ever been molested and can't tell anyone?

[kfreak]

omg, i felt terrible reading these stories...

i've been one of those victims, except, it has nothing to do with my 'private' part..

when i was like in first grade, i was taking the D train with my mom and my lil brother.

Since the subway is so crowded, i wonder off to the other side of the handle... so i was facing at the back of my mom and brother.

before i even get on the train, that freakin guy was on the other side of the station (going uptown).

But when i got on the train, that guy suddenly pops up, i was shocked too, since i dont wanna even think about standing next to him.

But he got closer, to the handle i was holding.

He was wearing a big coat, like covering his whole body.

Then sudden;y, i feel something was moving on my hand, i look over and i saw it was HIS PRIVATE PART,

and i can remembered it has a sticker around it O__O

i was stunned. I quickly turn my head away and didnt move.

I was soo scared to even scream.

When the train stop on Pacific Avenue, he left, he even smiled at me!!

i felt terrible, my mom was behind me, and i didn't even dare to tell her T^T

i was so stupid!!!! but thank god he wasn't doing anything farther... it was a scary...

i dont think this counts as molested, but it did gave me scary moments..

Afterward, like when im in 3rd grade,

again, im in the subway station (Chinatown station)

and there this freakin white richard simmons guy, holding a piece of cardboard in front of him..

i was fooling around with my lil brother, and my grandma was next to me,

when i look to my right, i saw this LONG THING!

at first i was like "is that a hot dog?"

and suddenly, i noticed it's his private part...

he was 5 feet away from me, but he didn't do anything to me, except hurting my eyes...

then, i force my grandma walk farther away from that guy.. in case of something going to happen..

again, i dont think it counts as molested, it hurt my eyes...

This happened when i was in 6th grade.

My dad loves to play mahjong,

so i have to wait for him until he finished playing..

I remember i was sitting on the couch, and i was watching simpsons i think..

and then, suddenly, i noticed something was moving near my left eye (the door is next to the couch, and it's open)

i look over, and i saw this white guy (in his 20's i think),

and his ding dong was hanging, his hand was like asking me to come forward.

Ofcourse im not that dumb, and quickly jump up and ran to my dad.

My dad didn't believe me, because that guy ran away,

i burst in to tears and ran to my aunt's restaurant (which is next to the Mahjong place).

It was VERY scary indeed.

there goes my story..

i hope i won't share more of these stories,

because i don't want any more of these experiences again!

[Guest jui_kouyou_113]

i was raped once when i was really young. i don't quite remember, but i think i was about 6 yrs old... or younger.

back then i was really naive of like EVERYTHiNG because i grew up having to make all of the mistakes myself. nobody took the time to talk with me or really play with me. i was at my cousins' and i wanted to go play at the playground nearby, but nobody wanted to go with me... so i just went anyways. nobody, not even the adults, told me not to go, that they'd go with me, or to be careful. so there i am by myself when like this old guy (i think he was middle aged) comes to me and asks me if i want some candy. when i say by myself... i mean literally. it was so odd how nobody else was out on the playground, too. me... being the type of child that was such a sucker for candy, accepted. what did he say after that? he said that i had to follow him to his car to get it. so i did. i followed him into this big white van where he gave me a lollipop and i was eating it. that was when he started laying me down, pulling down my sweatpants and all... i don't know why i didn't react or do anything. it could have been from shock or somethin bout the candy? all i really remember after that was when he was just about to stick his penis inside of me... then waking up somewhere outside.

i know that it was an extremely stupid move on my part, but i didn't have anybody even tell me stuff like "don't talk to strangers" or "don't accept anything from strangers." even though i was just a child, every time i look back to what happened, i feel nothing but sadness and regret.

when i finally told my mom about it, she didn't really say anything. she denies it ever happened.

i haven't really told many people 'cause the few that i've told barely find it believable. they think i'm too happy a person. but like, how else to hide your problems besides laughing all the time nd stuff, no? i hide a lot because i don't know who to turn to. it's not like i want everyone to feel sorry for me by telling them my life story. when people find things out about my family and my past (i used to be suicidal), they're shocked with how i'm able to handle things.

Even though I don't know you my childhood story [the rape/molested] part is kind of similar. I can listen to your problems and stuff even if it's not very a big of a deal. We have much in common including the suicidal part. Let's be friends?

[Guest jasm1ne]

this world is so freakin' messed up

all those people should just go to hell and burn not even die, just burn forever

[Guest joolee.]

I remember my uncle was giving me a piggy back ride and he rubbed down there. I told my mom afterwards..

