lost much of its velocity and so you can actually hit it with your sword or arm.

But like the saying goes, why stick around and deflect arrows when you can zig zag & run away like hell in the opposite direction, yeah?