Do you congratulate someone for...

[Guest Sensitive_soul]

getting into a new relationship?

As above. Do you congratulate your friends when they get together with someone new?

UPDATED: I initially didn't want to explain since I didn't want to influence people's answers, but I see that people may misunderstand me.

So basically a friend got himself a new girlfriend. I congratulated him. To my surprise, he replied with something along the lines of, "Since when did people congratulate each other for such things?" He said it in a very tongue-in-cheek manner with smiley face and all. So I laughed it off.

However, another mutual friend also chided me for congratulating the friend above.

Now I'm like wha...??? People always congratulate me when ever I enter a new relationship, so this was news to me.

So...what do you think?

[Guest HavenInMuse]

Why the heck not??

Do you have a reason you dont want to? A friend tells u they're dating, you go "hey! grats!" isn't that normal?

Edit: I mean grats as in, "hey Im glad you and someone you like are together"; "im happy for you", etc. It's how you say it, I guess?

[Guest meiming8_1]

Sure! It's just congratulations as in, hey I'm happy you're happy, right?

[NaughtyDog]

I always just say "Glad that you're happy." or something along the lines of that.

"Congratulations!" to me always seemed a bit insulting, as if it was difficult for the person to find a partner.

Maybe it's just me :huh:

[Snowy-Nights]

^ Eh!  I don't think so.  It works if you sincerely say it and then give a genuine smile!  :D

[Guest kireisnowtenshi]

Me personally not really...I'm usually the one that asks a follow up question...I don't like giving people false hope and id just rather find out more if they are willing to talk It works out

Its not uncommon for people to congratulate though...a lot of people I know do it.

[NaughtyDog]

^ Eh!  I don't think so.  It works if you sincerely say it and then give a genuine smile! 

For me, congratulations is something said when someone achieves something like getting a new job, graduating, getting promoted, etc. So saying "congrats" to someone when they get a new boyfriend/girlfriend makes it seem like they've achieved something difficult lol. Maybe that's what her friends meant when they commented on her response.

[Guest ZoidbergMD]

^hmm you bring up a valid point

I've said this because I'm genuinely congratulating them on getting together but I never realized it could be taken negatively.

I mean what other celebratory phrase am I supposed to use? But when you really think about it any sort of compliment or congratulatory phrase can be interpreted negatively depending on your tone etc. If it's genuine than there shouldn't be much room for confusion unless the other person is kind of insecure.

[Guest flootist]

it depends on the context.

the person might think differently than what you were trying to convey

i.e.

1) you didnt think i could get a bf/gf so now you have to congratulate me on this seemingly impossible feat

2) you like me, so you noticed and you wish you were with me / you like my gf/bf

3) your gf/bf is too good for you, you are a winner for getting such an awesome gf/bf didnt think you could do it

etc. etc.

be careful of your tone...and dont do it for only one person (if you are going to do it...do it for everyone)

[NaughtyDog]

^hmm you bring up a valid point

I've said this because I'm genuinely congratulating them on getting together but I never realized it could be taken negatively.

I mean what other celebratory phrase am I supposed to use? But when you really think about it any sort of compliment or congratulatory phrase can be interpreted negatively depending on your tone etc. If it's genuine than there shouldn't be much room for confusion unless the other person is kind of insecure.

I usually just say "Glad that you're happy" or "I'm really happy for you".

Not many other people agree with me, so I'm guessing I'm just a bit too sensitive lol

[Guest hkukaudition]

Well i would usually say something like 'ah thats great!' but normally when i see people get into relationships i normally know that they were going to get into it.. so its like 'ah you finally got together!' rather than a 'ooooh you have a BF/GF now!' Lol

I guess maybe people could take it the wrong way but hey, if you wanna give them congrats why not?

[Guest Sensitive_soul]

For me, congratulations is something said when someone achieves something like getting a new job, graduating, getting promoted, etc. So saying "congrats" to someone when they get a new boyfriend/girlfriend makes it seem like they've achieved something difficult lol. Maybe that's what her friends meant when they commented on her response.

That's exactly what my second friend said

In a way, I can see where he's coming from, but I was just taken aback because I was sincerely happy for this friend and didn't mean to insult him.

I usually just say "Glad that you're happy" or "I'm really happy for you".

Not many other people agree with me, so I'm guessing I'm just a bit too sensitive lol

I don't think you're too sensitive. I found out too late, but it does seem that some people have the same opinion as you.

It's interesting to get different views so now I can be a bit more thoughtful when conveying my happiness

Thanks for all the feedback, everyone!

Btw, my congratz was conveyed via text so no confusion about the tone there :)

[Guest hiswendy]

I wouldn't say "congratulations", more "I'm happy for you."

A congratulations is in order when someone accomplishes something, when something difficult has been surpass. So congratulating someone on getting a new girlfriend would be like a double-edged compliment/greeting, like "Congratulations on surpassing the difficulties of getting someone interested in you when you're so ___insert negative comment here____."

[Guest superpig]

I wouldn't personally congratulate someone for getting into a new relationship.

I tend to ask what the person is like or how it's going and then if they're happy or not etc... The main question being if they're happy or not of course, 'cause that's the most important thing.

I only congratulate if they're getting married or something along the lines an anniversary. ;P

[Guest Liandon]

Nope. I never do.

I say, "woah, that's great...so cute! 8D <3" if i like their bf/gf, or if i think the parters a total db, i'll tell my friend, 'cool', with a smile.

[Guest pandaluv]

Lol, i think it's sad when someone gets told that. Sounds like it was hard for them to get a girlfriend/boyfriend :mellow:

[DFO-King]

I'd probably react the same way as your friend. Since relationships come and go, if it's marriage or something bigger then yeah that deserves to be congratulated cause you know that they love each other enough to make that decision.

[Guest Mishi-san]

lol when I got into a relationship with my bf, our mutual friends chucked him a congratulatory party LOL 

[Guest christelle-g]

If they are both my friends, I would congratulate them. If not, I wouldn't. I don't think you need to. Just say you're happy for the new couple but no need to congratulate.

[Guest HERMIT]

I only congratulate those particular friends who make it a point to offer me condolences for being single.