[Guest The Fey]

My friend of over 14 years always had a crush on me but I always told him it would never happen. (I'm 20 now)

Then about two years ago, he started getting very abusive and forceful. Literally OUT OF THE BLUE. It's like one day he decided it would be a good idea. Thankfully there was never any penetration/rape but there was A LOT of forced groping in areas I would rather he not touch, you know? Boobs, butt, cootch. I wasn't even comfortable with him touching my shoulders or anything from then on. (He's like 6 foot something, really tall and built. I'm like two feet high). And he would do this in front of my group of friends too. It was really john teshed up because no one would say anything about it.

I was really john teshing stupid and let it go on for at least a year because I was his friend and also I was absolutely TERRIFIED of him. I should have said something out-right but I was too retarded and paid dearly for it. He had a tendency to lash out and hit people. I don't want to sound cliche but he was really the type who would one day just "snap." If I said or did something that he found annoying or against his opinion, he would make it painfully obvious. And I mean PAINFULLY. Choking, twisting my arm, etc.

BUT, the worst part of it all is that he would also be caring. Well no not caring. Caring people don't do this mini cooper. He was smothering. He would tell me he loved me and would talk about taking care of me. He was a douchebag but at the same time, he was my friend. I felt so bad and almost obligated to endure his affections. (He even said to me once "You should sleep with me. You OWE me that for having my friendship for so long.")

Finally I went to college and away from him and got the balls to tell him that I didn't want to hang out with him alone anymore (over aim heh). He got really pissed off and told me "fine, I'll stop joking around with you then." Joking around, my richard simmons.

I finally got over the "shame" and told a few people about it. What's really frustrating is that most people are like, "oh you're just making something out of nothing" or "I'm sure you're exaggerating." It's john teshing annoying because I was really really depressed by of his actions. There were times when I would actually just lay in bed and cry and honestly want to kill myself because of what was going on. I felt like absolute mini cooper and almost convinced myself that I deserved this treatment.

So... it boils my blood when someone tries to trivialize it or say that I'm lying heh I mean, I told my gay friend (who had a crush on him/got a blowjob from him...long story) and I don't think he really believes me even though he was PRESENT for a lot of molesting. Gah.

It's terrible though because I've known him for so long. I feel like such a horrible person but at the same time, if I ever saw him I would rip him apart. Thankfully though, he's been cut out completely from my life.

I still feel really jumpy when someone is close to me though, or tries to touch me.

[Guest GetM0tivated]

I can totally relate. I've never been violated by a stranger, but by my dad. He constantly leers at my body and my face ever since I hit puberty. I can't even walk past him in the house without him turning his head and staring at my behind or my chest or basically everywhere. I'm not curvy, so what the hell is there to stare at??! It's one thing to call your daughter pretty and look at her as she's growing into a woman, but to do it lustfully and shamelessly is completely wrong.

I understood early on that there was something very unhealthy about my relationship with my father. He (I don't know if this is considered molestation) put his hand to my richard simmons and waist during a family vacation, using a bullsh-t excuse that he was trying to move me to a better view. It actually prevented me from going to the front and he moved me one inch to the side. I never felt so violated in my life, and whenever I think about it, I feel like murdering the perverted f-ck. I told my older sibling (who couldn't care less at that time), who stupidly and mistakenly told my mother, who told me I was crazy and said that my father isn't a stranger (yeah, which makes it worse, right?). She calls me a liar all the time, blames everything on me (even when I have no involvement in a problem or it's entirely situational). I know she knows what's going on. My mom is a smart woman, but she is very good at deceiving herself. Instead of being my mother, she has indirectly encouraged my father by turning her head the other way. I feel enormously betrayed because she's chosen not to protect me. It's easier for her to blame me than my dad, who she is financially dependent on. My parent's relationship is dysfunctional and they don't love each other, which makes me think that my dad substitutes me in her role. I fight with my parents like crazy everyday. I call my father a pervert, and he tells me to go to a psychologist (haha...how ironic) and tries to act innocent/clueless as to why I am so hostile towards him and says I must be narcisstic about myself (ironic again). I did a lot of research on father-daughter incest and it's a lot more common than people think. My dad used to be a severely abused child growing up. I know he needs therapy...but Korean parents...therapy? Get real.

