Don't know how to deal with this person

[BoAFriend]

I've on and off had disagreements with the behavior of this one friend of mine. I've talked about her quite a few times in this love&relationships forum, to prove what longcomings I've had with her.

Pretty much, her behavior and way of thinking has really gotten to my wit's end. Recently she invited me out to a fair (OC Fair, anyone in So Cal?). I thought, "Hm, alright sure.", esp since I've all I've been doing nonstop this summer is doing slavework for my mom. On the day of our outing, she reveals that her mom and her (my friend's) "boyfriend" are going too and that we were just going to take one car (don't ask me about the "boyfriend" thing.) Okay...well pretty much the fair was fine and everything and by the time we're having dinner, I remind her that she still owes me money from another outing of ours (where I had to pay for an afternoon tea because this girl had no cash on her ), and on top of that that she owed me another $5 from a few drinks I bought for her. She suddenly quips out this attitude and says (with the full on hand gestures), "Well, let's see...if you're gonna put it that way, then I'd have to take out money from the parking for today and also money for gas. So pretty much I only have to give you -amount I will not disclose-" At this point I'm not only taken aback by her sudden attitude, but the fact that she's ALWAYS (there's a lot of backstory to this behavior of hers)counting money out from friends. First off, she didn't tell me until the day of that her mom and "bf" were coming too. Secondly, she didn't even say from the start that I had to pay anything such as gas or parking (I didn't even know there was going to be a parking fee), and last but not least, she pretty much OFFERED/ASSUMED HERSELF to be the ride. If you OFFER to be the ride, isn't it safe to assume that you're just willing to take care of all the necessities (ex. gas)? And if not, wouldn't you say something AHEAD of time?

So at this point, I say back to her, "You know, if all you ever do is try collecting fees from people and saying 'You owe me this money, you owe me that money', no one's going to want to go out with you." (And again, there's backstory to this - let's just say once she, who volunteered to drive, suddenly pulled over on the side of the street and refused to drive because a few friends wouldn't give her money for gas. She never told them ahead of time that they had to chip in). And this girl just gives me a b-itchy "Fine, then don't don't come out next time then."

Am I in the wrong at all here? I mean, like are you f-ing serious? I swear I don't know ONE person in this world who keeps tabs on their friends and tries getting every bit's worth of money from them. She offered to be the ride, yet she just decides to collect the parking fee (which no one knew about) and money for gas from me just because I brought up the fact that she owes me some money. And just for side reference, she has a lot of "I owe you, you owe me" strings attached to certain other individuals. Ex. She owes a girl I know $40 from 3 years ago, and she also claims that some other guy owes her about $60, etc etc. She seems to place a lot of her relationships off money and an "I owe you-you owe me" system. And this is not the first time I've tried getting my money from her - everytime she gives me the same "I have no cash on me right now" excuse. So bull because there's a Chase like 5 mins from her house.

I'm not stupid to not know that this is a bad friendship to be in, but I can't help but keep pushing myself to hang out with her because, FML I hate to put it this way - but back home here, I have no friends. Not even joking...all my high school connections have either died out or just gone awkward. I've been friends with this girl for about 4-5 years now, and this fall, I'm transferring to a university about 2.5 hours away from where I live. Because of how far the school is, I know I'm probably not going to be coming back home as often as I used to (my previous university was 40 mins away from home). I'm wondering given all this crap I can't put up with anymore, would this be a good time to cut ties with this girl? It's been a long time coming in our friendship, and there have been a LOT of bad bumps in the road. And every time, I've tried to throw the water under the bridge and start anew with her. But right now, I'm really seeing this neverending cycle from this girl, and on top of that she has this really stubborn, bossy attitude that's suffocating me. I should have permanently cut ties with her a long time ago, but I kept pushing myself to amend matters with her because I'd have no friend at all.

Tell me what I should do.

I'd appreciate any advice and input. Thanks

[Guest blue4est89]

I have a friend similar to that. He's not annoying about fees and whatever, but he'll always try to weasle his way out of debt like that. You can stay friends with her, just be wary not to lend her any money anymore...because she obviously doesn't have the integrity to give it back.

[Guest ZoidbergMD]

you sir have tolerated more than any normal human being would  normally tolerate from such a friend.

You're transferring in a month basically, so what's the big deal, why put up with all the crap when you don't need to.

I don't care how lonely you are, you won't die with that one bad friend out of your life.

[Guest alexandra1234]

I have a friend just like that and I didn't know how to deal with it. We had an argument last week and I just couldn't talk to her anymore. And yes, it's about money problem.

My suggestion is reconsider being her friend. You know how a lot of people said you shouldn't involve money with your friend if they're like that, but there are a lot of times where that's not possible... like you said, she invited you to go and she offered to drive without mentioning the gas up front then expect you to help pay for the cost... that's crazy. It's not something you should expected from some people.

I have/had a friend who I invited to watch he musical event with me, and I've told her the price for the ticket and everything, so I bought the tickets once she agreed with the price to pay me back later, but instead, she said since I invited her, she doesn't need to pay for it. And then expect me to pay for the gas she drove from her city to mine to see the concert. Another part is that I invited her to go on a road trip with us, and I'll pay for the gas but we have to split the cost of the hotel. Well, she's not paying for it back either since she said that I invited her so I should pay for everything. Seriously? It's not that I didn't mention up front that I'm not paying for it. A lot of friends are really not worth to keep. And now she's not paying me back for the concert ticket, and split up the cost for the hotel. (Arghhhh)

[Guest tjpnoii]

Well, you're transferring, and that means you'll have a chance to make plenty of friends. I know you and this girl have been friends for a while, but you should not take any more of her crap. She's not really a friend if she just pays attention to numbers or like that one case where she refuses to drive. It's your choice. If you want your money back, it's not worth it. She'll just find some way to take advantage of you before you'll ever get cash.

Hopefully, you'll find great friends that won't turn out awkward.

[Guest white_roses]

cut ties with her. She's only going to make u feel miserable..she doesn't value friendship as much as you....not the people u want surround u. U pick ur friends...so u can cut ties. If u know u guys don't get along well together...its better to be apart..it'll be good for both of u. I did it..and i'm glad i did...my life got better.

[Guest SHINEjaejoong]

It's better to be a loner than having stupid friends like her.

In my opinion.

[BoAFriend]

Alright thanks so much for all the input guys.

I'm just scared that when I'm back home, I'm going to have absolutely no one to hang out with or spend time with. But I'm really seeing how it's not gonna be worth my time to spend my time all with this one girl who's so demanding and pushy. Freakin' hanging out with a tax collector or somethin.