My dad has caused me a lot of mental anguish, and most of my relatives think I'm an 'acting out' teen who (in Korean terms) hasn't had her 'wisdom teeth' removed. I'm also very anal so I have a lot of worries and anxiety (whether this is a result or I'm normally like this, I don't know), I am going to get my own therapist when I grow up or go to college (which is basically in 2 months, thank God) because I don't want to repeat this vicious cycle or suddenly have abusive relationships with perverted men like my dad (which often happens to those molested or abused) and I'm a pretty hostile/angry person now. Instead of growing up and enjoying my sexuality and femaleness as a teen as I should've, I'm ashamed and embarrassed about it. In reality, I know if I notified someone in school about this, my dad could be potentially arrested depending on evidence or I would be separated from my parents and taken into a safe place (I don't have the effort to go through this, and as a daughter, as sick as it is, I feel a torn sense of loyalty to my family even though strangers have treated me better than they have) Links on Research I've done Another One Another One

So..that's my story. That felt good to spill, although I'll probably regret it later on. I guess I should be thankful I don't have it so bad as others, but at the same time, just because someone doesn't have it worse doesn't mean he/she doesn't deserve better...you know? you know what I mean? Lovely: I really feel your pain. If you ever need someone to talk to, you can always PM me.

I'm sorry that had to happen to you and that your mom is like that. My biological father also sexually molested when I was 11 years old. He made me take a shower with him once and he wouldn't let me turn around or get out of the shower until he was "done." So I just stood there and I would feel something pressing on my back. Then he picked me up, I don't know what he was trying to do, but then he dropped me and my face ended up getting bruised, and all he could do was laugh. He would make me look at his dirty magazines and ask me what I thought about it. He forced me to sleep with him, saying that he was renting my room out to one of his friends. So I had to sleep in his bed and I guess he thought I was sleeping, and then he started touching me "down there". I didn't know what to do, if I should wake up, but I just laid there an pretended I was sleeping because he was also physically abusive, and I was afraid he might have hit me if I tried to get away. At the time, my mom was moved out of the house to get away from my dad so I couldn't tell her. In the morning, I went straight to school and I told someone about it. Then the police took me to the police department and I had to tell them about it, and then make a screened call to my dad. It turned out that someone saw me leave school in a police car and told my dad about it, so he ended up cursing me on the phone in front of the police. So they told me to hang up and told me that I was "very brave". I had to go to court and testify against him but I didn't want to, the judge was telling me that it wasn't like the courtrooms you see on television, it would be in private. My dad ended up pleading guilty so I didn't have to testify. He's in prison now and that's where people like that belong.

On a random note, yesterday I had to take a lie detector test for my new job and they had to ask me detailed questions about my past, and I ended up crying in front of someone I didn't even know. I thought I was past all that stuff and I always wondered why I was never "emotionally scarred". After it happened, I went to a foster home and I went to live with my aunt and uncle, went to see a therapist (I actually never talked to her about what happened). I never gave a second thought to it and I thought I had moved on. However, when I was in front of the lady giving me the lie detector test, I couldn't stop myself from crying.

That's just my way of saying even though it doesn't seem like it has a big emotional effect on you, you may not even know that you were traumatized by it.

As for my mom, she was always supportive but we rarely ever talk about it. I did ask her once what happened after I told school and if she had any documents from the court. She did but I dropped the discussion after that because I wasn't so sure that I wanted to see the documents.

At first, I thought "who would want to put this kind of information up for everyone to see?" but now that I think about it, it's really bad to keep it bottled inside so I think this thread is a good idea.

Edit: It's strange how I posted in this thread and I started to remember more of what happened.

[Guest kawii_kiki55]

omg i feel so sad for you but i have been through that too. when i was about 7 or 8 that happen to me. i promise i would keep this secret to my grave but since you are strong to even say this i would do the same. anyway i dont want to say what happen cause it was so much pain but trust me man are dogs. no one will understand what we been through except for us girls who has actually been through this. i know this because ever since that happen to me, i started hanging out with more guys. there i learn that some guys are nice but every boys brain is like the same. always about girls. the guys i even hang out with liked me too but they didnt do anything like that. they took it and accept it. anyway i became tough and now some guys are scared of me, some are my friend, and some dont even know i who i am. all i have to say is stay strong and learn to defend yourself like im learning now. you can trust nobody in this world except for yourself.

[bbyBoss]

Well one or two year ago {can't remember}, I was almost raped. But I don't know what happened. I guess I was stupid and i'll never know until I "hit board" {cantonese translation}. and I did last winter. I was at my boyfriend's house till 8ish and it gets dark fast since it's winter, and I always did this for many months. When I got off the bus stop 2 blocks away from my house, this guy also got off, and he went the other way because I look around for cars before crossing and I caught him walking completely opposite directions, so I turned on my ipod and walked home. When it gets close to the Duplex side by side of mine, I can either take the way where i'd have to walk an extra minute or two, or an alley that takes about 30 seconds to walk through. While I was JUST heading into the alley, the guy was suddenly behind me and he put his hand over my mouth, and I remember he had brown leather/plastic gloves on. Then he was like fighting to keep me in his grasp but I wasn't even fighting because I was really really scared, and after he stopped covering my mouth I said in a shaky voice "what are you doing" and I mean it was REALLY shaky and he tried to push me to the floor, but it wasn't a hard shove, I tumbled but I didn't fall hard..it was just sorta like losing balance. And then he just stood there and stared at me. I quickly gained balance and RAN all the way down the alley, looking back to only see him still looking at me and then he turned away and left. It was really really scary for me. I called Edmonton Sun {local newspaper} and the guy chatted with me abit and told me he'd write a tiny article on it but I never checked in the paper the next day to see whether he DID. I was debating to tell the police but I let it go. Then I told my step-mom, my step-mom told my dad and for some reason I really didn't want my dad to know. He asked what happened, and I didn't tell him because I am not close with my dad anymore ever since he divorced my mom. He's pretty abusive, but I know he's a good dad and he cares. He's just scary when he's mad or stressed, he take anger out on me. But yeah he stopped asking afterwards. This summer we moved in a new house and stuff with lots of houses. But up to this day, it still haunts me. I've gotten really scared of the dark ever since, and I get paranoid of tiny noises when i'm sleeping, stuff like that. However, i'm not emotionally scarred by this. I'm just more spooked and careful from now. I told a few friends and they didn't even care. I told a good online friend and all she did was make a "@@" face at me. Although the flashback still happen every now and then.

One thing I want to add though, when it happened, alot of thoughts were racing in my head like LITERALLY {im 17 this year by the way so when it happened I was 15}. Everything was going through in my brain, but one thought I kept with me from that moment up till now is how I kept thinking to myself over and over "I cant believe this is happening to me"

Sometimes it feels horrible to know something like this happened to you and no one cares, but still...what can I do right? Oh well, it's all out on soompi now ><"

[caseyl]

omg hearing these stories really spook me.

but like my friends cousins relatives

arent really aggressive or abusive or a perv.

but i guess you can never be too sure?

im not a person that gets touchy

and im not a person who someone can take advantage of.

but i really should take up like taekwondo. it might come in handy

[Guest Miss Vivienne]

I'm sorry that had to happen to you and that your mom is like that. My biological father also sexually molested when I was 11 years old. He made me take a shower with him once and he wouldn't let me turn around or get out of the shower until he was "done." So I just stood there and I would feel something pressing on my back. Then he picked me up, I don't know what he was trying to do, but then he dropped me and my face ended up getting bruised, and all he could do was laugh. He would make me look at his dirty magazines and ask me what I thought about it. He forced me to sleep with him, saying that he was renting my room out to one of his friends. So I had to sleep in his bed and I guess he thought I was sleeping, and then he started touching me "down there". I didn't know what to do, if I should wake up, but I just laid there an pretended I was sleeping because he was also physically abusive, and I was afraid he might have hit me if I tried to get away. At the time, my mom was moved out of the house to get away from my dad so I couldn't tell her. In the morning, I went straight to school and I told someone about it. Then the police took me to the police department and I had to tell them about it, and then make a screened call to my dad. It turned out that someone saw me leave school in a police car and told my dad about it, so he ended up cursing me on the phone in front of the police. So they told me to hang up and told me that I was "very brave". I had to go to court and testify against him but I didn't want to, the judge was telling me that it wasn't like the courtrooms you see on television, it would be in private. My dad ended up pleading guilty so I didn't have to testify. He's in prison now and that's where people like that belong.

On a random note, yesterday I had to take a lie detector test for my new job and they had to ask me detailed questions about my past, and I ended up crying in front of someone I didn't even know. I thought I was past all that stuff and I always wondered why I was never "emotionally scarred". After it happened, I went to a foster home and I went to live with my aunt and uncle, went to see a therapist (I actually never talked to her about what happened). I never gave a second thought to it and I thought I had moved on. However, when I was in front of the lady giving me the lie detector test, I couldn't stop myself from crying.

That's just my way of saying even though it doesn't seem like it has a big emotional effect on you, you may not even know that you were traumatized by it.

As for my mom, she was always supportive but we rarely ever talk about it. I did ask her once what happened after I told school and if she had any documents from the court. She did but I dropped the discussion after that because I wasn't so sure that I wanted to see the documents.

At first, I thought "who would want to put this kind of information up for everyone to see?" but now that I think about it, it's really bad to keep it bottled inside so I think this thread is a good idea.

Edit: It's strange how I posted in this thread and I started to remember more of what happened.

OMG. I saw your child pics on the 411 thread. You were so adorable that it was hard to see that photos don't show anything. So false. o_o It's so sad to see something like that could happen to anyone.

This is so horrible.

[Guest jui_kouyou_113]

I went to a website that located sex offenders and there is one that lives a street across from mines >__< So horrible. I finished reading all the stories so far and waiting to read more. It's really crazy but uncles and cousins/family members do actually do that and it's just stupid. You shouldn't want to kill them but make them get punished for their horrible actions that would scar kids and teens for a really long time.

[hiien]

I went through 23 pages and read all stories. I'm sorry to those who've been molested.

I'm glad the thread is here so that you guys can jot down your stories, somewhat relieve the horror.

[Guest hypokritical]

that's how messed up the world is..

in my area...there's a subdivision of suburbs..

new york is our urban area.

but..

theres:

-rich/white/5-6 people do drug towns

-really black towns

-really ASIAN towns= drugs,drugs,drugs

-asian town, but smart

-black and asian

-white towns

those are the sub divisions, and the black and REALLY korean towns are really....urban.

they party=weed, and alcohol

and in my church, theres this girl...thats really become messed up, and she lived in a really asian town=urban..

and a guy rung the door bell, and she opened it..and he asked if he can use the bathroom..

she was 6? she said yes, and he locked the door and raped her...

her uncle came like 3 minutes later, and almost killed the guy.

[Guest PH4T]

This is going to make me paranoid for the next month.

To hell with those morons.

[Guest beana*]

My story isn't as bad as everyone elses but I at least

know how you guys felt being violated.

Basically I was hanging out with my old roomie she was

having al of these guys over to hang out and I said sure

I'll hang out too but I'm not going to do anything with these

guys bc I have a bf.

In the end we just ended up in a hotel room chillen and what

my roomie was gonna sleep with this one guy another guy

chillen on the chair and me and this girl were to share a bed but

this other guy wanted to share a bed too. So I was like whatever

as long as I'm not in the middle. In the middle of the night the stupid B%*^

left me and I woke up to this guy playing with my *ahem* I was soo shocked

at what was going on I didn't scream bc I didn't want to make a scene. However,

in the end I pushed the guy off and cried myself and the next morning

this fricken dude had the nerve to like give me a hug or some s*&^t like seriously?

I told everyone I had a bf I did my best to not try to get myself into what I did but

I should've spoken up and said something sooner I should've listen to the bad vibes

that were going through my head that night I felt so bad for my bf but he was soo understanding

and caring about it I'm so glad I had him through out this whole ordeal.

Ontop of that that guy was an army guy showed some class he had

[Guest --hearts.]

I'm glad this thread is here so that people can let it out, but...

Damn the world is retarded and full of really freaken screwed up people. All these people you guys have been talking about should BURN.IN.HELL.AND.ROT.THERE.

[Guest estar_127]

dang... i never really knew there was so much molestation in the world....

well until a few weeks ago.... its not trechnically molestation but i went to NY for a school event and i went to a social with other classmates....

so we were dancing and all of a sudden i feel handson my waist... i was so freaked out i turned around to see this guy behind me dancing like it was natural.... i like froze up... luckily my friend saw my situation and pulled me towards her.... i never knew people were like that arrrgggghhhh

if i could i would beat the hell out of all of them

[Guest SimplySwt^.^]

I'm glad this thread is here so that people can let it out, but...

Damn the world is retarded and full of really freaken screwed up people. All these people you guys have been talking about should BURN.IN.HELL.AND.ROT.THERE.

so true

[Guest EchoOff]

omg. i'm so pissed. why does the moms deny everything? aren't they supposed to be there for you or something?

this reminds me of that article.

what the hell?! :fury:

[Guest r41ny]

I was 9 or 10 when I used to go to this place to rent movies, this guy who works there would always follow me around while I browse for the discs. Then he would 'accidentally' brush my breast when its supposed to be my arm, to recommend me this movie and such. It happened everytime I went there and at that time I dont even know what 'molest' means but I felt so uncomfortable and stopped going to that place. Just few weeks ago, I talked to my sister and friends about it. And to my surprise, my sister told me when she was young around 7 years old, we used to play hide and seek with our cousins in a room and one of our cousin actually got on top of her and when she calls him to get off her, he refused. So she made excuse to leave the game. Later on, she wanted to go the grocery store to get something and he said he'll go with her but she decline his 'offer' and he didnt say anything since our mom and aunts were present. Just this spring break, we went to Hawaii and while walking, a group of teenage cyclists past us and my sis, standing nearest to the pavement, got slapped on her but by one of those sick bastard. She told my friend and I and we scream at them. Those sick kids.